Jamgoth's New Progress log - actually striking up the balls to talk to women

[Jamgoth]

I have very bad body dysmorphia. My friends tell me I look fine, and that I've also improved my looks from a year ago, but I still think I look gross whenever I look in the mirror. I'm doing everything I can to looksmax and I realize a lot of this is psychological not physical.

From someone who's been there, unfortunately, it's best to take your friend's advice with a grain of salt. Unfortunately, most people will tell you what you want to hear, so they don't hurt your feelings. Also, they'll naturally be biased because, well, they're your friends.

When I posted my pictures here, everyone was quick to remove the blindfolds and tell me I still had a lot of work ahead of me.

I think it could be helpful to post some pictures of you in both flattering/unflattering angles and request feedback from the community here.

Other than putting on muscle, which I'm in the process of, I don't know what else I can do to look better.

 

[loki]

From looking at your pics I feel you'd be better served right now cutting to lose fat than building muscle. Especially since you have goth/alt archetype where being a thin muscleless twink is more in. Tho ofc muscle still helps. But basically you should cut and then bulk.

By the way, just want to say I appreciate the overall self improvement you're going through - you're very consistent at making progress, trying out risks, and asking for and implementing feedback. Looking forward to your success

 

[natedawg]

Other than putting on muscle, which I'm in the process of, I don't know what else I can do to look better.

No worries - Throw some pictures up and see if the rest of the community agrees.

 

[Antonio44]

I have very bad body dysmorphia. My friends tell me I look fine, and that I've also improved my looks from a year ago, but I still think I look gross whenever I look in the mirror. I'm doing everything I can to looksmax and I realize a lot of this is psychological not physical.

From someone who's been there, unfortunately, it's best to take your friend's advice with a grain of salt. Unfortunately, most people will tell you what you want to hear, so they don't hurt your feelings. Also, they'll naturally be biased because, well, they're your friends.

When I posted my pictures here, everyone was quick to remove the blindfolds and tell me I still had a lot of work ahead of me.

I think it could be helpful to post some pictures of you in both flattering/unflattering angles and request feedback from the community here.

I think there's two different "views" you need of yourself, the emotional and rational, and they can be seperated. I'm in pretty typical shape, I've been in worse shape than I am now, and I've been in better.


In my emotional head: I think I look fucking amazing. Like anyone would be so lucky to fuck me. Get this POV. I used to feel a bit insecure and avoid looking at myself in the mirror etc, then I just started doing it anyways and looking at the parts I liked best, like "oh yeah, my arms are nice and vascular (for example)", while ignoring the bits I didn't like. Being kinder to myself and after a while, I started to actually believe it. It's self-delusional, sure, but being secure in how you look is highly attractive. If I gain 50lb, I'll still keep deluding my emotional self - I'll just reframe it as "I look strong chubby rugby lad" or whatever. I got my first few grey hairs a few years ago - I tell myself now I'm getting more silver fox-y and hotter.


In my rational head: I know there's lots of things I can improve. This is useful as it leads to improvement - but it doesn't tie to my self-worth.

 

[Jamgoth]

Other than putting on muscle, which I'm in the process of, I don't know what else I can do to look better.

No worries - Throw some pictures up and see if the rest of the community agrees.

Very low effort selfie. I'm not doing any posing or anything so I realize it's not a great photo of me but its the most recent I have. I've toned down the goth look so I still come across as alt but without seeming try-hard about it. I replaced one of my leather armbands with a silver bracelet and got rid of the pants chain. The main thing I'm trying to do to looksmax is put on muscle. I know September recommended a cut but for now I'm going to continue my plan of bulking to 170lbs then cutting to sub 10% bf. I'm also taking Beta carotene daily to try to get a tan without damaging my skin by suntanning. Also chewing gum and mewing to increase jawline. And doing stretches to fix anterior pelvic tilt. And I need to learn how to get the frizz down with my hair but for now I think I'll keep the long wavy slightly wild look. Basically I'm still a work in progress, but I do think I look more masculine than a year ago (see first post)

 

[pancakemouse]

The look is pretty cool. Though a black undershirt under a black button down is not ideal.

Either grow a real beard/stubble or shave your goatee down more. Goatees contribute to your dated look.

The number one problem, though, is you just kinda look like a blob. There's no point in doing jaw stuff, your jaw is clearly covered by fat.

I think you should cut right away. You're skinnyfat but it fits your archetype better to be lean now instead of bulking first.

Beta-carotene caused my skin to become red and dry as a side effect - watch out for that. Ended up using melanotan 2 instead and am way happier with that.

 

[Jamgoth]

Not to argue but I think the blob look in previous pic is just a bad pose, my face kinda scrunched up. If I lean forward and jut my jaw forward I don't think there is a terrible amount of fat on my face. Every scan I've done puts me at at most 15% bf. Obviously it could be better but I don't think a BMI of 22 and 15% bf counts as skinnyfat, just average.

 

[loki]

Even with the better pose you have a lotttttttt of visible buccal fat for a 29 year old.

It doesn't matter what the numbers say. Beyond the fact that even DEXA scans are still fundamentally inaccurate - are the girls gonna fuck you based on your numbers or based on what you look like? are they gonna ask for your bmi and hear 22 and be like ok - guess you're good to go, I'll ignore what my lying eyes tell me. are you gonna lean in and jut your jaw out forward 100% of the time you're in set?

btw even if you really are 15% bf and bmi 22 - some people are just cucked with fat distribution - or potentially you have verrrry little muscle. so maybe you have to cut to a lower bmi/bf% than others do to get the same visual effect. sucks, but it is what it is, and it's the visual leanness that gets you the lays.



btw overall you're very cute and would actually fucking slay in nyc once you got leaner. like, you have "the look"

 

[Jamgoth]

Even with the better pose you have a lotttttttt of visible buccal fat for a 29 year old.

It doesn't matter what the numbers say. Beyond the fact that even DEXA scans are still fundamentally inaccurate - are the girls gonna fuck you based on your numbers or based on what you look like? are they gonna ask for your bmi and hear 22 and be like ok - guess you're good to go, I'll ignore what my lying eyes tell me. are you gonna lean in and jut your jaw out forward 100% of the time you're in set?

btw even if you really are 15% bf and bmi 22 - some people are just cucked with fat distribution - or potentially you have verrrry little muscle. so maybe you have to cut to a lower bmi/bf% than others do to get the same visual effect. sucks, but it is what it is, and it's the visual leanness that gets you the lays.



btw overall you're very cute and would actually fucking slay in nyc once you got leaner. like, you have "the look"

Alright, fair

 

[Bman]

On the facial hair front, how does the hair naturally come in along your jaw line?

I think you would do well with a chin strap. With the correct shaping, it could square out your face which will quickly help define your jaw more until you lean out some.


View attachment 1


I particularly like the "natural" look (above) rather than hard edges (below). But who gives a fuck what I like. Test them out and see what you like AND what women respond to.





I'd also recommend a stache to define your lips more, though this would second to a chin strap.

 

[Jamgoth]

On the facial hair front, how does the hair naturally come in along your jaw line?

I think you would do well with a chin strap. With the correct shaping, it could square out your face which will quickly help define your jaw more until you lean out some.


The-Toughest-Chin-Strap-There-is.jpg


I particularly like the "natural" look (above) rather than hard edges (below). But who gives a fuck what I like. Test them out and see what you like AND what women respond to.


45c8f30025527de989868e00262746e2.jpg


I'd also recommend a stache to define your lips more, though this would second to a chin strap.

How would I achieve the "Natural" look. Like, How would I shave it so it doesn't seem so artificial

 

[Bman]

View attachment 2


A lot of beard recommendations will tell you to shave to where your beard line is fullest. However if Mr.Chad in this photo shaved to that point, as shown by the red line, he would have a thin chin strap. Those look tacky for white men IMO.

So instead you shave to the blue line, where it still has about 40-70% fill. It gives a more edgy, rugged look that goes well with long hair.

Here is how I personally do it. I've grown my beard for a long time and the patches have filled in, so the space between the red and blue line is much closer. However, you see I still leave some natural growth to the edge.


View attachment 1

From your stubble patterns in this picture, this is an estimate of where that line may fall for you.

 

[Jamgoth]

Shave Pattern.jpg


A lot of beard recommendations will tell you to shave to where your beard line is fullest. However if Mr.Chad in this photo shaved to that point, as shown by the red line, he would have a thin chin strap. Those look tacky for white men IMO.

So instead you shave to the blue line, where it still has about 40-70% fill. It gives a more edgy, rugged look that goes well with long hair.

Here is how I personally do it. I've grown my beard for a long time and the patches have filled in, so the space between the red and blue line is much closer. However, you see I still leave some natural growth to the edge.


Colored Lines.jpg

From your stubble patterns in this picture, this is an estimate of where that line may fall for you.


Shave Lines.jpg

Okay, and how do I trim it so it's not too long but still keeps that "natural" look?

 

[Bman]

Either use scissors or a guard for your trimmer at the length you want the hair. The men in these videos have full beards, but the trimming concepts still apply.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=deD9FOxMsnk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m3IA33HtQMQ

 

[Jamgoth]

Either use scissors or a guard for your trimmer at the length you want the hair. The men in these videos have full beards, but the trimming concepts still apply.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=deD9FOxMsnk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m3IA33HtQMQ

Thank you. And as for what everyone says about the cutting... I'm going to cut out alcohol and see if that makes a difference in my face. Will update by the end of September (the month) and you all can see if there is a difference.

 

[Jamgoth]

Also, if anyone is curious what my physique looks like

Like I said, I think it falls in the "average" range rather than skinnyfat. I do have some muscle definition but also some fat, but both I'm working on. My chest portudes more than my belly while flexing although not by very much, have some shoulder but not very much. I have a V taper but love handles too

 

[Rice]

You are pretty much the same as I was earlier this year. I didn't think I had much fat either until I cut and noticed I looked way better.

Good news is you are not actually skinny fat, you just looked really bad in that one pool photo. Bad news is, you might need to commit to cutting or bulking explicitly as noobie gains might be done.

 

[loki]

I still vote cut.

The good news is like Rice is saying - you actually do have muscle. So you're not gonna be auschwitz mode if you cut.
The bad news is all the fat in your body goes to your face. So you do actually need to cut.

 

[Jamgoth]

Good news is you are not actually skinny fat, you just looked really bad in that one pool photo.

Haha fair.

Also, I really need to learn how to pose for photos. I'm always super awkward and never know what to do with my body or face or hands. Oh well one thing at a time

I still vote cut.

The good news is like Rice is saying - you actually do have muscle. So you're not gonna be auschwitz mode if you cut.
The bad news is all the fat in your body goes to your face. So you do actually need to cut.

I think I just drink too much and that makes my face bloated. Let me quit drinking for a month and see if that makes a difference.

 

[pancakemouse]

Good news is you are not actually skinny fat, you just looked really bad in that one pool photo.

Haha fair.

Also, I really need to learn how to pose for photos. I'm always super awkward and never know what to do with my body or face or hands. Oh well one thing at a time

I still vote cut.

The good news is like Rice is saying - you actually do have muscle. So you're not gonna be auschwitz mode if you cut.
The bad news is all the fat in your body goes to your face. So you do actually need to cut.

I think I just drink too much and that makes my face bloated. Let me quit drinking for a month and see if that makes a difference.

Doubt it will make a difference. Get yourself in a calorie deficit immediately.

Leanpill is everything. You have a good amount of muscle mass already. Gotta take the blow to the ego and lose bodyfat.