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Ravi, Year 3: Self-Improvement Log - Data-Driven, Incremental Growth [DISCIPLINE]

As you'd expect colgate I just gave up when she asked me that and kept moving, lol. Should have pushed but just didn't.

Oh man. Could this week of The Phoenix Project get any worse?

Yesterday, miserable experience with a pink haired feminist lady who did not like me at all and a true grinder of a 4hr approach session of straight rejections. I really hoped today would be better, and had high hopes for tonights date being a nice lady who would be cool to me.

I went out in KIngston and volume was not there today, very few women I wanted to approach, they were all so young, they looked like children. 18 year old girls look crazy young to me and I am often not sure they are of age so I skip them. But there was 1 chick who looked cool, I approached her, she was super chill, but had a b/f. She laughed and walked off. It was nice. 2hr approach session but was shit. Only did 1 approach.

I need very high volume places like Central London. Will try again Sunday.

DATE.......oh man.

So, I get home from approaching, have dinner, lay down for 20 mins as I am tired, get a cold shower change and jump on transport. Takes 45mins to get to the cocktail bar. It is full of stunning women and I cannot fathom what it would feel like if women like this wanted to know me.

I wait for my date.

She is 30 mins late, but says she is parking up. Its fine, I have to get to 8 dates, it's whatever. If she arrives, I'll be on 6. So I wait.

She then arrives.

My heart absolutely sank when I see her. A heavy feeling in my chest emerged. Wow, really - this is beyond a joke.

She looks nothing like her pictures. She is so, so obese. Absolutely enormous. She texts my phone, "where are you?", I think to myself, dude, should I just leave? She wouldn't even know.

There is no chance I would do that because that would really hurt someone, and frankly, I am myself a kinda bad looking guy so there will no doubt be many women in my journey who will have the same response to me. Greeted her and did the date. Was with her for an hour, had a nice glass of wine. She was very chatty, but quite immature in her outlook and perspectives. The conversation was not what I would enjoy, and man I was tired, so I just listened to her man.

I bounced us out of there after an hour, I thanked her for her time and told her it was great meeting her. I didn't say I would see her again or anything like that. I sent her a text to tell her I hope she got home safe and that it was nice meeting her. She should be under no illusions that we didn't click. Shouldn't be an issue. But it is very unfair people do this, you should not misrepresent yourself like this. If you are very very overweight, be open about it.

This week in The Phoenix Project has had highs and lows, I felt good at the start of the week and now I feel obviously pretty shit. I will go to bed and dust off now. I am having that feeling I get when I begin to think it's impossible for me to find a nice girl. It's a miserable feeling, I can say it is weaker than it was a few weeks ago in Brighton that was a killer. Huh, it is what it is.

:-(

MAC
 
Running Totals:
Cold Approaches: 24
Numbers: 0
Dates: 3
Sexual Encounters: 0

Notes: I will get this photoshoot sorted and see if that helps things along. I also think I may need to make a drastic body transformation and gain a shit tonne of muscle. I am having a lot of doubts right now, I will simmer down I'm just a little shook. I wish people didn't catfish like this, it's frustrating as hell.

MAC
 
So.....said catfish follows up with a message about how she didn't feel any connection and wishes me all the best. LOL. Both dates this week said the same thing. Obviously, I won't respond to her, she can be safe in the knowledge she rejected me. :-)

Week 2 of this project has been a tough one.

Bollocks.

MAC
 
MakingAComeback said:
So.....said catfish follows up with a message about how she didn't feel any connection and wishes me all the best
Click to expand...

Next catfish, just walk out of the date immediately.
 
MakingAComeback said:
Could this week of The Phoenix Project get any worse?
Click to expand...

+

MakingAComeback said:
I am having that feeling I get when I begin to think it's impossible for me to find a nice girl. It's a miserable feeling,
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Perfect.

"Don't wish things were better, wish you were better" - Some self-help guru, I think Jim Rohn.

I'm happy you feel miserable. Negative emotions will push you to make better decisions. Self improvement isn't easy man. A few weeks ago I was down with my own lack of results, especially when looking at my 2019's log. But I believe in the process, keep going, and things are moving.

MakingAComeback said:
a true grinder of a 4hr approach session of straight rejections
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No complaining, you gotta put in the hours.

Took you 4 hours to do 10. Cool, it's impossible to take you more moving forward. Budget 3-4 hours a day for cold approaching and shoot for 10. I promise to you, in less than 2 weeks you'll naturally do more.

MakingAComeback said:
I went out in KIngston and volume was not there today, very few women I wanted to approach, they were all so young, they looked like children. 18 year old girls look crazy young to me and I am often not sure they are of age so I skip them.
Click to expand...

Don't skip a lot of those because that's AA talking. Approach them, and if they stay, ask "How old are you by the way, because you seem pretty young". If she's underage, immediately say "You're the cutest girl I saw today but unfortunately you're too young. I wish you a good day". Or you can joke like I do "How about we meet here, 2 years from now?".

Another thing: find an area that has decent volume and make it your spot. I have tried 3 different areas and only 1 is OK. Unless something happens (like yesterday's strike) I approach there. Don't worry about logistics like Mike or any of that shit.

Also, can't you approach inside the stations like Mehlman?

MakingAComeback said:
I also think I may need to make a drastic body transformation and gain a shit tonne of muscle
Click to expand...

That won't be fast unless you go the anabolics route. Tall guys need a lot of time to gain. Your best bet is style + better photos + boosting + cold approaching.

MakingAComeback said:
I wish people didn't catfish like this, it's frustrating as hell.
Click to expand...

You're probably in a few groups so post pictures of the girl and ask guys if they think she's fat. For me, another indication of catfishes is how responsive they are. It's as if, the more they chat online, the more they eat offline or something like that.
 
BACK LIKE COOKED CRACK!!!!!!

Slept it off, man, I was so tired because the date with the pink hair chick led to a semi-sleepness night, I fucked up and had an espresso to keep grinding after the approach session and then stupidly I ordered a cocktail that was caffeinated with her. And cat fishes are annoying anyway. But I am feeling good and ready to attack. Got up, saw the sunrise, drank water, took my supplements, used my red light device, did some stretching, bodyweight training, and now gonna go see my bros. We are gonna chill in Brixton and do some hipster shit. Timmy will have his camera so some social shots may be happening. We shall see eh.

colgate brother next time it happens I'm finna bounce

Crisis_Overcomer hell yeah bro, thank you for the excellent thoughts and coaching here, you are as always right on the money. AA is active as fuck in my brain, but I will shred it away over 6 months of The Phoenix Project, which I think will be a full year (or more) project for me man 2022 is going to be THE breakthrough year.

I can approach in stations, its way more efficient, and I will make that happen.

The body stuff was just me feeling mad insecure at that time, I am going to figure it out but I think I will just get shredded and do tonnes of bodyweight training because TIME is a factor here.

I am taking your advice to heart here g, I need to see my friends and relax today, but tomorrow will do a 4hr approach session, same on Monday, Wednesday, Thurs and then next week I may try and do a very long grinder session on Saturday for like 10hrs.

I will be talking to the man myth and legend Timmy about his photographer, and will get this sorted ASAP. I will get Radical to OK all outfits. I will work on this shit tomorrow.

Thank you to the BASED GREEK GOD as ever and with your help we will RETAKE CONSTANTINOPLE

About to jump in the cold shower, do some light therapy, and get my ass on the train to Brixton

Tomorrow will do my weekly project wrapup vlog

MAC OUT
 
Had a great recharge day, hung out with the boys in London, TimmyTurner , my bro who was in Andy's coaching group, and another legend who is a good friend of mine I met in self improvement. We had a fucking blast, hung out in Brixton and did hipster shit, got a lovely beer in a plush social spot, and we then bounced to get some ramen in a really cool spot we found. Had a shot of sake while we were there and headed down the road to kick back for a bit in a cool looking pub outside Brixton academy. We had a cider there and chopped up for a while.

Laughed our heads off and felt great.

Timmy and our boy are heading out to the bars and clubs, I have now come home to unwind.

Tomorrow will look at rentals in Central London itself, I will find a place me and TimmyTurner can move into. This will mean that I can go EVEN HARDER. There won't be any train into Central every day, which takes 40-50mins each way. I will be able to leave the flat, approach for 3hrs, and walk back home. How good is that. Plus, it's expensive getting the train every day, it can cost 50 a week, so that every week is 200 a month. Instead, could spend 850 on rent a month, keep the rent and bills paid with the job, and save 200 which can then be used on socialising and dating. Could be a hell of a way to go man.

Gonna get an early night and catch up on any missed or lower quality sleep, will be in bed at 930pm.

I am happy and thriving in life, building some great relationships with excellent men I respect and admire, and we are going forward into legendary lives man.

Just shooting the shit and socialising must be part of your life if you're serious about being your best IMO.

MAC
 
MakingAComeback said:
So.....said catfish follows up with a message about how she didn't feel any connection and wishes me all the best. LOL. Both dates this week said the same thing. Obviously, I won't respond to her, she can be safe in the knowledge she rejected me. :-)

Week 2 of this project has been a tough one.

Bollocks.

MAC
Click to expand...

It's funny you say this. Cause the last date I had yesterday same thing. She unfollows me on instagram, but I had already decided she wasn't worth my time. I even said see you around zero physical touch at the end. Lul.

Always fun to kick it with the boys of course. I think location location location is key. I think if it helps time-wise definitely worth it. Keep up the good shit.
 
For sure man, a great dude in the coaching group said something insightful - sometimes they reject you to save face so to speak, because they know you're not feeling it and it triggers something in them to protect their ego as a woman. And that's fine, god bless them, we will find women who are a better fit for us.

The Phoenix Project: Week 2 / Day 10

SUN 21/11/2021

ACTION POINTS

(1) Cold Approach: 10 Approaches in 2hrs
(2) OLD: 1hr Process
(3) Rental: Look at place in Central
(4) Other: Shoot this week's project wraup vlog. Work stuff: project plan, evaluation questionnaire. Stretch, light therapy, bed @ 10pm.

Notes: Got up, saw the sunrise, which was beautiful today. Had breakfast, watched some videos, did some bodyweight training (4 x 25 squats, 4 x 15 pushups), and now about to shower off and do a bit of work. Heading into London to approach intra-station. Will get a quick 10 approaches done and bounce.

Keep hammering,
MAC
 
(1) Cold Approach: 10 Approaches in 2hrs (FAIL, did 5 in 4 miserable hours)**
(2) OLD: 1hr Process
(3) Rental: Look at place in Central
(4) Other: Shoot this week's project wraup vlog. Work stuff: project plan, evaluation questionnaire. Stretch, light therapy, bed @ 10pm.

Notes: Went out to approach, was dead set on doing 10. After the 1st hour, I did 1, then on hour 2, I did 2 more, hour 3 I did a further 2. Hour 4 I was absolutely depressed. All approaches were rejections, but girl 5 was SUPER NICE. I was fucking bummed at this point mind you.

MAC: Hi.
Her: Hi! (super warm and smiley)
MAC: Sorry I've got the wrong person
Her: It's OK (smiles and leaves)

Now, they ghost anyway, and chances are a lovely lady like her has a boyfriend. But I had nothing left to push with.

I sat outside and smoked a cig. I quit for legit 4 years but recently got back to smoking when I was in the Canary Islands as they were cheap AF. I will quit again but right now there is too much going on, it'll be fine. So, when I was smoking, a cute chick came up to me to ask for a lighter. I said yeah, sure, and handed it to her. I said "Sorry, it's a bit shit", and she said "Don't worry, I'm a bit shit at life apparently". Haha. I laughed and said "I'm sure you're not" and she gave me the lighter back, said thanks and I told her to have a good day. She said you too and left. I know I could have asked her for her no, but I was so bummed man. Had nothing left in the tank.

Sat down in Starbucks to get a hot chocolate to perk back up and told myself I will HAVE TO do 5 more. I sank down in the chair exhaled and just sipped a hot chocolate for 20mins. There were 3 ladies sat in front of me, two middle aged women and one of their daughters who looked young, I think either 17 - 18, not sure. She was starring at me the whole time, think she somehow picked up on me being depressed. I had nothing left emotionally was totally flat, exhalig loudly and just sinking deeper and deeper into the chair. The middle aged women turned their heads back to look at me periodically, most likely because they could tell the girl was perhaps a bit smitten. They got up and left, and said girl stood up and really stared deep into my soul. She had some of the most beautiful eyes I've seen in a long time, they were sparkling. I was absolutely bummed and couldn't even appreciate it.

I know I am not allowed to whine, so I will not whine.

All I will say, is that I will keep grinding every fucking day until this becomes better.

Thanks for listening I just wanted to vent.

The AA I have is weird. It's not like I am nervous to talk to people, but my brain fires 500,000 reasons not to approach any girl, "she's too young", "she's too attractive". I just want to approach in peace, for the love of god, I just want to be able to approach in peace! It's like there are two people in me, one is MAC, totally fucking cast iron determination to succeed in life and is willing to drop dead trying, and another absolutely traitorous person who is making anything to do with women as hard as humanly possible just to fuck with me.

In sum, it's fine.

I am gonna have dinner now and take care of other actions.

MAC
 
Please don't take the above to be whining btw.

Whining is complaining about having to work hard.

I HAVE NO PROBLEM WITH THE PAIN AND SUFFERING I WILL NEED TO ENDURE TO FIX MYSELF

It's OK. It's totally OK.

I just need to use my log to tell the truth about everything, there is no use lying, it will not serve me nor anyone else.

One day I will have a successful dating life and will look at at this and smile.

OK, gonna rest because I have worked super hard, will listen to David goggins, and then get back up and grind the rest out.

KEEP HAMMERING,
MAC
 
MakingAComeback said:
Please don't take the above to be whining btw.

Whining is complaining about having to work hard.

I HAVE NO PROBLEM WITH THE PAIN AND SUFFERING I WILL NEED TO ENDURE TO FIX MYSELF

It's OK. It's totally OK.

I just need to use my log to tell the truth about everything, there is no use lying, it will not serve me nor anyone else.

One day I will have a successful dating life and will look at at this and smile.

OK, gonna rest because I have worked super hard, will listen to David goggins, and then get back up and grind the rest out.

KEEP HAMMERING,
MAC
Click to expand...

I look up to you bro, keep at it!
 
s_aint thanks bro for your kind words. I WILL FIND A WAY. I will. In London there are so many stunning women it's unreal. I will not go to my grave without ever having one love me. The Phoenix Project will be absolutely transformat or bust. There is no other option. I will fix myself, I will heal, I will remove whatever is sitting in my brain, deep in my subconscious, trying to sabotage me and hold me back from the pain. I don't actually care anymore. I MUST SUCEED. If I am hustling in the streets all day every day, if I am out there until my feet break, if I'm out there until my knees break, back, whatever, so be it. I don't care. I need to become a man women want to be with. This is now PRIMARY. 'Head issues' are truly the limiter in life I can tell you all this. But there IS a way to heal. We CAN let go. The work of people like Dr Joe Dispenza and Bruce Lipton proves this. I am utilising visualisation and affirmation and will begin to get more seriously into this to enter deep states of ecstasy which will heal myself.

I am a happy and productive man, mostly my identity is that of a total fucking grinder even though I am so low in my love life and so low with women, I know I will one day become something else. Your words encourage me and for this I thank you.

I am very confident I know how to fix myself, very fucking confident indeed. But it will involve extreme grinding and it won't always be pretty. But a day will come when my subconscious will heal and I will be able to sail off into the horizon with my dream gal.

Running Totals:
Cold Approaches: 29
Numbers: 0
Dates: 3
Sexual Encounters: 0

WEEKLY VLOG TO COME

MAC
 
Oh snap, so because I left my camera in my car, where its cold, it's gotten some condensation and is showing up foggy. Did some googling and the issue is common, just needs to be left indoors and the air works the moisture out. I will shoot the week 2 wrapup video tomorrow!
 
Love your attitude. Wish I could help on the AA front. I am blessed to have never had AA due to my upbringing/genetics and it hurts to see guys struggle with and not be able to give advice. All I can say is from what I've seen, exposure therapy helps greatly.
 
pancakemouse Thanks for your support man!! I appreciate it :D I will break it down dude, trust me, I am determined as fuck as a person lol. I am a very very stubborn motherfucker when I need to get something done.......this insane form of AA dies or I do trying to fix it, we can't co-exist because my vision for my life does not allow it.

MON 22/11/2021

ACTION POINTS
(1) Cold Approach: Approach 10 girls (I only have 1 hr 45 mins today)
(2) OLD: 1hr Process
(3) Life Admin: Arrange viewings, message photographer, shoot and upload week 2 wrapup vlog, go home.
(4) Work: Have meetings at different times so it’s a bit tricky to get a solid multiple hr approach session in today, but I will talk to 10 girls today.

Notes: Had a great chat with a dude from a group who had the exact AA I do, and he told me his story, and how he fixed himself. Basically, brute fucking force approaching insane numbers of girls until the wall just broke down.

I will have to do the same thing.

MAC
 
Radical can you comment on the overall activity of the forum? I have noticed views on my log are increasing far faster than they were, I posted I had 40k views a few days ago, and have got a further 2k views since then. People are paying attention to my process.

Are we getting more guests/lurkers?

Is there increasing engagement with the forum overall? What do you make of it.

MAC
 
I said to KillYourInnerLoser like yesterday that we seem to have exploded a bit recently in terms of activity

Nothing close to GLL in the heyday obvs but we are growing for sure. Been a solid year and half of this place running

I figured this would happen as Andy got bigger and covid restrictions started loosening everywhere
 
We will be THE PLACE for hardcore underground men's self improvement in a years time.

Check in-

(1) Cold Approach: Approach 10 girls (I only have 1 hr 45 mins today) (FAIL, 0/9 in 1hr)

I only had 1hr, but FUCK I DID 9!!!!!! My best ever volume.

Had a great chat with a guy from the group on extreme AA, he told me his nightmare tale and his redemption.

Yesterday it took me 4 hrs to do 5 man. Today I smashed out 9 in 1hr flat and now back to work.

All instant rejections, but 2 girls were nice. Inevitably, it's the girls who are seriously gorgeous who are the nicest. One was a smokin' hot Arab chick with long curly hair who was working in the shopping centre, lol, saw her fat ass and went to shoot my shot. He had a boyfriend but she was smilly as fuck, giggly and also there was a bit of sexual tension between us I got a stonk on and she kinda looked at me sexy. It was hot. Bounced. Few more rejections, then super tall blonde chick was walking around, she shot me a sideways glance, I approached her and she was also super nice, laughing and she said she had a boyfriend. Wished me a good day and I did the same.

Back to my car, drove 15mins back to the AirBNB, and now have meetings in 10 mins.

All other actions will come together, arranged 1 viewing for a place in Central for me and Timmy. Gonna email about a further one. Messaged Timmy's photographer who will do an initial call with me.

Then gotta drive home, as tomorrow is my day in the office. Will hustle and work hard tomorrow, rest and relax Tuesday night, then I will come back to Kingston Wednesday morning. Gotta arrive at 1030, as the property viewing is at 12. Will leave my hometown at 830 and hammer down. If the place will work, we'll sort it out. LOCATION is key for Timmy and myself, we need to be where the ladies are.

Will lift some weights this evening, tomorrow evening, and then back to approaching Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Sunday. VOLUME WILL IMPROVE. THE WALL WILL BE BROKEN.

MAC
 
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