GN's Progress Log - Self-Love Arc: A bit better this week + Physique Update

[G.N]

I probably should have realized this last week when I got a girl back to my place and we didn't even kiss, even though I was doing my best to escalate, and I had my arm around her shoulder stroking her hair. At the time all I thought she was worried about was my roommates hearing us, but seems that didn't matter and she knew already she didn't want to go there.

Why didn't you kiss? Did you try to? Were you waiting for her signal? Some girls don't give strong signals. You may just have to go for it. Mystery's Kiss Close is handy sometimes. I don't use it anymore but it was useful back in the day.

Actually good idea. I have been doing some self reflecting and realized both my other first dates I gave off friend vibes rather than sexual partner vibes. So maybe I can work on being more flirty I guess? I still have a lot of work to do, my ass is too afraid of making a girl uncomfortable though that fear goes down when I have some alcohol in my system.

I was kinda thinking how goofy the whole conversation about it was with her. So I propose something low cost as an idea. She says "so are we just gonna get tea, talk, then go home lol", which makes me think she wants more. So I say something like (and forgive me if this sounds stupid but) "well lets get tea but see where it goes", then she says something about how she wants to be sure I am "not the kind of guy who wants sex on the first few dates". So wtf does she want. First she made it seem she wanted more, but then simultaneously wants less. But her bio said looking for a relationship, mine is short term but open to long. I guess maybe she just wants something a lil romantic? idk, may just take her for a walk or something after, unless we don't vibe then ill just get my tea and chat for some time, then leave.

Just tell her it's a low stakes vibe check as you are meeting up in person for the first time. When a girl says she won't sleep with you, just say "that's fine" or if you want to be a bit more gamey and high energy you can disagree and amplify/chase frame like "Get your mind out of the gutter, I didn't even mention anything about sleeping with you". Don't do the latter over text unless the interaction is very fluid fun flirty.

Either way you're going to want to try to sleep with her on the first date. You most likely won't, but you have to try so that the girl knows you're a sexual threat.

However, I would say if you have really very very little experience going on dates, and you are having trouble with escalating confidently (kino and stuff), you should go ahead and go for dates that will go nowhere (e.g. where logistics are poor). It does mean nothing will happen on the first date, but you will get the practice, especially if you're struggling to get matches and need more practice on dates, you should capitalise on whatever opportunities you have to go on a date. And who knows, maybe you'll get a second or third date that will lead to a lay. You should still try to follow Manga's advice about location logistics, but if you're inexperienced with dating then having a few dates as practice won't hurt. You can practice flirting, kino, eye contact etc. I came from a very sexually repressed childhood so going on many dates was very helpful for me. I used to find it soooo difficult to even break the touch barrier on a date. It took me a good number of dates to finally do so and do so more quickly. I came up with strategies such as leading her by the small of her back while crossing the street, as a simple but effective way to begin kino, or practiced things like touching her earrings and rings and asking about them. I naturally do not have strong eye contact so I had to work on this quite intentionally as well. Heck, I was also worried to even say "let's go back to my place and hang out", let alone coming up with pull reasons, seeding the pull etc. I needed practice just saying that because I was worried the girl would think I wanted to have sex with her (though that is actually the goal in saying "let's go back to my place"!!). These are all elements you can get better at by going on a date, even if your logistics are not perfect because the girl insisted on meeting in the middle rather than near your place.

Even now I have poor logistics. I manage it by handling other aspects of logistics (being more careful about timings, starting the date earlier to give time for the pull.)

Here you can see my dates across the years. Note the long dry streaks earlier on when I was inexperienced. I got friendzoned many times. And yes it appears that I did sleep with my fifth online date, but this doesn't include maybe 3 online dates I had before I started tracking. (I may go back and retrospectively add those...) That lay came from 2 friendly dates ending with a kiss, and on the third she just came over.

Screenshot 2023-10-16 at 12.35.30 pm.png

Didn't kiss because I was too afraid of her not being into it and calling coercion or whatever. Was not waiting for a signal, more so that she just seemed into it enough. Thing was she did initially say she didn't want to get touchy, but I thought it was cuz she was afraid my roommates could be awake, but I told her they sleep early so thats no issue since she said that initially. She said cool so we went back to mines, thinking Ill finally get laid.

When I got her back to my place she asked me "so what do you want to do", tried to play it cool but she saw through my bullshit so I said "make out" cuz I am not experienced in this area at all. She said no, so I said okay how bout a kiss and she also said no. I think her reasoning was being religious and stuff, also not generally being the hookup type.

Basically 90% of my mistakes and problems in this scenario came from the fact I have no experience.

That is fair, tbh its good to have practice on the average girls so if I fuck up it is not the largest deal, and once I get good, the hotter girls would be easier-ish.

I did listen to his advice on logistics, problem is the 5 minute places have awful food so that could piss her off and ruin my chances. The 10 minute places have decent boba/coffee at least, also they are literally down the street from my place, no turns needed. I try to keep the dates around 6-7, cuz getting laid may be easier since its not too late so she doesn't feel unsafe and it makes sense to go home around that time.

I didn't have any experience with girls growing up either due to being on the spectrum, plus my parents never gave me good dating advice since they were each other's first. I had to rely on others and from that gained some amazing, good, bad, and horrid advice.

I am not gonna meet in the middle unless the girl is really hot tbh, even then I may try to meet as close to me as possible.

 

[G.N]

I also decided to try out a days worth of Bumble Premium. I checked out my likes and all looked pretty solid. Two were light skin black girls and the other a tall blonde. One was 18 and messaged me. She seems to be looking for a relationship though. We set up a date regardless, she sent me something about how she wants to make sure I am "not the type of guy who expects sex on the first few dates". Not really sure what to do about that, possible shit test? I just said I understand that it takes some level of comfort.

Tbh this is up to you. If you're inexperienced and she's attractive I would say go for it. It's good practice. You don't really learn much from girls who are easy to sleep with.

Although, there is a decent probability she won't fuck you on the first date based on what she said.

I would say go for it if she's hot enough. If you're not really crazy about her then I would probably just next her tbh. But if you're inexperienced then maybe it's better to get some experience regardless

She is somewhat attractive, like a high 5 to low 6/10.

Decent probability? More like 99% lol.

Feel like from what manga and fodcussy said I will just do it for the experience

 

[G.N]

Got another date set up from Bumble this week. It is with this overweight girl who is really into Star Wars and activism and stuff. Regardless she looks okay, her face is nice and she had pretty eyes. I am taking GLLs advice and just trying to focus on their most attractive features. As long as she is not heavier than her photos I think its good (really hoping she looks better than her photos).

Her profile says long term but open to short, so a lay is possible here. The date is at a closeby coffee shop with a couch, so Ill just sit down next to her to make it easier to physically escalate.

 

[Squilliam]

Decent probability? More like 99% lol.

Don't always take shit like that seriously. I once fucked a girl who literally wrote in her bio in all caps, "I WILL NOT HOOKUP WITH YOU", and turns out she was some crazy hypersexual girl who sent nudes before even meeting up. Granted, there was a pretty large SMV disparity. I had only one lay at the time and was pretty desperate.

She might be saying that because she genuinely doesn't want a hookup. But she's 18. She genuinely might be inexperienced and not ready to have sex yet. She might even be a virgin. I think it's reasonable to wait longer in that scenario. Where IMO you shouldn't wait is if the girl sleeps around and then starts putting up resistance with you. That's a sign that she really doesn't respect you or value you and that you should next her.

 

[G.N]

Decent probability? More like 99% lol.

Don't always take shit like that seriously. I once fucked a girl who literally wrote in her bio in all caps, "I WILL NOT HOOKUP WITH YOU", and turns out she was some crazy hypersexual girl who sent nudes before even meeting up. Granted, there was a pretty large SMV disparity. I had only one lay at the time and was pretty desperate.

She might be saying that because she genuinely doesn't want a hookup. But she's 18. She genuinely might be inexperienced and not ready to have sex yet. She might even be a virgin. I think it's reasonable to wait longer in that scenario. Where IMO you shouldn't wait is if the girl sleeps around and then starts putting up resistance with you. That's a sign that she really doesn't respect you or value you and that you should next her.

Yeah this girls bio was like "I wanna be a wifey not some boy's toy" or something like that. You are right on the money, esp about how stupid it would be to wait for one girl while she is sleeping with other guys. But in this scenario what is the best course of action? Still try to physically escalate?

 

[G.N]

pancakemouse do you have any leather jacket recommendations within the roughly 100 dollar range?

 

[Manganiello]

Theres a boba spot and a coffee spot about roughly 10 minutes away by walk from my place.

10 minutes is close enough.

5 is ideal. But 10 is fine. You'll have to make a conversation as you walk back tho.


About the chick:

I think for this one I may just try to be less of a "friend" and keep my voice calmer rather than like two bffs talking, which is what my first two dates were like.

Yes, she has enough friends, and so do you. Be what she wants. Which is a masculine guy who can lead her through conversation and life, who agrees and sharply disagrees, who is likeable but willing to stand firm on his beliefs and opinions (Vague - but finding your best self on a date, takes many dates to figure out). It's just certainly not a guy who a girl can have a nice friendly chat with.

...

Is she worth it?

Personally I'd skip her entirely and count her as a loss.

But that depends how sure you are about it.

Physical and verbal escalation is also about testing the girl. How does she respond to your advances?

If she responds poorly often. Then you can safely assume, she's not feeling it with you.

Your not looking for super receptiveness for your touches or things like that. You're just looking for a lack of repulsion.

Now, be super super mindful of what youre doing and not making her do anything she doesn't want.

You'll get better at this in time.

...

About the bumble girl:


Ya until you have maybe like 8 or 10 lays, and you know you can get with girls from online consistently.


Lower your standards to get the experience in.


My standards started were low as dirt.
And thanks to some of the guys on this forum for telling me to do that. And Chris's advice was useful too.


Now they're pretty high. I raised them over time.

 

[G.N]

Theres a boba spot and a coffee spot about roughly 10 minutes away by walk from my place.

10 minutes is close enough.

5 is ideal. But 10 is fine. You'll have to make a conversation as you walk back tho.


About the chick:

I think for this one I may just try to be less of a "friend" and keep my voice calmer rather than like two bffs talking, which is what my first two dates were like.

Yes, she has enough friends, and so do you. Be what she wants. Which is a masculine guy who can lead her through conversation and life, who agrees and sharply disagrees, who is likeable but willing to stand firm on his beliefs and opinions (Vague - but finding your best self on a date, takes many dates to figure out). It's just certainly not a guy who a girl can have a nice friendly chat with.

...

Is she worth it?

Personally I'd skip her entirely and count her as a loss.

But that depends how sure you are about it.

Physical and verbal escalation is also about testing the girl. How does she respond to your advances?

If she responds poorly often. Then you can safely assume, she's not feeling it with you.

Your not looking for super receptiveness for your touches or things like that. You're just looking for a lack of repulsion.

Now, be super super mindful of what youre doing and not making her do anything she doesn't want.

You'll get better at this in time.

...

About the bumble girl:


Ya until you have maybe like 8 or 10 lays, and you know you can get with girls from online consistently.


Lower your standards to get the experience in.


My standards started were low as dirt.
And thanks to some of the guys on this forum for telling me to do that. And Chris's advice was useful too.


Now they're pretty high. I raised them over time.

Very easy, its literally just a straight line back to my place, time will go by quick enough if we talk.

I made up my mind, I will go on the date, escalate a little bit just for the practice. I will take your advice though, if she aint feeling it, its a lost cause.

That is what happened with the first girl. She was fine with me touching her and her hair but didn't like seem super enthused. Just chill.

As long as I stay away from porn keeping my standards lower is a bit easier. The only issue I am having though is these apps keep feeding me super hot girls I want to fuck but probably aren't taking the apps seriously, or are just insta left swiping me.

Currently my standards are if she at least has a few attractive features, basically I wanna be able to fuck her without feeling much shame in at least a few positions, like if her body nice but her face ain't doggy is a good way to go, and if the opposite maybe missionary. In summary at least a low 5.

 

[Antonio44]

That is what happened with the first girl. She was fine with me touching her and her hair but didn't like seem super enthused. Just chill.

Some girls are just like this, very passive, they never give any resistance but also never any positive either! If no negative, just assume she likes it and continue.

Edit - negatives don't need to be verbal - like if she actively moves herself away, or moves your hand away or whatever, then of course stop. But if no negative, assume she's into it.

 

[Foducossy]

Why didn't you kiss? Did you try to? Were you waiting for her signal? Some girls don't give strong signals. You may just have to go for it. Mystery's Kiss Close is handy sometimes. I don't use it anymore but it was useful back in the day.



Just tell her it's a low stakes vibe check as you are meeting up in person for the first time. When a girl says she won't sleep with you, just say "that's fine" or if you want to be a bit more gamey and high energy you can disagree and amplify/chase frame like "Get your mind out of the gutter, I didn't even mention anything about sleeping with you". Don't do the latter over text unless the interaction is very fluid fun flirty.

Either way you're going to want to try to sleep with her on the first date. You most likely won't, but you have to try so that the girl knows you're a sexual threat.

However, I would say if you have really very very little experience going on dates, and you are having trouble with escalating confidently (kino and stuff), you should go ahead and go for dates that will go nowhere (e.g. where logistics are poor). It does mean nothing will happen on the first date, but you will get the practice, especially if you're struggling to get matches and need more practice on dates, you should capitalise on whatever opportunities you have to go on a date. And who knows, maybe you'll get a second or third date that will lead to a lay. You should still try to follow Manga's advice about location logistics, but if you're inexperienced with dating then having a few dates as practice won't hurt. You can practice flirting, kino, eye contact etc. I came from a very sexually repressed childhood so going on many dates was very helpful for me. I used to find it soooo difficult to even break the touch barrier on a date. It took me a good number of dates to finally do so and do so more quickly. I came up with strategies such as leading her by the small of her back while crossing the street, as a simple but effective way to begin kino, or practiced things like touching her earrings and rings and asking about them. I naturally do not have strong eye contact so I had to work on this quite intentionally as well. Heck, I was also worried to even say "let's go back to my place and hang out", let alone coming up with pull reasons, seeding the pull etc. I needed practice just saying that because I was worried the girl would think I wanted to have sex with her (though that is actually the goal in saying "let's go back to my place"!!). These are all elements you can get better at by going on a date, even if your logistics are not perfect because the girl insisted on meeting in the middle rather than near your place.

Even now I have poor logistics. I manage it by handling other aspects of logistics (being more careful about timings, starting the date earlier to give time for the pull.)

Here you can see my dates across the years. Note the long dry streaks earlier on when I was inexperienced. I got friendzoned many times. And yes it appears that I did sleep with my fifth online date, but this doesn't include maybe 3 online dates I had before I started tracking. (I may go back and retrospectively add those...) That lay came from 2 friendly dates ending with a kiss, and on the third she just came over.

Screenshot 2023-10-16 at 12.35.30 pm.png

Didn't kiss because I was too afraid of her not being into it and calling coercion or whatever. Was not waiting for a signal, more so that she just seemed into it enough. Thing was she did initially say she didn't want to get touchy, but I thought it was cuz she was afraid my roommates could be awake, but I told her they sleep early so thats no issue since she said that initially. She said cool so we went back to mines, thinking Ill finally get laid.

When I got her back to my place she asked me "so what do you want to do", tried to play it cool but she saw through my bullshit so I said "make out" cuz I am not experienced in this area at all. She said no, so I said okay how bout a kiss and she also said no. I think her reasoning was being religious and stuff, also not generally being the hookup type.

Basically 90% of my mistakes and problems in this scenario came from the fact I have no experience.

That is fair, tbh its good to have practice on the average girls so if I fuck up it is not the largest deal, and once I get good, the hotter girls would be easier-ish.

I did listen to his advice on logistics, problem is the 5 minute places have awful food so that could piss her off and ruin my chances. The 10 minute places have decent boba/coffee at least, also they are literally down the street from my place, no turns needed. I try to keep the dates around 6-7, cuz getting laid may be easier since its not too late so she doesn't feel unsafe and it makes sense to go home around that time.

I didn't have any experience with girls growing up either due to being on the spectrum, plus my parents never gave me good dating advice since they were each other's first. I had to rely on others and from that gained some amazing, good, bad, and horrid advice.

I am not gonna meet in the middle unless the girl is really hot tbh, even then I may try to meet as close to me as possible.

Uh yeah definitely don’t kiss in this instance. Learn Mystery’s Kiss Close though, if you’re going to verbalise wanting to kiss before you do, it is better than you saying you want to make out.

But in this case the girl gave a clear no. You couldn’t kiss her then, but you could have kinoed more and then maybe she’d have kissed you. You just didn’t increase her buying temperature.

Logistics — yeah seems like you live in a uni town. I had perfect logistics back then too. Good on ya. Also smart to start the date early, as a newbie you will need more time to build attraction, and you’ll probably be starting out with an emotional connection first. That takes time. Seems like you’ve got this aspect handled tbh, kudos.

I also read somewhere else about you thinking about positioning yourself near the girl on a couch for kino. So again you are on the right track.

Just keep it up and work on your kino, eye contact and stuff with each date. Note that sitting next to her means very poor eye contact, but very good kino. This is not ideal, but you can maximise the kino to replace the poor eye contact.

 

[G.N]

That is what happened with the first girl. She was fine with me touching her and her hair but didn't like seem super enthused. Just chill.

Some girls are just like this, very passive, they never give any resistance but also never any positive either! If no negative, just assume she likes it and continue.

Edit - negatives don't need to be verbal - like if she actively moves herself away, or moves your hand away or whatever, then of course stop. But if no negative, assume she's into it.

Now it is just a matter of not overthinking it. And thats very true that most negatives are not verbal, luckily even for my autistic ass this is easy to read.

 

[Squilliam]

Ya until you have maybe like 8 or 10 lays, and you know you can get with girls from online consistently.


Lower your standards to get the experience in.


My standards started were low as dirt.
And thanks to some of the guys on this forum for telling me to do that. And Chris's advice was useful too.


Now they're pretty high. I raised them over time.

I agree with this. I'm at 11 and I'm at the point where I just don't want to fuck random girls for the sake of it anymore. I want to have fun. But when you're a virgin or only have a few lays, it is worth it to lower your standards a bit to gain more experience. But in my experience, once you do fuck even a moderately hot girl, you won't want to go back to below average girls.

 

[kratjeuh]

Just keep it up and work on your kino, eye contact and stuff with each date. Note that sitting next to her means very poor eye contact, but very good kino. This is not ideal, but you can maximise the kino to replace the poor eye contact

If possible, pick a table with only 3 seats and take the middle one. The 45 degree angle is good for eye contact and legs touching, you can also touch her tights or shoulders when making a joke.
If you think she’s attracted enough, find an excuse to show her something on your phone and move your chair next to hers (this would be a weird move if you sat across but now it’s cool). Perfect moment for more touch and to kiss her after prolonged eye contact

 

[G.N]

Ya until you have maybe like 8 or 10 lays, and you know you can get with girls from online consistently.


Lower your standards to get the experience in.


My standards started were low as dirt.
And thanks to some of the guys on this forum for telling me to do that. And Chris's advice was useful too.


Now they're pretty high. I raised them over time.

I agree with this. I'm at 11 and I'm at the point where I just don't want to fuck random girls for the sake of it anymore. I want to have fun. But when you're a virgin or only have a few lays, it is worth it to lower your standards a bit to gain more experience. But in my experience, once you do fuck even a moderately hot girl, you won't want to go back to below average girls.

Yeah, the main issue I am having right now is the apps bombarding me with hot girls who probably aren't even looking for my "archetype" and my matches not being great quality just dents my ego a slight bit but I am fighting it anyways since some pussy would probably feel better than using my hand for the bajillionth night in a row. Plus I would probably feel less anxious trying stuff in the bedroom.

This could just be a huge cope but I am telling myself how much it would suck if I did score a date w/ a 8+ but completely fumbled because I gave off friend vibes or lost my composure. I would take forever to stop beating myself up. So in the meantime Id rather get some experience so when a hot girl does come around I most likely DONT fuck it up.

 

[G.N]

Just keep it up and work on your kino, eye contact and stuff with each date. Note that sitting next to her means very poor eye contact, but very good kino. This is not ideal, but you can maximise the kino to replace the poor eye contact

If possible, pick a table with only 3 seats and take the middle one. The 45 degree angle is good for eye contact and legs touching, you can also touch her tights or shoulders when making a joke.
If you think she’s attracted enough, find an excuse to show her something on your phone and move your chair next to hers (this would be a weird move if you sat across but now it’s cool). Perfect moment for more touch and to kiss her after prolonged eye contact

Good idea. I did that at the dance party where during the dance I would try to bring my body closer to her. Then once she tired out a bit, I would sit next to her and do that phone thing.

 

[Squilliam]

Yeah, the main issue I am having right now is the apps bombarding me with hot girls and my matches not being super hot just dents my ego a slight bit but I am fighting it anyways since some pussy would probably feel better than using my hand for the bajillionth night in a row.

This could just be a huge cope but I am telling myself how much it would suck if I did score a date w/ a 8+ but completely fumbled because I gave off friend vibes or lost my composure. I would take forever to stop beating myself up. So in the meantime Id rather get some experience so when a hot girl does come around I most likely DONT fuck it up.

I prefer my hand to bad/subpar sex honestly. But that's probably because I have a problem with compulsive masturbation, plus most of the chicks I banged really were not that hot.

Also, I don't think the process to getting with a hotter girl is necessarily any different from a less attractive girl. I think what differs is that you need to provide more value the hotter she is. Whether that's looks, status, vibe, etc.

 

[G.N]

Yeah, the main issue I am having right now is the apps bombarding me with hot girls and my matches not being super hot just dents my ego a slight bit but I am fighting it anyways since some pussy would probably feel better than using my hand for the bajillionth night in a row.

This could just be a huge cope but I am telling myself how much it would suck if I did score a date w/ a 8+ but completely fumbled because I gave off friend vibes or lost my composure. I would take forever to stop beating myself up. So in the meantime Id rather get some experience so when a hot girl does come around I most likely DONT fuck it up.

I prefer my hand to bad/subpar sex honestly. But that's probably because I have a problem with compulsive masturbation, plus most of the chicks I banged really were not that hot.

Also, I don't think the process to getting with a hotter girl is necessarily any different from a less attractive girl. I think what differs is that you need to provide more value the hotter she is. Whether that's looks, status, vibe, etc.

I used to have some fleshlights but I got rid of them since they made me too complacent, even that is better. I am also kinda fighting some "blackpill" thoughts that my race puts a cap on how hot the girls I can get are due to my pool. My pool is like 95% white girls and they are the least open minded to interracial dating. A lot strike me as country girls, or just from there so even if they wanted to date me their dad would probably point a loaded 12 gauge at my face.

Thats pretty much a given, the hot girls got 10x the options of the average girls so you really gotta stand out. I think with who I am I can do that since most guys can't cook well or dance, but I gotta level up my looks more.

 

[Squilliam]

I used to have some fleshlights but I got rid of them since they made me too complacent, even that is better. I am also kinda fighting some "blackpill" thoughts that my race puts a cap on how hot the girls I can get are due to my pool. My pool is like 95% white girls and they are the least open minded to interracial dating. A lot strike me as country girls, or just from there so even if they wanted to date me their dad would probably point a loaded 12 gauge at my face.

Thats pretty much a given, the hot girls got 10x the options of the average girls so you really gotta stand out. I think with who I am I can do that since most guys can't cook well or dance, but I gotta level up my looks more.

You seem like a decent looking dude. The racepill is definitely real but as a white guy I really can't give much advice on that.

I take it you live in the south or the midwest? I would agree that girls in those regions are going to be less open minded to interracial dating.

I think you should consider moving elsewhere when you're done with college. Where I live, in NYC for example, interracial couples are really common. I don't know what kinds of girls do best with your race/archetype, but you look middle eastern to me.

Blackpill thoughts will fuck with most of us from time to time.

But here's the other side of it. Yeah, the blackpill sucks and can stop you from getting results. But it's easy to forget that it also can help you, assuming you're good looking enough. Which I think you are. I think you're better looking than me honestly, but then again we have very different archetype, I look like some artsy gay guy now, whereas you're some jacked normal looking guy.

Outside of NYC, I'd get probably a fair bit worse results. The archetypes that are desirable are strongly dependent on the region.

But I guess maybe switching location is something worth considering.

 

[G.N]

I used to have some fleshlights but I got rid of them since they made me too complacent, even that is better. I am also kinda fighting some "blackpill" thoughts that my race puts a cap on how hot the girls I can get are due to my pool. My pool is like 95% white girls and they are the least open minded to interracial dating. A lot strike me as country girls, or just from there so even if they wanted to date me their dad would probably point a loaded 12 gauge at my face.

Thats pretty much a given, the hot girls got 10x the options of the average girls so you really gotta stand out. I think with who I am I can do that since most guys can't cook well or dance, but I gotta level up my looks more.

You seem like a decent looking dude. The racepill is definitely real but as a white guy I really can't give much advice on that.

I take it you live in the south or the midwest? I would agree that girls in those regions are going to be less open minded to interracial dating.

I think you should consider moving elsewhere when you're done with college. Where I live, in NYC for example, interracial couples are really common. I don't know what kinds of girls do best with your race/archetype, but you look middle eastern to me.

Blackpill thoughts will fuck with most of us from time to time.

But here's the other side of it. Yeah, the blackpill sucks and can stop you from getting results. But it's easy to forget that it also can help you, assuming you're good looking enough. Which I think you are. I think you're better looking than me honestly, but then again we have very different archetype, I look like some artsy gay guy now, whereas you're some jacked normal looking guy.

Outside of NYC, I'd get probably a fair bit worse results. The archetypes that are desirable are strongly dependent on the region.

But I guess maybe switching location is something worth considering.

Yeah I think in terms of appearance I am above average. I think racepill really depends on area because my brother is in California and he does really well with getting cute girls into him, hell if anything he says he attracts more non-asian girls but encounters issues due to his mental health. He is also 5ft 6.

Even then besides a little internalized white-supremacy I thought a lot of asian guys were undesirable cuz most from my observation can't dress for shit, horribly groomed, barely social, had no hobbies outside of gaming, etc.

Midwest, I like being here because people are much friendlier than they are on the west coast. I came here because I felt super bitter after high school and wanted to be far away from that academic hellhole. I hated a lot of the people I was around because they all were super pretentious and thought they were better than everyone else for academic reasons. The people here don't judge me for not being the smartest in the room and don't stereotype me as being nerdy either. I felt like back then I had to fit in a box.

Unfortunately all this doesn't mean its great for dating. Yeah the girls are nice but they aren't as open minded. I am definitely going back to California once college is done. I am Indian/Middle Eastern. I think from here on out it would be best to live in racially diverse cities.

It seems the archetype the average woman here goes for is a white guy who is at least kinda lean, about 5ft 10-6ft 3 tall, somewhat country/city boy, etc.

My archetype is more so reserved but also social guy who likes food I guess. I got no idea. I am kinda lean minus the gyno, about 5ft 11, and a suburbs kid lol.

Usually every other race of women is much more open minded to interracial dating except white women, which is fine cuz I don't care about race as long as she's attractive, good personality, and has a nice ass lol (besides, black women and latinas have the best asses I have ever seen, this is literal fact).

Appreciate the compliment lol, but your physique is better than mine. Gyno is a bad nerf, but hopefully I can get surgery set up.

On another note, I do know a couple of white girls who I haven't spoken to in a good minute. Maybe I can ask them for some feedback? Only issue is both (or at least one) are dating guys who fit the archetype for Midwest guy I mentioned above, so who knows how useful it is. Can't hurt though. I asked like one white girl and one half white girl amongst a few other girls and they both told me they liked my cooking photo and my reading one because I looked relaxed. Only issue is one of them who I found hotter didn't give me anything to improve on, she just said she liked all my photos even when I asked what I can do better.

 

[Foducossy]

Thats pretty much a given, the hot girls got 10x the options of the average girls so you really gotta stand out. I think with who I am I can do that since most guys can't cook well or dance, but I gotta level up my looks more.

It’s all about photos on the apps first. That gets you matches.

Use Faceapp and make your face more masculine, tweak the expression etc.

Your bio and texting will then help convert those matches into dates.

So the cooking and dance has to be part of your photo lineup. It’s hard to get a solid hobby pic. I was very lucky to have professional photographers at my running event and I ended up with an incredible running photo that is a very major part of my lineup now.

Also: hand felt better than pussy for me for a while, my dick was too used to the deathgrip. When sex became more regular I started to get used to the softer sensations during sex. Your mileage may vary.

I expect you’ll get laid within the next 3 months. That’s not too long. You’ll be fine just keep grinding and trust the process.

On racepill: yeah it’s a problem, take it from me. I have to work a lot harder to get the same attention a random dude has just for not having the ability to tan. And this is despite very good facial aesthetics. So yes you’re gonna face problems. Even in a city like London tbh. Squilliam what are your thoughts on brown guys in NYC? I haven’t been on the dating scene there yet.

GN44, One thing that helped me is understanding that SMV is made up of many things. On a 10 point scale you can go up 1-1.5 points by dressing fashionably. And from your current physique if you improve to the point of being very muscular and lean, you can go up another 2 points. So at least 3 points are within your control. You can go from a 5 to a very respectable 8. 8s are very hot and you will be very happy banging 8s.

Having a cool job and working on your career can add another 2 points, though this is harder to show on the hookup apps and doesn’t really matter there. But I assure you, I kill it on Hinge because I’m very successful — I’m pretty much a 9 there from my estimates. So it depends on the environment (ie which dating app, what context).

But my point is… you have a lot of things within your control. Good on you for trying to sort gyno. And with gym for the next 3 years you can keep getting hotter and hotter. My SMV is higher now than it was 5 years ago because I’m lean and fit now whereas I was not before. And it makes a difference. I can however still be much hotter and this is really the last frontier for me: getting those 2 extra points for being muscular, which will take me a few years.

And of course your SMV is affected by location, being in NYC will probably see your SMV go up by a point just like that. California is probably good too — I once dated a Californian white girl who actually had a thing for brown guys.