Thrice log. weird saturday night

[Thrice]

Definitely text her in the evening, very important. Asking for sex directly only works if she's a "special kind" of woman, she's mega horny and you have a significantly higher SMV.
Text something indirect but still clear, like "Do you have plans for the next few days? I have some good wine at home and if we click, you might even get a massage by candlelight." Sounds cringe, but works extremly well, copied it from a friend. Works better than any other Netflix and chill shit for me.

will try thanks, considering the type of girl she will most likely just block me but who cares. Like the girl who asked for a threesome proved, this girls are weird and have stuff going on behind the scenes, i see no reason for avoiding beign a bit direct

Only her name + this smiley aka „Lin “

do you means like this:

roisin


i don't know because that smile makes it look like i'm complaining. She thinks saturday could work for her and it's just thursday.

 

[Terminator]

I'm trying to solve this problem by reminding myself that this my last chance because i'm already 35 and soon i will be too old for young girls.

On the second thing, damn I feel similar. I'm 33 and my SMV is good at the moment, better than it's ever been actually. BUT I have certain concerns about the future in a romantic sense tbh. What are your ambitions?

(Cropped the quotes.)

I watched a video from Andy a few days ago about being in a rush to complete your goals, but I can't find it now. That one was tangential to this topic as well. I don't believe fear is a good motivator unless you haven't started working on your goals yet. But since we are currently in the process, I don't think acting out of fear feeds the energy we want to be feeding. Not saying that you are acting out of fear, just that when I catch myself thinking along those lines, it is definitely fear that's the underlying emotion for me. Positive motivation feeds and invites positivity, while negativity does the opposite. I think it would be more helpful to frame it around the lines of "now that I'm still young, I have the opportunity to..." instead of "I'm already xx y/o and this is my last chance".

 

[Thrice]

"now that I'm still young, I have the opportunity to..." instead of "I'm already xx y/o and this is my last chance".

yes that's a good way to frame, i've also heardabout evolutionary pressure intead of any kind of fear ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dBTUVh0DmTU )
---------------

today looks a bit dry. The girl i don't click with actually replied, i think she wants to use me to meet friends or something. She talked a lot about needing friends when we met. I want to fuck her not help her, so i actually don't know how to go about it.
the other girl roisin replied too, we have a date tomorrow in La spezia, seaside. It's beautifull there so i'm thinking of bringng the camera with me to take new pictures for tinder. If we do click same logistic propblems will present themselves, it's 1hour away from my house

i said today looks a bit dry because there's nothing going on in clubs in my area, they're all advertising events for tomorrow, nothing for today, i actually don't know why.

Will update about what i decide to do, the ideal is to start approaching.
------------------------------------

this is the only club that has something going on tonight but i feel a bit uneasy at the idea of going here alone. It's a different kind of club, 90% of people there are students and they already know eachother for the most part. I know it's just excuses and i will need to grow some balls

https://www.instagram.com/pulpclubparma/

 

[Thrice]

so i have a date tonight with the 24yo irish girl, she looks excited about the date, liking every message i send and stuff like that. I want to move from the brother-sister kind of dates i had till now and start pulling the trigger, or in other words pull the penis out. Will try and see what i can do, maybe sexualize the conversation a little bit after testing the water and her personality

Logistic is a problem but i can always go for an airbnb, less expensive than hookers anyway

I had a stroll downtown for shopping and it's so frustrating to look at all those young girls, i was struck like a deer in a headlights

the girls i match on tinder are older and less attractive and can't even fuck them. Will see

 

[Squilliam]

You're doing great man. It's only a matter of time until you get laid

 

[Thrice]

You're doing great man. It's only a matter of time until you get laid

Thanks bud but I'm not where i want to be to be honest

The date was good yesterday, the girl has an amazing personality, very smart and talkative, very sweet too. Still nothing happened. It was like friends going for drinks.

And if I wanted a second date with her it's a 1.5hour trip. Don't know if this stuff is sustainable. I'm doing what i have to do, even talking to a girl is experience, but i've been 10 years in this community, not exactly a newbie so I'm not in a position to celebrate this friendly walks with girls.

Putting things into perspective i went from a depressed guy not showering to getting dates. But it's been 10 fucking years and i still didn't touch a cute girl.

I had blackpill rage yesterday at zara thinking that all those young beautiful girls are fucking and sex is such a natural part of their life that they wouldn't be able to understand even in 100 years why guys like me are sexless and need communities like this

Again we can put things into perspective, i have good looks at 35, for girls is over after 30 because biology programmed woman for only one reproductive cycle. But still looking at this young girls gets me angry, even knowing that in a few years they will hit the wall and i will still be here

Now i will get the full sleeve tattoo done and double down on my fuckboy look for the summer. I will use the car i have as an opportunity to do local night game.

In regards about using the car to travel around north italy for tinder dates I'm very confused, should i keep doing it?

For now it's been 1hour travel on average for sexless dates. Italy is amazing to travel around but my goal is not exactly backpacking

Using the car for night game and save money would be a better option, i only need 10euros to hit local clubs

I never tested myself on what i can get by hitting the clubs every Friday and every saturday. But I'm still in 200k city, which is not ideal for tinder but not that ideal for night game either.

I Don't know what to do to be honest, i would like to have a cool ig page and play in a band and have cool pictures of me singing or playing guitar in a metalcore band showing tattoos and stuff... What I'm doing for this other goal? Nothing, i even stopped practicing singing and guitar

 

[Squilliam]

Thanks bud but I'm not where i want to be to be honest

The date was good yesterday, the girl has an amazing personality, very smart and talkative, very sweet too. Still nothing happened. It was like friends going for drinks.

And if I wanted a second date with her it's a 1.5hour trip. Don't know if this stuff is sustainable. I'm doing what i have to do, even talking to a girl is experience, but i've been 10 years in this community, not exactly a newbie so I'm not in a position to celebrate this friendly walks with girls.

Putting things into perspective i went from a depressed guy not showering to getting dates. But it's been 10 fucking years and i still didn't touch a cute girl.

I had blackpill rage yesterday at zara thinking that all those young beautiful girls are fucking and sex is such a natural part of their life that they wouldn't be able to understand even in 100 years why guys like me are sexless and need communities like this

Again we can put things into perspective, i have good looks at 35, for girls is over after 30 because biology programmed woman for only one reproductive cycle. But still looking at this young girls gets me angry, even knowing that in a few years they will hit the wall and i will still be here

Now i will get the full sleeve tattoo done and double down on my fuckboy look for the summer. I will use the car i have as an opportunity to do local night game.

In regards about using the car to travel around north italy for tinder dates I'm very confused, should i keep doing it?

For now it's been 1hour travel on average for sexless dates. Italy is amazing to travel around but my goal is not exactly backpacking

Using the car for night game and save money would be a better option, i only need 10euros to hit local clubs

I never tested myself on what i can get by hitting the clubs every Friday and every saturday. But I'm still in 200k city, which is not ideal for tinder but not that ideal for night game either.

I Don't know what to do to be honest, i would like to have a cool ig page and play in a band and have cool pictures of me singing or playing guitar in a metalcore band showing tattoos and stuff... What I'm doing for this other goal? Nothing, i even stopped practicing singing and guitar

Your logistics are definitely holding you back. You should make a plan to get that sorted ASAP. It's way harder to get laid if you don't have reasonable logistics (not having your own place, or living far away etc). Figure out how you can move closer to where your dates typically are.

That being said, you can probably still make it happen. I got laid when I was living with parents or in an inconvenient location. I would fuck girls at their places. Much more of a hassle but it is definitely doable.

AFAIK Holden lives in a fairly inconvenient location and his sex life is popping.

Yes, women can't fully understand our problems, just as we won't fully understand theirs.

If you keep going out on dates and trying to fuck the girls, inevitably you will eventually get laid. It's just the law of large numbers. It's easy to become hopeless. Before meeting my current FWB I went on 20+ consecutive dates (not exaggerating), without a single lay. Sooner or later, the statistics do their thing. Law of large numbers.

Look at it this way. If a guy goes on 100 dates, there's an extremely small chance that they'd go 0/100, they'd have to get absurdly unlucky. Likewise, there's an extremely small chance they'd go 100/100, being absurdly lucky. Both scenarios are extremely unlikely to happen, you're likely to get laid 5 or 10% of the time or whatever the number is, even as a newbie.

You do have to make it happen though. I've had girls initiate on me, but I would say it probably happens 1 in every 40-50 dates.

I digress, there's my logical ADHD rant on statistics.

 

[Yggdrasil13]

I had blackpill rage yesterday at zara thinking that all those young beautiful girls are fucking and sex is such a natural part of their life that they wouldn't be able to understand even in 100 years why guys like me are sexless and need communities like this

Again we can put things into perspective, i have good looks at 35, for girls is over after 30 because biology programmed woman for only one reproductive cycle. But still looking at this young girls gets me angry, even knowing that in a few years they will hit the wall and i will still be here

It’s understandable to get frustrated. I think most of us have been there at one point. Still, what I’ve realized is that raging at the opposite sex is not a trait of successful people. Like think about the fat girl who can’t get a boyfriend and loathes men for pumping and dumping her. You’re like a (less extreme) male version of that. Raging really just exposes your own issues. Every time I hear an “all men are pigs” line from a girl I think she should just the fuck up and go to therapy. They hold you responsible for their own failures in love. And if you think about it, your inability to get laid for 10 years IS your own failure. If you weren’t showering, weren’t taking care of your appearance, etc. then of course you weren’t getting laid. Take some responsibility instead of seething at the cute girls in Zara.

Anyway, if you’re getting dates with attractive girls consistently the issue is not your looks. There’s no reason to even focus on the black pill. I’ve not seen it written about, but a lot of guys, especially inexperienced guys with average social skills, hit a wall being unable to close dates. It happened to me, and there’s several guys on this site who are going through the same thing rn. And it’s the same problem, the date turns into “getting drinks with a friend.” Personally, what I had to realize (by being told lol) was that the mental model of show up to date, make small talk, get laid is a bad one. You have to build sexual tension or you’re only going to close infrequently. Right now you’re building a skill of being able to vibe and flirt with girls, one you’re going to need. I think some guys start off with this skill from life experience so they don’t talk about it much. Nonetheless, if you keep going on dates it eventually will click for you. You’re in a good place.

And I would tell you to let go of the jealousy. It will only hurt you.

 

[Terminator]

In regards to the frustration and anger about women; I don't know what it is that finally clicked with me recently, but it was a combination of videos I watched from Andy, books I read (How To Text A Girl and Blackdragon's Ultimate Online Dating Manual) that made me able to understand women a bit more and relinquish my resentments towards them. Feel compassion even. It isn't anyone's fault - it's just how the world works and has always worked. It's just the name of the game. You can't change women - but you can change yourself and your attitude. There's something about it that's very empowering.

I can also relate to the feels of going on friend-dates. That's what I used to do in the recent years after convincing myself that escalation is evil. Watching a bunch of videos and reading those books also helped with that. I realized that the women want me to seduce them - they wouldn't go on the date if they didn't. It's my responsibility to take the lead. Physical touch is the most important thing. I'm still not that great at flirting, but in the GLL days my conversations were almost always purely platonic - but I would consistently try to escalate physically. Touch her arm, touch her hands, put your arm around her, massage her neck, massage her feet... etc. Of course most of this is best done when you're at her or your place, so you need to figure out a way to make that happen first.

Meeting girls from online is great, because simply due to the way online works, just the fact that she matched with you she thinks you're higher than her in SMV. Girls get so many matches they really don't need to bother with matching guys at or below their level. You can use this truth to feel more confident about yourself with her.

 

[Vamos]

I watched a video from Andy a few days ago about being in a rush to complete your goals, but I can't find it now. That one was tangential to this topic as well. I don't believe fear is a good motivator unless you haven't started working on your goals yet. But since we are currently in the process, I don't think acting out of fear feeds the energy we want to be feeding. Not saying that you are acting out of fear, just that when I catch myself thinking along those lines, it is definitely fear that's the underlying emotion for me. Positive motivation feeds and invites positivity, while negativity does the opposite. I think it would be more helpful to frame it around the lines of "now that I'm still young, I have the opportunity to..." instead of "I'm already xx y/o and this is my last chance".

You are right to be honest, in the end, if we are honest with ourselves, fear is the underlying emotion, fear of taking the wrong path and regretting it later.

I think that as a man in the western world, who works on himself, has a solid education and profession and other qualities (one should be realistic about this), we have different options on how to approach our lives. For this reason, I wanted to open a thread in this forum to hear the points of views of other 30+ men on what they think about it.

Girls get so many matches they really don't need to bother with matching guys at or below their level. You can use this truth to feel more confident about yourself with her.

You make good posts man, that's exactly how you should think and that's exactly how it is. Every woman has endless options through social media and dating apps. My last plate had 9,999+ likes 2 weeks after opening her tinder account, I even took a picture of it.
If she goes out with you, it means you're definitely one of the better quality men (at least that's what she thinks).

 

[Squilliam]

You make good posts man, that's exactly how you should think and that's exactly how it is. Every woman has endless options through social media and dating apps. My last plate had 9,999+ likes 2 weeks after opening her tinder account, I even took a picture of it.
If she goes out with you, it means you're definitely one of the better quality men (at least that's what she thinks).

Yeah, this fact is such an ego boost and a source of pain at the same time.

It's actually crazy how many options women have. Knowing this, especially when you're not doing well with your sex life, hurts like hell, and can lend itself to hopelessness.

At the same time, knowing that I got laid with her despite all those matches, clearly says something about my sex appeal.

Also, I would guess that a good 80%+ of those matches/messages/options/whatever they're not interested in whatsoever. The actual pool of good quality men that also want to date them is probably a lot smaller than the match numbers would have you believe.

 

[Zug]

It's actually crazy how many options women have. Knowing this, especially when you're not doing well with your sex life, hurts like hell, and can lend itself to hopelessness.

What? Why? What does one have to do with another? Why is her appeal being so high a negative hit to your emotions?

You can experience the same thing if you want. Go on Seeking and put your networth as 10m+ and see what its like. Or go to a 3rd world country and swipe on Tinder.

The experience isn't what its cracked up to be. Yeah you get a billion likes, but that creates new problems that are hard to deal with. Everyone being so thirsty for you creates this issue where they are all similar faceless drones. No one has any personality or challenge or difficulty or interest when they're all drooling after you. You can't tell if people like anything about you other than your face, ass, tits, or wallet. It dehumanizes you and makes things entirely about sex and finding real human connection becomes more difficult.

I'm not saying this isn't a better problem than being totally undesirable, but it does offer new unique drawbacks that come along with it. There are a lot of these girls who legit have zero real friends or meaningful connection with anyone. They live entirely in a dystopian world of fake relationships and social posturing all day.

 

[Squilliam]

What? Why? What does one have to do with another? Why is her appeal being so high a negative hit to your emotions?

You can experience the same thing if you want. Go on Seeking and put your networth as 10m+ and see what its like. Or go to a 3rd world country and swipe on Tinder.

The experience isn't what its cracked up to be. Yeah you get a billion likes, but that creates new problems that are hard to deal with. Everyone being so thirsty for you creates this issue where they are all similar faceless drones. No one has any personality or challenge or difficulty or interest when they're all drooling after you. You can't tell if people like anything about you other than your face, ass, tits, or wallet. It dehumanizes you and makes things entirely about sex and finding real human connection becomes more difficult.

I'm not saying this isn't a better problem than being totally undesirable, but it does offer new unique drawbacks that come along with it. There are a lot of these girls who legit have zero real friends or meaningful connection with anyone. They live entirely in a dystopian world of fake relationships and social posturing all day.

You are correct. I don't think we exactly disagree here. I'm well aware of the problems that women have to deal with from online. Just, as you said, it's still a better problem than being undesirable.

The reason why it hurts me is probably because it reinforces the idea that I'm disposable. You say that the pool of thirsty guys coming after women dehumanizes them, and I agree, but I would argue that this often results in the same being done back to us. I feel disposable to women, because in my mind, they will never have trouble finding another guy. Maybe these feelings aren't exactly rational, but the absurd amount of choice they have makes me feel like no girl will value me unless I tick all her boxes, which just almost never happens. I guess what I'm saying is, I feel that women are more inclined to treat me like I'm disposable when they have so many options.

I acknowledge the irrationality of my feelings, but that doesn't make the feelings go away.

 

[Perseus]

Or go to a 3rd world country and swipe on Tinder.

Yeah. Here in SE Asia Im permanently on 99+ likes but filtering the girls with actual potential has been such a chore that I decided to swipe left on every non western girl. Its a literal first world problem, but only getting 1 like a day from girls that are actually into me would actually be easier to be honest.

 

[Squilliam]

Yeah. Here in SE Asia Im permanently on 99+ likes but filtering the girls with actual potential has been such a chore that I decided to swipe left on every non western girl. Its a literal first world problem, but only getting 1 like a day from girls that are actually into me would actually be easier to be honest.

Believe it or not I can actually relate to this issue too. I get a pretty considerable amount of interest from girls I'm not into at all. The amount of girls that I'm into that actually want to go out with me is quite small however. I imagine it's the same deal for women.

 

[Thrice]

Yeah you get a billion likes, but that creates new problems

small violin playing*

 

[Adrizzle]

Now i will get the full sleeve tattoo done and double down on my fuckboy look for the summer.

Idk what your end goals are but I think this is a terrible idea IMO. If you’re not able to sexualise with girls yet, looking more fuckboy will not help with this at all. This might become a negative - girls will expect you to be a fuckboy, ie a level of escalation/game and if you don’t display that they will ghost. Hell girls can fucking notice that shit within 5 mins via body language. (Also tattoos are stupid fake veneer bullshit)

Save the money to put to logistics, car, mental/physical health.

Good to see you taking action man

 

[Thrice]

Now i will get the full sleeve tattoo done and double down on my fuckboy look for the summer.

Idk what your end goals are but I think this is a terrible idea IMO. If you’re not able to sexualise with girls yet, looking more fuckboy will not help with this at all. This might become a negative - girls will expect you to be a fuckboy, ie a level of escalation/game and if you don’t display that they will ghost. Hell girls can fucking notice that shit within 5 mins via body language. (Also tattoos are stupid fake veneer bullshit)

Save the money to put to logistics, car, mental/physical health.

Good to see you taking action man

should i dress like a sexless nerd to be congruent with the fact that i don't know how to sexualize? In this type of communities it's called fake it till you make it, i will improve my fuckboy look and become one. Girls are ghosting anyway and 90% of matches don't even reply. I don't see how the situation will get worse because you look like a fuckboy, it can only get better and dressing like a fuckboy and having tattoes is my real style anyway even if i was born gay or asexual

 

[Squilliam]

should i dress like a sexless nerd to be congruent with the fact that i don't know how to sexualize? In this type of communities it's called fake it till you make it, i will improve my fuckboy look and become one. Girls are ghosting anyway and 90% of matches don't even reply. I don't see how the situation will get worse because you look like a fuckboy, it can only get better and dressing like a fuckboy and having tattoes is my real style anyway even if i was born gay or asexual

Nah, dress like a fuckboy even if you aren't one.

Realize that being a fuckboy or a sexless nerd are not two distinct categories. It's like a spectrum.

I would say my fashion is pretty fuckboy-ish even though my personality isn't really congruent with it, but I notice progress. I don't see any benefit in dressing like a sexless nerd. IMO that just supports the hopeless idea that you'll never be a fuckboy.

 

[Thrice]

Your logistics are definitely holding you back. You should make a plan to get that sorted ASAP. It's way harder to get laid if you don't have reasonable logistics (not having your own place, or living far away etc). Figure out how you can move closer to where your dates typically are.

That being said, you can probably still make it happen. I got laid when I was living with parents or in an inconvenient location. I would fuck girls at their places. Much more of a hassle but it is definitely doable.


AFAIK Holden lives in a fairly inconvenient location and his sex life is popping.

Yes, women can't fully understand our problems, just as we won't fully understand theirs.

I thin Holden is in a big city in europe, i'm in a small town of 200k people. I'mthinking of doing at least one month in a big european city this summer, i will have to think about it and plan very well.

Who knows if a city in the coastal area in italy is good enough considering the large amount of girls from all over the world that come here or a big city in germany or east europe. I have no idea and i will have to do my research.

I don't travel often but i can tell you that Milan sucks in the summer and it's completely EMPTY. I don't know if other italian cities like Rome or Venice could do the job in july or august

yea it will happen and i have to make it happen, today i have the second date with the irish girl. She looks very enthusiastic and looking forward to meet me. i don't know if she wants to use me to visit the area and learn italian or fuck. I told her that my goal is sex on watsap and today will have to make a move. I won't be traveling 1hour again for sexless date. Tomorrow i will hit local clubs and report on that too

should i dress like a sexless nerd to be congruent with the fact that i don't know how to sexualize? In this type of communities it's called fake it till you make it, i will improve my fuckboy look and become one. Girls are ghosting anyway and 90% of matches don't even reply. I don't see how the situation will get worse because you look like a fuckboy, it can only get better and dressing like a fuckboy and having tattoes is my real style anyway even if i was born gay or asexual

Nah, dress like a fuckboy even if you aren't one.

Realize that being a fuckboy or a sexless nerd are not two distinct categories. It's like a spectrum.

I would say my fashion is pretty fuckboy-ish even though my personality isn't really congruent with it, but I notice progress. I don't see any benefit in dressing like a sexless nerd. IMO that just supports the hopeless idea that you'll never be a fuckboy.

Yes agree, but Adrizzle wanted to say something else but there's nothing wrong with dressing congruent with your FUTURE personaly, the one you're building. The opposite is dressing like a sexless guy and reinforce the current personality that you're trying to change.

I agree with his take about tattooes, they are permanent, but i like tattooes anyway. Still if i heard of someone who's going to have tattoes just to increase sex appeal i wouldn't find it wrong at all, i mean who cares. They will increase your sex appeal and as someone who has tattooes i can tell that you end up forgetting you have, not a big deal at all