Gabriel's log

[MakingAComeback]

Eyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!

Good post, thanks for following up.

Your plan, is solid, and will bear fruit.

I agree with your post, and 100% want to see you have full conviction in your thinking, and stay with YOUR JOURNEY.

A lot has to come together in this game. Looks, Social skills, Vibe, Inner Game, trauma recovery, and building an excellent life.....

Taking a big picture view, works best IMO. Women will be there when you've worked on, and made progress on your actual issues. Focus should be on sticking points, and progressively resolving them.

People have a tendency to exist in their own world, and find it very hard to calibrate into other people's reality. I've seen that a lot. Just the nature of people I suppose. They project a lot of their own thinking, and unfortunately, this might not be what is best for the individual.

It's very important you follow your instinct at this time, and lean into what aligns most with you. Your life outcomes, are king. Put them first. And have conviction in your thinking.

I am keen to create space for people to express themselves and share their ideas, and follow their life path the way they need to. There is enough space on the forums for this, and I appreciate it.

-MAC

 

[Sisyphus]

Neat developing other facets of your life is good.


This is categorically wrong. Dating is quantitative, especially in today’s world. We have this forum to get feedback to get better. In fact nothing worse than a guy worried about 1 girl overthinking the right message/words/style. Way better to play the field

I'm not saying it's one extreme or the other. I'm not saying be obsessed about 1 girl but imo it's much better to do fewer interactions and analyze them deeply, get feedback on, rather than just make thousands of robotic approaches or dates where you make the same mistakes over and over.

And also there's the matter of goal setting. Having more sex with more girls is one metric but I don't think it necessarily transfers to other aspects of dating. I think we all agree that the goal of approaching, dating, etc. is overall self improvement, inner growth and character building rather than just increasing your laycount. Metrics are just one way to make sure we don't go to the other end of spectrum and become theory only guys with no balls to take action. But there has to be a balance in my opinion.

How many guys with 500 lays do you know who talk/act like virgins?

This was a bit of an exageration to make a point but not so much. I don't know if you still hang around in Voldemort's chat but I've listened to some guys' interactions and they are quite cringe (trash vocal projection, autistic social skills, etc), even after thousand of approaches, dozens of lays, etc.

I also know guys that aren't so deep in the self improvement rabbit hole but are more normal. They maybe had sex with less than 10 girls in their life and settled down with a chick. But they have a way better vibe, they come across as normal, not virgins.

I do agree there's a correlation and the shy/autistic guys with tons of lays are rather exceptions.

Most guys in the space are self-help autists (I'll include myself here too) and we often ignore what matters. The majority of girls want to have fun at the end of the day. So to retain a girl (especially in a competitive environment) you need to demonstrate that you have a cooler life than her. This way, she'll be like "Oh nice, if I stick with him my life will also be cool." Most girls won't stick around to hear you rave about a new book you read or your favorite guru's latest discovery. The girls who like this stuff are the minority and won't necessarily be hot.

Agree with the self help autism lol. Agree with girls not caring at all about self improvement. But I don't think it's necessarily about having a cool life in the normie sense of the word. I think girls prefer loser piece of trash drug dealer (yes, even for retention and yes, even "good girls") over seven figure guy that goes on cool exotic trips, well respected, tons of friends (not saying these things are bad).

This is what I think by the way, I don't have experience with this, it's just the advice that I resonate the most and my intuition tells me is correct. I think Casey Zander, again, is the one that's closer to the truth right now. He talks about "painting illusions of value" being more important than objectively having a cooler life. It's more about emotional stimiluation than real value (not saying real value doesn't matter).

As an alternative, you can always go be white in Asia or Latam. I'm going to Pinayland next month and already have 8 girls looking forward to seeing me again. I used to feel bad about playing life on easy mode, but I'm too old for this shit.

I was born white in Latam, although Argentina is probably not as easy as the Phillippines. I agree with what you say, except for the part of playing on easy mode. I don't care about having less results if that means becoming a better version of myself. I like hard mode.

My issue with all the "Chris advice doesn't work" comments is that the people who write those never actually follow Chris's advice to a T.

Chris was big on looks. Looks mean low body fat levels, a ton of muscle (preferably hitting genetic potential and then adding some roids), and style that turns heads. Find me a guy on the forums who has all 3 and struggles with girls. There's probably none.

I remember Chris saying that the point is to look like a sexual threat. And most guys in the forums are, at best, good-looking guys who are pleasant to be around and whom I wouldn't mind introducing to a girl I want to sleep with.

Sure, go ahead and be introspective. Try to improve your social skills, etc. But don't tell me that Chris's advice doesn't work in 2024 or in XYZ location when you don't fulfill his criteria. It's like complaining that a diet didn't work, but you only followed it for 2 days.


That's the case with 2 of my chad friends. The younger one is scoring 1 girl every 1-2 days. This makes it infinitely easier to get the next lay. Plus, he's literally glowing. When you're around him, he exhumes a calm energy that just feels good.

This is a fair criticism. However, life is too short to wait until you applied something 100% before you start noticing its flaws. Sure, I'm not gym maxxed at all. But I got to 10% body fat a long time ago. And it works. I would probably be an incel if not for that. I never said it didn't work, I'm just saying it has limitations. As I said, even small adjustments on the overall philosophy you follow can make a huge difference on your life trajectory.

Also, what your say about not following advice to a T can be applied to learning Game too. So many guys are like "game is bullshit!!! I tried this canned opener and didn't work!". Most guys (that have the balls to approach in the first place, most can't even do that) get to maybe 10% of their game potential. They are barely scratching the surface. For every 100 guys with a six pack there's maybe 1 advanced legit player. Actually even less than that. In any big city, you can count them with with your hand. Game works but it's really, really hard to learn and internalize.

I think at this point in my life I have seen quite a lot of good looking guys with ugly or low value girlfriends. And I also know personally short, skinny-fat Game guys that had many attractive high quality girlfriends.

Early 2000 PUA theory leaves a lot out of the table but it also nailed a lot of things, at least in theory. Looks/Social freedom theory + massive action taking ethos was an improvement, but that doesn't mean we can't get the best of both worlds.

-----

I just approached a hot girl when I was walking out of a pharmacy. This was pretty much the first girl I saw today, I was totally cold but executed and got her number.

She was rushing to work but still managed to stop her (something I would probably failed at a couple months ago). Overall I feel the interaction was trash and I didn't do much push pull, etc except when she insisted a bit about giving her instagram instead of her number and I persisted in a cocky way. I felt nervous and tense. The interaction was so bad that I thought she gave me a fake number, but it was legit.

I guess that nowadays my worst interaction is better than my best interaction in the past. There's some basic elements like certainty in the opener, persisting on the stop, persisting on the number, overall vibe and vocal tone, that I'm nailing every time, even if I don't do a lot of game after the opener or if I have small cracks in my frame.

 

[MakingAComeback]

Yeeeeeeeeeeeee Sisyphus dropping bombs

Post regularly bch. Holden I like he posts a lot. These other cucks come and go, don't be like them.

 

[Bman]

Other than that, I see no real negatives.

Ghosting, rejection, breakups, all that shit hurts and is real. On one hand, man up and keep going despite your feelings, but also you need to take care of yourself and be more strategic. It's like boxing. If you are getting too many punches: a) you're doing something wrong b) you're more likely to get knocked out .

A few rejections aren't a big deal. But being ghosted, or having too many rejections over a long period of time can leave serious scars . Again, girls themselves play a role in this too, in this day and age.

This doesn't effect you at all, Holden?

I'll be honest, I'm nowhere near three digit numbers, but this stuff already leaves a tinge in my mouth sometimes. I don't care if I have five other girls lined up, ghosting still hurts. Not so much the rejection, that's ok, but to not have the decency of saying why still drives me crazy. It still hurts every time I have to reject them for whatever reason, too. And breakups suck, too. Even if they were casual.

A normie is only going to have to deal with these occurrences a handful of times. We are playing the game of large numbers. We get repeated exposure, even if we're great at retention. We're not Genghis Khan and can retain all 100 girls as concubines. I'm just speaking from my own experience, and maybe I'm too much of a softie, but it takes a toll.

I'm not complaining that it happens. I accept the realities of the game, and the benefits still seem worth the toll, but OP is valid to be weary I think.

 

[Holden]

This doesn't effect you at all, Holden?

Not really.

Not so much the rejection, that's ok, but to not have the decency of saying why still drives me crazy.

If I get ghosted I either saw it coming, and I'm glad I don't have to do it myself, or I'm confident enough to know the problem wasn't me.

Like, either the problem is me, in which case I know why, and her giving me the reason is redundant.

Or the problem has something to do with her, in which case her giving me the reason would be redundant also.

Unless there were some obvious incompatibilities, or if for some reason I messed up on the date (being very tired, not in the mood, not in the moment due to stress or worries etc) then I'm at a point where I just assume something happened in the girl's life and I'm out. Her ex-boyfriend just texted her again. She wanted to get one last fuck in before committing to another guy (has happened a lot of times by now). Her menstrual cycle changed. Who knows. But I know if I performed well, and there was no obvious incompatibility, the problem likely wasn't me. So why care.

It's Chris's idea of sexual availability.

It used to bother me much more because I kept thinking "what did I do wrong." And for newbies that's a good exercise. At a certain point though, there's not much mystery to this stuff anymore. Either I fucked up, and I know it, or something happened with her outside of my control.

And breakups suck, too.

I agree, but in my relationship life, the break-ups are never really "break-ups." They're long extended breaks with an open door to restart the relationship at any time. There's a girl I've seen on and off like this for 5+ years.

If a plate decides to end things, I know there's a greater-than-50% chance I'll see her again some day, often in a matter of months. That makes it sting less.

My worst break-ups were the ones where emotions ran really high, feelings got involved, and I also closed the "open door" for that reason. But only 3 girls so far ever made it that far into my life to elicit such strong emotions. Those break-ups were bad, sure. But like you said, the normies also deal with around this number of bad break-ups anyway.

 

[Bman]

@Holden thanks for the perspective, valid points. I supposed I'm still doing the "what did I do wrong" but most of the time I know exactly what I did wrong as you said. Or it was entirely out of my control.

To some degree, I'm still getting used to living in a new paradigm. I suppose one day the sting of any of it will all wear away. I just don't ever want to get cold or callous because of it.

 

[Antonio44]

This doesn't effect you at all, Holden?

I'll be honest, I'm nowhere near three digit numbers, but this stuff already leaves a tinge in my mouth sometimes. I don't care if I have five other girls lined up, ghosting still hurts. Not so much the rejection, that's ok, but to not have the decency of saying why still drives me crazy. It still hurts every time I have to reject them for whatever reason, too. And breakups suck, too. Even if they were casual.

I don't really get that bothered by it either. I agree with @Holden, there's not a lot of point after a certain level, like sometimes there's external factors you just can't know. If you see patterns, sure, but I've never really seen a consistent pattern.


On ghosting specifically - it never really bothered me. I think it's as I don't really take it as a rejection of me. Life just sometimes gets in the way. Partially, I think it's cos I also do it (ghosting) to others, which helps me to see both perspectives. I don't do it consciously, it's just my lifestyle is busy and sometimes I don't have time to reply to messages - even with my close friends I'll do it and tell them it's not personal, I'm just busy, often in deep work, just call me if it's important. So I feel like it's half my way too.


There's also an element of "keeping the door open", and I can easily see how women would do the same, like when I got ghosted previously it doesn't mean she's a bad person or that I'm unattractive, it could as easily be that she just feels like if she keeps seeing me she's gonna get heartbroken so she runs. Or she had a boyfriend and he found out. Or any other possible factor.


Ultimately, I also feel like I don't owe them anything, like I want the best for all the women I've slept with, but at the end of the day, their happiness is their responsibility. I will try to bear in mind your perspective though on how ghosting might feel to others, like I like how I'm getting a little bit softer in my old age and I always want to try to make people see the best in themselves.


On relationship breakups - yeah, they can suck, but I've never really felt like that bad either afterwards. Like I've had 2 major relationships (2 and 6 years), both of them broke up with me, though I could tell we had problems beforehand so it wasn't like I was blindsided. And honestly, even at the time of the breakup, I kinda felt like they're both really great women and if that's how they felt, fair enough, like I knew I'd be OK and I respected their choice, even if I didn't agree with it. Plus when you have problems in a relationship, it's a lot of stress etc, and after breaking up, I felt like "ah, a weight is lifted". It also helps a lot that my close friends always rallied round me afterwards too.


I think a big part of this mindset is I always feel like I'm on an upwards trajectory, like every year I'm better than the previous. When I'm in relationships, I really feel it allows me the time and energy to focus on building business/life goals, like being single for me is very distracting with all the late nights, texting etc. And after a long relationship I was like "oh, cool, I can try being single again and lets see if we can cash in all the life progress I've made!"


Like I think back to my first proper breakup, first love, I was a romantic then and tbh I still am. But you know, a month later, I'm playing a festival with my band and after we're doing press and the cute interviewer is flirting heavy with me and I was just like "oh wait, I'm single, I can go for this now". Like being single is really great for the freedom it offers, and having been in a relationship sometimes can also help you to appreciate being single.



@Bman btw - still thinking of the excellent points you asked re mindset last week, it gave me a lot to think about! I will reply - but feel it's a really big and important topic that's taking me some time to think over (even talked it over with my girl!), thank you for the insights.

 

[Bman]

Partially, I think it's cos I also do it (ghosting) to others, which helps me to see both perspectives.

I actively try to never do it. Happens sometimes. I know I don't owe them anything, but I don't know, I guess it's a respect thing and respect is very important to me. You know the whole "Do onto others as you would have them do onto you." I recognize that's my own internal shit though about wishing the world would just be little kinder to one another.

On relationship breakups

This is a very, very valid. My relationship with my ex-wife was 8 years long, but could have ended it at 6.5 years. I'm just stubborn about "failing" something and if the goal was "until death do you part", I was going to give it my best. Suppose every parting is just a bittersweet ending and opportunity to open the door for new experiences and growth with a new person. I feel the same way that I have grown from when the relationship began to when it ends, I'm a newish person, and therefore a different relationship will be beneficial to help me grow as that newish person. The hope is that other person would have grown with me, and we'd be able to continue growing together, but I know firsthand that is not always the case. Love my ex dearly, but my pace of growth outpaced hers, and that was even with me actively helping her to grow.

Appreciate you, Antonio. Thanks for the perspective.

 

[Sisyphus]

No more mental masturbation

I'm going to post daily.

The moment of reflection and aligning my philosophy is over. Now comes a time of action taking and going through pain. Not even a lot of pain. It's just boring grind.

I was always good at thinking big picture and poking holes at everything, and bad at executing.

I need to focus on work until I improve my living situation, my video editing skill and my overall effectiveness as a human being.

I'll do situational approaches like I've been doing but nothing more. I won't even message leads.

I'll go to the gym 3-4 times a week and eat a small caloric surplus but I won't micromanage it.

So no more philosophizing, except on specific inner game things that can be realistically improved.
----
Only ONE goal

The number UNO thing I need to focus on right now is work. Weather is super nice down here but I need to pretty muck lock myself in my room and not think of anything else.

This is a critical moment. With my client/employer we started posting on social media, after planning for this shit for months. The second reel (posted last week) already got 40k views on tiktok (the account had no subscribers)

It's only a matter of time until we make it big. But the faster the better. I want to move fast.

And also this is an opportunity to really hone down my skills as a video editor and go from barely mediocre to decent... before I get replaced by AI so I then find the next job that's going to get replaced by AI.

And overall, this is an opportunity to prove myself I can lock in and grind and create something valuable for once in my life... to prove myself how hard I can go...

---
Call with MAC

Over the last couple of months I've realized that I'm more than capable to achieve my goals. I'm relatively smart, had a good upbringing. In the past I had doubts about this, but now I'm certain that I have no excuses.

Not gonna say editing is easy but it's not rocket science... it's mostly hard work

What's holding me back is my inner game and performance.

This was precisely what we discussed on our call with MAC.

Here's a summary of the steps I need to implement:

Topics​

ADHD Management and Performance Optimization​

• ADHD symptoms can be mitigated through lifestyle changes:
  • Watch sunrise daily (15 mins) to regulate brain chemistry
  • Optimize sleep: pitch-black environment, 10 PM bedtime
  • Reduce screen time and artificial light exposure after sunset
  • Consume DHA from marine fish (e.g., sardines, mackerel) for improved cognition
  • Consider intermittent fasting for autophagy and brain health
• Focus on consistency and discipline in work habits:
  • Implement 2-4 daily 90-minute deep work blocks
  • Establish non-negotiable work routines Monday to Friday
  • Give yourself 1-2 years to build high-performance habits

What I implemented:

-Going to sleep 23-2330.
-Waking up earlier (I've been waking up at 6-7am and today at 5:30am).
-Watched the sunrise for 10 minutes (only today).
-Been taking a fish oil supplement.
-I've been working at least 6 hours everyday including weekends but I'm not consistent, sometimes I work 10 hours, sometimes much less. I also need to be more rigorous with the no distractions policy and making sure I'm in deep work mode.

I'm gonna start using a desk monitoring activity to estimate the amount of time I'm actually working. And I'm gonna set 4 blocks of 90 minutes of deep work, preferably early in the morning.

still pending:

-going to bed earlier
-shutting down electric devices after 8pm
-organize my day in consistent work blocks
-----
Nofap

I don't have a serious issue with PMO. I have even done hard mode for 90 days in the past (although I did it for religious reasons).

However I need to become more strict, even intransigent with this. Other people may have a free pass with this, but in my case I need to be very careful about PMO, overstimulation, dopamine.

-No more edging (even using only imagination)
-No more going to Twitter profiles (even without logging in)
-Only fap ONCE a week, and thinking about a girl I had sex with and preferably the same girl.
----
Things I need to improve to become a better professional:

a) conscientiousness
b) gregariousness

There are many angles to both of these concepts but I think they sum up pretty well what's going on that makes me ineffective.

---

Things I need to improve to become a decent video editor:

-be clean, orderly, tight af. No sloppy hippie shit.
-be super efficient and high performance. Always ask myself how to do things 2x as fast.
-be an early adopter of AI. I already got a hang of image AI and got really good with midjourney. Now I need to get good at video.
-be super creative. Be able to make list of dozens of ideas in a minute. Be able to visualize stuff ahead of time
-be very strategic about how videos perform on social media.

 

[Crisis_Overcomer]

steps

Just FYI, you link to Fathom so everyone can see your real name and hear your voice.

 

[Sisyphus]

Just FYI, you link to Fathom so everyone can see your real name and hear your voice.

Thanks bud

 

[Sisyphus]

November 1st

• Work: 5h 41m (fail)
• Nofap: Success
• Wakeup time: 7am (fail, goal was 5:30am)
• Sun gazing: cloudy day

Secondary goals

Went to gym
Failed to do situational approaches while working at campus library

Thoughts on approach

I remembered why I was able to cold approach despite being fucking autistic. The pain of not approaching is unbereable. I feel like shit for missing on chances yesterday.

The chances I had were mostly groups and I feel much more inhibited in those situations. I also feel kinda observed in smaller environments (I also know people there so I get paranoid about me too etc. there are cameras, employees might begin to notice me, I'm like a decade older than most girls there, which is kind of crazy). It's much easier to approach in the streets where you feel anonymous.

Also, it's easier to do an approach session, get momentum, etc than to do a situational approach, with no warm up, no chances of skipping sets until you get in the flow, etc. The chances I had were mostly groups but I also pussied out on approaching a girl by herself. Now I can't afford to waste time, travel downtown, do 2.5 hours approach sessions where I have time to reframe my self talk, etc. I have only one shot, or a few shots to make cold approach work, then go back to what's important, and all while I have other things in my head that are consuming mental bandwith, and I'm still in logical "no mistakes" mode, instead of a letting go mode.

And, since I became more socially and game aware, fighting approach anxiety became harder... part of my past success in beating AA depended on me believing that my behavior didn't matter and it was all just about looks and as long as I approached I was alright. Now I know that you can't be autistic and do whatever, I'm more self conscious, and only approach when I'm feeling "in the zone" and that the approach is going to go right. So I'm not going outside my comfort zone.

I need to accept that approaches that make me more scared, like groups, are not going to be smooth and do them anyway. I need to embrace the autism for a while until I get the reps in. Despite doing a lot of cold approaches I haven't done a lot of group approaches, let alone mixed groups. I'm not sure if I have even done more than 100. I also need to trust in the work I have done to improve my vibe, that even if I feel kinda nervous, from an outside perspective my vibe now is better than my best approach back when I was vibeminused.

Finally, I think the most benefit of cold approaching lies in going from 0 to 1-5. When you do high volume it is easier because you get in robotic autopilot mode. Your balls are most tested when you are cold or you are doing something outside your comfort zone, before you get any exposure therapy.

Thoughts on work

I need to accept that being bored in front of a computer will be my reality for these months. I need to reframe work as an opportunity of proving my worth as a man, in the same way approaching is a test of your balls, working is a test of a different type of balls. In my case, it's about doing boring repetitive shit for a long time. Instead of framing it as something cuck or boring I need to think about it as masculine. And fucking around, being lazy, is feminine af.

Thanks to social media we all now believe that working 4 hour work weeks while drinking caipirinha in the beach is the way to go, and if you're locked in your room for days you are missing out on life, not working smart, etc etc.

I believe FOMO is one of the things that's unconsciously mindfucking my brain to not work hard, specially now that the weather is nice and girls are dressed like sluts, etc. Part of me wants to approach but I rationally know that it's not the best move now, for many reasons.

The key to work for me is keeping my ass glued to the chair and not going to distracting websites. If my only choice is staring at the computer like an idiot or doing work, I'm going to work. If I get up and take a walk I get tempted to do other shit, think about other shit, and it's much harder to regain focus.

 

[MakingAComeback]

Superb

Egoically getting laid when the rest of your life is on fire is stupid, and there isn't going to be any real development taking place for us as men

Scotty could become who he was because he was able to approach 4hours a day while on the streets of NYC, working for his Dad, who 100% supported what he was doing. Money was good and he had zero cares apart form getting his dick wet. Admittedly, he was solid overall. I've spoke to his Dad myself and know the situation they had. It was just perfect. Chris lived off his wealthy fathers money for years while he was doing this shit. Other guys you see, have other variables that allows them to often do this: Just Exist mode due to phenotype, so their "game" is oxygen breathing pretty much, they have to show up and work a little, yes, but for most it is not going to be like this. For most guys, who lack the phenotype and looks for autosex, you have to be an absolute beast of a human being to pull this shit off and it's a multi dimensional, multi directional journey

Takes several years to build the kinda machinery that will facilitate elite living, and that is just the truth

To build the looks and body

To build the social skills, vibe, and game

To build the inner game

And ultimately, to have the finances, network, wings, mentors/coaches, and living situation to properly facilitate it all

You need to think strategically and figure out YOUR pathway to results.

For YOU, in this particular season, you need the fundamental performance ability, focus, clarity, finances, and to have all that nailed down to a good level. You've had results in the past so aren't in deep pain over this.

Become the man you need to be, women and results will come. That you can ATTACK after getting your life right for a while. Make real money. Build something proper.

Train hard. Fight easy.

Cry in training. Laugh in war.

Taking a year off women & dating myself in 2025 to build my businesses, and we'll absolutely kill it in 2026......

You have to be smart at solving this puzzle to pull this shit off, dude, if you don't have the luxury of autosex and automatic victory due to phenotype and looks, it is an awfully tactical, deliberate, multi year journey of building a world-class man, and world-class living situation, which will require quite a bit of work to be honest

But you've got it

LOL @ you cucking yourself helping the bros of the forum out with your coaching call recording, and absolutely doxxing yourself in the process

MOGGED

Happy with your progress since the call!

-Ravi

 

[Sisyphus]

November 2nd

• Work: For some reason there's no time logged yesterday, even though yesterday I could see the time logged of that same day. I remember it was barely above 6 hours, which is a failure
• Nofap: Success
• Wakeup time: 7:30am (fail, goal was 5:30am)
• Sun gazing: cloudy day

Secondary goals

Went to gym
Didn't have any chance to approach. Although I know that if I went to the gym earlier I would have encountered a girl to approach.

No words really. I'm going to try to be patient with myself while also remind myself that this isn't an acceptable level of performance and that if I keep working like this I'm going to end up sleeping on a cardboard box and eating food from the trash.

However these small wins like going to the gym and not touching my dick nor seeing porn help me feel like I'm in control.

 

[MakingAComeback]

No words really. I'm going to try to be patient with myself while also remind myself that this isn't an acceptable level of performance and that if I keep working like this I'm going to end up sleeping on a cardboard box and eating food from the trash.

However these small wins like going to the gym and not touching my dick nor seeing porn help me feel like I'm in control.

Really glad you can be patient with yourself.

Take your time and try to be very self compassionate.

It'll come. Believe me.

-R

 

[Sisyphus]

November 3rd

• Work: Fail. I also need to figure out what's going on with Rescue Time app.
• Nofap: Success.
• Wakeup time: 8am (fail, goal was 5:30am)
• Sun gazing: fail.

Today I woke up 5:30am so I'm feeling much more productive and optimistic about writing about yesterday's failure.

Yesterday we did an asado (barbecue) and in invited a bunch of family friends. It basically consumed half of the day, and I also drank too much which made it harder to work afterwards. I did work a bunch of hours but felt sluggish and unfocused.

I don't have drinking problems but I shouldn't drink if I know I have to get shit done. But I guess it was nice to let go a bit considering I don't go to social events ever.

It was also cool to socialize a bit and know that I've normalmaxxed a lot and I am pretty cool now. Although I still have a long way to go. Some aspects that I'd like to improve, at least in these type of settings, is being more vulnerable, opening up more, and also ask deeper questions.

When I improve other aspects of my life I'm going to focus on building an actual social life so I don't have to rely on cold approach to build options. Plus being social is key.

 

[Sisyphus]

Superb

Egoically getting laid when the rest of your life is on fire is stupid, and there isn't going to be any real development taking place for us as men

Scotty could become who he was because he was able to approach 4hours a day while on the streets of NYC, working for his Dad, who 100% supported what he was doing. Money was good and he had zero cares apart form getting his dick wet. Admittedly, he was solid overall. I've spoke to his Dad myself and know the situation they had. It was just perfect. Chris lived off his wealthy fathers money for years while he was doing this shit. Other guys you see, have other variables that allows them to often do this: Just Exist mode due to phenotype, so their "game" is oxygen breathing pretty much, they have to show up and work a little, yes, but for most it is not going to be like this. For most guys, who lack the phenotype and looks for autosex, you have to be an absolute beast of a human being to pull this shit off and it's a multi dimensional, multi directional journey

Takes several years to build the kinda machinery that will facilitate elite living, and that is just the truth

To build the looks and body

To build the social skills, vibe, and game

To build the inner game

And ultimately, to have the finances, network, wings, mentors/coaches, and living situation to properly facilitate it all

You need to think strategically and figure out YOUR pathway to results.

For YOU, in this particular season, you need the fundamental performance ability, focus, clarity, finances, and to have all that nailed down to a good level. You've had results in the past so aren't in deep pain over this.

Become the man you need to be, women and results will come. That you can ATTACK after getting your life right for a while. Make real money. Build something proper.

Train hard. Fight easy.

Cry in training. Laugh in war.

Taking a year off women & dating myself in 2025 to build my businesses, and we'll absolutely kill it in 2026......

You have to be smart at solving this puzzle to pull this shit off, dude, if you don't have the luxury of autosex and automatic victory due to phenotype and looks, it is an awfully tactical, deliberate, multi year journey of building a world-class man, and world-class living situation, which will require quite a bit of work to be honest

But you've got it

LOL @ you cucking yourself helping the bros of the forum out with your coaching call recording, and absolutely doxxing yourself in the process

MOGGED

Happy with your progress since the call!

-Ravi

Yeah bro. Subsidizing a player lifestyle with other people's money isn't my cup of tea.

I don't think it's impossible to have a dating life+build the rest of your life at the same time, but one should take priority. Some guys here have achieved it and some guys on gll have done it as well.

Although a lot of these cases fall into what you call the "Just Exist Bro" crowd. I fall somewhere in between and I'm ethnicitymaxxed actually, but I'm logisticsminused and for a long time cucked myself with lack of social skills and inner game issues.

It feels kind of frustrating that now that I'm getting my shit together I'd probably get more results from maxing volume but at this point in my life it's unacceptable to live a life focused solely on chasing pussy.

And when I was younger and it was more acceptable to sleep around I didn't have the skills nor the masculinity to make this work.

While it's true that I might be in a better position in the future to prioritize women, I also think that's a bit of a cope. You don't get younger with time. Both internally and externally I'm getting old. I'm fucking balding. And internally it feels increasingly more off to date 18 olds even if a lot of chicks dgaf about age gap.

My internal "settling down" clock is ticking even if I didn't achieve all I wanted from a player lifestyle. So I don't want to get into the mindset of "figuring this out later".

What I'm doing now is probably the best I can do. Approach on the side, enjoy the last fruits of the player season before it's time to turn the page, and also improve game bit by bit, but with the rational intention of becoming more competent in social skills, leadership and inter gender dynamics.

There's also the fact that we don't know how the future is going to look like, where the world is going to end. We don't know whether cold approach, dating, etc is going to be something easily available in the future.

So I'm trying to enjoy the present, while also coming into terms I might never figure this out.

As you said, I did have results, most of the chicks I've been with I felt attracted to and treated me like a king. Some of them I would say I loved both internally and externally, even if they weren't super hot.

So a lot of times I feel it is time to (psychologically) "cash in" on the benefits while I'm still on a high note and move on. If I didn't achieve everything I wanted, it was my fault ultimately. It was my decision to not approach a lot of girls I decided to not approach. It was my fault to be a social recluse in my teenage years when getting laid would have been x10 times easier.

 

[Holden]

You should make money obviously but it's a persistent lie, borne from ignorance and lack of experience, that making money will help with getting girls.

You need enough money for your own place to stay, and enough time to hit on girls. That is enough.

Obviously you need money in life. But not for girls.

I got started early. Nightgame at 15. Then started having success at 18 as a broke college student. But college = time + proximity to girls and I had 3 years of going out, learning "game" and socializing under my belt.

Then got a job and I remember thinking, "now that I have my own apartment as opposed to shitty student accommodation, I'm going to flex on all the students living here and swim in pussy."

Not really. I mean, I got my harem lol but not because I lived in an apartment and had a steady job.

I got my first harem of 3 girls I saw weekly when I still shared a bathroom with 5 other people and slept in a one-person bed.

Somewhere along the development of this "subculture", when it went from PUA to "red pill", it became fashionable to advise guys to "get your shit together" before you think about dating and it results in guys slaving away their 20s and 30s trying to get a career, money, etc. and then they have the fucking apartment and the car and they get lapped by the starving artist playing guitar at the local pub.

It's more attractive to be a starving guitar player than it is to be an accountant making $50K or whatever.

Obviously things change on the extreme ends when you actually have an insane lifestyle. But for guys in the middle, going from 30K per year to 50K is not going to change a single thing, unless you specifically use that money to either get more free time (most guys, OTOH, start spending MORE time on their career/biz as they make more money) or get an apartment in a better location (which costs a lot more so guys are hesitant to do this)

Point being, and this post is a bit rushed, more money is good for its own sake but it will not help with girls. Just so you know.

In fact, telling girls about my job/biz tends to have the opposite effect where instead of them categorizing me as a scumbag playboy that will give them some orgasms then fuck off, they put me in the provider bucket and withhold sex as they think it will retain me. So paradoxically in some ways it's even worse.

All I'm saying here is, having a stable job is not sexy to women. They simply don't respond to that. It's either starving artist/poor club promoter/degen drug dealer or millionaire. The guys in the middle get fleeced.

 

[MakingAComeback]

No one is suggesting you need money for girls, but for a high end lifestyle, yes you do lmao

Jesus fucking Christ some of yall proving the point hook line and sinker

 

[Sisyphus]

You should make money obviously but it's a persistent lie, borne from ignorance and lack of experience, that making money will help with getting girls.

You need enough money for your own place to stay, and enough time to hit on girls. That is enough.

Obviously you need money in life. But not for girls.

I got started early. Nightgame at 15. Then started having success at 18 as a broke college student. But college = time + proximity to girls and I had 3 years of going out, learning "game" and socializing under my belt.

Then got a job and I remember thinking, "now that I have my own apartment as opposed to shitty student accommodation, I'm going to flex on all the students living here and swim in pussy."

Not really. I mean, I got my harem lol but not because I lived in an apartment and had a steady job.

I got my first harem of 3 girls I saw weekly when I still shared a bathroom with 5 other people and slept in a one-person bed.

Somewhere along the development of this "subculture", when it went from PUA to "red pill", it became fashionable to advise guys to "get your shit together" before you think about dating and it results in guys slaving away their 20s and 30s trying to get a career, money, etc. and then they have the fucking apartment and the car and they get lapped by the starving artist playing guitar at the local pub.

It's more attractive to be a starving guitar player than it is to be an accountant making $50K or whatever.

Obviously things change on the extreme ends when you actually have an insane lifestyle. But for guys in the middle, going from 30K per year to 50K is not going to change a single thing, unless you specifically use that money to either get more free time (most guys, OTOH, start spending MORE time on their career/biz as they make more money) or get an apartment in a better location (which costs a lot more so guys are hesitant to do this)

Point being, and this post is a bit rushed, more money is good for its own sake but it will not help with girls. Just so you know.

In fact, telling girls about my job/biz tends to have the opposite effect where instead of them categorizing me as a scumbag playboy that will give them some orgasms then fuck off, they put me in the provider bucket and withhold sex as they think it will retain me. So paradoxically in some ways it's even worse.

All I'm saying here is, having a stable job is not sexy to women. They simply don't respond to that. It's either starving artist/poor club promoter/degen drug dealer or millionaire. The guys in the middle get fleeced.

I'm aware of this. The starving guitar player will run laps on me. But he'll be a starving guitar player. And I'll work on something else that I believe brings me a better future (location independent middle class income doing something that I find interesting or see myself doing long term and not for money only). I do it for its own sake and for my own values.

I said in some posts above that I'm aware women prefer "loser" bartender with no long term future than guy earning comfortable six figures. I'm aware also that it's not the case that bad boy is better than "solid guy" only for one night stands. The asshole player also has benefits for retention. But there are confounding elements with this. Certain professions screen for personality types that happen to be more attractive to women (bartender screens for social skills, musician/hippie screens for creativity and not giving a fuck attitude, etc.)

But I'm also aware that I don't have to adapt my life so I have better chances with women. As much as I want to have a hot girlfriend or hot plates, there other things I believe are more important, like supporting my family, being able to afford having a kid, etc.

Also, the point of MAC post was working on your life first so you can afford a player lifestyle in the first place, hence why he mentioned Scotty or Chris living off their parents to do the full time pick up thing(although in the case of Chris I think he supported himself through personal training and selling supplements).

Finally, I think there's something about "getting your shit together" that might be attractive for women in the long term for more intangible reasons. It's definitely not a matter of saying "I earn more than this guy so women will be more attracted to me", but more about your overall psychological/spiritual development. It goes beyond the financial/employment aspect, and encompasses very little things, like your social skills and the way you relate to other men, your competitive drive, your ability to figure things out (even little things like fixing the kitchen sink).

It's about being a man that can set aside pleasure, including women, in order to do what needs to be done. Although this is just a conjecture, I might be off mark here.