jeagle63
Member
- Joined
- Sep 14, 2022
Hey, my name's Jordan. I used to be a hardcore gamer, I basically only lived to play the one game I was very good at and addicted to, because I loved being praised as one of the best players by people and back then I didn't care about the consequences of not making friends in person and experiencing things because I assumed the game would be great forever.
update on 30/01/2023: I changed my name for the log to ReachKid because the other one I had sounded kinda weird, and I'm nostalgic as fuck for reach, my favourite game of all time. Bit random but it'll work.
Looking back now this post is kinda long so sorry in advance lol.
Lockdown changed my perspective, and by about April 2021 I had almost stopped playing my game of choice because it had become awful and unplayable. Very naively at this time, I created a tinder account whilst on a trip to London and assumed with my average photos that I could get matches. I got a few likes, but couldn't match with any, and over the next few weeks I started to get really depressed, not just because I couldn't get matches but because I thought I'd wasted my entire life. In hindsight, I was only 23 when I had this realization, and I'm only 24 now and the amount of stuff I've done between now and then is already more than I thought I ever could. I am very excited for the future, and try my hardest to stay optimistic.
Throughout May 21-now I've worked primarily on experiencing new things and crushing my social anxiety. I used to get nervous going to the supermarket on my own, and barely talked to anyone whilst I was in Uni, never went to any social events/seminars etc. So I wanted to change all of this, but also I wanted to start getting girls. And since then, I went travelling, joined back to Uni, took a bunch of drugs (which I really don't recommend, it set me back albeit fun in the moment), got off all the drugs, and started working in a nightclub. Working in the nightclub has not only made things like eye contact second nature, talking to people easy, etc, it also proved to me I can be good at something other than the only thing I was ever good at before, and that's been a massive confidence/ego boost and got me out of depression almost completely.
So far so good.
But the only problem is since May 21 I've only been with 1 girl, (the furthest we got was cuddling under my bedsheets) and she was set up for me by our mutual friend group, I wasn't really that attracted to her and it fizzled out pretty quickly. I made friends with a lot of girls last year but always platonically, I never could express feelings or actually ask a girl on a date. I got into the mindset that because I was a virgin (had 1 girlfriend a long time ago in High school but we didn't pass 3rd base), girls in clubs or at Uni wouldn't want to sleep with me. I only wanted to approach girls at clubs but the thought of actually doing so whilst I was there terrified me and just made me feel awful later when I was home, sobering up and hadn't made any progress again.
Even the first time I discovered no fap and decided that it was a good idea, first try I lasted 2 months, was frustrated all the time with genuine attraction towards people I kept meeting/seeing in person yet I didn't do anything. When I finally couldn't take it any more, I fantasized about a girl I liked at work and after doing it regretted it immediately. After my cousin took me to a strip club it was probably the hottest experience of my life up to this point, and led me to seeing like 5-6 escorts over the next few months. But then I moved back home to my mums over summer, and because I didn't want to spend money on sex anymore; and now I had yet another excuse to not approach girls/try and find a girlfriend, I ultimately got back into porn and fantasizing about the dream of me being able to get girls and sleep with them.
It was during one session I was on reddit and found a link to this website and the tinder guide, and once I read through it and all the other articles, it started to motivate me again. But I knew that reading it once wouldn't help so I kept it open, looked at the site on and off for about 2 weeks, and decided that ultimately I need people to hold me accountable or I'll never make progress.
The "I can't get laid because..." article cuts me deep, because in the past I've said:
- I've never been clubbing/never drank alcohol so girls won't like me
- I'm a virgin so girls won't like me
- I've never done anything interesting so girls won't like me
- I'm skinny so girls won't like me
- and so on.
Well, now I literally work in a nightclub and have been working on cutting down how much I drink, I've slept with 5-6 escorts and have had experience but not sex with 2 girls before, I've been travelling on my own multiple times, and I've been going to the gym and seen small results so far.
So it's time to cut the bullshit.
It's september and I move to my new house at the start of October, so:
My goals:
- Sex, whether that be through tinder, social groups, cold approach, whatever.
- I know I can approach girls in person, I talk to hundreds of them every night in the club when I serve them drinks, its easy. Any excuse is in my head. I want to approach girls in person, explicitly let them know my intentions, take them on fun activity dates, and then have sex.
- Keep improving my tinder/hinge/bumble profiles, and buy boosts occasionally to help, although I want to use my money for more things in-person rather than online.
- Goto salsa classes, take up climbing, try other sports I've not done before. Been putting these off for ages for like no reason.
- Stop using words like hopefully I can do this, or maybe I can do this. I know I can do this.
- Finish my masters course at University and smash it.
Wish me luck guys, when I can I'll update with any progress reports. I think Andy said in one article "If I can have all this, why can't you?", also noting he used to be depressed and have low self-esteem, so I really have no excuses.
update on 30/01/2023: I changed my name for the log to ReachKid because the other one I had sounded kinda weird, and I'm nostalgic as fuck for reach, my favourite game of all time. Bit random but it'll work.
Looking back now this post is kinda long so sorry in advance lol.
Lockdown changed my perspective, and by about April 2021 I had almost stopped playing my game of choice because it had become awful and unplayable. Very naively at this time, I created a tinder account whilst on a trip to London and assumed with my average photos that I could get matches. I got a few likes, but couldn't match with any, and over the next few weeks I started to get really depressed, not just because I couldn't get matches but because I thought I'd wasted my entire life. In hindsight, I was only 23 when I had this realization, and I'm only 24 now and the amount of stuff I've done between now and then is already more than I thought I ever could. I am very excited for the future, and try my hardest to stay optimistic.
Throughout May 21-now I've worked primarily on experiencing new things and crushing my social anxiety. I used to get nervous going to the supermarket on my own, and barely talked to anyone whilst I was in Uni, never went to any social events/seminars etc. So I wanted to change all of this, but also I wanted to start getting girls. And since then, I went travelling, joined back to Uni, took a bunch of drugs (which I really don't recommend, it set me back albeit fun in the moment), got off all the drugs, and started working in a nightclub. Working in the nightclub has not only made things like eye contact second nature, talking to people easy, etc, it also proved to me I can be good at something other than the only thing I was ever good at before, and that's been a massive confidence/ego boost and got me out of depression almost completely.
So far so good.
But the only problem is since May 21 I've only been with 1 girl, (the furthest we got was cuddling under my bedsheets) and she was set up for me by our mutual friend group, I wasn't really that attracted to her and it fizzled out pretty quickly. I made friends with a lot of girls last year but always platonically, I never could express feelings or actually ask a girl on a date. I got into the mindset that because I was a virgin (had 1 girlfriend a long time ago in High school but we didn't pass 3rd base), girls in clubs or at Uni wouldn't want to sleep with me. I only wanted to approach girls at clubs but the thought of actually doing so whilst I was there terrified me and just made me feel awful later when I was home, sobering up and hadn't made any progress again.
Even the first time I discovered no fap and decided that it was a good idea, first try I lasted 2 months, was frustrated all the time with genuine attraction towards people I kept meeting/seeing in person yet I didn't do anything. When I finally couldn't take it any more, I fantasized about a girl I liked at work and after doing it regretted it immediately. After my cousin took me to a strip club it was probably the hottest experience of my life up to this point, and led me to seeing like 5-6 escorts over the next few months. But then I moved back home to my mums over summer, and because I didn't want to spend money on sex anymore; and now I had yet another excuse to not approach girls/try and find a girlfriend, I ultimately got back into porn and fantasizing about the dream of me being able to get girls and sleep with them.
It was during one session I was on reddit and found a link to this website and the tinder guide, and once I read through it and all the other articles, it started to motivate me again. But I knew that reading it once wouldn't help so I kept it open, looked at the site on and off for about 2 weeks, and decided that ultimately I need people to hold me accountable or I'll never make progress.
The "I can't get laid because..." article cuts me deep, because in the past I've said:
- I've never been clubbing/never drank alcohol so girls won't like me
- I'm a virgin so girls won't like me
- I've never done anything interesting so girls won't like me
- I'm skinny so girls won't like me
- and so on.
Well, now I literally work in a nightclub and have been working on cutting down how much I drink, I've slept with 5-6 escorts and have had experience but not sex with 2 girls before, I've been travelling on my own multiple times, and I've been going to the gym and seen small results so far.
So it's time to cut the bullshit.
It's september and I move to my new house at the start of October, so:
My goals:
- Sex, whether that be through tinder, social groups, cold approach, whatever.
- I know I can approach girls in person, I talk to hundreds of them every night in the club when I serve them drinks, its easy. Any excuse is in my head. I want to approach girls in person, explicitly let them know my intentions, take them on fun activity dates, and then have sex.
- Keep improving my tinder/hinge/bumble profiles, and buy boosts occasionally to help, although I want to use my money for more things in-person rather than online.
- Goto salsa classes, take up climbing, try other sports I've not done before. Been putting these off for ages for like no reason.
- Stop using words like hopefully I can do this, or maybe I can do this. I know I can do this.
- Finish my masters course at University and smash it.
Wish me luck guys, when I can I'll update with any progress reports. I think Andy said in one article "If I can have all this, why can't you?", also noting he used to be depressed and have low self-esteem, so I really have no excuses.
Just got mine on Friday.
