• Welcome to the forums, Guest. Please note that you must make a post in the introduction thread and upload an avatar to gain full access to the forums.

Ravi, Year 3: Self-Improvement Log - Data-Driven, Incremental Growth [DISCIPLINE]

My proposed goals for 2022, thoughts welcome..........

MAC: 2022 GOALS (Year 2 of Self Improvement)

(1) Love, Intimacy & Connection: Go from 0 to 15 Lays In 2022
Processes: (A) Online Dating: 1hr Process Daily, (B) Cold Approach 15 Girls 5 Days Per Week.

(2) Body Transformation: Transform Physique
Processes: (A) Gym 4 x Per Week, (B) Follow Nutrition & Lifestyle Program

(3) Social Freedom: Destroy AA & Thrive Socially
Processes: (A) Cold Approach 15 Girls 5 Days Per Week, (B) Socialise, Date, and Enjoy Life w/ Friends, Family, and Women I Date.

And that’ll be that!

What are people’s thoughts on this?

Remember, I have had sex once in my life, with a high class escort like 2 months before my 30th birthday.

I am really, really unsure I can do this.

It feels terrifying just writing this. But I will have to figure it out.

I felt the same level of fear about my goal of 8 dates, I thought no girl would ever want to go on a date with me, and when I was stood waiting for the girls on dates often I would be convinced they took one look at me and went home LOL. But by date number 8, I got more confident, more relaxed, and they got better.

I am very edgy about this, but I must work it out somehow. 2022 must be the year. It’s now or never. Make or break. The first year is the red shirt year, just building a platform. I must now change myself deeply and actually have success with women.

The rubber has to meet the road somewhere. A war is about to begin…………and I am going to have to really up my game man, will have to get totally ripped, will have to work very hard in the gym and have a perfect diet, take care of myself in every day, because I really must figure this out.

MAC
 
MakingAComeback said:
My proposed goals for 2022, thoughts welcome..........

MAC: 2022 GOALS (Year 2 of Self Improvement)

(1) Love, Intimacy & Connection: Go from 0 to 15 Lays In 2022
Processes: (A) Online Dating: 1hr Process Daily, (B) Cold Approach 15 Girls 5 Days Per Week.

(2) Body Transformation: Transform Physique
Processes: (A) Gym 4 x Per Week, (B) Follow Nutrition & Lifestyle Program

(3) Social Freedom: Destroy AA & Thrive Socially
Processes: (A) Cold Approach 15 Girls 5 Days Per Week, (B) Socialise, Date, and Enjoy Life w/ Friends, Family, and Women I Date.

And that’ll be that!

What are people’s thoughts on this?

Remember, I have had sex once in my life, with a high class escort like 2 months before my 30th birthday.

I am really, really unsure I can do this.

It feels terrifying just writing this. But I will have to figure it out.

I felt the same level of fear about my goal of 8 dates, I thought no girl would ever want to go on a date with me, and when I was stood waiting for the girls on dates often I would be convinced they took one look at me and went home LOL. But by date number 8, I got more confident, more relaxed, and they got better.

I am very edgy about this, but I must work it out somehow. 2022 must be the year. It’s now or never. Make or break. The first year is the red shirt year, just building a platform. I must now change myself deeply and actually have success with women.

The rubber has to meet the road somewhere. A war is about to begin…………and I am going to have to really up my game man, will have to get totally ripped, will have to work very hard in the gym and have a perfect diet, take care of myself in every day, because I really must figure this out.

MAC
Click to expand...

Those sound like great goals to me. Definitely really ambitious but that's a good thing. I'm thinking about setting similar goals as well for next year. The only thing I'd add is to also possibly incorporate meeting women in more 'natural' settings, like through classes, hobbies, shared interests, etc. I know you have a strong interest in spirituality and stuff like that, I assume there would be lots of organizations in London you could join and meet women who might be more likely to have stuff in common with you.
 
MakingAComeback said:
MAC: 2022 GOALS (Year 2 of Self Improvement)

(1) Love, Intimacy & Connection: Go from 0 to 15 Lays In 2022
Processes: (A) Online Dating: 1hr Process Daily, (B) Cold Approach 15 Girls 5 Days Per Week.

(2) Body Transformation: Transform Physique
Processes: (A) Gym 4 x Per Week, (B) Follow Nutrition & Lifestyle Program

(3) Social Freedom: Destroy AA & Thrive Socially
Processes: (A) Cold Approach 15 Girls 5 Days Per Week, (B) Socialise, Date, and Enjoy Life w/ Friends, Family, and Women I Date.

And that’ll be that!

What are people’s thoughts on this?
Click to expand...

You can definetly reach this 2022 especially if this Covid shit goes away. However, you really need to put in the effort on cold approaching, no bullshitting, take all the help you need. There is no other way but the rewards in terms of confidence will be rock solid.
Also solid fitness goal. Will you realistically be able to set aside time for this since you do have a job?
 
MAC,
I love reading your log. You talk all the time of having the wife and kids as the endgame goal. If you want to make moves towards that I suggest a goal somewhat in line with that. May I humbly suggest as a goal to one keep on the path to getting laid. However I recommend making plate retention a goal. Who cares if in 2022 you only sleep with only 3 people? If all 3 keep coming back every 2 days you'll be a sex maniac.
Anyways just a thought - I've been mulling around some 2022 goals myself so if you see me posting something similry thats why.
 
MakingAComeback said:
MAC: 2022 GOALS (Year 2 of Self Improvement)
Click to expand...

Your approach goal needs modifying.

Doing 15/day at your current level might be impossible and make you hate life. And, if you stay the course and lower AA, 15/day 3 months from now will be a joke.

I'll suggest finding a best case scenario based on your volume and available time. Then make that number your goal. Example:

* you're willing to approach 3 hours each day
* you see 15-20 cute girls per hour at your spot

Your goal should be to eventually do 45-60 approaches per day. This is how I think about it. You increase work capacity by missing fewer and fewer opportunities and each hour you invest is more bang-for-your-future-bangs.

Also:

MakingAComeback said:
Go from 0 to 15 Lays In 2022
Click to expand...

Most guys would disagree but I wouldn't set a numeric goal such as this one in your case. You have no clear idea of what processes you need to follow to get one lay, let alone 15. I'd suggest revisiting this goal when you get 3-5 lays. You'll know how much effort you need to put in (generally speaking) and then can better reverse engineer the process.

Sprezza said:
You can definetly reach this 2022 especially if this Covid shit goes away.
Click to expand...

Eh, we got at least two more years (Google "Lindy Effect")

Dewm said:
However I recommend making plate retention a goal.
Click to expand...

That's not a goal that can be based 100% on his behaviors though. Don't get me wrong, I'd love for somebody to tell me "do these 5 things and a girl is 90% likely to plate," but it doesn't work this way in the real world. His best bet is being a decent human being, going on an obscene amount of dates, having sex with multiple women, and then some of them will stick around.
 
I would kindly advise you to set a goal for 10 lays, if you're really dead-set on picking a number. 10 lays per year = 1 lay per month with two months room to get going/deal with a dip. You're going to need to figure out how to go from dates to sex. It will take time.

I remember when I started trying to get laid, my date-to-lay ratio was 2:1, including girls who came over straight to my place. You would need at least 30 dates (almost one per week) to hit your lay goal. And honestly, your ratio will probably be worse than 2:1.

Consider this your redshirt year, take it easy on yourself.

Crisis_Overcomer said:
That's not a goal that can be based 100% on his behaviors though. Don't get me wrong, I'd love for somebody to tell me "do these 5 things and a girl is 90% likely to plate," but it doesn't work this way in the real world. His best bet is being a decent human being, going on an obscene amount of dates, having sex with multiple women, and then some of them will stick around.
Click to expand...

It does change your mindset going in. For example, since my goal is a rotation of 3 chicks, I say no to tons of potential dates or new lays, simply because I prioritize seeing my "plates" over getting new lays. If my goal was to reach 100 lays, that would be different. I would also spend much more time on Tinder.

But it's true that if you're starting from zero, you need to get laid as much as possible. I would advise MakingAComeback to chase as much skirt as possible, and keep one girl around to practice sex with. Similar to Chris's "get a girlfriend to get sexual experience" advice.
 
Hey gents,

Thanks for all the thoughts, I've considered all what you've said:

  • Dating goals are very ambitious
  • Natural places to meet women: hobbies, activities, etc
  • Working hard on cold approach will be very important for overall confidence
  • Time constraints: Work has been reduced to 20hrs per week, so I can definitely perse self improvement
  • Plate retention: I am very keen to retain all girls I see to be frank, anyone who I have sex with, I would like to see me as many times and for as long as they would want
  • Cold approach: May be worth considering a goal to just approach for 3hrs 5 x a week due to my insane AA
  • Revising goal: Interim Goal: 3 Lays - Year Goal: 10 Lays

I think I captured all of what you said.

I am happy to draft a revised set of goals.

I know it will be challenging, and I totally am realistic, I know it will not be easy for a person like me at all.

That's OK. I will have to deal with what I have got and do the best I can.

If I understand the red shirt year correctly, this is the year where we lay the groundwork, so for some it may just be weight loss. I would say that was my first year, and in March 2022, I will be entering year 2 of self improvement.

I must find some sort of way to actually get laid, it does not make sense going years and years just where I am.

I have absolutely no idea how I am going to do this at all. But I am going to try my best.

MAC
 
MakingAComeback said:
  • Cold approach: May be worth considering a goal to just approach for 3hrs 5 x a week due to my insane AA



MAC
Click to expand...

I would not recommend setting that as a cold approach goal. I think the 15/day goal is better. I'm still very much a beginner at cold approach, but I do have experience in getting over (most of) my approach anxiety. The only way I was able to do it was by literally forcing myself to approach every single day, including (and in fact, typically) "difficult" approaches, like approaching groups from behind in crosswalks on the street where the girl had headphones in, etc. The only way to get over the anxiety is to just face it. At the beginning I would be physically shaking, heart pounding super fast and unable to form coherent sentences. You can even own the anxiety during the approach and just say I'm really nervous right now but just had to come up to you because I think you're attractive, etc. The truth is anxiety is just a physical sensation like pain and if you can detach from attaching your identity to it and just observe it as a sensation, it goes away pretty quickly. But in the beginning, yeah it's normal to have near-panic attack levels of anxiety. If you're truly having extreme, severe panic attacks by the medical definition, though, like extreme chest pain, faintness, or things like that, medication could be an option, possibly a beta blocker or low dose benzodiazepine although I'm not a doctor. Otherwise, yeah, having a ton of anxiety is normal and exposure and recognizing it as just a sensation is the best way to deal with it.
 
Hey MAC,
Did you ever do the AA program? Wondering if you just went straight to approaching or if you did do it what your thoughts were?
 
Thanks gents! I will keep pushing with cold approach.

I have a tonne of AA, but it's weird. I am having panic attacks, but they're limited symptom attacks - I am not breathing hard, no blurred vision, nothing of that sort. It's just my emotions are dialed wayyyy the fuck up and my mind is racing like mad. But, if I keep approaching, hour after hour, at hour 3, I begin to feel.....peace.....fleeting moments of stillness. I just don't care.

I would be open to doing the AA program guys. Either I do the AA program, or I just plow through and beast it.

Andy doesn't always have dudes do the AA program, some just dive in.

I am open to either way.

MAC
 
Timmy and I have secured a flat in Central London.

We move in next Friday, and we go fucking BEASTMODE.

Cold approach 5 x a week, OLD will go hard as fuck (I have a professional shoot on Thursday), will have to hit the bars and clubs too.

I will go all out and do all I possibly can to get to my goals.

I will finalise the goals, just waiting on thoughts from the coaching group.

MAC
 
Hahaa! Thanks man. Professional shoot on Thursday man after I have lost 15lbs since my last pics, really hope they improve my OLD outcomes and secure me more matches.

Once Timmy and I move in man, I am going full out beastmode, my friend Matt who approaches also will be 8 mins walk away too so I will have plenty of dudes to approach with, hit the clubs with, and we are all hustling so hard on getting a great dating life it will be awesome.

Gym will be a 7 minute walk from the apartment, I will settle into a routine of straight focused savagery getting my dating life where I need it.

MAC
 
Congrats on the apartment my dude!

Crush that photoshoot and I'm sure your online game will rise to elite levels. Having lays under your belt just helps your overall confidence rise.

I only ask about the AA program cause well I just finished it so I'm a big fan. Andy has talked about experimenting with creating a new one maybe you'll be in the 1st round of testing if that goes live soon. In the past I just remember being close to what you talked about in numbers. I would go into a store or the street and FORCE myself to stay there until I talked to one person. It was 99% rejection from the few I did approach, but the one time a girl did stop and talk I didn't know how to engage in conversation and just said "ok thanks bye" and left. The program built in me small success' around the rejections. While the Milestone day is day 46 I think by day 32-34ish you're probably ready to really approach however the exposure of the next week or two acts as a therapy for when the training wheels come off. I think day 1 and 2 is just saying you'll do the program, small steps, day 4 is when it starts to do drills, and it's small stuff like "hey do you have the time?" super easy. Not that much different than saying "hi" to 5 girls.
The reason 46 days of training helped me succeed was the outcome independence instilled in the program. It's a weird monk mode where you're not allowed to hit on girls until the program is done. In the program too it encourages online dating which, with your new pics, should be improving, and getting you laid, and gaining you confidence.
Personally after finishing Chris' I'm very curious to see if Andy does make his own and how different it would be. Could it be shorter? Could it be longer? It was written in 2013-14ish i think. Maybe it needs an update? Should it be followed to the letter of what's written or loosely to help you on your own unique path? I don't know. I wish I had more answers but from personal experience doing something like it with small achievable goals, outcome independence, and exposure therapy really helped me.

Anyway just my 2 cents take it for what it's worth. I'm infinitely happy for you and seeing you making these amazing moves in your life.
 
Dewm said:
Congrats on the apartment my dude!

Crush that photoshoot and I'm sure your online game will rise to elite levels. Having lays under your belt just helps your overall confidence rise.

I only ask about the AA program cause well I just finished it so I'm a big fan. Andy has talked about experimenting with creating a new one maybe you'll be in the 1st round of testing if that goes live soon. In the past I just remember being close to what you talked about in numbers. I would go into a store or the street and FORCE myself to stay there until I talked to one person. It was 99% rejection from the few I did approach, but the one time a girl did stop and talk I didn't know how to engage in conversation and just said "ok thanks bye" and left. The program built in me small success' around the rejections. While the Milestone day is day 46 I think by day 32-34ish you're probably ready to really approach however the exposure of the next week or two acts as a therapy for when the training wheels come off. I think day 1 and 2 is just saying you'll do the program, small steps, day 4 is when it starts to do drills, and it's small stuff like "hey do you have the time?" super easy. Not that much different than saying "hi" to 5 girls.
The reason 46 days of training helped me succeed was the outcome independence instilled in the program. It's a weird monk mode where you're not allowed to hit on girls until the program is done. In the program too it encourages online dating which, with your new pics, should be improving, and getting you laid, and gaining you confidence.
Personally after finishing Chris' I'm very curious to see if Andy does make his own and how different it would be. Could it be shorter? Could it be longer? It was written in 2013-14ish i think. Maybe it needs an update? Should it be followed to the letter of what's written or loosely to help you on your own unique path? I don't know. I wish I had more answers but from personal experience doing something like it with small achievable goals, outcome independence, and exposure therapy really helped me.

Anyway just my 2 cents take it for what it's worth. I'm infinitely happy for you and seeing you making these amazing moves in your life.
Click to expand...

I love this Dewm and I am really fucking happy you have cracked your AA so well, stoked for your first CA lay and hope there are many more to come!

I mean, given I am out there approaching for 3 hours, I could do the AA program for the first hour and then maybe just straight up approach for the following 2 hours - I don't know.

I think it might be really useful for me. I am definitely receptive to this. And of course, if Andy wants to pilot a new AA program, I am VERY DOWN.

I am going to get my outfits worked out tomorrow, and also plan the pics, and then Thursday I have found a great photographer to help me present my best self online. I think she will be able to get me some solid pics, and it'll be some incremental progress for my OLD I think :-)

Thanks for your posts Dewm you have been such a help.

MAC
 
The Phoenix Project Week 5 / Day 16

Today was all about securing the flat in Central London. Location is king, and we now have a solid ass location!

I have also booked a professional shoot for Thursday.

I will put my outfits together and post them tomorrow.

I have now come back to my hometown, my move in date is next week Friday 17th is the move in date and we're there for 12 months of absolute grinding to become successful with women and dating, so right now, I will focus on gym, dieting, improving style, OLD photoshoots, and moving relating stuff so next Friday I can move right in and kick the whole process back off.

I will work out ways to do some approaches also. We know approaching in my hometown is dire, lol. I can go to the surrounding cities and just approach for the sake of rewiring my brain.

That's the best I can do right now gents. I can jump in the car and find a club night solo on Friday back to what I used to do in the days of the true struggle before I went to London lol......We have 10 days before the move in date so I will just maximise my mind body and soul for the journey ahead. I will find a way to do approaches also, but the real war begins following moving in.

MAC
 
MakingAComeback said:
I mean, given I am out there approaching for 3 hours, I could do the AA program for the first hour and then maybe just straight up approach for the following 2 hours - I don't know.
Click to expand...

This is a good idea, I used to do something similar and took the pressure off of actually approaching. I did drills on a couple girls and then managed to open subsequent ones. I think I even transitioned into opening a girl while asking her for the time once.
 
Thanks King Colgate.

This may be the way we go forward man. We have a little bit of time to work these things out before the move in date.

MAC
 
MakingAComeback said:
I have also booked a professional shoot for Thursday.

I will put my outfits together and post them tomorrow.
Click to expand...

Good call. Also post the pics you want the photographer to emulate. Once you post, I'll comment some tips for the photoshoot. Perhaps MILFandCookies can too
 
Rags2Bitches said:
MakingAComeback said:
I have also booked a professional shoot for Thursday.

I will put my outfits together and post them tomorrow.
Click to expand...

Good call. Also post the pics you want the photographer to emulate. Once you post, I'll comment some tips for the photoshoot. Perhaps @MILFandCookies can too
Click to expand...

Ah brother thank you for your kind offer, I know you are the fucking man when it comes to this shit, and I will take you up on your generosity here! It is massively appreciated.

Killing it at work today man, feeling good as a motherfucker.........

Life is good when your working hard and being effective.

Andy and Radical both said I can get 10 lays in 2022, and I know you are all gonna push me LOL

We will do this.

I am still feeling great after my date, big time. At work surrounded by people, I feel happy.

MAC
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top