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Upstart's AA Program Log

https://youtu.be/wJr2c4KgVjg

Got a date tomorrow and three more girls hitting me up on Facebook.
I took some new photos for my profiles on both Tinder and Facebook dating since I'm wearing the same shirt in both.

Take photo, replace photo, basically.

Back to drills on Monday.
 
https://youtu.be/fvjJe_AqcSY

Had my first date from Facebook Dating today. Took roughly an hour, didn't push for a kiss, just a hug before parting ways. Not bad!
I noticed that I felt much less nervous than usual and it felt pretty easy to just be myself. Date only cost $8. We had shaved ice.
Tomorrow I'm doing the day 14 drills and not leaving until I finish them.

Wednesday I'm going to a men's group geared towards dating I need to find like minds. I cannot wait!

I'm going to update my photos on Facebook Dating and Tinder and start generating more leads.
 
https://youtu.be/ycwIxn1gD9A

I STG I posted yesterday, but when I looked just now, it was still in draft mode. So y'all getting two today.

No date today, but I did have a long talk with my aunt which that ate into my time.

Today I went out to for the High 5 drills. Started at 4:17 ended at 6:18 Very low volume in a usually high volume location, but that's just an excuse. I got 3 fist bumps and 3 high fives. I tried to ease into it with fist bumps, but high fives are just as easy, while also being higher risk somehow. I try to transition into high fives from asking for the time, but I feel cringy doing that so it's probably easier to just got for the High-five. I also get too nervous and leave before I do the follow up high five.

I keep waiting for "the right time" to approach. The "most natural" way to approach. I think "social flow" is the term I'm looking for. I look for girls who don't look mean. Who don't look like they'll ignore me, leaving my hand in the air like a chode. (I will finish this drill this week swear to god!) It's not hard, but I may have to just GO FOR IT more often. To the point of chasing them down if the area is lacking in volume.

The easiest targets are girls just walking by because hopefully I won't see them again. I say "Don't leave me hanging!" and hold out my hand. Easy. If I'm too nervous to high-five I'll usually just ask for the time, which is effortless at this point, so it works well as a warm-up and social lube, lol. I have conversations with women a lot easier these days as well.

Going out on the date tomorrow and hoping to take some gym pics with my bro tomorrow. Will def check out the Men's group on wednesday. Got to source for more girls on Facebook and Tinder trying to build a better photo library. No Dslr camera yet, but working with what I got. This self-improvement project is starting to feel like a full-time job!
 
Upstart said:
I feel like I need to meet more like minded guys in my area, but ever since RSD groups shut down, I basically have no simple way of reaching them for now.
Click to expand...

Check this out: https://www.gameglobal.net/groups/

I'm a bit skeptical of the "men's group" just from the name alone. There are a lot of dating groups that give very blue pilled advice.
 
https://youtu.be/CLZx-bejhFo

pancakemouse said:
Check this out: https://www.gameglobal.net/groups/

I'm a bit skeptical of the "men's group" just from the name alone. There are a lot of dating groups that give very blue pilled advice.
Click to expand...

Thanks, Pancakemouse! I used to visit the RSD Austin Inner Circle before I went to college. I thought it all just disbanded and I had no idea where to BEGIN to look. I'm pretty good at vetting RP vs BP advice, but BP tends to be sneaky.

DAY 14 PASSED. Very quickly, actually.

I went to Walmart and knocked out the first set of 10 in 10 minutes, then went to HEB (a different Grocery store) and knocked out the second set in 8 minutes. It was surprisingly fast. The main things I remembered to do was to NOT think about reactions, just act. I was only ignored ONCE and it barely registered to me until after I finished the drills. The girl was on her phone.

I did have some awkward girls sort of lightly touch my hand and one girl who did a fist bump, which I didn't count. I really could've done more. My secret phrase was "Free high-five?" or "Collecting high-fives!" or "Don't leave me hanging!" or "Got time for a high-five?" and boom. Very easy. The first girl I approached I talk to about her dog food before the high-five, but if I did that every time it would take forever. Working my way up to a wordless high five.

My date had something come up at work so we rescheduled for tomorrow. I'm just glad to have this challenge down. I know I can handle the next one. Excited to see what this dating group is about. I just need to be around other guys rn. Too much feminine energy in my life at the moment with no balance.

Been swiping and messaging on Facebook and more on Tinder throughout the day. Very little results from my photo updates so far.

On to Day. WEEK 3!
 
https://youtu.be/adKlLHzou2k

Date flaked, for the 3rd time, so I just texted her to let me know when she has an off day if she wants to meet up. Ball's in her court. No contact from me until then.

Attended the men's group and it was great. I had a lot to share, but the advice from the coordinator wasn't much different from the pick-up advice I usually hear. In fact, the guys were asking ME which site I got this info from! Of course I referred them the GLL AA Program. I didn't intend to preach the gospel of the AA program, but I converted a few non-believers lol. Almost can't believe this thing is free! There was some good info on breath work though.

On to day 15 tomorrow!
 
https://youtu.be/w9wUJbzhoa4

This drill went by so fast I almost forgot I did it. I beat my previous time, doing 10 high-fives in 4 mins, and the second set in 4 minutes as well. I still find myself a bit nervous to approach a group of girls even though it'd help me get the drill done faster, but the fact that I could even consider myself having an "in" is a testament to my growth.

I was dressed down, but dressed well. I REALLY enjoy dressing well now. It feels fucking good. Now I want to work on lowering my body fat and working out more. I'm gonna save up for a decent DSLR camera for good profile pics. Tomorrow's drill doesn't seem too bad and even the next one (ABCs) seems doable. Can't wait to go out at night soon. Still no job, but I'm not worried about that at the moment. In fact, everything lines up for me to be able to beat this program, by the time I need to work anyway.

On to day 16!
 
https://youtu.be/WJkkSlr32xE

Today I went in more chilled than before. Took my time, but also went quickly enough to get the job done. It doesn't require much high energy to get a high five. Way less than I thought. Looking good and speaking well is half the battle. Because I dress well I don't have to be self-conscious thinking about how I look. It's a load off of my mind. All that's left is to do the drill, basically.

I find this drill to be easiest in grocery stores like Walmart.

The ABC drill may be weird, but I'm ready!
ON to day 17!
 
Didn't do anything today. Went out, but did not approach. I did not intend to not do anything. It just happened that way. Used the rest of the time to plan things out for the future.
 
https://youtu.be/GiId2EN1PFY

Starting a "job" tomorrow. I'm basically helping out on a friend's kickstarter for money.

Today I went out with my cousin and showed him the high-five drill. A lot of rejections, but some took to it alright. Because I'm confident both in how I look, the progress I've made, and past successes in other areas, I felt very little negativity.
I'll approach the ABC drill next time I'm alone.

No luck on Tinder or Facebook lately. Maybe it's because I changed my photos, but I dunno.
 
https://youtu.be/ePN296qo2UA

The last coupla days I've just been working with my friend on his Kickstarter book. Got paid for my time, so that's cool.
I did one approach with the ABC drill, it was not so bad. I'll try again in earnest tomorrow before Salsa class. I hope to make it to the day 21 drill soon, just to have an excuse to go out at night!

Very few results from Online dating lately. Maybe I should post more pics or better ones, or swipe more. Convos never start or fizzle out, even though I keep it going well on my end.
Got more tweaks to do with what I currently have.
 
https://youtu.be/sAYWq_CG1ik

I only said my ABC's to ONE woman today. ABCDEFG. She actually finished with "HIJKLMNOP" when I was done. That was cool.
TBH, I do a lot of approaches on older women, because they seem "easier" but it's easy to ask the time from younger, more attractive girls, because there's no chance of looking dumb. I know in time, I won't be afraid of any age group, so I don't beat myself up for going towards "easier targets" for now.

Messaged 30 girls on facebook dating yesterday and swiped 30 times on tinder today. Also downloaded Hinge dating app at the recommendation from a cousin, so I'll give that a shot soon. Bought several great new scents today and I'll be getting a bathroom scale tomorrow. I'm trying to create slightly better habits such as waking up earlier, making more accurate to-do lists, and eating less than I use in calories.
 
https://youtu.be/KPnmjsrW8to

I may be avoiding this drill a bit. I hung out with my friend instead of going out alone for the drill. But he did get a good pic of me in the gym for my profile, so I'll be using that. In other news, I cannot get past the email screen on Hinge for some reason. I can't even register at the moment. So I'll have to find another way in.

It seems that each drill requires one to find a way to make it work for them or to shed a layer of ego to overcome it. I know what I need to do and it just occurred to me how to do it. JUST NOW. While writing this.

If I go up to the girl to say the ABC's feeling foolish and dumb, she will feel the same. Literally reflect it back to me. But if I go up with FULL CONFIDENCE as if I'm telling her a great joke, then it doesn't matter if she feels it's dumb or not.

I will go out today with that mindset and see what happens!

Gym Pic:
 
https://youtu.be/mUVLMU2vAMo

Beat the ABC drill today. The second "wall" I've experienced. Even when I couldn't do it, I knew that at some point, I'd just get through it. I did it so fast today, was still in the same grocery store by the end. I warmed up with a couple of time drills, then did the ABC approach. Just like the high-five drill, I just needed to get over myself mentally, and find way in. To be willing to look like a fool. And for the most part, the reactions I got were mostly laughs, funny looks, or just a funny 'Good job", lol. I would just go up, say, "Excuse me, I have to do this real quick," then just start reciting the ABCs I really cannot wait till I have to tell girls they look cute. I've heard of that drill happening later on, and I can't wait to unlock that level so to speak. Next drill shouldn't be too difficult, I feel like I've overcome a new barrier!


I found a way to get into Hinge through my Ipad, so I'll try that. I think I've got a solid 6 photos for my profiles at the moment. Which I'll be posting soon. I'll hit up some girls on Facebook Dating and Tinder today to see what happens.

On to day 18!
 
https://youtu.be/3jyajmqjZxA

It was really nice having an easy drill after the last two couple "hard" ones. But there was a key difference.

I was back to speaking coherent english, no high-fives or ABCs, but because it was back to "normal", it felt like the awkwardness from me or the girls was much less merited. Meaning, when I did the high-fives or ABCs awkwardness was EXPECTED and in most cases funny or weird. But doing this fairly easy drill, meant being in a normal mode of interaction with a bit of more tension and less of a reason to be awkward.

I can't quite articulate it well, but I think I'll understand it more as I go along.

I think putting in my gym pic finally paid off and having a solid 6 pics (the best I've got for now) on my profile really helps.

Did 30+ messages on Facebook Dating yesterday + swiping to the limit on tinder + starting a Hinge account yesterday.
Got a Hinge match, though I haven't swiped yet and 3 facebook matches. I'll wait till after Father's day to contact.

Other than that, went to the gym today, then the liquor store to try out Spiced Rum.

Profile pics below (best I've got for now!):
 
Quick update: Hosted a barbecue for my dad on Father's Day, came back to my own place and have been working with my friend on comics since then. I'll be working all day today as well. Will continue with the drills soon. Hopefully before the weekend rolls around so I can do the bar drill at night!
 
https://youtu.be/dKv2IezOmxc
https://youtu.be/AuhCFpzXj24
https://youtu.be/GNrO1PkymKs

Basic summary: Haven't uploaded for a few days, but I have been making vids. Don't really matter if no one's watching, I think I like seeing how much I've grown since I started.
Wednesday: Went to the men's group and talked about learning social cues. To see people listening intently as I speak still surprises me. When they asked what my goal was in finishing this program, I told them I want to feel like the whole world is my own room. That as relaxed as I am in my room is how I want to feel in the world and with women.

Thursday: was "be a piece of shit" day. I did almost literally nothing of substance. Bought some clothes. and not much else. I may have messaged some girls, but that was about it. Played vid games. Ate, drank alcohol, and not much else!

Friday: Things picked back up. I got a lot of traction in terms of Online dating, got some decent message threads going and tried to set up plans for most of them. I may have some dates for next week if I do it right. My photos on my profile are as good as I can get them for now, and I bought some clothes that fit well and make me feel great. I can't wait to go out even more often. No drills yesterday either, but this stuff seems to occur in waves, and today I feel like I can get started on the new drill or even finish it.
But for now, I'll be watching "The Boys" with my buddy.
 
https://youtu.be/RtvF19ZRhGg

Completed the Day 19 Drill!

This one was not so bad. I took the pressure off by approaching a lot of older women at first, but I sprinkled some very cute girls in the mix. In fact, I asked a couple of girls all 4 questions and they just found it funny because of the Bieber thing and the fact that I'm black, lol. I didn't do the gay voice or the challenge, but I did all 16 girls! I just wanted to get this drill done and move on. If I were more diligent, or really thought this drill mattered in the long run, I go back and do it again, but I really just want to get to the night club drill!

Another thing I learned today is something I've always heard, but it didn't hit me until just now. The drills that are the easiest, (like this one) seem to be the ones that engage a girl's emotions the most. Because it's harder to just ask logical questions with no emotion behind them and "transact" that way, but if you add funny joke like "I'm trying to get the Justin Bieber cut", the girl usually laughs or cracks a smile which opens them up to further the convo. If she doesn't at least smile, it's almost like she's the weirdo, lol. Or I just didn't deliver it right.

On the very last girl I spoke to today, her BOYFRIEND pulled up just as I was finishing the questions. He kissed her on the forehead and stood very close, she was cute too, (but too many piercings for my tastes). Jokes on him though, I was too nervous to steal his girl anyway, lol! I acknowledged him and the girl finished answering my questions. I pulled out and bid them a good day. Maybe I should've acted gay on this one!

Online dating is picking up traction on Hinge and Facebook. I may have some dates for next week. I've also downloaded Coffee meets Bagel and Zoosk, but I haven't signed up just yet.

On to day 20!
 
Quick update: No approaches today, just went to church and hung out with family.

So far, I've gotten two new numbers from Online dating. Facebook: 1, Hinge: 1.
Might have some dates lined up if the calls go well!

I'll be doing the Day 20 drills tomorrow for sure. It's looking mad easy actually!
 
https://youtu.be/E3iVLG_cf3M

Day 20 was indeed, MAD easy. I barely remember what happened.

Now watch me take 3 weeks to get through the next drill. :?

My main takeaway for today was slowing down in both my approach and in leaving. Before I approach, I tend miss some social cues that make it a bit awkward, such as not noticing Airpods in, or girls in a hurry. Then after the approach, I tend to leave the area very quickly. So today I became aware of that, and went a little slower, and spoke a little louder.

Approached some old, some young & cute, as usual. Now I can hit the clubs!
I haven't been to the bars in my area since my first week here. Now I can try it again, with a good excuse to go.

Been chatting up girls in online dating. It's becoming much easier to text back and forth and lead toward a meetup.
I'm becoming less robotic and even beginning to joke around and be more casual in the text.

On to NIGHT 21!
 
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