Spider’s Progress Log 🕷 DAY 366: Continuation Log Link ⛓️

Day 87: 06/01/2021 ✅

Accepting Failure 🕊

So Last night was a bit of a Failure with what happened at training. Haven't really had much in the way of major fails on my self-improvement journey, so I'm looking at the positives. It's an inevitable part of the journey which I touched upon briefly in my post yesterday 🤦‍♂️

I think how I handle failure is the real test. Years ago, a failure would break me and I'd just give up and quit my self-improvement. I still got up early this morning and I still typed up this progress log post for my 365-Day Project ⬆️

Overall, I feel I've had more successes than failures when I started 87 days ago. Can't believe I'm almost at 3 months. I'm gonna try and figure out what I can do going forward with training. Thought about this during my morning Coffee and Contemplation. Yeah okay maybe I looked like a bit of an idiot last night for leaving within 10 minutes, but It's not really that big a deal. I've been trying to stop caring what people think and I'm much happier for it 💭

I might lose a hundred bucks if I don't continue with the training, but my family's health must come first. I couldn't give a Fuck about getting COVID, but I would give a Fuck about passing it onto the vulnerable people in my family. I may have to have a conversation with my family to figure out what I can do next. I have an opportunity to write this week off with training and start fresh next Wednesday night. Have to see what happens 🔜

Today's Update 📝

- Woke up at 05:00 Hrs. Wore my blue-light blocking glasses last night which I think helped my sleep a lot 🌅

- Had Coffee and Contemplation at my Battle Station ☕️ 💭

- Did my back exercises this morning. Also did 3 Push-ups and Sit-Ups - a 300% increase from when I first started. See if I can get to a full month streak: 3/31 🗓

- Listened to Episode #123 of Andy's Podcast - Day 123: Part 2 of the Latest Virgin Saga 🎤

Had to tune in for the second part after listening to part 1 yesterday. Got a lot out of this which I will take forward if I ever date a virgin. I do try and avoid them to be honest as I've had nothing but drama and it's a lot of pressure on me if things go wrong and there's this idea that society and they often have that I have to 'make it special' for them.

- Listened to Episode #124 of Andy's Podcast - Day 124: Dates Aren't Just for Sex - They're for Being More Social 🎤

Think this is a big barrier to people not actually going on dates. This is something I got better at as time went on. I've gone from being a hopeless dater in my teens to Fucking a girl within 10 minutes last weekend in my late 20's. Took me a couple years, but I got there in the end. Good to hear some of the conversation ideas too. I've played the people-watching game at a shopping mall and it works a lot.

- Listened to Episode #125 of Andy's Podcast - Day 125: Getting Flaked on is Normal 🎤

Since going back on Tinder, Hinge, Bumble POF etc. I've noticed that the level of flakes is just unreal. It's either that or I get ghosted pretty regularly. I'm at the stage now where I'm not bothered by flakes and ghosts. I've been flaked on twice this week and ghosted twice. What I stopped doing was investing too much time in 1 girl at a time so if I did get flaked or ghosted, I would be pissed off over the lost invested time. I'm seeing my time as money now and spending it as an investment. Flakes are just a normal part of the process.

- Listened to Episode #126 of Andy's Podcast - Day 126: If You Don't Take Yourself Seriously, How Can You Expect Anyone Else to? 🎤

Gotta be one of my favourite episodes so far. I'll definitely keep this one in mind for the future. Part of me posting consistently on here is me trying to take myself more seriously instead of just dabbling in the idea of self-improvement.

- Worked 08:00-04:00 Hrs 💾

New job. Lot to get my head around and do. Hope I don't Fuck this up and that I made the right choice leaving my old job. Don't think I'll ever truly be happy in any job to be honest. I'll stick this out for 9 months and then take it from there 🚪👋

That's it for today 📝

Taking a break tonight and doing some self-care. Gotta be up early and I'm feeling a bit crappy after last night still, so I'll take a night off and take it easy for a couple hours 🛌

Photos posted for accountability purposes 📷

Thanks for Reading 📖

Spider 🕷
 
Adam said:
I can see Jiu-Jitsu freaking you out if you're really worried about your parents' health. I wouldn't regard you choosing to duck out of training as a failure though. You made a conscious decision based on your concern for your parents. It's not like you skipped it because you were lazy or scared.

I forget if you live with your parents or just visit them a lot. If you don't live with them, then frequent testing is an option. Buy a few at-home test kits and just test yourself before you go see them. Might be a way to put your mind at ease while you train.
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I never really saw it from that perspective but now you've framed it that way, I feel a lot better

I'm living with them whilst they recuperate as my father hasn't been well so it's a bit difficult at the minute. Appreciate you taking the time to help me see things in a better light

Thank you so much

Regards,

Spider
 
Day 88: 07/12/2022 ✅

First day in the office 💾

First day in the office at my new job after working from home the past 2 days on training. Had to get up and leave early as Fuck this morning to get to work for 08:00 Hrs. Hopefully my car will be passed tomorrow during it's annual check and I can drive part of the way and cut the journey time down/avoid this crappy winter weather! 🥶

I'll be honest: It's hard work and quite stressful. I'll give it 3 months and re-assess, but it feels like I've come into the organisation at a difficult time although upper management speak for this was that I have come into the organisation at an 'exciting' time. Lol. I think the management experience will be worthwhile. It's 6 months of my life and I'm earning decent money. Definitely just a stop-gap 👎

Today's Update 📝

- Woke up at 04:20 Hrs. This was easy and painless this morning. Wore my blue-light blocking glasses last night and the sunrise alarm is really working. Glad I'm getting my sleep pattern fixed 🌅

- Had Coffee and Contemplation at my Battle Station ☕️ 💭

- Listened to Episode #127 of Andy's Podcast - Day 127: Screening Early vs Screening Later 🎤

I always screen early (and hard) now which I think is the right thing to do. Saves hurt feelings and misunderstandings further down the road. Hurting a girl this way is something I try to prevent. Still wary and very cautious after what happened with that girl. I know it wasn't my fault, but screening early and hard is something that may stop this from happening again although the chances of that are pretty Fucking slim.

- Listened to Episode #128 of Andy's Podcast - Day 128: Not Drinking on a Date? (Patreon Question) 🎤

This was a very good episode for me as I quit drinking about 5 years ago. I have had 1 or 2 girls get weird about this (as well as family members). I stand my ground on this. Anybody gives me drama about this, I get up and walk out. Nobody is forcing me to drink. I will play it cool and not make a big deal 'yeah I'm just having Coke as I don't really drink'. Anybody who calls me a 'pussy' or gets funny doesn't deserve to be in my life.

- Listened to Episode #129 of Andy's Podcast - Day 129: "Work/Life Balance" Means You Hate Your Job 🎤

Totally agree with this. I have hated many jobs I have worked and never found something that I truly enjoy. I don't really think I'm going to enjoy the job I'm doing at the minute. I took it for the extra money. I may come to enjoy it - it's only my first week. I will give it time and see - if I hate it, I won't be sticking it out that's for sure. Life's too short. Anybody who 'needs' to self-medicate with alcohol, video games and other bullshit distractions etc. needs to re-assess things and take action. No wonder depression rates have skyrocketed in recent years. I'd like to travel the world at some point and I won't be doing it when I'm 70 that's for sure!

Listened to Episode #130 of Andy's Podcast: Day 130: Couples Shouldn’t Blindly Jump into a 3some 🎤

Can't comment from personal experience as I'm not a big relationship guy, but the concepts on this one make sense. Girls are wired differently and I think a lotta guys just don't get that myself included. Good to hear things from a different perspective. Something to consider for the future.

- Did my back exercises this morning (4/12). Also did 4 Push-Ups and Sit-Ups. Keeping up the streak and building on my progress. The Slight Edge in action 📖

That's it for today's update. I'm pretty beat after getting up early for work, so I'll take a break now and try get an early night 🌘

Photos have been posted for accountability purposes 📷

Thanks for reading 📖

Spider 🕷
 
Day 89: 07/02/2022 ✅

Ahead of the curve: Independent weekend working 💾

So I made a tactical decision and did some work today for my new management job. I'm pretty much dead against doing work on weekends, particularly if it's work that I don't enjoy, but I'm gonna have a Fucking nightmare come Monday morning if I don't get on top of things now whilst I have the chance. Felt like every meeting I was in yesterday, my list got longer and longer. As I'm management now, this kind of shit feels like it's 'expected' almost 😑

Not happy, but it needed doing. Did 2 hours today and I'm not putting in any more time. Might do an hour and a half tomorrow if I need to. I took some time to relax as well as ensuring I worked on my self-improvement ⬆️

I'm not letting work interfere with my progress and hard-earned down time too much. I'm making the most of it and listening to Podcasts whilst I do it so it's not completely wasted. Will try find some way of rewarding myself as it's been a hard week. I'm kind of counting doing this weekend work as self-improvement as it's working towards my financial goal - I Fuck up, I get Fired, so that's it pretty much 👎

Today's Update 📝

- Woke up at 04:20 Hrs 🌅

- Had Coffee and Contemplation at my Battle Station ☕️ 💭

- Listened to Episode #131 of Andy's Podcast: Day 131: Merry Christmas, Plans for My Website/Podcast, a Look Back at 2020 🎤

2020 was a ClusterFuck. I did enjoy hearing about the plans for the future with the YouTube Channel, BDSM, Threesome Guides, The Forums etc. Good to see how these developed in 2021. We've recently hit 2022 and I'm looking forward to seeing the further developments and plans for the future come to fruition.

- Listened to Episode #132 of Andy's Podcast - Day 132: Have Fun During Your Approaches 🎤

Although likely nerve-racking, ultimately, this should be fun. I think the fun aspect becomes more realistic when you see the results and realise you're losing your fears around approaching. I've done approaches in the past, but I prefer Tinder just because it's more convenient and easier. Sex on tap if you know how to play the game well

- Listened to Episode #133 of Andy's Podcast - Day 133: Self-Sabotage and Self-fulfilling Prophecies 🎤

Studied this kinda thing at University. People engage in self-destructive behaviours because they've convinced themselves they have to adhere to and become this person they have in mind. I've been guilty of self-sabotage myself. People have made comments about me which I've believed and have actively worked towards. 2 examples that come to mind: Someone called me 'scrawny' and a close family member told me I was too thin. To spite them, I stopped eating properly and had 1 meal a day. I was just doing myself over. Another time, somebody said I was a sad, pathetic loser who'd be single forever. So I stopped trying and didn't date or have sex for almost 2 years. You work towards these things when you should be saying 'Fuck No' and doing the opposite.

- Listened to Episode #134 of Andy's Podcast - Day 134: Stop "Shoulding" Yourself 🎤

I liked this one. Putting a 'should' on things makes them feel like a chore. On the flipside, Societal, peer and parental pressure have influenced things I've done in the past:

'I should have a drink to fit in or people will think I'm weird...'
'I should go to University and do a Master's course...'
'I should think about settling down and getting married...'
Changing my mindset to 'I don't have to. I want to.' works wonders as well as filtering out the bullshit I actually don't want to do.

- Did my back exercises. (5/30) We're now up to 5 Push ups and Sit-Ups. Keeping up the streak 💯

- Took the car for it's annual check. Had to charge up the battery this morning as it's been stationery whilst the garage was shut over Christmas and New Year - annoying little job, but had to be done. It finally Passed, so I can now start driving 🚗

- Purple Haze text back, but she doesn't respond for days on end. I'm not playing this game. If she wants to meet and have fun, she will make it easy for me. Think she's just wasting my time at this point. Probably a good thing I'm not meeting her anyway - with this new job, I'm way too busy at the minute. Gonna take a week and get settled before I even think about meeting. Nothing wrong with a 1 week break from dating. My Tinder has been getting quite neglected for the time being, but I just can't be bothered. Too burnt out to even try lately. I'll wait until things calm down work-wise before I get back on it 🔥

That's it for today's update. I'm gonna go chill now and watch some anime 📺

Photos have been posted for accountability purposes 📷

Thanks for Reading 📖

Spider 🕷
 
Day 90: 09/01/2022 ✅

Simplifying my Goals ✅ and 2022 Career Plan 📈

In response to no longer being able to do Jiu-Jitsu, I have decided to simplify my goals. One thing I have discovered with Self-Improvement is that plans change evolve as time goes on. This is all a big experiment and it was always going to take me a while to figure out what works for me and what doesn't as well as what I want and don't want 👍👎

I have decided to focus on several key areas:

- The Gym
- My Diet
- Cardio (Running)
- Finances
- My 365-Day Project

I will pay passing attention to:

-Getting Laid
- Dating

I am not going to obsess over these. I will still be on Tinder etc. looking for the opportunities, but I am going to focus on the above key areas. In order to do this, I have redesigned my schedule to allow for the following:

- I will get up early to fit everything in now I have fixed my sleep pattern (04:20 Hrs).
- I have a plan now to go to the Gym 5 times a week now my car is fixed (Monday-Friday).
- I have set aside time to do meal prep twice a week (Saturday and Tuesday).
- I have set a meal pattern aside (Mondays-Saturdays and eat what I want on Sundays).
- I have set aside time to go for a run 4 times a week (Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday and Sunday).
- Continue saving full pay every month. a 2 minute online banking job. I've cut all my expenses right down so will see maximum returns.
- I have allocated time to relax (Evenings and Weekends). May have to work these times occasionally, but it is what it is.

View attachment 3

Also been thinking about my career today. I have a preliminary plan in place where I am going to work the 9 month agreed interim period which will take me up until August. In the meantime, I will save every pay check from this 💵

Think I'm gonna take a month off in September as my contract is up then. This will be to get my head together, take a break, brush up on my C.V and work on anything else I think is important - likely be my driving so I can get some refresher lessons to drive further afield. I've been trying to book some refreshers, but because I work Monday-Friday, ever instructor I've hit up has given me a hard 'Nope. Not working evenings and weekends' 😑

I'll have 9 months managerial experience under my belt come September and a lot more money, so I think this is a good plan. I also don't do well working in offices so could do with the break. Once this is sorted I'll look for a better job ⬆️

Gonna be a tough 9 months where I'm gonna have to work hard, but I'm prepared to put the effort in and try meet my goals. A lot of results can be achieved in this time and I think this will set me up well going into 2023 and beyond 🔜

Today's Update 📝

- Woke up at 04:00 Hrs. Lay in bed for an hour and was deep in thought this morning before I got up. I didn't fall back to sleep, just a lot of things on my mind - new job etc. 🌅

- Had Coffee and Contemplation at my Battle Station ☕️ 💭

- Did my back exercises. Also did 6 Push-Ups and Sit-Ups. Keeping up the streak (6/30) ⬆️

- Listened to Episode #135 of Andy's Podcast - Day 135: Why Am I Getting Shit Tested? 🎤

This was a good episode. I've always been sceptical of 'shit-tests'. If a girl shit-tests me now, I just get up and walk. To me it's just insulting and rude. If a guy tried it with a girl, he'd be labelled a 'scumbag'. Hard pass. Rather look good and be direct. Take my chances with that and it'll probably pay off. If I get shit-tested i.e. insulted, I'll call them out on it and walk unless she sorts her attitude out. Millions of women out there, why put up with 1's bullshit games?

- Did some more weekend working. Again, not a fan of this, but needed doing 👎

- Cleaned and tidied my room. Needed doing as it piles up in the week now I'm working Monday-Friday ✨

- Watched some more anime. Wanted a bit of a break today before I start work 📺

And that’s it for today’s update 📝

Photos have been posted for accountability purposes 📷

Thanks for reading 📖

Spider 🕷

🕷
 
Day 91: 10/01/2021 ✅

(Edited due to workplace social media policy concerns!)

Today's Update

- Woke up at 04:20 Hrs

- Had Coffee and Contemplation at my Battle Station

- Listened to Episode #136 of Andy's Podcast - Day 136: Questions to Ask Yourself [Part 1/3].

Got quite deep in thought after listening to this one. Definitely thought I was some 'special kind of Fucked up' many years ago. A mindset I've now Fucked off and actively fight/ignore.

- Listened to Episode #137 of Andy's Podcast - Day 137: More Questions to Ask Yourself [Part 2/3].

Wanted to continue with the questions on from earlier. I liked the part about not using women and the worries that come with it - something that plays on my mind quite a fair bit. I also had my period where I was resentful towards women as I was getting rejected a lot. I realise now it's probably because I looked like shit and was depressed as hell. Some girls were still bitches, but most I don't blame for rejecting me come to think of it. After spending time with women, I kind of understand how things work now and I no longer hate women. I do however hate how the game is set up in their favour but this isn't their fault. I blame the SIMPS. Definitely a self-reflective episode this one.

- Listened to Episode #138 of Andy's Podcast - Day 138: More Questions to Ask Yourself [Part 3/3].

Wanted to finish off. Given me a lot to think about.

That's it for today's update 📝

Photos posted for accountability purposes 📷

Thanks for Reading 📖

Spider 🕷
 
Just my 2c, I've found it rarely to be the case that any issue with a job has to do with personal reasons. People typically aren't lying to you, they just have no clue whatsoever. People aren't expecting too much of you, they just expect it out of everyone for absolutely no reason. No one actually has virtually any feelings or strong thoughts about anyone.

This is both much better and worse than it seems. The good news is they're probably not malevolent, and have no interest in harming you. The bad news is they're probably going to harm you anyway, because they are that disorganized, mindless, and apathetic. When some individual at a company fucks you over, it usually can be resolved with some drama. When a company fucks you over because that's just the way they are - RUN. There is no fucking chance that is getting fixed unless you are in a position of authority and were hired to fix that problem.

That said, don't rush to judgement. There can be a lot of friction fitting into a new role for you and everyone else. If the problems are just because everyone is confused and you need to ramp up, then it will probably work out just fine. If the problem is everyone hates working there, they take no breaks, the CEO is adamantly against people working from home, they give shitty raises, and they expect everyone to work extra hours, then it probably is not going to get better with time.
 
Zug said:
Just my 2c, I've found it rarely to be the case that any issue with a job has to do with personal reasons. People typically aren't lying to you, they just have no clue whatsoever. People aren't expecting too much of you, they just expect it out of everyone for absolutely no reason. No one actually has virtually any feelings or strong thoughts about anyone.

This is both much better and worse than it seems. The good news is they're probably not malevolent, and have no interest in harming you. The bad news is they're probably going to harm you anyway, because they are that disorganized, mindless, and apathetic. When some individual at a company fucks you over, it usually can be resolved with some drama. When a company fucks you over because that's just the way they are - RUN. There is no fucking chance that is getting fixed unless you are in a position of authority and were hired to fix that problem.

That said, don't rush to judgement. There can be a lot of friction fitting into a new role for you and everyone else. If the problems are just because everyone is confused and you need to ramp up, then it will probably work out just fine. If the problem is everyone hates working there, they take no breaks, the CEO is adamantly against people working from home, they give shitty raises, and they expect everyone to work extra hours, then it probably is not going to get better with time.
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Zug

Dude, just want to say thank you so much for this:

I took your advice and spoke to my boss and they’ve got it sorted now with an appropriate training plan in place etc. I’m glad I stopped and listened to you before I acted or I’d potentially be unemployed right now.

It’s looking much better for the meantime and I’m glad I didn’t do something stupid I might regret. I deleted the above rant aimed at my workplace as I didn’t want somebody to see it who shouldn’t (slim chance, but still, you never know).

Thank you my man - you really did me a solid with the good advice ⬆️

Regards,

Spider 🕷
 
Day 92: 11/01/2022 ✅

Filler Post: Work issues resolved 👍

Just a buffer post today as I had a bit of an 'oh shit, what have I done...' moment with this new job yesterday, so I didn't sleep too well or type up a draft of my log post like I do most mornings to save time. Find I'm more creative in the mornings, so I do it then for anyone who was curios when I write these and how I fit it in.

Head wasn't in the right place really either, so this is gonna be a 'giving myself permission to suck' post purely for the purposes of consistency.

Long story short, got asked to do loads of stuff I'm not trained to at work, high workload and not much support etc. etc.

This was my first proper day on the job, so kinda panicked. Instead of walking off the job and getting pissed off, I spoke to my boss.

Everything I raised is starting to get addressed now.

There was a rant on my previous post, which I have now deleted as I didn't wanna run the risk of someone at work seeing (this isn't the private area). Low risk, but still thought it was the wise choice.

Shoutout to Zug who helped steer me in the right direction with his solid advice. Thank you brother.

- Woke up Early at 04:20 Hrs

- Had coffee and contemplation at my Battle Station

- Did 8 push ups and sit-ups. Wanted to keep this streak going

That's literally it for today as I was floor pacing most the day trying to figure out what to do. I think I made the right choice in the end. I didn't wanna go back to being unemployed and the ball ache of trying to find a new job, passing the interview etc.

Occasionally I have these days, but it is what it is. A buffer post is better than no post.

I'll get back on it tomorrow.

No photos today as again, had a lot on my mind.

Thanks for reading 📖

Spider 🕷
 
Day 93: 12/01/2022 ✅

⭐️ 3 MONTH REVIEW ⭐️ 25% of my 365 Day Project completed ✅

Can't believe I'm 25% of the way through my 365 Day Project ⬆️

It's absolutely flown. Blink and you miss it. I'm close to 100 Days as well. I like marking these milestones along the way, as they really put things into perspective for me as to how far I've come. I may consider some kind of reward for myself for keeping up the consistency. It is my birthday the end of the month as well, so might get a few bits. Got a few ideas in mind 💭

I'm making current plans to sort my diet out and get back in the gym too now my schedule around work has been drafted. I'll action this soon. Cancelled the P.T app subscription I downloaded as I'm not really using it and it's costing me every month. I have my Workout schedule which my P.T designed for me pre-lockdown which I could do for 3 months. Could always hit him up after this time and get back into it. I'm working now and I'm serious about bulking up, so I'm prepared to make the investment when the time comes 🔜

💭 I know I've been Fucking around on this for a while, but I need to go early morning to the gym (think 04:45) due to COVID so I can avoid the busy periods. In order to do this, sleep schedule and work planning with my new job has had to be done. 💭

Made some good progress over the last month looking at my logs 🪵 👀

Few big wins which I'm proud of:

- 1 New Lay where I fucked a girl within 10 minutes of meeting her
- Did a Podcast with Andy
- New Job with better pay
- Overcome a depressive period after a bad experience with a girl. This would've destroyed me a year ago.
- Re-joined Tinder and invested in it in stead of Fucking around (bought boosts etc.)
- Went back to the gym - granted, I only went once, but I'm counting it as a win as it's a mental hurdle.
- Fucked up then fixed my sleep
- Confronted my negative feelings and beat them back
- Read Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender and started The Slight Edge
- Now on a 9 day streak of back exercises with push-ups and sit-ups
- Sorted out my finances
- Started being a bit more principled in how I spend my money

Today's Update 📝

- Woke up at 04:20 Hrs 🌅

- Had Coffee and Contemplation at my Battle Station ☕️ 💭

- Listened to Episode #139 of Andy's Podcast - Day 139: Ask EVERY Girl for a Phone Number (Cold Approach) 🎤

Makes sense. The girls you speak to might appreciate your confidence alone even if everything goes to shit. I like the sound of the AA program and it is something I am considering for the future. I've always hated pickup lines and I think most girls can see you coming a mile off with bullshit pickup lines. Best to just be honest. I like the recommendation of focusing on your looks. 'Life on hard mode' is a great quote as well as MILFandCookies quote on quitting the car dealership. Good Episode. Gonna try make 2022 my killer year and crush it now I'm well into the Self-Improvement.

- Listened to Episode #140 of Andy's Podcast - Day 140: You Are Allowed to Walk Away (Cold Approach) 🎤

Solid advice. I've been up town when I used to drink many years ago and I've tried my luck with girls and I've been sworn at, called names etc. (Alcohol and drugs makes people stupid and aggressive) or I'd just try break through an unbreakable barrier to try attract and pull. I now know better and I'll just smile, say 'bye' and walk. Why put up with it if it's gonna make you miserable or make you look like an idiot if a girl is being a total bitch? Negative behaviour and attitudes in my life no thanks!

- Listened to Episode #141 of Andy's Podcast - Day 141: Should I Cold Approach or Use Tinder? 🎤

Tried both. Tinder works best for me. Enough said. lol.

- Listened to Bonus Episode: Introducing, The Winner’s Club! (Weekly accountability & support) 🎤

I know this was more of an advertisement, but it kinda hit home to me the importance of group accountability and posting on the forums. I've had pretty good success with my 365-project and to be honest, I would say my life has improved overall since signing up 3 months ago.

- Worked 08:00-16:00 Hrs 💾

I've started saying 'no' to stuff and managing expectations and what a difference it's made. I'm still busy as Fuck, but the pressure is off and I feel like I'm getting a fairer deal. Think it may be worth refreshing on 'No More Mr. Nice Guy' as I think that I could apply the principles in the book to my new job and be happier for it. I got no problem working hard - I get up at like half 4 every morning, but I gotta know what I'm doing and the expectations have to be reasonable and fair 🤝

That's it for today's update 📝

Glad to have got to 3 months. Didn't think I'd make it to 3 Days when I first started ⬆️

Photos posted for accountability purposes 📷

Thanks for Reading 📖

Spider 🕷
 
Day 94: 13/01/2022 ✅

Push-Ups and Sit ups: Confronting my body image issues 🪞 ⚔️

I got to a streak of 10 push-ups this morning. Nice round number and I can't remember the last time I got to 10 push-ups. Some people in my family can't do one push up. With doing push ups and sit ups, I've been thinking a lot lately about how pale, sickly and weak I don't just look, but feel 😐

This is due to a number of things. Largely I think I can attribute it to a poor diet and lack of exercise. Specifically, low-quality food and no muscle-building compound exercises 🥘

I'm almost 27 years old.

I think I've finally had enough of looking this way and I've hit my breaking point. With my birthday coming up very soon, I've had enough of looking in the mirror and hating what I see. I've been this way for about 12 years now. Society has this idea of a man being strong, fit and capable. I've had many people take the piss outta me for being too thin 👎

Things have gotta change. 🔜

I'm going to carry on with the Push Ups and Sit Ups with a goal in mind. I'm going to aim for the following:

- 77 Push-Ups in 2 minutes
- 82 Sit-Ups in 2 minutes

These might seem a bit of a random number to aim towards, but it's the current forces standard. I want to be at a fitness level where I am capable of handling everything life throws at me. I'm just adding an extra push up and sit up every day. Kind of curios to see how many I can get to 💯

I will throw in a Cardio target at some point once I've looked into it a little first 🫀

Today's Update 📝

- Woke up at 04:20 this morning 🌅

- Had Coffee and Contemplation at my Battle Station ☕️ 💭

- Did my back exercises and 10 Push-Ups and Sit-Ups. Keeping up the streak (10/31) ⬆️

- Listened to Episode #142 of Andy's Podcast - Day 142: Radical Ideas: Change Your Environment 🎤

I have done this in the past with relationships, friendships and jobs. I am now more brutal in this respect and can recall a couple of times where I've walked off jobs, cut off friendships and left girls who are walking red flags. One 'friend' I had would openly insult/mock me in front of others, regularly drove drunk and was into drugs. Took a while, but I cut him off. Took a job at a pizza place during the Pandemic - needed the money as the hours in my day job got cut due to COVID. Customer kicked off on my third shift and the manager hid behind the pizza oven and left me to deal with it. Obviously I didn't have a Fucking clue what I was doing being new and the manager gets paid extra to specifically deal with customer complaints.

So I dealt with it best I could then took my hat off (all pizza places make you wear shitty baseball caps as uniform!) gave it to him, and I walked off the job. I don't tolerate that shit. My issue at the minute is with family, but I'm in a difficult situation with this at the minute. It has improved for now, but I got a lot of value out of this episode and gave me a lot to think about. I do have 'Fuck You' money in my bank account so if things got to a point, I am in a position to delta out and get some space. I have made the mistake of opening up to my family and have been badly emotionally hurt. I don't say anything now as my family aren't who I'd class as 'safe people' to discuss things with. I keep things like this shit to only 1 or 2 close friends now who I trust and are safe people. I live in a small town and I am saving up to leave at some point.

- Listened to Episode #143 of Andy's Podcast - Day 143: Don't Be Average - Don't Accept Society's Blueprint For Your Life 🎤

Another great episode. I myself have stated my intention to never marry or have children as well as to stay single for the foreseeable and have experienced the same as Andy. The response?

'You must be gay then'.
'There's something wrong with you.'
'You're upsetting your family. you should do right by them. Get married, have children.'
'You don't want a relationship? You're a Fuckboy who uses women.'

😒.

The most hilarious thing about this is the people who fervently tell me these things and look at me like I'm a freak are amongst the most miserable, unhappy and dissatisfied people I have ever met. It's almost a jealousy thing:

'I'm stuck in an unhappy marriage where my wife has sex with me once every 5 months so you should be too’.

Yeah, think I'll pass on that, thanks
🚪🚶‍♂️👋

Too risky with divorce courts etc. I did go to University twice - enjoyed the first time, but not the second (Master's). I was passionate about the first course I did, but not the second Postgraduate one.

I am considering doing a different Master's in the future in Journalism. This is an area that I am heavily interested in. My name on here 'Spider Jerusalem' is from a journalist and I like the work of Hunter S. Thompson. Something to consider for my 30's when I'm a bit more stable. I don't wanna blow money on a degree if I'm not setup and stable. Need to be in that position to commit 🔮

Most people are sheep. 'The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation'.

🐑🐑🐑

This quote Fucking hit me hard. Will think on this more.

- Worked 08:00 Hrs - 16:00 Hrs 💾

Worked from home today - I like this blended working approach as it gives me a break from the office. Also gives me chance to catch up on my workload with nobody bothering me. It's a stressful job with shitloads to do but I'm keeping on with saying 'no' to stuff and taking it a day at a time.

That's it for today’s update 📝

Photos posted for accountability purposes 📷

Thanks for Reading 📖

Spider 🕷
 
Spider Jerusalem said:
I'm going to carry on with the Push Ups and Sit Ups with a goal in mind. I'm going to aim for the following:

- 77 Push-Ups in 2 minutes
- 82 Sit-Ups in 2 minutes
Click to expand...

Make sure you don't focus on those two specific exercises too much. You might get asymmetric muscles which make you prone to injuries and bad posture.

Make sure to always train the opposite muscles as well. Pushups train the chest a fair amount (depending on what kind of push up). You will get a forward hunched posture if yoi don't train your back as well. The front muscles respond to growth stimuli more easily too, so this is a real risk. I have this problem and pains caused by it. Sitting hunched in front of screens and such too much is a factor in this too.

I would recommend doing different kinds of 30minute full-body workouts. Make sure each of them is well balanced across body parts. Doing different ones has the purpose to give variety in excercises.

Another point: Many people recommend not doing situps, but instead crunshes. I can't fully remember but I think the reason was that situps strongly target hip flexors while most people want to use them to train their abs.
 
I'm 100% behind you wanting to improve yourself physically. However, the push and situp goals are not particularly effective tools for accomplishing that. Even if your goal was increasing your push ups and situps only, there are far, far more effective training strategies than doing 1 set per day and trying to increase the rep count by 1. Do you have something against barbell training? If getting fit and strong is your goal, that's an order of magnitude more effective at getting you there.
 
Zug said:
I'm 100% behind you wanting to improve yourself physically. However, the push and situp goals are not particularly effective tools for accomplishing that. Even if your goal was increasing your push ups and situps only, there are far, far more effective training strategies than doing 1 set per day and trying to increase the rep count by 1. Do you have something against barbell training? If getting fit and strong is your goal, that's an order of magnitude more effective at getting you there.
Click to expand...

Hey Zug

Totally agree: This is a target I am working towards alongside working out in the Gym regularly

I've started doing the push ups and sit ups to build some consistency and give me a goal to work towards (as well as a general fitness indicator)

Thanks for your input!

Regards,

Spider
 
Adam said:
Glad to see you making fitness a priority. Consistent exercise is one of the best things you can do for yourself. Being strong will help you with Jiu-Jitsu when you eventually get back to it too.
Click to expand...

Adam

Hey thanks man

Instead of beating myself up about it, I just thought I should do something else instead

Definitely will go back at some point too, so this'll help

Regards,

Spider
 
Day 95: 13/01/2022 ✅

Rough day at work 🤬 and Cold weather blues 🥶

Work was brutal today.

Had to get a COVID test as I came into contact with someone who's tested positive 2 days ago. Workload getting piled on me again and no let up. On top of that, this weather is making me feel a bit low. Last night and this morning it was Foggy as hell - couldn't see nothing 🦠

I don't think the long nights are helping either 🌌

I go to work, it's dark 🌘

I come home, it's dark 🌘

This may seem stupid, but I will see in passing a T.V show or an Xbox game that's set somewhere warm and hot e.g. Latin America, California, Florida etc. and I'll want to be there and it'll get me a bit down. It's why I don't watch T.V or play Xbox any more 👾 👎

My Sunrise Alarm is helping out with this a little, but still feeling a bit blue. Minor SAD perhaps? 🌅

Sounding like an excuse, but this cold weather doesn't really make me want to do anything and I think it's getting me down a bit ⬇️

So I've decided to try get out of the house this weekend. I've been stuck in an office all week at work or I've been at my own desk I have in my room, so I'm going to try and get out and maybe do something for myself if I can. Need to pick up some birthday presents and I reckon this weekend is a good time to do it. Might make a day of it and look after myself a bit. Think I'm still carrying the mental effect of lockdown too 💭

I've been taking reasonable precautions to combat this. Stopping watching the news and T.V definitely helped as well as ditching politics, cutting phone screen time to worthwhile activities e.g. podcasts and self-improvement forums etc. 🎤

Can't change the weather, but I can change how I feel ☀️

Today's Update 📝

- Woke up at 04:20 Hrs this morning 🌅

- Had Coffee and Contemplation at my battle station ☕️ 💭

- Did 11 Push Ups and Sit Ups in addition to my back exercises. Keeping up the streak ⬆️

- Listened to Episode #144 of Andy's Podcast - Day 144: Use an Online Notebook to Jot Down Ideas & Inspiration 🎤

A nice easy one. I use the 'Notes' app. on my iPhone and there's also this log I'm writing as part of my 365 Day Project which I go back over semi-regularly, so I guess this is something I'm already doing. It works well for me and I would definitely recommend. At the end of the year, I will read through this log and see how far I have come. I think this is very worthwhile and beneficial.

- Worked 08:00-16:00 Hrs 💾

I'll be honest, wasn't an easy one today. The issue I'm having is with my manager and the workload. We recently had the discussion where I told her she's piling too much stuff on me workload wise. The issue is multiple parts, but today's problem was that she does not appreciate the fact that I am in a front-facing role in addition to my other stuff I'm working on:

All the shit she's asking me to do isn't going to get done if I'm the only one in the office dealing with complaints and enquiries because everyone else is working from home because of Coronavirus 🤬

On top of that it's my first week, so everything takes a lot longer. Not a great week but it might get easier 👎

That's it for today's update 📝

Photos posted for accountability purposes 📷

Thanks for reading 📖

Spider 🕷
 
Day 96: 15/01/2022 ✅

Day of Self-Care and Productivity ⬆️

Took today off as a day of self-care. I ended up having a very productive day as well as making sure I took it easy and looked after myself a little. I hit my bed last night at about 8 O'clock as I was beat after work. and Still got up early this morning after a good sleep. Felt refreshed when I got up. Lay in bed for an hour to just think on things and relax whilst I sipped some Vimto to refresh and wake up gradually.

Got a few things done which were productive. Mostly just housekeeping, tidying and organising, but I've found my old P.T's workout schedule which I've now written up onto blank A4 pages ready to start fresh. Looking forward to getting to work on this.

On a side-note, Amazon Prime membership ran out today after I cancelled it last month. Saves me paying out £7.99 a Month which is a yearly saving of £95.88. Part of getting my finances in order. Also, Fuck Jeff Bezos. I like Capitalism and the free market despite knowing that it's not perfect which I will openly admit, but this guy profited from the Pandemic whilst small independent businesses suffered and shut down. Don't want to give him another cent.

- Woke up at 04:20 Hrs

- Had Coffee and Contemplation at my Battle Station

- Did 12 push ups and sit ups in addition to my back exercises. Keeping up the streak

- Listened to Episode #145 of Andy's Podcast - Day 145: Even More Ways to Make Cold Approaches FUN

More of a Tinder guy, but I liked the suggestions in this one. Some good ideas to use in conversations with girls and to have a bit of fun/lighten the mood.

- Got my hair cut. Feeling and looking better as a result

- Bought my brother's birthday present. Also got myself a few bits - a CD disk drive that plugs into my laptop and 2 Blink 182 CD's (one of my favourite bands) which I've now burnt onto my Sony Walkman. Beats paying monthly subscriptions to 'Crapple' Music and Amazon. CD's are cheap as hell these days - I picked these 2 up for 3 bucks total. Ripping from YouTube works, but I've found the quality isn't as good. At least I'll own the music doing it this way. I'm now actively avoiding monthly subscriptions to stuff.

- Found the old Gym Schedule from my P.T. I have re-printed and filled out new sheets and copied the exercises over ready for another round of workouts.

- Cleared out my closet - sounds like a metaphor or an Eminem song I know, but this is something I'd been putting off: I pull out a coat or a jacket and a mountain of clothes in there falls out. A Half-hour job and it's now much more organised. Feeling good now this is done.

- Watched some more Anime (Berserk). Good to watch something that ain't the fear porn news.

That’s it for todays update 📝

Photos have been posted for accountability purposes 📷

Thanks for reading 📖

Spider 🕷
 
Day 97: 16/01/2022 ✅

Driving to hit my gym goals 🎯

Today I got my car on the drive and charged up the battery as it was a bit slow to start. It's recently passed it's annual check, so I'm now road legal. I've also bought some anti-fog spray for the windscreen and windows and an insulated windscreen cover/frost-guard for limiting the ice that forms on it during this bad winter weather. This will save me time in the mornings as regards de-icing as I have a plan for hitting my fitness goals (see below) which is going to be time-critical in the mornings 🔋⚡️

With this new job, it's made things a little complicated and difficult to hit my fitness goals. Here's a quick rundown why:

- I have to get up 04:20 Hrs in the morning to catch the bus to work as I work in the city an hour away
- I have to travel at 06:23 Hrs on the bus - I'm not a confident driver and there's nowhere to park anyway
- Gym is a 30 minute walk away - time pressure
- I can't go after work as it's too busy, so early morning is best
- I'm gonna need to shower before I head to work and I'm not dragging more stuff on my walk down to the Gym

👎

It's a 5 minute drive or a 30 minute walk to the Gym in the morning. So here's the plan:

- Put work clothes, work bag and shower bag in the car the night before
- Cover the windscreen up night before - anti-fog it once or twice a week
- Set my Gym clothes out the night before so I can get changed into them straight away
- Wake up at 04:20 or maybe a little earlier if I need to
- Grab my lunch/bulking food
- Drive down to the Gym at 04:45 Hrs
- Workout and have a shower after - walk around the corner and catch bus at 06:23 Hrs
- Leave car on Gym car park. Pick it up after work and drive home.

👍

I'm going to use this week to get used to driving to the gym. I haven't driven in many months due to the car not being road-legal as it failed it's yearly test so I'm gonna need to build up some confidence before I execute the plan ⬆️

💭Good plan. Need to hustle on it now.💭

Today's Update 📝

- Woke up at 04:20 Hrs. Lay in bed for an hour on my phone. Going to try to limit doing this going forward on weekends. I should be reading or doing something productive with this time 🌅

- Had Coffee and Contemplation at my Battle Station ☕️ 💭

- Listened to Episode #146 of Andy's Podcast - Day 146: What Counter-Strike Can Teach Us About Self-Improvement [Part 1] 🎤

Jocko has some similar advice on his Podcast I listened to a while back. He was going on about college and military training how he made it out to be 'a game' that he would play with the goal of dominating and being out to win. I used to play videogames all the time when I was in my teens, but it's something I try avoid nowadays as I feel it's an achievement simulator. I'd rather win at real life than in the virtual world. Fuck Zuckerberg and his gay ass 'Metaverse' mind control plotting. Keep me the hell out of it.

- Did 13 push ups and sit ups in addition to my back exercises/stretches. Keeping up the streak 💯

- Bought some more meal prep containers. Needed some spares in line with my diet plan - should arrive later this week 🥘

- Did some work on the car - frost proofing and fitted 2 bulbs 💡

- Took the car for a drive. Waited until it got very quiet on the roads and I took it out for 20 minutes. Felt weird, but it was the first hurdle that needed overcoming confidence-wise. Gonna try take it out a couple of nights in the week to get used to the route. Luckily it should be quiet early mornings when I come to drive it down to the Gym. When I come back of a night might be a pain as it'll be rush hour, but it's not that bad of a trip home 🏠

That's it for today's update 📝

Photos have been posted below for accountability purposes 📷

Thanks for reading 📖

Spider 🕷
 
Zug said:
Loving the gym planning,
Click to expand...

Hey Zug

I thought about what you said the other day and it’s about time I got off my ass and actually lifted some iron instead of half-assing it from home.

I think once I strengthen my core more with proper exercises and use of actual equipment, my back will start to feel the benefits. I’ll still keep up with the stretches, push ups and sit ups, but see them as complimentary as opposed to an alternative to proper gym workouts.

Thanks again man - your input is always appreciated ⬆️

Regards,

Spider 🕷
 
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