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Ravi, Year 3: Self-Improvement Log - Data-Driven, Incremental Growth [DISCIPLINE]

Just got off the phone w/ the gal who is looking for a FWB. We talked for an hour. I could hardly get a word in edgeways. She was very assertive, confident as hell, but very masculine type energy - she talked a fair bit about her own trauma, some early life challenges, and I have talked to girls who had similar stories and found they presented in the same way. They each had the tendency to be dominating in conversation and not give an inch of space.

She was very interesting, is a serial entrepreneur and clearly highly intelligent.

We said we'd be down to hang out at the end of the call, I'll text her, I'm pretty sure she will just ghost as this tends to be the way it goes with women. But if not, I'll get date number 7 man. Will only leave 1.

Wasn't feeling her at all.

Huatle will continue........I am happy to lower my standards for the first year of this.

MAC
 
I was bummed out to read the girl stood you up like that, really not nice of her.
You kept your emotions in check, so thats nicely done. More dates will follow.
 
It was a bit of a bummer but I am grateful I had the opportunity to give it a try! :-)

Gal from the call last night didn't ghost, she suggested we hang out at a Christmas Market on Thursday.

That SHOULD be date #7 man.

MAC
 
MakingAComeback said:
It was a bit of a bummer but I am grateful I had the opportunity to give it a try! :-)

Gal from the call last night didn't ghost, she suggested we hang out at a Christmas Market on Thursday.

That SHOULD be date #7 man.

MAC
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Here's a harsh comment: Are you going to let her control the frame? You've already said she's assertive and masculine. Doing an activity date doesn't sound like a clear path to sex, in my experience.

If you're just trying to "go on dates", that's one thing. Having dates that lead to sex is another.

What I would do... and it may be too late for this if you haven't made any attempts to do so up until this point, is snatch the frame and say you'd like to get a drink with her instead, near your place.
 
Agreed with pancakemouse.

I'll also add that you could be a bit more selective with your dates. You couldn't get a word in during the call, I doubt you'll do in the date. You're not attracted to her plus she's also fat. Serial entrepreneur and highly intelligent are non-feminine qualities as well. She seems to be a pain in the gluteus maximus, frankly.

I'm all for gaining experience, but gain experience with girls you like. Otherwise it's like banging a whale, just so you can increase your notch number.
 
I do not have any other options gentlemen. I have been open and transparent about my dating life and am trying to improve it - girls who are non-obese / very deranged are not quite giving me the light of day. This is all I can get right now.

There may be a day when half decent women are attainable, but I am not there yet. Just want to be honest: my dating life is horrible. It is what it is.

I can only do the best with what I've got, and I ain't got much! ;-)

Thank you for your advice, it is appreciated and well needed too.

The Phoenix Project Week 4 / Day 13
29/11/2021

(1) Cold Approach: 15 Girls (FAIL, went 0/3 - 2 straight rejections, 3rd girl stopped but said she's busy)
(2) OLD: 1 hr process (will execute shortly)
(3) Others: Work, Cold Shower, Core, Light therapy (In Process)

Hard times for MAC.

AA demon was in my head torturing me today. Towards the end of the session I felt so depressed. Saw a few really lovely looking women who I would have loved to talk to but after missing endless opportunities and just being scrambled by this insane process in my head, I just had nothing left. Went home, bummed as hell. The wall was so fucking powerful today even 3 approaches was a miracle.

OLD is not going well. Running 3 boosts a day and no matches. Hinge can be OK, but I am getting a bit sick of interacting with very obese women and undesirables only. I will get a proper shoot, I was not happy with the photographer I was about to book, so it will be a case of finding a better fit.

I know I am myself quite unpleasant to look at but I have alteast lost 50lbs and I am putting in the effort. Furthermore, I am someone who has put intense effort into life and myself, so it can definitely suck having to put forth a lot of energy focus and time to fight for scraps from the very bottom of society. It is fucking awful, truly.

It is what it is. Will be back tomorrow and try again.

If the meeting with the landlord goes OK, and we get this place, I will join the gym and start bodymaxxing again. I must have the body down, current MAC is having a fucking shit go of things despite the weight loss. Damn dude. It's rough.

All I can do is keep on working.........definitely in a lot of pain atm, big time, but I can take it. Nothing new for me. I will find my centre and relax tonight.

https://youtu.be/GHY5g8ff-lU

MAC
 
The question about options is: would you rather have zero, or would you rather have less than zero? The way you've described this woman makes me feel like she'd be a less than zero option. If you are improving yourself (though you think you are shit right now), why does this witch of a woman deserve your time and attention?

Also: I would stop boosting with Tinder until you can get proper photos taken. Not worth the money.
 
I need to get to 8 dates man.

Yes, I am grinding sickeningly hard to improve myself - trust me, you do not know the effort I am putting forth, there is not the time in the day to describe it, I have put EVERYTHING OFF just to focus on my improvement and to stop seeing a god damn lower when I look in the mirror. I am very sick of that feeling.

That said, I will do whatever it takes to get to 8 dates.

I really do not know how I am going to do this.

But I am willing to fail as many times as it will take for a guy like me.

MAC
 
You will get there. You know why I know this? You are physically attractive. IDEAL HEIGHT, good beard genetics, good eye area, nice strong brows, long lashes, good skin. This is ideal for online, so I can't wait until you get your photoshoot done.

Then, once you sort those mental blocks out (obviously, easier said than done), you will be killing it, at least online. And then routinely smashing girls from online will give you the confidence and abundance you need to smash girls from cold approach.
 
pancakemouse said:
You will get there. You know why I know this? You are physically attractive. IDEAL HEIGHT, good beard genetics, good eye area, nice strong brows, long lashes, good skin. This is ideal for online, so I can't wait until you get your photoshoot done.

Then, once you sort those mental blocks out (obviously, easier said than done), you will be killing it.
Click to expand...

Thank you bro, I know you are very knowledgeable in improving men's dating lives, so I am very very grateful for your thoughts. Believe me, I really appreciate it.

I honestly do not see this myself, you don't really want to hear what I see when I look in the mirror (very hideous / beast type of person). But I will not make excuses. I will work with what I've got.

Again, I am here to learn and listen to men who are ahead of me.

I am going to complete the other action points for today and try to be better tomorrow.

MAC
 
The Phoenix Project Week 4 Day 14

Running Totals:
Cold Approaches: 45
Numbers: 0
Dates: 3
Sexual Encounters: 0
 
The Phoenix Project Week 4 / Day 14
1/12/2021

(1) Cold Approach: 15 Girls (FAIL, went 0/6 in 1hr40 mins, began to rain and I went home)
(2) OLD: 1 hr process (will execute shortly)
(3) Others: Work, Cold Shower, Core, Light therapy (In Process)

Notes: Cold approach - feeling absolutely tonnes of negative emotion and experiencing panic attacks. Felt intensely angry, I am not asking for this to be happening, it just happens, a firestorm sets off in my brain and it just explodes.

All good.

Approaches were all instant rejections, couldn't get past hi, apart from one girl who let me speak but was very unreceptive and pissed.

Happy for this to persist as long as it takes, I WILL get better and better and better.............I am so determined to succeed.

Running Totals:
Cold Approaches: 51
Numbers: 0
Dates: 3
Sexual Encounters: 0

Best wishes,
MAC
 
Just had dinner. Will chill for an hour and watch stuff online. Then, will do bodyweight training, order new jeans (I’ve lost more weight and need new ones, go me!), will then watch a stimulating lecture on ancient civilisations and feed my brain. Will then spend an hour stretching and doing structural work. And I will finish off work 45mins of breathwork and light therapy.

Will do affirmations and visualisation before bed.

I have dates tomorrow and friday :D

Really hope the girl tomorrow, who sent me her num on Hinge, is a decent and nice person. She seems so lovely and I enjoyed her profile, she also geeks out on Lord of the Rings and likes 60s soul music (which I am into quite a lot). Will be very happy if we have a good time :-D

MAC
 
MakingAComeback said:
(1) Cold Approach: 15 Girls (FAIL, went 0/6 in 1hr40 mins, began to rain and I went home)

...

Approaches were all instant rejections, couldn't get past hi, apart from one girl who let me speak but was very unreceptive and pissed.
Click to expand...

Looking forward to hearing your audio of these approaches, even if it's just the opener. Recording, listening to myself, and sending to wings and mentors to feedback was key to getting better at daygame for me.
 
For sure man! I will record this and upload it tomorrow :D
 
The hardest part of cold approach is negative emotions. Man its always the roughest. But persistent is better than just getting what you want and never developing that skill. Keep it up
 
Thanks Jacob man, will keep grinding as always lol. I am really looking forward to the day when we've turned this around.

So the landlord will be meeting me and Timmy on Friday, we hope they like us, if they do, we are getting this apartment and life will get SO much better man. I will be back in the gym, on a comprehensive wellness regime with my nutritional approach laid out clearly. And I'll approach a tonne! Will do photos every month with Timmy and our boy Carl. Things will improve a lot man.

I am leaner, still need to lose more weight to get properly shredded, think it'll be a case of shredding another 20lbs tbh! But from there, we build up muscle and this will be a different type of story.

MAC
 
The Phoenix Project Week 4 / Day 14
02/11/2021

(1) OLD: 1hr Process
(2) Go on Date #7: Texted her now, she confirmed, and will before I leave. Really excited to meet her :)
(3) Other: Work, Core, BW Training, Cold Shower, Light Therapy, and DIVERSIONS

Hey gents.

Woke up today and noticed my mood was a bit lower. I have been stressing lately with The Phoenix Project, so in order to build myself back up today, I am going to be spending several hours doing psychologically diverting activity. Things like studying Spanish, reading books, stuff like that. This recentres the mind and totally brings stillness. This is important today, as I was working with a lot of adrenaline yesterday and did have panic attacks - not good! Slept well, dusted off, but must really engage my brain now.

No cold approach today. I'll go approach tomorrow. Today is about re-balancing the psyche and taking this lovely lady for a drink tonight which I am stoked for :-)

Tomorrow, Timmy and I meet the landlord, FINALLY - the landlord is so busy that I think if me and Timmy come across well, we should get a shot at getting this rental. She doesn't have much time to see people, so I THINK we'll be good.

Also, I will be going on a date tomorrow, so that'll be date #8 all things said man.

At that point, I will have accomplished my goal for my first year at KYIL. I lost a tonne of weight to not be obese anymore, and I would have gone from 0 dates to fucking 8! MAJOR ACHIVEMENT. FUCK.

I was so stressed lately my mood dipped, so today I will hammer my pyshce with stimulating mental input and bring myself back up.

I'm heading back to my hometown for the weekend, will check out the AirBNB and if all is well, I will have secured a rental for a year in Central London.

Thereafter, we really hammer it. I will put together an overall process / day diary for how I will deliver The Phoenix Project.


6 Core & Red Light Therapy (Say Affirmations)
630 Gym (The gym is a 7 minute walk from the rental we're looking at) & Audibook
745 Breakfast
815 Head Massage
830-12 Work
12 Cold Approach (4hrs)
4 Dinner / Head Massage
5 Diversion: Spanish / Light Therapy
6 Diversion: Guitar
7 OLD: 1hr Swiping, Boosts, Messaging, Liking, Etc (300-500 Profiles Liked on each app: Tinder, Bumble, Hinge) / Listen to Music
8 Diversion: Creative Writing
9 Diversion: Daily Vlogs of The Phoenix Project - Shoot & Upload (Unlisted Videos)
10 Read: Self Dev
1030 BED: Visualisations

That will be the basic process I will be executing 4 x a week.

Two days will be 'off' and will be composed of socialising with friends and just regenrating.

VICTORY MUST COME.

MAC
 
Date 7 done.

She was sweet, nice gal, lovely person. But, she catfished. She was a bigger girl on her pics. IRL, she was a total fatty.

Saw her and my heart sank.

Had a great time on the date because she was a wicked person and I liked her personality. She was a great gal for sure. She did offer to buy me a drink, which was sweet, but I got the bill in the end. I tried to hold her hand at the end, which she shrugged off. Went for a kiss, she rebuffed and kissed my cheek.

Will text her thanking her for a great evening, because it was a great evening with a lovely lady. But she was very overweight and I was not attracted to her.

Wish her all the best, she will no doubt find a great dude, but it won't be me. I also am not sure she is interested, I did tell her I'd be up to see her again, and she said she would too. But yeah, I'm sure this will be a case of receiving a text in a few days saying 'i DiDnT fEeL aNy cOnNecTion?1!"

Is it likely this chick would have sex with me? No. Would I even want to? No.

So annoying going to lovely bars where there's guys sat there with lovely looking women and I am dating totally obese chicks every fucking time. Ugh.

Tomorrow, if the girl doesn't flake, it's date 8. She is a fatty and has a horrible personality. I am just doing this to get to date 8.

Thereafter, I will figure something out.

Not loving it really. But it's progress. If I keep levelling up, I have a chance at better women.

I still suck fucking shit. And that's alright. I will do what it takes to be better.

MAC
 
MakingAComeback said:
Tomorrow, if the girl doesn't flake, it's date 8. She is a fatty and has a horrible personality. I am just doing this to get to date 8.

Thereafter, I will figure something out.

Not loving it really. But it's progress. If I keep levelling up, I have a chance at better women.
Click to expand...

I'm still going to push back on this.

What is the POINT of using these dates to achieve an arbitrary goal if it brings you nothing other than wasting your time and putting you in a bad mood?

Goals are supposed to progress you towards something. What is this accomplishing?

P. S. spotting secret internet fatties is a skill developed over many years of analysis. I'm very good at it. You can run photos past me next time if you want.
 
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