I, Excuses, commit to working on my goals and taking myself seriously.
Hey guys.
I'm Excuses, 25, from Germany. My absolute passion is writing stories as in form of fiction books (mostly fantasy, but I'm also into thriller, erotic, romance).
So why I'm here? Coming from TRP which completely opened my eyes and turned my view on this world and life upside down, feeling like I've been walking completely blind through this world all my life and now I can finally see what's going on behind female nature. I still haven't fully swallowed the pill as it's a long way to go, but you can say what you want about trp, it's the best and worst thing that happened to me. Because the truth hurts, it's brutally painfull. Accepting this fact will become a long road, but it is what it is. I will try to become the best version of myself and pick the best things thats useful for me. I've found this site like 2 months ago and was mind blown. This is the kind of advice-site I've been always wishing for and Andy is doing gods work. I tried to apply some stuff in his guides and it helped me succeed already in some areas.
To me:
I'm 194cm, 73-75kg, not at all in shape.
I've been my whole life extremely skinny. 1,5 years ago my weight was 50kg. That's when I started to eat and lift as hard as I can. I gained 20-25kg which was a HUGE step for me, because it changed everything. I never thought it was possible and it boosted my self esteem. I had huge depression my whole life and several attempts of killing myself. Since ive gained the weight I changed my thinking and tried to focus on thinking positive, because i've always been a pessimist. Because of corona I stopped going to the gym for more than a half year now and lost some gains, my social anxiety came back and it keeps my lazy ass at home. But there's also a big problem regarding my lifting and weight gain which throws me back everytime I make a little progress. I have an unknown disease for almost 10 years now which hinders me to fully gain more weight. It's a disease which randomly happens after eating something with fat, sometimes after alcohol or even a cup of cola, it's really hard to tell. But when this happens my belly hurts brutally and the pain goes into my back too. When this happens I can't eat anything the whole day or have to eat only mild things like soup. Only with a lot of painkillers I can kind of bear this pain. And this inflammation lasts for several days. No doctor seems to have a clue or wants to help me with this issue. But in those years i've researched a lot of things and i'm fairly sure this has to be the pancreas. It's some kind of inflammation of the pancreas. And I don't know how to cure this. I have read that a person may have to live with this for his whole life and needs to avoid completely alcohol, fast food and nicotine. This is a nightmare, since this is blocking my way to gain more weight and become bigger and enjoy my life.
But I don't want to be a whiny little pussy here. I will keep going my way, no matter how hard it is.
My goals:
-Gain weight (atleast 10kg at first, then 20kg). My goal is to have 90-100kg minimum.
-Get in shape (i want a six pack and have some sort of a good looking body, not being skinny fat)
-Fuck regularly 6s, 7s, 8s and 9s as in hot girls (I score too many low smv or fat girls and its not what im really craving for)
-Publish my first book
-Build my career - finish my school and start studying or finding a job to collect money and start building my own business
-Fix my erectile disfunction/ my perfomance anxiety
-Get more and more into BDSM and maintaining dominance
This one got a bit long, but I just can't keep myself short. That's also one weakness of myself, heh.
