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Jamgoth's New Progress log - actually striking up the balls to talk to women
- Thread starter Jamgoth
- Start date
- Joined
- Nov 14, 2021
- Goal
- Master daygame
- Age
- 34
Jamgoth said:
That's one idea. Zug provided a framework above.
The most powerful way is non-verbally, but that's harder at your level.
Jamgoth
Member
- Joined
- Jul 30, 2022
Alright so I went to the orientation (I do have some responsibilities after all). I met up with the people in my program and hung out with them all day. It's maybe 90% Chinese people but otherwise a pretty even split between boys and girls. I started talking to the best looking Chinese girl there (although that's not saying much, pretty much every girl ranged from 3-5, and she was a 6, but for now a 6 is probably above my league. There was one Indian girl who was very attractive but she's taken so I'm not even going to try). Even though we were in a group the Chinese girl and I ended up talking to each other a lot. Once I realized how receptive she was to me, I did try to make things man to woman as best I could. At one point she joked about blending in with the incoming undergrad freshman, so I told her, no you don't look like a little girl, you look like a woman. Later we started talking about what dating is like as a teenager in China v US. I gave a very general portrait of dating in high school, I'm NOT going to tell her I'm some loser who lost his virginity at 29. So, I tried to discuss topics of this nature, but obviously due to the setting I had to err on the side of caution when it came to how audacious I was. I can't just go up to my colleague and be like "holy shit you're hot" because I did not want to come off as socially uncalibrated and piss off everyone in my program on my first day of knowing them, I've done this in the past and I'm not repeating that mistake. The group went out to dinner, I ordered one drink. She took it to sniff it and I signaled for her to take a sip but she refused. But, overall she seemed to be receptive to me, laughed at my jokes etc.
There's a special orientation for international students. She invited me to it, but I can't go because I'm American. I'll literally get stopped at the door if I go. The fact that she's inviting me to things is a good thing, but the fact that it's a boring school event is not. My guess is she sees me as a friend and not a potential partner but not sure. I'm going to try to ask her out soon.
There's a special orientation for international students. She invited me to it, but I can't go because I'm American. I'll literally get stopped at the door if I go. The fact that she's inviting me to things is a good thing, but the fact that it's a boring school event is not. My guess is she sees me as a friend and not a potential partner but not sure. I'm going to try to ask her out soon.
- Joined
- Nov 14, 2021
- Goal
- Master daygame
- Age
- 34
Jamgoth said:
Can we see the screenshot if it's over text, or if in person, can you provide detailed description of the interaction including lead-up, body language, and every single word exchanged?
Jamgoth
Member
- Joined
- Jul 30, 2022
pancakemouse said:
Context, she invited me to a school event in person last time we met.
I don't think this is 100% a loss. She is responsive in conversation, but I also don't wanna be that guy who goes "can we meet up" on a daily basis and can't take a hint. I don't think talking to other women is necessarily bad either way. Maybe I'll see how she seems in person. But for now her tone is friendly not flirty
I'll resubmit once photos are edited
hyrtsmyrts
Member
- Joined
- Aug 4, 2021
- Name
- Eljas
- Goal
- Zen
- Age
- 30
Jamgoth said:
How about you tell her that. "Boooring. Let's change subject". Or just cut her while she's talking about her work or stupid boss or bitchy friend. Interrupt her and say "hey do you remember the time when ..." or "hey why don't you tell me about ..." or "wanna hear something?"
You're not her bitch. You don't have to submit to listening to her bullshit for hours. If she's boring you get on top of the situation by teasing her a bit with it. Then she starts validating herself to you and tries her best to find some interesting topics.
Zug
Member
- Joined
- Dec 7, 2021
You're showing too much attention to things you shouldn't be. Don't reward pointless stories unless she is telling it to you because she is reaching out and socially inept. Reward actual investment. You don't give a single fuck about someone attending an orientation, there's not even plausible deniability. You realize this, this is why you didn't ask her about her Ikea furniture.
I'm not advocating being Machiavellian, show interest when she opens up or invests physically/emotionally/intellectually and reward it. When you get shared pointless stuff make a quick joke or use any other means to segue into meaningful conversation.
If there's no active conversation threads worth pursuing, you can go to callbacks or make a clickbait statements.
Conversations to nowhere are both boring and low value.
This girls texting is horrible also, constant lol and haha on every statement. She screams time waster to me. That doesn't make her a bad person, just means focus elsewhere.
I'm not advocating being Machiavellian, show interest when she opens up or invests physically/emotionally/intellectually and reward it. When you get shared pointless stuff make a quick joke or use any other means to segue into meaningful conversation.
If there's no active conversation threads worth pursuing, you can go to callbacks or make a clickbait statements.
Conversations to nowhere are both boring and low value.
This girls texting is horrible also, constant lol and haha on every statement. She screams time waster to me. That doesn't make her a bad person, just means focus elsewhere.
Zug
Member
- Joined
- Dec 7, 2021
After her message that its about maintaining legal status you need to segue then go for a preclose/close.
"If you're trying to marry me for citizenship, we should start with drinks sometime soon"
This girl sounds like she's just a time waster though. I don't see her agreeing to a date unless its last minute and she's bored.
"If you're trying to marry me for citizenship, we should start with drinks sometime soon"
This girl sounds like she's just a time waster though. I don't see her agreeing to a date unless its last minute and she's bored.
- Joined
- Nov 14, 2021
- Goal
- Master daygame
- Age
- 34
Jamgoth said:Like I said, she seems friendly but not super interested to meet up
First part is not great, second part gets better but mostly because she is being more fun and brings you into her fun. Should be the other way around.
"I guess I won't be seeing you at the breakfast" -> NEEDY, so we FLIP -> "I guess I won't be gracing you with my presence at the breakfast ;-)"
"Guess I won't be able to keep you company" -> NEEDY, just delete all together
"It would have been nice to see you again" -> NEEDY, CLINGY, do not send shit like this unless you've already slept with a girl
I think she could still be potentially interested, but you've basically scared her off with your needy texting and (probably) behavior. Focus on other leads for now.
- Joined
- Nov 14, 2021
- Goal
- Master daygame
- Age
- 34
Jamgoth said:
Good sign. Remember, always keep your conversations about FUN and even EMOTIONAL topics and not logical ones. Don't let her use you as an orientation buddy.
Jamgoth
Member
- Joined
- Jul 30, 2022
This girl is still initiating text, but it's about boring stuff. Attempts to stear the conversation to more fun topics have been met with resistance. I'm sure I'm not graceful about it. But for now I think it's best to see this avenue as closed off and stop pursuing her. PancakeMouse is right, she sees me as an orientation buddy and not a partner. Oh well.