Spider’s Progress Log 🕷 DAY 366: Continuation Log Link ⛓️

[Spider Jerusalem]

Day 363: 08/10/2022

No-Fap/No Porn Day 7 365 2 Day Countdown

I started and have quietly been doing No-Fap/No Porn for the last 7 Days now

I decided to start again with this for a number of reasons, but with my new 365 Project starting soon, I felt this was especially important.️

Although I think a lot of the benefits of doing No-Fap are overexaggerated, I've certainly found through personal experience that fapping zaps your energy ️ It also makes me lethargic and gives me concentration issues and 'brain fog' 🌫

When I'm trying to focus on working out and getting my fitness up, this is the absolute last thing I need which was why I decided to try again in time for my new project

I've got the tracker on my phone I'm using If I get further than I did the last time I put serious effort in, I'll print another 90 Day Mind-Map off and start filling one of those in like I did previously

I've also knocked the pornography on the head. Not that I'd really watch it anyway, but I just don't want to waste any time on it. My issue was Reddit where I’d just scroll on a few NSFW pages I’ve now just stopped going on Reddit to stop me from doing this

Seems a bit sad to just sit there watching it and wasting my time when I would rather have the real thing

When I've got Firecracker who I'm seeing semi-regularly anyway, do I really need to Fap? Have I got such little self-control over my own body that I really need to watch porn and jack off every day?

I'm not a horny, thirsty teenager anymore and I've been needing to start acting like a man who's in control of his own body and emotions for a long time 🏛

365 2 Day Countdown

Felt this was worth mentioning as I'm now in the final stretch. Just 2 Days to go until this 365 project is complete

I'm looking forward to starting the next one

Thanks for reading

Spider 🕷

 

[Spider Jerusalem]

Day 364: 08/10/2022

Back in the Gym: Gym 22 365 1 Day Countdown

Back in the Gym: Gym 22

Got into the Gym this morning





First one back in a while, but I'm feeling much better and I'll be starting my new project soon, so going back today was ideal really. A light leg workout for 35-40 minutes this morning so nothing too killer

Just feels good to be back into it after a while

365 1 Day Countdown

Tomorrow will mark the end of my 365 Day Project

Almost at the finish line and I'm pretty much ready to get straight into the next one

I'll be doing an 'end of project' review tomorrow where I'll assess what I've learned and do a brief summary

This will include reading through my log and highlighting the significant parts of the project/year

1 more post to go.

Thanks for reading

Spider 🕷

 

[Spider Jerusalem]

DAY 365: 10/11/2022

DAY 365: MISSION ACCOMPLISHED 365 PROJECT COMPLETE!

Well, we Fucking did it boys.

I've achieved what I set out to achieve 365 Days ago today:

I have posted on this log EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. For a WHOLE YEAR.

I honestly didn't think I was going to be able to finish this project. I'm absolutely amazed at myself that I managed to make it to the end despite all of the struggles that I've experienced throughout the year and the requirement for the consistency

I want to start off by giving a fair few mentions to everyone who helped support me throughout this project:

KillYourInnerLoser
Holden
AskTheDom
MakingAComeback
Squilliam
Dewm
colgate
Brother_Tucker
Radical
Manganiello
Crisis_Overcomer
Jacobpalmer123
Now
SIGMA_1234
MILFandCookies
Now
Bman
Hard2Focus
Olafsmash
pancakemouse
Sprezza

Apologies if I’ve missed anyone but a big thank you to you all

I thought I'd do an end of year review today on some of the significant events of the past year for my own clarity. It's good to have it in front of you sometimes on a page

15 Lays

Managed to Fuck 15 Girls this year which works out to roughly 1 each month plus a few extra. Some of these ended badly, but it was a learning experience for me particularly around red flags, boundary setting, valuing and respecting my time and acknowledging my own self-worth. Special thanks to Brother_Tucker for all of his support and valuable guidance throughout my getting laid journey this year. I learnt some hard lessons, but ones which I will carry forward with me for the rest of my life

1 FWB

Got myself a FWB type situation with Firecracker - a girl who's slim, pretty, submissive, is easy to get on with and wants sex pretty much 24/7. I used the techniques I've learned from Andy's articles and other forum members on here to help me get this girl and we now have a regular arrangement in place

Managed my mental health

Had a very tough time over the years which ultimately led to me having a mental breakdown earlier this year. Thought it was worth mentioning on here what I've been through so I can lay it all out and see how far I've come:

- Carrying a lot of trauma from my service in the police
- Nursed my mom through cancer treatment
- Gave my dad CPR when he had a heart attack earlier this year
- Childhood trauma (I don't wish to discuss or go into detail on this).
- Worked at a disabled kids charity - I'd regularly come into contact with terminally ill kids.
- Had consensual sex with a girl who turned round and gave me the whole 'I regret it' the day after.
- Had a very stressful job where I was lied to and not supported by management.
- Had a panic attack at Jiu-Jitsu training over fear of giving my parents COVID
- Dropped out of my Uni Master's Course and felt like a huge failure

After being officially diagnosed with depression and anxiety and having many medical tests etc. I am now managing my mental health. It's not perfect and it never will be, but I've gone from not being able to get out of bed and regularly having breakdowns to being in a much better place. Appreciate all the support I've had from everyone on the forums in relation to this

Survived COVID (lol) (lol)

I put this in as a little joke, but I had COVID and the worst part was being in isolation for 7 days when I was just kinda recovering from my mental health breakdown and I'd just started a new job. Being shut in your room during this time = not good, but I got through it

Got a Management Job

I'm now working in a job that I'm coping with as an assistant manager. I've recently had a pay rise as well. My shift pattern is 4 on 3 off currently which is really nice as it gives me time to focus on other things that I actually care about - Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, the Gym and self-improvement in general

Started Jiu Jitsu

I started Jiu-Jitsu again. This was a massive 'Fuck you' to my anxiety as it was quite stressful to go back. Wanna give special thanks to Adam who's been very supportive as a fellow Jiu-Jitsu practitioner. Want to also give a shoutout to Red who helped me when I was stressing about missing sessions due to being off sick recently. Many thanks to you both

Started to hit the Gym

Another big victory against anxiety. Was doing well with the consistency on this one until recently when I got sick, but I'll be back on this this week as part of my new project

Did a Podcast with Andy

Was really good to sit down with Andy and discuss things with him. It helped put everything in perspective and he gave me some solid advice which I've taken on board - particularly the mirror trick

Started working on my financial goals

Been saving a fair bit of money each month and putting it into my savings account. This is going to be a challenge going forwards with the state of the economy and the cost of living crisis, but I'm glad I've started. Also cut my monthly expenditures right down which has helped a lot

Started Driving again

This was a big one for me after a car crash when I was younger (not my fault) and almost being killed by a drug dealer fleeing the police earlier this year. Bit the bullet, had some refresher lessons and I've now been driving pretty much every day. This has really changed my life and has made going to the gym etc. much, much easier: Really helps you go when it's a 5 minute drive and not a 40 minute walk each way

Graduated from University Top of my Class

I managed to get myself a degree. I'm the only one in my family who has been to University and I put the graft in and managed to graduate top of my class

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There were also a couple of other things that I tried and didn't materialise:

- Website - I pretty much decided I wanted to focus on my fitness instead, so I knocked this on the head. Something to potentially come back to

- Fallout Style Quests/Rewards - I was running out of ideas and wasting money on rewards for the sake of it, so dropped this after a bit

- Going MGTOW. Stupid mindset which I got talked out of pretty early on which I'm very grateful for. It's good for awareness, but not something I think should be taken as gold

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And that is it for my final post for this 365 Project

My next post will be tomorrow as I start the new 365 Project which I will put in the 'Private Area' of this Forum

Thank you or joining me on my journey so far and all of the support - I really couldn’t have done it without you guys

Spider Jerusalem signing off





🕷

 

[colgate / bulldog]

congrats dude, the consistency was admirable

i respected the honesty about the days you weren't taking action and had to just "filler post", given that most of the time you were taking action and working on yourself.

- Going MGTOW. Stupid mindset which I got talked out of pretty early on which I'm very grateful for. It's good for awareness, but not something I think should be taken as gold

i remember this and i remember you immediately being called out for it and then following that advice and you went on to get 15 lays+plate over the past year while trying to juggle and handle your mental issues

looking forward to the fitness log!!

 

[Squilliam]

Hey man, appreciate the shoutout. Glad I was able to help, I liked your consistency.

15 lays in one year is great man. Congrats and I wish you even better luck in the next year!

 

[Aku]

Damn you went through a lot in those 365 days. I admire the dedication.

Great work man

 

[SpicyBoi]

Spider Jerusalem

Congrats man. Make sure to soak it all up, that’s a lot of changes in one year. Then onto the next one

 

[Spider Jerusalem]

congrats dude, the consistency was admirable

i respected the honesty about the days you weren't taking action and had to just "filler post", given that most of the time you were taking action and working on yourself.
Spider Jerusalem wrote: ↑Mon Oct 10, 2022 6:44 am
- Going MGTOW. Stupid mindset which I got talked out of pretty early on which I'm very grateful for. It's good for awareness, but not something I think should be taken as gold
i remember this and i remember you immediately being called out for it and then following that advice and you went on to get 15 lays+plate over the past year while trying to juggle and handle your mental issues

looking forward to the fitness log!!

colgate

Thankyou my man! much appreciated!

I'm just very grateful I had guys on the forums to put my head on straight and help me man up to take on the responsibility for my own actions and see how it was me letting bad shit happen with my dating life by tolerating shitty behaviour and not setting the boundaries. That certainly helped me get those 15 lays when I stepped up and started taking 'Extreme Ownership'.

Thanks again for the support!

Spider

 

[Spider Jerusalem]

Hey man, appreciate the shoutout. Glad I was able to help, I liked your consistency.

15 lays in one year is great man. Congrats and I wish you even better luck in the next year!

Squilliam

Thanks dude! It was better than I was hoping for as I was thinking I wouldn't get more than like 5!

I'll keep pushing and see how I do this coming year. I'm off the dating sites for the time being to focus on the fitness, but we'll see how I get on!

Spider

 

[Spider Jerusalem]

Damn you went through a lot in those 365 days. I admire the dedication.

Great work man

Aku

Thanks dude! It's been a bit of a rough ride, but I think it's made me a lot stronger and helped me learn a lot about myself.

I've subscribed to your log and I always enjoy reading about your dates and lays - you been really killing it lately with the dating!

Thanks again!

Spider

 

[Spider Jerusalem]

Congrats man. Make sure to soak it all up, that’s a lot of changes in one year. Then onto the next one

SpicyBoi

Thanks my man! Feels pretty surreal and I still can't believe I've actually completed it!

I'm starting the next one today, so I'm getting straight into it

Thanks again!

Spider

 

[Spider Jerusalem]

You've done a hell of a lot, it's been impressive to watch. And look at all the challenges you overcame, and have become a stronger man because of them.

Really really inspiring, mate. And straight into another 365 project? I fucking love it.
-Andy

KillYourInnerLoser

Massive thanks to you Andy. Really appreciate all your help and support throughout the year as well as the fact it was your podcast project that inspired me to take on my own 365 in the first place

I'm looking forward to jumping straight into the next one - I find if I slow down and take a break on things, I end up procrastinating and completely stopping: I've recognised this is one of my behaviours from my 365 Project. It's surprised me how much it's helped me learn a lot about myself.

Thanks again man - couldn't have done it without you

Spider

 

[Spider Jerusalem]

Day 366: 11/10/2022

Just a quick post to drop the continuation of my new Progress Log in the Private Area of the Forums:

https://killyourinnerloser.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=40&t=1690&p=44076#p44076

Thanks for reading

Spider 🕷

 

[Spider Jerusalem]

KillYourInnerLoser

Yep, I'm very much the same.

I've found as well that this is when all of my insecurities, anxiety and depression start to creep back in so having this 365 Project really has done wonders for my mental health. I'm now going to take a look at my physical health with the new 365

Well, a 365 Project is very much you getting to know yourself deeply for an entire year. Reveals a hell of a lot about yourself.

I definitely know myself better now than I did a year ago

Thanks Andy - appreciate the input

 

[MakingAComeback]

GOOD JOB SPIDER!!!!!!!

Has been a pleasure reading ya.

Next one will bring even bigger success.

MAC

 

[Spider Jerusalem]

GOOD JOB SPIDER!!!!!!!

Has been a pleasure reading ya.

Next one will bring even bigger success.

MAC

MakingAComeback

Thanks MAC! Been a pleasure having you drop in from time to time

Appreciate the support!

 

[Aspire2Greatness]

Your consistency is really inspiring to say the least! Congrats and good fucking job on completing your 365. I've peeped your log from time to time and what a ride it's been. What stuck with me the most was your breakdown earlier this year. I just remember how "weird" it was seeing someone who in my mind was on what seemed to be a solid trajectory end up on anti-depressants, changing jobs and so forth.

Big thanks for sharing so much of your life experiences on here - it has been a great, frequent reminder that life/progress isn't a straight, predictable line.

Really looking forward to the next 12 months!

 

[Manganiello]

I've achieved what I set out to achieve 365 Days ago today:

Congrats man. You had a really impressive progression line. Just looking back at your early posts it's clear just how much progress you've made.

Lots of 365 projects on here get started but not too many get finished. Good job mate.

 

[Brother_Tucker]

Great work Spider,

I dip in and out of lots of logs on the forums, but yours was one I read from start to finish. You started off in a bad place and over the year you took responsibility. It was a long road but your mindset is considerably better and your way of looking at situations has completely shifted from - This is why it sucked and she ruined it --> what could I have done better?

You started valuing your time and stopped opting into bad situations. You had a few times where you wavered but eventually made the right choice. Recent dates such as the girl that blue balled you or the Amsterdam trip are examples where you started off on a bad note but made the right calls to put yourself first and avoid worse situations.

You dealt with a girl that had sex with you then regretted it, multiple ghosting, disrespectful girls and stopped losing money on hotel bookings where the girl no showed. Despite everything that happened, your situations all look a lot better than the dates you shared in the beginning of your journey.

The whole point of this stuff is not to end up with a revolving door of Victoria secret models. It's to have the sex life you want and be confident in who you are as a person. I think this journey has been great for you and I'm happy you're in a better place than where it started. Obviously you're not done yet, I look forward to your next log series.

 

[Spider Jerusalem]

Day 56: 03/12/2022

Handling my Business + Tinder Date: Flaked 50 Mins Before!

Handling my Business

Started getting shit done today after my recent realisation that motivation cannot be relied upon. I need to be my own corrective mechanism for when I turn lazy.

Went to the Gym tonight for a proper workout - not just a Fuck-around:





I've been listening to Jocko's Podcast again where he talks heavily about discipline. I listened to this whilst cleaning my room today. This was step 1 on the path of discipline. It's a job which I hate doing, but I did it anyway.

I've also reset my no-fap counter. Gonna make another go of it.

On top of this, I've done a food shop today for my diet and meal prepped. Hoping to get back on this as well this week.

So that's step 1 on the path of discipline complete.

I think I'll get up early and go to the Gym again tomorrow.

Tinder Date: Flaked 50 Mins Before!

The saga continues!

Arranged a coffee date today with a girl I spoke to on Tinder last night.

I'm trying to meet girls as soon as possible due to the number of ghosts, flakes and general 'blankers' I've been bombarded with lately.

Shot my shot with this chick last night and pitched a date at 2 P.M today at a coffee place in town.

So, we get to 50 minutes before the date, and... she flakes.

Gave some excuse about having to look after her brother in Birmingham.

Told her the polite thing to do would be to reschedule and that I'm free after work tomorrow if she wants a glass of wine round hers.

She left me on read for half an hour, so I followed up with a message telling her it's not on that she can flake an hour before and then leave me on 'read' when I'm trying to reschedule, especially as I'd made the trip up town especially and got ready.

I've had enough of being disrespected this week to the point where I'm no longer putting up with it.

She stated that she's not comfortable with me coming round hers the first time, so I've said 'let's get a drink a drink at a bar first then. 7 P.M at X Place. I'll come pick you up so you can have a drink. Whereabouts you at?'.

No reply. Think this is another bad lead.

Holden Squilliam AskTheDom

Thanks guys for chipping in on my log today - I'll try and take your advice and take the win of having the bollocks to chat up a stranger and get a number twice.

Thanks for reading

Spider