Lusty's 5'4 fat to fit looking for love log

[Lusty69]

This is a little log to keep me accountable and get my life back on track,
Just going to report my introduction post
Recently single, used to live in Melbourne Australia but due to the authoritarian regime and 2 years of being locked up/Isolated my mental health took a turn, I gained 45kg through binge eating and binge drinking, particularly low point was being shot at by cops and arrested for walking outside my apartment without my ID on me, then other issues of not being allowed to do anything like go gym because I wasn't taking the big V. Fast forward I moved to the Northern State of QLD and just trying to get my stuff back together, was in a little bit of a toxic relationship, likely just a mirror of my own toxicity so I took 2 months off dating altogether, the past 2-3 years I have been doing a lot of inner work, but have been in the pick-up self dev journey for 12 years now.
For a mild ego boost and because I find it funny my lay count is 69, I was hoping my ex would be my wife so I could die with a lay count of 69, but looks like that didn't go to plan, unless I stick to abstinence and go to Church and become a born again virgin?
So got some experience when it comes to sex and dating, however it always came from a desperate get my lay count up at any cost, a lot of random sex from online dating which was very low quality. Then again been with some odd attractive women, more so when I had initially lost weight and was around 75-80kg bodyweight at 5'4 so yeah short guys can get laid

Goals/Focus
Weightloss
SW: 118.9kg CW: 107KG GW: 70kg Height: 5'4

Masculinity & inner work
Heal my inner child, work on my co-dependant people pleaser nice guy side
Learn and be ok with doing hard things
Focus on keeping my word for myself and what I say to others (including commitments I make here)
Get more comfortable with being physically violent through wrestling other men, combat sports, hunting or other sports/tasks
read 1 book per month (on track with this so far this year)

Money
Got two business things I am working on, one is established one is brand new
The established one I want to add 800k of Rev in the next 3 years
The new one I want to hit 100k rev in the next 3 years

Dating
Don't really care about increasing my lay count
Want to focus on quality women, only sleep with women I find are attractive
No overweight women!
Only ever had one threesome with 2 other women was sort of like a half-assed one as in the girls didn't like to have sex with each other so I would like to have a proper 3some with 2 bisexual women or a 4some maybe would be insane
Short term just to see one person I find attractive and like hanging out with where we have great sex

Other stuff
Travel to a new country I have not been to
I have travelled a fair amount the past 12 months (19 flights so far) but they have mainly been to places I have been to before, or repeat trips for business

I have done the weight loss before and taken action I was even featured on the GLL blog back in the day when I went low carb and lost 30kg (66lb) but the work now is the emotions and habits for long term success rather than quick fat loss, sleep with women, get in toxic relationship and gain weight cycle I have done

(Used to be called MuzztecAFC)
Right now I am following more of an animal-based diet, quit alcohol and hitting the gym 4-5x per week just doing general strength training

 

[Lusty69]

Little fustrating as I have injured my knee, was at a men's circle thing today, we did like a BootCamp was good mix of cardio and strength like push ups, sit ups, pull ups (glad I got 3 pull ups at 107kg bodyweight)
However in the wrestling ring the guy I went with, I manged to land awkwardly on my leg and I felt something rip, now it is quite sore, looks like I will be stuck training upper body, will see what it is like tomorrow as I can walk on it, just hope it was something minor and fixes up soon
Smashing it with red light therapy right now, but might try book in my physio tomorrow

 

[Lusty69]

Weight is now down to 106.4kg
Pysio appt on the knee, most likely a meniscus tear so it should heal within 2 weeks otherwise I need a scan, I guess it is a wake-up call to lose weight and keep doing different exercises to bulletproof my joints along with a healthy diet.
I am travelling tomorrow, but my main focus is to pick and choose protein when eating out as much as possible and try to limit junk and fast food.

 

[Lusty69]

107.3kg, weight has just been pretty much the same, knee is coming along I can finally walk with out a limp, so will keep focusing on rehab on the knee then doing a usual work out at the gym, shifting up the food a little and cutting back on the random shit I was having like high protein icecreams and other BS marketing foods as I was finding they just made me crave more and want to eat more, I am trying to experiment with eating slightly more bland and less sweet stuff

 

[Lusty69]

Good to see you here!

If I may ask - what led you to getting women? Especially as a fairly short, chubby guy?

What kind of personality traits do you have? If you've even analyzed that lol

So my weight has always fluctuated, I am quite lucky that by wearing good clothing and fashion when I am a little lighter than I am now I can make myself look much leaner, credit to board shoulders, holding more fat in my upper back and legs.

Right now at my heavier weight, it's a lot of just putting in extra effort, making sure my haircut and beard are on point, I have a pretty good Instagram showing off a little cash but I scaled back and removed a lot off it which I did notice made things slightly harder but stopped also attracting in women who wanted me to pay for more stuff. I also have amazing logistics as in 1 block from the major clubbing district here in one of the taller towers with the optimal view of the skyline which is just a good excuse to bring women back home quickly and stuff.

I will admit that I am getting laid less now as I did raise my standards quite a bit since my last relationship, but also mixing in that I know a thing or two about BDSM or sex in general, I have not seen KYIL sex advice stuff but I have done a lot of work over the past years with another company called Sexual Quantum Leap so I am very confident when it comes to the bedroom which I think makes things way easier as there is no anxiety for me to get naked and stuff because I know even if I look like shit I can turn a woman on and make her squirt or orgasm with ease.

I did for a while go pretty hardcore on getting all my online dates direct to my place but the issue I had was it was very up-and-down quality, but back then I was trying to fill an empty hole and it served it's purpose as my goal was just to sleep with as many women as possible, now I have changed to if I sleep with 1/10th as many I don't care if they are more attractive and I keep them around so been doing more public dates which I realised I suck at due to the fact I spent 2-3 years taking them all directly back to mine.

I will say in terms of quality, and if you want to put in effort even as a short fat guy daygame would have been my strongest in terms of getting my higher quality lays, I guess I have developed great social skills from doing a lot of work on myself for years, I run a business, so I am also not afraid of public speaking at events and networking with people which I think has helped me, also when I was young I did take massive action and got rejected thousands of times trying to lose my virginity spam approaching daygame which was a very very slow process as I turned it into a robotic escapism from my own emotions and feelings but I do feel it taught me better social skills and ability to feel into and read people better as I was unable to do that before as I never had any friends in school, I was that kid that the whole school bullied so I used to stay in my room, watch porn and binge eat through my whole teenage years.

 

[Lusty69]

@Lusty69

I see! So money/financial stability has been the main reason of success, you'd say?

Do you think you would have success even without money? Could these results still be replicated?

(if you didn't show finances at all)

How much if it has been social skills? If so, are there any step by step social "tricks" that you have found that actually work?

You're inspiring since you're not the typical case if "just be fit and tall"

No money and finances not directly, it simply gave me confidence and value in my head, I got laid plenty without ever showing any financial success. The finances part was simply being able to rent places that are logistically close to large western cities think in Australia with crazy high rents, and places that have nice views/on a higher floor. I did have a nice car before I moved cities but I don't think that really helped much.
Maybe on Instagram having a photo of me flying first class could help but I never got laid from Instagram more than maybe from 3 cold DM's out of sending 100's.

My biggest success I would just say is good social skills and text game that took a while to develop, and yes sleeping with new women was much easier when I was leaner than I am now, never abs lean but short and fit was much easier than short and fat, but short and fat doesn't limit me, just got to run more volume, more dates, more approaches

 

[Lusty69]

So to update the weight loss goal, I was stuck in a 107kg hover, I felt just tired and exhausted a lot. Last week did a big emotional release then just allowed myself to be really shit for as long as I needed, 2 days in and I was like fuck this is never going to end I am going to be in this rut of shitness for ages, Day 3 was similar, but I woke up after 3 days of whatever, just reminded myself what my coach told me and not to judge or be hard on myself, I did gain a little weight from the being shit reaching 108.7kg. However things felt different, along with advice from the podcast Andy did for me around not being perfect and my coach saying to be shit I just slowly became more productive and started to track towards my goals more. I readjusted a little and went with the focus on 1 goal and let everything else land where it lands, so my number 1 focus is my weight, but whilst that was the focus after this massive release I saw my porn use reduce from multiple times per day to once per day with out trying, my productivity in my business increased and I have felt overall more energetic.

A big shift which helped me a lot was listening to one of the podcasts where Andy said it is ok to use getting women as my motivation to lose weight, I was stuck in this mindset that if I do that it will be toxic reason my reason should be for health and myself because then if I get in a relationship I will just gain it all back blah blah, but I thought fuck it I am doing this because I want higher quality women in my life.
Huge motivation has just spamming myself and going all in with the articles and podcasts from Andy around his story, other clients and just the depth of explanation he had around women lusting over him and things being way easier having Abs, it's this weird cognitive impairment around it all where I was like I know losing weight will help, but it is too painful now to lose weight maybe or something felt like my motivation was lacking, will power is 0, the nervous system has been depleted from the past few years, but something about listening to all this after the massive emotional release has gotten me energised and feeling the motivation to get things done I have not felt in ages.

So since the shift I have gone to Gym every day, listening to the podcast as I work out and just pushing myself breaking a massive sweat which I hadn't the last few gym sessions so intensity is higher and I have done 20,000 steps two days in a row, my eating as much as it hasn't been an extreme calorie deficit which I have managed in the past like 1,500cals I have managed to get it back down to the 2,000-2,500 calorie range.

2 days of this so fat have gone from 108.7kg to 106.7kg yes mainly water weight from cutting my carbs to close to 0g but the rapid loss is fucking motivating 2kg lost in 2 days after going all in is a fuck yeah, I want to smash through 105kg as the past 3 months of being in a stall pattern my weight has just been bouncing between 105-108kg.

Ideally by July want to get under 100kg, it's a little annoying seeing that weight loss is around 0.5kg-1kg/week to be sustainable as it seems like a massive goal which was also messing with me as I need to lose I think 36kg from here, I am already 11kg down which has taken me 6 months, but I did go through a breakup and travel for 3 months in between along with some post breakup craziness which slowed things and led to some weight gain with emotional eating.

I am a little scared, but also excited that I can get this done in 40 weeks which seems like a while away, but I know my body type and dressing in nice clothing along with great face features even at 20-25% bodyfat I can look well above average, but I really want to for the first time in my life see my abs and have women lust over me, listening to Andy has really put this into me, I estimate I will need to get to 70kg to see all my Abs at 5'4 with decent training experience, but I guess to see my lower abs might be lower than that depending how much muscle I lose along the way, along with not having trained legs much the past month due to my knee.

Anyone reading this I have attached a photo of me at 76kg which was the leanest I have ever been which was just pre covid lockdowns in Melbourne, based on this I made the assumption I would need to lose another 5kg to get abs hence the 70kg goal.

 

[Lusty69]

Managed to do 3 days in a row of hitting 20,000 steps, got a lot of momentum and motivation from this spurt of hitting it hard with the steps and eating well as my weight has now dropped to 105.6kg that's a quick rapid loss of 3.1kg in about 3 days which is a huge motivation even if 90% of it is just the initial water weight loss from going very low carb but with 36kg of weight still to lose it is great to see.

I decided to go in harder with the diet and training, I hired a coach I worked with a while ago who will get me to do functional strength and movement in my training then we have weekly deep dive calls into the emotions and accountability around my diet and fat loss, I hit him up and just said I want to get really fucking serious around my fat loss.

I also purchased myself some new clothing, I do have a number of dates up coming and found that stretch skinny jeans that are black along with a black top and black jacket seem to make me look skinnier than my blue chino pants I was wearing, also keeping one colour seems to help with looking less short, I do like wearing black as well. The great thing about stretch skinny jeans is they will still fit well around my legs and everything even as I lose weight, the waist might come a touch lose but easy fixed with a belt until I reward myself with some new clothing when I hit 90kg. Along with the fact that I have a few cloths in my wardrobe that will start fitting me again when I get sub 90kg.

 

[Lusty69]

Managed to hit 20,000 steps again yesterday and went on a date from Bumble, first time I have been on a date with a girl who was actually much better looking in real life than in her photos so that was a win. Ended up making out which was a boost of confidence given she was very much in shape and good-looking. I was wearing all black skinny jeans, black v neck t-shirt and a camera necklace which she grabbed and commented on so I think I will keep wearing it and maybe buy some other necklaces to change it up. As it is winter I might also look at getting a black blazer or peacoat to go over the top as it was a tiny bit cold last night at the rooftop bar. Sort of inspired by this https://www.instagram.com/p/CsBbaiktkoR/ I know someone on here posted his Instagram somewhere and I do like his fashion, just need to work out the best places to buy some of the jackets and stuff locally without dishing out $500-1000 (Australian retail stores are very expensive for nicer stuff)

Legs and lower back are feeling a little tight from the increase in walking but it's very manageable I do find doing backwards sled pulls at gym to bring my legs back to feeling really good so I can do another big walk the following afternoon, I want to keep doing these steps, I know the body will likely adapt more and will have less calorie burn impact but I think as my body is more used to it I will start having a shower and dressing up more put some comfy boots on, shout out to RM Williams for making super comfy boots, this is because I have been doing my big walks into the heart of the city and a few laps to just get super routine and used to going through there and as my body adapts, I sweat less (I can slow down the pace) I will start making it a daygame exercise. At the moment been just taking the most baby steps of staying in my gym cloths and keeping the bar super low to just get out there and walk but once that habit is built I think I will add in some daygame as I know this city I am now in has much much more attractive people in it compared to my old city and the main strip is always filled with very fit and attractive women, many are likely not on any dating apps as they usually get hit up enough from Instagram and stuff.

I have been really good on the diet this week, I had little cravings yesterday but I gave myself a little pep talk and had some 85% dark chocolate, got a few quest bars coming in my food order today along with plenty of meat and some fruit, sticking to a more animal-based diet which seems to help a lot with hunger cravings whilst maintaining good energy in the gym and walking, I find carb heavier diets slow me down and make me tired, so have been quite happy with having more energy eating less this week even though I have done lots of activity.

 

[Lusty69]

Bought a measuring tape finally came in my online order, might measure myself once per month or something
Neck 38cm
L bicep 37cm
R Bicep 37cm
L Forearm 32cm
r Forearm 31cm
Chest 115cm
Waist 116cm
Hips 117cm
L Quad 62cm
R Quad 61cm
L Calf 45cm
R Calf 44cm

This puts me at 38% BF on the measurement calculator, so currently at 106kg is 66kg lean mass, so I think my goal of 70kg should be able to see abs, obviously with weight loss I will lose some muscle, but even if my lean mass drops to 62kg 70kg will still be 12% bf

 

[Lusty69]

Slowly getting back into daygame did 3 approaches today got rejected but I'm happy I did 3 approaches. I made a promise to myself if I did 0 I would have to do the AA program so was good negative emotional leverage.

 

[Lusty69]

Had a date from Hinge, got drinks for an hour then tried to invite back to mine, she said ok at first then was like oh I am going to go back to my accommodation, then blocked me on Instagram but oh well, I think it's a lot to do with just being out of practice on dates, just talking about too much dumb mundane surface level shit and not seducing the girls, and with my heavier weight isn't helping create that lust as explained in many of Andy's podcasts.
Did some daygame today after my mid arvo date cancelled on me for being hung over. Did 3 approaches got one tentative quick Instagram but she hasn't accepted my request, then got a cute girls number, first daygame number close since being single whoo hoo, the last approach was a really attractive French woman but she said she had a boyfriend back home in France I was like doesn't count but she said he was coming to visit her so oh well. Great day and session for me.
Main take aways is keep pushing with the fat loss, got some new clothes coming this week in the mail will be good, might also buy some new rings and necklaces, just got to search online or in some stores for something cheap and fun.
I will do another fashion overall when I get under 100kg I feel what I wear now I have one good style in all black which serves my heavier self.
Down 3kg in under 1 week, tomorrow is the weight in day with my accountability group of friends, last Monday was 108.7kg today Sunday was 105.6kg so if I can maintain that or be lower tomorrow will be a crazy weightloss of 3kg+ (6.6LB) in just 1 week.
I have made my goal weight now 69 because I love the number and it puts me to 10-12% BF

 

[Lusty69]

Happy Monday for all my Aussie friends.

105.1kg, I was hoping to break through that 105kg we got close haha, that's 3.6kg down in 1 week after that reset weekend where I overate after a massive emotional release. I am way lighter, and way more motivated and I can't wait to get well under 105kg, then finally out of the 100kg range for good, my aim for this is the 10th of July 2023 to get under 100kg.

I think I will by myself a new pair of runners when I get under 100kg as I am wearing out my current ones by doing 20,000 steps per day.

Sitting into a more keto/animal-based diet at the moment seems to make dieting fairly easy with the added motivation as discussed above which is good, my downfall is I need to start reducing or cutting down having BBQ sauce with my meats, I use sugar free BBQ sauce at the moment, but I have a feeling having bland chicken with salt will make me eat less than smothering it with sauce

 

[Lusty69]

Mild frustration I was hoping my weight was going to dip under 105kg this morning finally, must have held slightly more water but I think tomorrow or at least the end of the week we will be under 105kg.
I am slowing going towards a carnivore + fruit diet so cutting a few small things out and adding in a little more fruit rather than other junk like quest bars, I think removing sweet-tasting stuff even if it is sugar-free is key to helping reduce cravings. So I have loaded up on different meats and stocked up the fridge so I have no excuses if I am hungry just chuck another steak on.

Other adjustments on what can I do is to make sure I finish off the 1.7L water bottle in my fridge during the day + 1 caffeine-free herbal tea at night/after dinner to reduce snacking and night cravings.

 

[Lusty69]

Good news finally dipped under 105kg, well 104.7kg yesterday and exactly 105kg today so I will call that a win.

Just playing around with making choices to eat less but still feel full, I try to make my first meal super lean chicken with just salt and no sauce for example, having fruit later at night more so and been making some sugar free jelly.

 

[Lusty69]

Training at gym is coming along with finally training legs again just lightly since my knee injury, my hamstrings have heaps of doms which is good, they are the easiest to train without any ill effects on my knee, knee flexion stuff my knee is a little clicky under load but no pain, so will just keep doing a mix of bodyweight stuff which has no clicks and rehab as I build some weight into the knee.
I had a little extra fruit and I think along with the DOMS a little extra water retention, my scales feel like they are almost trolling me as I was the exact same weight as last Sunday but my BF% was down 0.5% hence why I think it's more so water retention. My average weight for last week was 105.2kg which is down on the week before an average of 106.8kg so things are tracking in the right direction.
I do think there is a little work towards speeding up the process whilst managing emotions and hunger, yesterday was a little bit of a lower day, but I feel like today I have bounced back.
I have had a few dates flake and also some I didn't follow up from just feeling like sleeping, managed to clock 12hrs of sleep yesterday and feel way better today though. Skipped out on heading out on a Friday or Saturday for some daygame but I might try and do a session this afternoon and will see what happens

 

[Mindset]

the past 2-3 years I have been doing a lot of inner work, but have been in the pick-up self dev journey for 12 years now.

I like your no-nonsense way of writing man, I can definitely tell you have some experience under your belt.
Looking forward to seeing more from you on here.

 

[Lusty69]

the past 2-3 years I have been doing a lot of inner work, but have been in the pick-up self dev journey for 12 years now.

I like your no-nonsense way of writing man, I can definitely tell you have some experience under your belt.
Looking forward to seeing more from you on here.

Thanks for dropping a comment means a lot that you took the time out to read about my journey

So today was a little frustrating, I think I might be overeating a little with a few things over the weekend, I finished off some cheese I had open which I put on top of some chicken meatballs I had made along with some sugar-free BBQ sauce but I think I must have eaten too much of it as it was very tasty. So not sure if it is the combination of eating a little too much fat and that I started training my legs again from my injury, I have bad hamstring DOMS, but I frustratingly have woken up today at 106.0kg that's 900g up from last week.

My average weight across the week was lower but still just an annoying start to the week, but I will just focus today on some leaner protein, keep cutting down on the vices I still use like my reduced sugar BBQ sauce. I might also try going to gym a little later and tightening up my eating window so I can spend more hours fasted, add in some tea after dinner to keep food cravings down, time to add in some habits to cut the weight.
Mornings are easy for me to not eat, likely due to the two espressos I have in the mornings, so I will also maybe try go to bed earlier, wake up earlier, go gym a touch later, try to force myself to not eat 3-4hrs before I go to bed unless for a piece of fruit.

Going to gym and training is the easy part, I don't find it hard to go 6-7 days per week, it's more sticking to the food plan.

The biggest win however for the past 2 weeks is I have not gone and had a big "cheat meal/day" filled with sugar, carbs and junk food, yes I have overeaten a little but it has been with like chicken thighs and cheese, I actually have dropped the feeling and need to eat icecream, chips, pizza and so on which is a really powerful place to be in as for the past 2-3 years I have not gone more than a week without having that sort of junk and then craving it every day until I got my next fix.

 

[Lusty69]

Finally under 105kg again so 104.9kg this morning, feeling quite good with training and diet, only minor frustration is that I do want the weight to move a little faster, but right now this rate of weight loss seems the most sustainable for where I am at in term of managing hunger, motivation, emotions and/or pain/suck tolerance.
Training as been going well hitting the gym about 5-6x per week and then on my off days doing over 10,000 steps of walking.

Had a few dates set up this week from online, 3 flaked and 1 I meet up with but I didn't like, had a few flakes of late but I think it's just part of online dating really.

 

[Zug]

right now this rate of weight loss seems the most sustainable for where I am at in term of managing hunger, motivation, emotions and/or pain/suck tolerance.

I got really bogged down at this point, I couldn't really drop calories further or lift more. I didn't have the capacity to do more cardio either. Then it just kinda dawned on me...there's really no upper limit to walking. I started walking more and more and more every single day. I did 10mi a day for a couple months and started melting again. It does take a lot of time, but if you combine it with something like meaningful audiobooks or learning a new language you can get a lot out of that time.