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ReachKid's log - Positive focus

Just accept that mistakes are inevitable.

You will make a million no matter how hard you try not to.

Get your conversations reviewed by advanced guys and try to learn from your mistakes.
 
jeagle63 said:
Does anyone have any tips on how to not be so hard on yourself for making mistakes?

Earlier on I messed up a tinder match conversation, I was flirting and I thought she said she would be down to chill tonight. I asked her location and she said it's not far from mine, but I pushed too hard to go out first for a drink and she just ignored me. I feel like I actually should have been direct and ask her straight to mine, because my intentions would have been clearer even if she still ignored me.

That happening though made me upset, I used a boost got a couple extra matches, but as I said a few logs ago I've been slipping up again going on porn dopamine binges. Afterwards today I cried for hours, beating myself again for going back when I hadn't missed it for months.

Next week I'm going to try some digital/phone free days when I go out to Uni and shopping, because spending too much time on my phone affects my mental health and it's probably why I'm feeding the porn monster. I hate that demon so much and I bet most of you can relate.

On a very positive note though I'm getting very into techno recently and been checking out events in my city, and it's been a massive breath of fresh air. I'm having so much fun going out again.
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Squilliam Is on point. I would also view SpicyBoi 's log. He gave me some great advice about ramping up your activity until you get to the point where you don't sweat a single woman.

Also, if you aren't already, make sure you're investing in mindset improvements. Emotional health will be crucial to your growth and resiliency.
 
I'm going to try and log once a day from now on even if I don't really have much to say.
Today is day 1 of this daily log.

Today I watched the video on overcoming hopelessness on the healthgamergg channel. I don't think I am hopeless, but nonetheless watching the video was powerful and I was able to recognize myself doing some of the things the client in the video was. I also bought on amazon the book on overcoming negative thoughts, and have been reading and re-reading the EasyPeasy method because I realized in the past my attempts to quit porn were successful because I got a burst of motivation / burst of willpower, which the book notes you don't need as you don't need willpower to stay away from poison.

Overall I feel a bit dissapointed in my progress it feels like Ive taken quite a few steps back but, I know things will be ok. My cousin is going to help me with a tinder photoshoot on Monday, and unlike previous friends I did this with he's gotten quite a lot from tinder so I'm going to put effort into it and enjoy the process.
 
jeagle63 said:
I'm going to try and log once a day from now on even if I don't really have much to say.
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Good idea. Works really good for me.
There is a different mentality when you know you must post each and every day. Better get some action.
Good luck!

Red
 
Day 2 of daily log

Last night I had afters back at mine, raving with a couple of my friends and had fun.

I think that I would like to return to therapy. I wouldn't say that I feel hopeless or super depressed/anxious all the time anymore. I also think my self-esteem is pretty decent nowadays. As these were the goals of my therapy before, I felt at the time it was worth ending my sessions. However there's still a few things surrounding confidence that I think it would be beneficial to work through.

With some things in life (mainly navigation) I feel like an expert, I feel in control. If someone was going to argue with me about directions or something related to travel/transport, I'm confident in myself that I would be able to straight up say You're wrong, and deal with any confrontation from it. I have no imposter syndrome, because this is the thing I study but also the main subject area I've been passionate about since my childhood.

I feel like with most other things that I don't believe im an expert in, I self sabotage because there's a part of me that thinks I can't be good at it. Like in the salsa class, despite having fun I'm always apologizing for making mistakes rather than losing myself in the moment and just saying fuck it. Imagine if I was taking someone on a trip and we got lost, I wouldn't have to apologize, as I'm never lost for long and can always figure out a solution.

Working with a therapist I would love to be able to apply this way of thinking that I have for my navigation/travel skills towards the other aspects of my life. Girls, my job, friendships etc. I feel quite uncomfortable when I have an ego/am projecting confidence, unless I know full well that I am right and know what I'm doing. However, I know that most of the fun in life is not knowing what's going on but still having fun with it.
 
Day 3

I pushed 100lbs on the chest machine at the gym today, which I think is a milestone for me. I want to try and figure out my current max rep strength next time I do chest day.

My interest in tinder has gone down the last few days. I'm getting matches still but as I haven't yet met anyone and haven't done photos in ages I think I'm just getting complacent now.

Ive started to log successful days on my whiteboard. Sometimes I get quite negative and down on myself for failing and this compounds over time. So I decided to do a new thing, just aim for one goal a day whether that be goto Uni, meet friends, do assignments, go gym, talk to girls etc. And if I complete that goal my day is a success. I hope over time doing this will make me happier and less negative.
 
jeagle63 said:
Day 4

I had a really good day today. Went to all my lectures, felt like I was making a breakthrough with the salsa classes as I was able to social dance without fearing looking stupid.

I accidentally went on the piss after and this is getting kinda bad now ngl, I look for any excuse to go out and party cuz it's when I feel the most socially free/have the most fun. The problem is that I usually drink rum straight from the bottle, because I prefer it to mixed.

Anyway, at 4am going to an afters I start pouring rum into everyone's mouth and we are having fun. Had a really intimate vulnerable conversation with a girl and a couple of my mates at the afters then I had to help her get home cos she was too drunk. I feel a bit bad but in my flat we had a really nice time, and it was intimate and cute but I didn't want to do anything because of the drinking.

Anyway this was so good for me and I'm guess Im glad I stayed up till 7am to have it, but fuck me the way things are going I'll be going to AA meetings in a couple years.
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This sucks but it can be an important lesson for you. You are not forced to drink when you’re going out neither are we forcing you not to drink at all.

If you were sober, you probably would be able to stop the girl getting too drunk and still took her home for some fun times. Looks like both of you got caught up in the moment.

I’m really proud that you didn’t had sex with a totally drunk girl. Most guys would’ve just done it, you had the morals not too.

I would give yourself a set amount of which you can drink next time. You can try not drinking at all but that’s just dodging your problem.
 
Day 6

Missed day 5 on the log but I went to a job interview that I think went well so fingers crossed by the end of the week I'm back in work.

Got bad news today, not about me but too private to write here. Life throws curveballs sometimes. Nothing really to add, except I'm ready and excited for tomorrow.
 
jeagle63 said:
I didn't want to do anything because of the drinking.
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100%. It's wrong, and you don't want to risk being accused of rape. Not something to fuck around with in the modern world.
 
jeagle63 said:
today I was able to pull with only eye contact and was in total control of my emotions, no anxiety or fear just fun.
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this requires more of an explanation than half of a sentence lmao
 
ah when you said pulled, i thought you meant the whole deal of bringing her back to your place and (probably) banging her, i got you now

nice makeout man
 
colgate said:
ah when you said pulled, i thought you meant the whole deal of bringing her back to your place and (probably) banging her, i got you now

nice makeout man
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I've noticed that a lots of Brits say "pull" as in "get some action" whereas in the community we say "pull" as "bring a girl to a sex location".
 
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