Well done for realising you're having a panic attack. I can actually tell from how you wrote the above posts you were having panic attacks. I have had maybe over 500k in my life. Not in the last 2 years tho, since I began to truly and deeply heal.
You are obviously going through a lot of stress, and panic is tearing through your brain and distorting your world to make you miserable. Like a demon that haunts you day and night, I truly think panic and anxiety are some of the evilest conditions that can afflict a person and how they restrict a person's world is scary, it becomes a game of contracting circles. Right now, focus purely on calming your brain using diversion for 1 week. Don't worry about the rest, just do diversion for 1 week and let the brain settle down. Yes, you'll think "it's not working!!!11" I freaked out a tonne too because my body was full of adrenaline and cortisol. But stick at it no matter the brain generated bullshit. More on that below.
Yes, you're 26. At 26 I was still quite fucked up, but I was doing the work to get better EVERY SINGLE DAY.
In my opinion, you have not realised how hard change is going to be. Many people I know tell me I work hard. I began working at 11 years old (5 paper routes), had 2 jobs at 16, worked throughout University, and in this life I stood on my own feet no matter the shitstorm that came my way. But that was NOTHING compared to changing oneself. That is when the real fight begins.
You give up too easily. I don't see real, true, bone-crunching, sadistic, psychotic, David Goggins level effort here. It has to make other people think "Dude, you are obsessed wtf is wrong with you?". When people come in my room and I'm working and air them, they think I'm weird. I'm building something, and I am gonna bleed for it, so my life becomes an elite one.
Even when you are totally defeated, you must press onwards in total agony if needs be. Did you print out that post I sent to you? If not, do it, read it daily. No judgement. I tried to help another guy out the gutter, a guy who was also suffering like I was at the time I was, we were trying to help each other actually and talked a lot on WhatsApp, but he was so so slow with it man I started working and building my career up years ago he couldn't even begin that, he just recently started doing volunteer work. He just sat back and pissed many valuable years by. You can give these guys the exact road map and they won't do shit because they don't want it. But with you, you are in extreme pain. This is when you can make your promise to yourself and let God be your witness, in the dungeon, in the pits of Hell is where man can make the final decision: "No more".
I printed out and read the information I found which worked many times. Even when you feel awful, you must stick to the game plan and stick to the activities you need to drive through your brain. If you sit back and go into idle mode, the anxiety and panic will build and build until it overwhelms you. You must develop a work ethic and a warrior mindset. This is mission-critical.
It took years, but I stuck to my plan, and now I have lost a good amount of weight, gained muscle, am healthy, and my deep issues like low self-esteem are melting away. I have made money, saved a lot of it, and now can invest in myself while I change careers, learn the business and start increasing my revenue streams from just having a job to having other ventures and hustles on the go. I did so much to get to this stage, I still am in therapy, do my wellness practices daily. Just had my first ever date yesterday, and it was great. She was a nice girl and I think she likes me. Her eyes were very beautiful and felt like they went on forever, like into the galaxy or something. I worked for it dude. It came at 30! In the future, I will achieve financial freedom, have a successful marriage and 3-4 kids living in a beautiful property somewhere idyllic. This is realistic for me because I have a brutal work ethic and am willing to grind myself into a fine powder every single day and somehow find a way to build myself up every morning so I can do it again. I also have excellent men in my corner, like a whole bunch of them, we talk daily via WhatsApp, the forums, the private coaching group. I want them to win and they want me to win, and because there is mutual respect amongst men with extreme drive, we are able to support each other on the road to victory. It comes together when you yourself embody the values that are aligned with success and live your values every day.
Point being: you can change, let's not compare misery, that's pointless, but the difference is that when I was in the deepest darkest dungeon of all time, I fought TOOTH AND NAIL to get myself better, and literally was willing to die, willing to endure any torture and any suffering because something inside me said that either I make something of myself in this world and be someone I respect, or I will die trying. I wanted it more badly than anything. When I was agoraphobic and deep in social anxiety and with phobias so bad just being alive for 1 single second took everything I had, never, ever, ever did I give up and I was prepared to actually die on the battlefield with a sword in hand. I worked every second of the day, I did nothing but work from sunrise to sunset on making myself better, I did nothing else, no TV, no games or whatever (never played them anyway), I just put my list down every day and attacked it to drive data through my brain.
Where is your warrior spirit? I wrote you a long post that gave you the EXACT blueprint, and you didn't engage with it to the extent I would expect from someone is serious. When someone on the forum gave me a break, I really appreciated it, to such that I actually made a note about it on my pen and paper journal that when I become something in this world, for this guys kind gesture when I really needed it, I am going to do something very nice for him and pay him back. I will surprise him with that one. That is the mentality of a guy who is dead ass serious. I spent almost 2 hrs writing that when I was supposed to be recharging on the beach in the Canary Islands, because you were going through a hard time and I hated seeing you go through that, but you didn't go balls to the wall like I needed you to, and now you say you did "everything". Bro, I did over 2k approaches before I was your age and not 1 chick texted back. To get over my health issues I worked from the second I got up until the second I went to bed and every moment was filled with doing the right things. The approaches, I was doing them like a fucking idiot and I had high anxiety so came across like a weirdo, but I got healthier in brain and body, and when I came here and listened to the guys, did what Andy told me to do, etc, I am making legit progress - it has been proven that Andy's advice works because I just went on my first date (at 30 years young) and will continue to go upwards from here.
No one can actually make you do it. There are many, many men rotting on the internet. That's their choice for destroying their brain chemistry, letting the screen leech melatonin out of their brain, ruin their sleep which in turn ruins their mitochondria, and then depletes dopamine, which in turn turns them bitter negative and resentful and makes it a pattern they can't break until they find a way to increase their dopamine, which will then allow them to have the clarity of thought to change. Low dopamine makes you dumb as a post. If your sleep is bad, you are destroying your mitochondria, which can only be restored during sleep when you have topped up your melatonin to allow autophagy and apoptosis during sleep. It took me years to get over my insomnia and I did it through wellness practices, and thereafter, I was able to begin to internalise the mindset stuff.
Even when I was broken into a million pieces, completely alone, unable to work, hell unable to function and quite close to death, I had a disgusting and evil attitude of wanting to fight my problems to my last breath. My teeth were always gritted and my sword was always by my side. I made them the enemy and while the enemy had the tactical advantage over me because it controlled my brain and my body, what the enemy didn't know was through the day structure and neural plasticity, I was building the war machine that would ultimately destroy them once and for all. Because the enemy beat me down so bad, it thought it could just leave me on the sidelines to perish, because it was so sure no one could come back from a brutal beatdown like that. The enemy scoffed and gloated how bad it beat me, it didn't even think I was worth finishing for good, but this is where they made a critical error. They didn't understand the spirit I have. If you just leave me with one more breath, I am going to find a way to get back up, and I am going to go for your throat. Leave one wolf alive and the sheep are never safe. I got out of that dungeon and did the impossible, I actually made a comeback.
Who would have bet on the fuck up who did 2k approaches and couldn't get a single text? Who would have bet on that guy ever going on a date? The thing about it is, I failed over and over in my life, and that failure built the foundation for the success that is in my future. When most thought I wouldn't even move forward one inch, and yes it was brutal to hear that from people I love, I bet the house on myself and now a lot of people are looking pretty stupid indeed.
I need to see more grit in you. I looked at my serious problems (physical and mental) and said to them "You will break before I do, I will watch you fall into the abyss and you will have to know the defeat of having to watch me rise to glory"
You have to be harder as a man, and your closed-mindedness, the defeatist mental state must be destroyed. Why I came back and am now here fighting with the best of them, is because at no time was I ever, ever going to accept that I will not make it in life. That has never been a possibility for me and because of that, when something goes wrong or I am not getting the outcome I want, I let the pain hit me, and then I take a strategic approach: "What can I actually do to overcome this problem?".
Many, many men fail in life. Many of them stack up at the bottom, Jordan Peterson explores this well. Look at successful men. Do you know how hard many of these guys work? I can tell you, Andy worked 14-16hrs a day to set up this community, the fucker sacrificed it all and went into huge debt. Now, he is making the money he deserves, and we all want him to make way more, and he wants us to make more too. All the solid guys are like this. Watch the last video Andy did with a total OG. This dude, the Greek God, has a true work ethic and is a hard motherfucker. I have seen him take insane levels of action he inspires me. He deserves every bit of success that comes his way, the girls he smashes are actually lucky to be with him, he is one of life's winners and will continue to win, and we can both learn from each other and support our mutual success. That is how much effort you have to put in. Realistically, this is a fucking HARD road and it requires a hard man to walk it. Many guys are not that, they post on the forum once and their dicks shrivel up and retract up their anuses. Why they are so dumb for doing this is because they didn't build relationships and network with these guys who could have been guests on their podcasts, done collabs with them, built and launched joint ventures, exchanged skills and expertise, you name it. They didn't even see this pathway because they were not here to truly grind. So they may just go forward and live a mediocre life and do nothing similar to what Andy did. They won't even care. Point being: mediocrity is the norm, and not everyone will make it.
Note I am not saying YOU are bad, but the state of what you have done to your brain is terrible. You have lived a toxic lifestyle for very long of poor sleep, screens and technology, circadian mismatch and now your cells are in chaos. Totally fixable btw. Andy, the private group members, and the bros on the forum point out things about myself where I am going wrong - I always listen wholeheartedly, and I can tell you, without exception, these fuckers are ALWAYS RIGHT. Sometimes, other guys watching your journey can see things you can't, patterns, things like that. They effectively provide you with the archimedean lever that for you will lift the universe.
I know where your archimedean point is Matt. Many other men might not, because they didn't go through what you did, but I have, and our timelines are not too dissimilar, so you really must take a chance, say fuck it, and listen to me.
Soft cunts, like I was, get their throats slit and life passes them by. Someone else gets their dream job, someone else marries their dream girl, and someone else lives in their beachfront home and hears the waves crash against the beach every night. Have you seen the Dark Knight Rises? There is a great scene in that where Bruce Wayne has to take a leap of faith, he actually has to look the fear of death in the eye, and say fuck you, I can't live like this, I am getting out of this hell and if you want to keep me here you will have to kill me. He said in his heart, I can do this - and he jumped. Because he jumped, when the odds were against him, the divine opened a pathway for him. He rises.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DjffIi2Pl7M
He falls over and over, is defeated time and time again, and is broken physically as well as mentally. But like myself, something, somewhere so deep inside him said - no, I WILL RISE. Bruce Wayne has the warrior spirit in this film, and I did at that time in my life, as I do now. It is there in you but if you allow low dopamine neuroticism to control your brain, it's done and it will never come out.
Understand that. You are digging yourself deeper and deeper into the hole and you point blank refuse to do any Wellness for Self Improvement stuff. How can a deeply neurotic and sick person become successful without becoming healthy first? You make no sense to me. I was able to see this by the time I was your age because the other shit didn't work, yet you still refuse to listen to what I am saying. Why....I'll tell you why.
You're low dopamine, which means you are extremely closed-minded, and when someone tells you something to improve, you will just say: "No, sorry, I don't believe that" or some variant thereof. You are not special in this regard, you are becoming more resentful and bitter because you keep destroying your neural chemistry. So many people have been here, I have read countless case studies and through private groups and mentors have heard these stories again and again. Any human that becomes low dopamine will behave the same way. Dopamine production starts in the eye and requires native sunshine, this is not my theory, this is the work of stellar scientists who are working in research and don't give a rats ass if you believe them or not they ain't selling shit....The cure to your low dopamine state is simple: See the sunrise and sunset, practice grounding for hours a day, and get your circadian biology on point. The healthier you get in brain and body, the easier self improvement becomes. I can now follow the template laid out by people like Andy, Radical etc, because my brain and body is functioning as well if not in some regards better than there's. I did it through mitochondria, biohacking, breathwork, structural work, and spirituality.
Do you know how much poor sleep destroys your brain? That alone can make you an extreme incel. Do you think those guys are heathy and vibrant, getting restorative sleep for 8hrs a night, perfectly timed circadian rhythm?? No lmao. If the beasts on the private coaching group sleep poorly for a few days, they have 10x negative emotions, Andy does, the other slayers do, lord knows I did. Your problems do not require superficial band aids, they require robust, physiological solutions of wellness, health, and function. I give all this information out for free on TikTok and Facebook. I spent many thousands learning this shit through mentors, private groups and programs, workshops, because I was dead ass serious buddy. I read endless stacks of books and my room was looking like a mad scientists lab.
DIVERSIONS
Stop the cycle of introspective panic, now.
Right now, you need to cool your mind off. Yes, you can't sleep and are crying. I cried many many times too when I was in the dungeon. When I got out of there, I knew there would be other men at breaking point I would meet in the future and even though I don't have these problems any more, I knew I would sometimes have to come back and get other men who are want to leave the dungeon out of that fucking evil place.
When you've been under that much stress and panic has been ever present for that long, you need a strategic recharge. In these times you need what I call 'diversions'. These occupy the subconscious mind and drain resources away from the neural pathways that fuel anxiety and panic, weakening them, causing them to become obsolete. You must push your consciousness outward and not withdraw it into the spiral that is going on in your brain. You will find the brain slows down and you can become calmer, but it must be done non stop for many hours or the cycle will continue. Every time you push your brain off anxiety and panic/negativity, and get it to focus on the external, for a sustained time, it keeps breaking the panic cycle. This is your job right now.
To do this, we must be as intellectually busy as possible. Right now, engage your brain to the absolute max. Here is a list of interesting videos you can watch from start to finish and just MAKE yourself sit there and take the data in, don't listen to your bullshit low dopamine brain which will constantly be bitching, the pathways that have become dominant for you are not good, so don't give them fuel.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y4AnTsB-OsQ&t=1s
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pCAoacX0E5A
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FZtLoN3n9X8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QNxSSNEO39U&t=354s
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DlQWj6a817w
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ACX9h-Y8uuM
Stuff like that is fascinating. I also enjoy great films and documentaries. I have had some good times watching Werner Herzog films.
I can't do it for you. I can't lift you out the cycle of panic. But what I can do, is give you a slap and tell you to get your shit together.
You have this forum and guys helping you. I am helping you right now. When I was down and out, NO ONE helped me. I was left alone and no one gave a fuck. More than that, the people around me didn't have an ounce of patience with me, they were abusive, bullied me, people went out their way to treat me like shit and fuck with me. My 'friends' ditched me in horrible fashion, when I was loving life going out talking to girls they wanted to know me, when I became an anxious wreck, they said with a grimace and dirty look "you're not well" and kicked me out the club we were in and never spoke to me again. Yes, some people are evil cunts and these demons will pull you down when you are the darkest place imaginable for no reason. Even though my situation made it as hard as it possible to overcome my anxiety and health problems, I had one thing: the WILL TO SURVIVE. That mutated into a burning desire and I wanted to prove them wrong. Those fuckers will see me in a few years driving around with my wife, kids and $$$ in the bank. What if I drive past you one day in a luxury vehicle, top down and with a stunning woman next to me and 3 kids in the back? You will know that a guy who life damn near destroyed, who was broken into a million pieces, found strength and drive in himself to go high in life. And if you don't do that yourself, only you can be blamed.
This is going to be a bumpy fucking ride son, but you have the map that will navigate these stormy seas, the rest of this is going to come down to heart. Nothing else is needed dude. It's heart. I did all this shit when I was damn near about to pass away from this world through FORCE OF WILL alone.
It's a process, you'll have endless set backs, you will feel like life couldn't be worse, like you've made no progress, all of this shit will keep coming up. I still have occasional moments, I am a work in progress but look - I AM MAKING PROGRESS! Have lost 35lbs, have gone on a date with a pretty girl, have build muscle, improved style, yes my online dating was shit, but I am going to re-do all my pics, I have now made huge progress on my low self esteem, started a wellness brand, post youtube videos weekly, TikTok daily, all of this is in the public domain my family and friends watch my videos and I am happy about it. I am HAPPY and SELF CONFIDENT. And I have an unstoppable, relentless drive to keep moving forward. You will see me work my dick off every day on this forum dude.
I am going to succeed in my life because I DECIDED I WILL. Right now I am saying to life, here's Plan A, I want X Y and Z, I am willing t grind myself into a fine powder and pay the price in blood sweat and tears, and Life said "Well, that's the elite plan, we don't usually give that to people like you, but have you considered Plan C or Plan D?". No, here's Plan A, I am going with Plan A, and that's final - so how do we make that work life? End of. Because I am deep in the process, the process itself is what does the work for you, the numbers game, the weight loss and muscle gain game, the wellness game, these processes are set up for us to win, and because I stick to them every day, victories come man.
The other dudes on this forum are of course lightyears ahead of me, there's every possibility that I will never catch up in terms of success with women, but I actually don't care so much about that, trying to find my soul-mate here and Andy said I can do that if I spend 2 years getting very good with them and choosing one who is the best match for me. But in other areas of life....I am going to bet on myself because my drive is so nasty, disgusting, and I am willing to truly, truly grind in the most miserable circumstances you can put me in.
You have my upmost love and compassion. You are heard, seen, and respected. But what I want to see from you is a brain change towards open mindedness, be more coachable.
Diversions for a week kid, and we can work on wellness from there.
MAC
