Road to Game Competency

vibe

vibe

Member
Joined
May 25, 2023
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UPDATE
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Log discontinued here.

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ORIGINAL POST
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Alright, I'm going to start daygaming again.

I found Andy's one girl/day challenge, which sounds good, so I'm gonna do it. (I'm only going to do it during the week though as there are far fewer people outside in the weekends).

I've already started today. Here's how it went:

AA isn't much of an issue to me as I have some natural asshole tendencies (mainly machiavellianism from the dark triad traits plus a healthy dose of not giving a fuckitude).

I found a girl as I was traveling on the tube. She was in her late 20s. She was cute (not exactly hot but also not ugly or fat). Almost no one was within earshot. So it was what you might call a premium opportunity. I walked up and said that I found her attractive and I had to come over and say hi. Then I started assumption stacking and quickly struck up a conversation on her job and appearance. I also wanted to keep things sexual, so I complimented her on her eyes during the convo. I was holding eye-contact mostly and smiling as I approached. I wasn't talking loud enough though (she was constantly asking me to repeat what I was saying). I was trying to pay attention to my body language which, for the most part, was assertive. When I was about to ask for her number I forgot that my phone was in my bag (I'm deliberately not keeping my phone in my pocket just inches from my balls) and so instead of putting my phone in her hands to start typing her number, I was asking for her number. She said she had a boyfriend. I'm not sure if she was a no-girl or a maybe-girl but I'm more than happy with my performance for this first approach.
 
Your intro post is interesting. I think it would be helpful for you to copy that information here to give people some context. I'll post it here in the meantime.

I'd like to learn more about you before making a judgment, but it seems to be that you believe you're doing the right things "on paper" to create an attractive image for women, but it's not working.

If the on-paper work is correct (physique, looks, good job, languages) and the game work is correct (red pill aware, going out and approaching), then that leaves one critical piece, which I suspect is the limiting factor in your case: social-emotional connection, vibe, inner game, or whatever else you want to call it.

Your post mentions a history of trauma and current state of constant negativity. It is all but guaranteed that this is coming out in your interactions with women, and if this is missing, progress will nearly be zero.

I see you taking the right actions towards "self-improvement", but honestly you are already good enough on paper to get women.

Your missing piece is inner work: trauma healing, therapy, etc.

This is much harder to diagnose and takes much more time, but is ultimately the most rewarding.
 
Today, I wasn't going to come out to chase girls since it's weekend but I felt pretty restless at home, so I had to.

I just walked up to an asian girl and it didn't go well. I wasn't nervous or anything - it's just, I think, I came across pretty lame. I wasn't really holding eye contact, I wasn't smiling, I wasn't confident at all, at one point even my voice was gone. Perhaps my posture was weak as well. She looked a bit baffled and after half a minute or so I decided to leave.

BTW, does this count as an approach? I didn't try to get her number...
 
Another day, another approach.

I was standing in the tram stop waiting for the tram to arrive when this girl appeared out of the blue and ‘gave me proximity’ as Mystery would say it. The tram stop was nearly empty so, perhaps, it wasn’t due to chance alone that she was now standing about 3 meters away from me.

I think she was probably ovulating as she was alone, her ears weren’t plugged in, she stopped next to me and she was showing a lot of skin. Secret society stuff…

Anyway, I took action quickly walking up and saying that I noticed she was both beautiful and smart looking. I made an educated guess about her occupation (I guessed she was a student of some sort) trying to get into a conversation with her.

In the meantime, I started noticing IODs but I wanted to stay in the conversation for as long as I wasn’t getting blown out. It didn’t take long though for it to happen because the tram arrived and she excused herself.

I think what happened was that she was eager to find herself a man and I might have passed her minimum requirements for looks but my non-verbal communication sucked (lack of confidence, possibly not smiling, I didn’t speak up as she once had to ask me to repeat what I had been saying, lack of proper eye contact, poor posture etc).

For now, my number one priority remains just establishing the habit of one approach every day but I also want to start focusing on fixing my sticking points.

All in all, I’m very happy with today’s approach.
 
ldoser said:
BTW, does this count as an approach? I didn't try to get her number...
Click to expand...

Every time you walk up to a girl and initiate a conversation, it's an approach.

Any reason you're not using swipe apps to build your confidence? You could build a killer profile with that physique, and I'm saying this as one of the most anti-apps guys on here.
 
That’s my fear too: there’s something missing and, until I fix it, - as you put it - ‘progress will be nearly zero’.

Your hypothesis seems to be all the more accurate, in the light of my last - about one month long - effort with daygame this February. As part of my efforts, I approached 125 women. Result: zero dates. I also often feel sad and lonely (I have no family or friends I can talk to) but I don’t think I’m clinically depressed becasue I can get out of bed when the alarm goes off, I feel quite happy after workouts and doing any kind of ‘self-improvement’ fills me with joy. In other words, my life is under control. It’s just that the social side of it is non-existent.

It’s also worth mentioning that I could never interact with people the same way people usually interact with each other. Mostly, I don’t get along with people at all and it’s been an issue ever since the time I went to kindergarten. I think it’s because I’m too blunt or honest but I’m not sure.

I also don’t know what to do about trauma because I was going to different shrinks for shorter or longer periods in my life several times and I found them altogether useless. (They’re woke, they have no clue about inergender dynamics or the SMP in 2023 etc.) Nonetheless, to some degree, past trauma affects my life because I often think of memories from my childhood/adolescence.

pancakemouse said:
I'd like to learn more about you before making a judgment, but it seems to be that you believe you're doing the right things "on paper" to create an attractive image for women, but it's not working.

If the on-paper work is correct (physique, looks, good job, languages) and the game work is correct (red pill aware, going out and approaching), then that leaves one critical piece, which I suspect is the limiting factor in your case: social-emotional connection, vibe, inner game, or whatever else you want to call it.

Your post mentions a history of trauma and current state of constant negativity. It is all but guaranteed that this is coming out in your interactions with women, and if this is missing, progress will nearly be zero.

I see you taking the right actions towards "self-improvement", but honestly you are already good enough on paper to get women.

Your missing piece is inner work: trauma healing, therapy, etc.

This is much harder to diagnose and takes much more time, but is ultimately the most rewarding.
Click to expand...
 
I got a pretty high pitch. I was experimenting with voice training in the past (as part of Neil Strauss’ 30 day challenge) but it’s quite tedious because I can’t do it in my apartment because the neighbors would overhear it and think I was crazy. It’s best done somewhere outside where you can be sure, no one hears you.

Anyhow, let me know how this course is once you completed it.

jakeD said:
Jeffy from RSD had a course called resonator. I have it but haven't checked it out yet. Will soon. I think voice and using it properly is pretty underrated though.
Click to expand...
 
Strange day.

I spent the entire morning and the better part of the afternoon roaming the streets looking for girls to approach. I weaseled out of walking up to three or four of them but the circumstances weren’t particularly good with those girls and I usually weasel out a few times in every session. I guess it’s just bad luck that what usually takes an hour or so, now took more than four.

I’m also quite selective with the girls I approach - at least for now. On the one hand, I have to because I’m 5 foot 6 and I’m really only into girls that are shorter than me and on the other, I don’t want to approach when there’s many people (especially men) within earshot.

But my persistence payed off because I found a girl who was really my-type-of-girl and, finally, I did today’s approach. We were walking in opposite directions, I let her get past me, then I turned around and stopped her with a Tom Torero style wheel of fortune. I let her know that she was beautiful and smart looking which is a rare combination but she almost immediately jumped in saying that it was very nice of me but she had a boyfriend and she had to go. She seemed to like the approach though as she was smiling and polite but she was either a clear no-girl or she did have a boyfriend and she was in love with him (I think that’s the least likely possibility).

What I did right was that I went in with a somewhat higher energy level than I usually do and I was smiling. I think I also held better eye-contact than I usually do and also spoke up more.

What I did wrong was that I didn’t stop her at 12 o’clock (it was more like 10 which is weak) and my overall vibe was like ‘I’m super sorry that I’m interrupting your day, I hope you don’t mind’ rather than ‘I don’t give a fuck what you or others around us think of me - I just want to get to know you’. I also know how to deal with the boyfriend reply but I couldn’t think on my feet and push the conversation forward.

Nonetheless, I’m relieved that I could tick off today’s approach and now I’m going to have some very nice Thai food.
 
ldoser said:
I also don’t know what to do about trauma because I was going to different shrinks for shorter or longer periods in my life several times and I found them altogether useless. (They’re woke, they have no clue about inergender dynamics or the SMP in 2023 etc.) Nonetheless, to some degree, past trauma affects my life because I often think of memories from my childhood/adolescence.
Click to expand...

Most mental health professionals will not be a good fit. You have to search your city far and wide and ONLY go with the one that's the best fit for you.

I have undergone the psychiatrist search in two different cities now. Each time, I considered hundreds, made initial outreach to between 10-40, had initial calls with 3-5, and finally settled on the best. This process took me a dozen hours each time, but it was worth it. My psychiatrist now is super cool, knows about club promoting and what I do with girls, and I can be completely open with him. He's evidence-based and well read.

You need to treat this as if the rest of your life depends on it (because it does).

Read and follow: https://freethoughtblogs.com/gruntled/2014/05/12/the-s-guide-to-getting-a-therapist-masterpost/

Forget about getting results from daygame until you do this. If you still want to treat it as practice, totally fine, but it's unlikely you will make much other progress until you get your mental health sorted.
 
Good work, man.

Some thoughts from me..............

I have also struggled with much of the journey and felt the feelings of loneliness you describe. Fortunately, I have a lot of male friends, and have always been a very popular guy, with men.

With women, I've always had challenges. I was able to get lays, FWB, and so on, through the help of the KYIL community. But, I still struggle to convert, and generally deal with a lot of scarcity. Got 9 lays in 2022 and a FWB: in 2023, nothing at all. Not a zip.

Granted, my focus is now business, but the loneliness and lack of physical touch and affection, does eat me up also.

Something that may help - my own mental health building guide. Totally free:

https://youtu.be/5GBnuyq4YaY

Review if you wish, or don't. If I can help you in any small way, I am happy.

My thoughts:

We need mental health. We need self-love.

If we don't have self-love, we have nothing.

Best wishes

MAC
 
Today’s approach was quite a quick one. It was a girl in the underground and she was smoking hot. She could be about 20, she was slim and she was about as tall as me.

I stopped her, payed her a compliment but almost instantly she started signalling with her body language not only that she wasn’t interested but also a contempt for me having the courage to even think that a guy like me has the right to express interest in a girl like her. She was also somewhat rude replying to my compliment with a bitchy ‘wonderful’ before walking away.

Rejection aside, I stopped her at 12 o’clock (good), I was smiling (good), I was also looking in her eyes as I was delivering my opener (good) and I’m also quite happy about the fact that I had the balls to approach a top tier girl.

Today’s approach was the first one where I think I was doing everything right. My goal for the next year or two on the daygame front is to get to a point where I can consistently deliver the best I’m capable of.

I’ve also just read that Al Pacino, at 82, just had another child from a woman who is more than half a century younger than him. Nice. Part of me was thinking that the girl I approached today, who could easily be my daughter, may be a bit too young for me but, now, all my doubts are gone. She isn't.
 
A quick question to you guys:

I'm doing Andy's one day one girl challenge and today after I got blown out by a smoking hot 20 yo, a strange feeling got into me: I wanted to talk to more girls. Even more strange was the fact that I acted upon those feelings and ended up initiating a chat with three more women.

Do you think I should start conversations with girls whenever an obvious situation presents itself or shall I proceed with caution and stick to the original one girl per day commitment?

Any insight is appreciated.
 
ldoser said:
A quick question to you guys:

I'm doing Andy's one day one girl challenge and today after I got blown out by a smoking hot 20 yo, a strange feeling got into me: I wanted to talk to more girls. Even more strange was the fact that I acted upon those feelings and ended up initiating a chat with three more women.

Do you think I should start conversations with girls whenever an obvious situation presents itself or shall I proceed with caution and stick to the original one girl per day commitment?

Any insight is appreciated.
Click to expand...

I don't even see how this could be up for debate.

You should approach as many girls as humanly possible.

But really, you should just forget about this whole challenge and throw yourself 100% into fixing your mental health.
 
Today’s approach was the strangest one so far.

I stopped a girl with a wheel of fortune in a shopping mall. She was very much my type: about 20 with blond hair and she was shorter than me. She was slim and looked smart. I complimented her and her reaction was as positive as one can hope for: I got zillions of IOIs (her eyes lit up, she was smiling, she was playing with her hair). She seemed to be a yes-girl.

She thanked me for the compliment saying that I had just made her day. But for some reason or another, I got nervous and suddenly felt like leaving. I said that that was all I had wanted to say, I wished her a nice day and then I left.

I’m still thinking about why I got so nervous and the only thing I can think of was that I was having a particularly stressful day.

Nonetheless, this girl’s reaction gave me hope that if I turn enough stones and if I can level up my game, I should be able to consistently find girls I like.
 
Big news boys: I just got my first phone number from daygame!

I went out early in the afternoon to the shopping mall where I found yesterday's beautiful - and sadly missed - girl. I convinced myself that I needed a coffee, so I went into a coffeshop. While queuing, I noticed this girl sitting at a table busy doing some kind of paperwork. After ordering, I walked up and did a textbook coffeeshop approach.

And somehow I managed to do everything in the way I learned from the various books/courses I'd read/completed in the past 2 months:
- I squatted down to her level
- I called out the elephant in the room before delivering the compliment
- I was talking slow and with conviction
- I was holding eye contact
- I teased/challenged her once
- And my number close was also spot on

The girl wasn't particularly hot though. She was a bit overweight, she was about 30 but she was wearing these big, red, heart-shaped earrings which made me think she was ovulating.

And that's not all!

As I was heading home in the underground, there was a girl traveling in the same carriage as me. She was in her early twenties and she was at least cute (she wasn't overweight or anything). She gave me this long look in the eyes not once but twice but I was so in my head that I couldn't get myself to approach.

It seems like my fresh haircut and the outfit I was wearing today (black jeans and shoes with a white T-shirt) is a sweet spot for me in terms of looks.

So the moral of today's session is:
1. I can get better at game with practice (first girl)
2. If I go out with my looks maxed out, I can hit the minimum requirements in terms of looks for at least some cute girls in their early twenties (second girl)
 
Today, I wanted to squeeze my daygame session in between something I had to do in the afternoon and gymtime, so due to a lack of time, I started a chat with a girl where the situation wasn't ideal.

The girl was in her late 20s and she was at least cute. We met in the unerground and I got in front of her accidentally while she was walking (I was also walking in the same direction). I turned back and stopped her but I said a lot of unnecessary stuff before getting to the compliment. I also wasn't holding eye contact the way I should have. I was talking too fast and I think I came across as nervous and unconfident.

I went for the close way too early (after a screwed up assumption stacking phase). She gave me the standard boyfriend exuse, which (again) I took literally and then I wished her a nice day and left.

I hope tomorrow's approach will be better.
 
Today's approach was quite productive and there's a couple of lessons I learned from it.

I was walking around in my favorite shopping mall when I saw this beautiful girl walking in the opposite direction as I was. She could be about 25, maybe a little taller than me and she was definitely the hottest girl I've approached so far. She was quite posh too and, as I was about to learn, what you would call a high-value woman.

I had pussied out of approaching a few girls before plus I was thinking of the common daygame advice that you should approach girls that are out of your league. If there are such things as leagues, this girl was definitely out of mine.

So, as soon as she got past me, I turned around, ran up and stopped her. I think the first 30s of the approach went quite well:
- As far as I can remember, I was smiling
- I stopped her at 12 o'clock in a decisive manner
- I was talking relatively slow
- I think I was holding eye contact

She seemed to have liked my compliment on how beautiful she was and how sexy I found her long legs.

From here, I started assumption stacking on her job (my guess was she was a lawyer). She also let me know she used to do acrobatic gymnastics and I also started a conversational thread on the cross that was hanging from her neck.

Unfortunately as the conversation went on, she had become less and less interested. She didn't start investing in the conversation and - not knowing what else to do - after a few minutes, I went for her number. I got the usual boyfriend reply after which I wished her a nice day and left.

I also don't regret not pushing things forward this time because, even though I think she might have been a maybe-girl, this caliber of women require very tight game which I, right now, clearly don't have.

Nonetheless, she was very polite and kind and I will continue to approach everything 6+ (including the hottest of women).

I also learned today another important fact: girls who are devout Christians exist even in big cities even in 2023 (at least in Eastern Europe).
 
Today was a great day! I got a phone number from a cute asian student.

Here are the details:

I went out after I'd had lunch and today turned out to be one of those days when it took me several hours to find a girl who was in her 20s, wasn't obese and was shorter than me. After roaming the city for 3 and a half hours, I bumped into this Bangladeshi student who was coming out of my favorite shopping mall. After she got past me, I turned around and after a bit of hesitation, I ran up to her and said that I saw her and I had to come up and say hi because I found her beautiful.

At first, she looked terrified, so I had to calm her a bit but after the initial shock, she started smiling and thanked me for the compliment. I went on to make an observation about the outlandish hat she was wearing and how the colors on her clothes matched each other and I got into a fun exchange with her on that topic. I think I'm starting to get the hang of how this LDM thing is supposed to work in practice:
- I managed to initiate a chat with her using the 'say what you see' technique
- I could keep up the conversation for 4-5 minutes
- I was letting her know repeatedly throughout the conversation that I was interested in her as man
- I challenged her once on how outlandish her hat was
- She started investing in the conversation (asked me a couple of questions about myself)
- I took her number successfully with Tom Torero's method

After we'd parted, I sent her a text within one hour (one that Tom Torero advices to send as a first text) to which I haven't got a reply yet.

I'm super happy with this phone number and I hope she won't flake.
 
I've just got today's approach out of the way.

As usual, I ended up in my favorite shopping mall where I saw a cute girl walking towards me. She could be about 24 and she was shorter than me. I turned around and wheel of fortuned ahead of her.

I was holding rock solid eye contact throughout our short conversation but I didn't stop at 12 o'clock in front of her (it was more like 10, which is quite weak) and I wasn't talking loud enough. But the biggest mistake I made, I think, was that I delivered my compliment in an undecisive way. Nonetheless, she was smiling, so I made an observation about her big and beautiful eyes. I made an educated guess about her job but then she suddenly excused herself saying she had to go. I think she was more like a maybe-girl than a no-girl but because she was young and slim she required a lot more self-confidence and tighter game.

I also noticed that, recently, I'm pussying out more often than when I started out because, for some reason, I find it more difficult to tell a 20 yo girl from a 17 yo (obviously, I want to avoid the latter). Maybe, I should do my daygame session later in the afternoon.
 
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