Upstart's AA Program Log
- Thread starter Upstart
- Start date
Upstart
Member
- Joined
- May 19, 2022
I'd like to get lost in a girl some time.
BUT.
My finances are taking back to back hits. Dental bills, Car repair, Rent. This month alone will clean out my ENTIRE bank account.
I can see why America is designed the way it is. Because it's meant TRY to break your spirit.
If your spirit breaks before dawn comes, you are doomed forever to the land of the dead.
The only thing I can think to do is fight back faster than the hits are coming.
As much as I tried to pull off Chris (GLL)'s suggestion to start with getting girls before focusing on business, it's just not feasible in my case.
I simply ran out of money.
I'm thankful for the two girls in rotation I managed last year. When I lost my V-card, I could finally focus on what mattered. I no longer had that virgin stigma over my head (self-imposed, but still).
But I simply CANNOT drop everything to chase women around right now. Unless I want to move back in with my parents and lose my current business momentum.
On the bright side, I've lost 25+lbs since last year. I was 215, now hovering around 187. I want to see my 6 pack one day!
Girls look at me like they want a piece, but I can't entertain a single one!
My mind can't focus on jumpstarting a new business and dealing with a girl at the same time. Too much of a distraction.
So for now, it looks like I'll have to go the money, then the bitches route. If I can generate enough income outside of my day job to justify quitting, then I'll be able to set my own schedule and date how I want.
Until then, it's grind time.
BUT.
My finances are taking back to back hits. Dental bills, Car repair, Rent. This month alone will clean out my ENTIRE bank account.
I can see why America is designed the way it is. Because it's meant TRY to break your spirit.
If your spirit breaks before dawn comes, you are doomed forever to the land of the dead.
The only thing I can think to do is fight back faster than the hits are coming.
As much as I tried to pull off Chris (GLL)'s suggestion to start with getting girls before focusing on business, it's just not feasible in my case.
I simply ran out of money.
I'm thankful for the two girls in rotation I managed last year. When I lost my V-card, I could finally focus on what mattered. I no longer had that virgin stigma over my head (self-imposed, but still).
But I simply CANNOT drop everything to chase women around right now. Unless I want to move back in with my parents and lose my current business momentum.
On the bright side, I've lost 25+lbs since last year. I was 215, now hovering around 187. I want to see my 6 pack one day!
Girls look at me like they want a piece, but I can't entertain a single one!
My mind can't focus on jumpstarting a new business and dealing with a girl at the same time. Too much of a distraction.
So for now, it looks like I'll have to go the money, then the bitches route. If I can generate enough income outside of my day job to justify quitting, then I'll be able to set my own schedule and date how I want.
Until then, it's grind time.
Hydro
Member
- Joined
- Oct 8, 2021
Damn bro, I'm the same age as you buddy and I've approached women by asking for directions and even complimented their outfits and shirts and stuff. You really are an inspiration to some of us out here, just lurking your thoughts.
I'm in a more privileged position than you are and I can't let this opportunity go knowing that I'm in college and can approach girls. I do feel like a bitch, but I will remember you in the back of my head knowing that I don't have to worry about $ right now, and you better come back and finish your AA program bro. You're almost there and we're going to keep you accountable for that.
I'm in a more privileged position than you are and I can't let this opportunity go knowing that I'm in college and can approach girls. I do feel like a bitch, but I will remember you in the back of my head knowing that I don't have to worry about $ right now, and you better come back and finish your AA program bro. You're almost there and we're going to keep you accountable for that.
Upstart
Member
- Joined
- May 19, 2022
I've been in Purgatory for almost 2 years.
2022 was the high life.
Moved out of my parents place, got laid for the first time. Juggled two girls. Got my motorcycle. Got into boxing. Still had a best friend.
Since then, it's been a trial by fire and now, its looks like I'm just starting to see some light again.
If you're not spiritually inclined, this description of the past year's circumstances may not make much sense to you. I've never forgotten about the forum, never forgotten about beating my AA, I've never forgotten the commitment I made. But there was simply no time to post here.
This last year it seemed as if the UNIVERSE ITSELF had conspired to keep me off the dating market by any means necessary. Mainly by destroying my teeth and my finances.
I was in so much pain, it was pointless to talk to girls. I had to pay so much in medical fees, I had no money left over for anything. I was so desperate to get my business started so I could make an income on the side of my dishwashing job, I had no time left over for family or friends. Glued to my computer screen, working everyday with no escape in sight.
I was in such a contracted state, it felt like I was developing physical symptoms from the lack of social interaction. The lethargy in particular, would visit almost daily when I realized that all I was working towards would get me no closer to any new friends or women in my life. And that it would more than likely be YEARS before I could see the end of the tunnel.
And yet, this was probably the most productive time in my entire life because of my singular focus.
And then one day... life seemed open up again.
My teeth were finally fixed. I lost two pretty important molars in the process, but I can still eat fine.
My motorcycle started working for the first time in MONTHS. Just magically, as if I could have used it this entire time.
And I went on a date with a very cute girl from work.
I'll post about how THAT went soon... -_-
But it seems like the same Universe that boxed me into this state for so long, is now also calling me to come out again. I don't know how I'll manage with my current financial state, but I have no choice in this. I'm compelled to come back to the dating game and sort it out before 30, while I run my comics business and more.
So I'm restarting my exposure therapy. From today on, I'll be going out daily for the next 90 days, until I get 3 more sexual experiences under my belt this summer. I may not finish the AA Program proper, but I'll most likely do Andy's modified version until I see results. As he explained, the goal isn't to just "beat AA" but to actually just talk to women on a regular basis.
I'll try to update as much as I can!
2022 was the high life.
Moved out of my parents place, got laid for the first time. Juggled two girls. Got my motorcycle. Got into boxing. Still had a best friend.
Since then, it's been a trial by fire and now, its looks like I'm just starting to see some light again.
If you're not spiritually inclined, this description of the past year's circumstances may not make much sense to you. I've never forgotten about the forum, never forgotten about beating my AA, I've never forgotten the commitment I made. But there was simply no time to post here.
This last year it seemed as if the UNIVERSE ITSELF had conspired to keep me off the dating market by any means necessary. Mainly by destroying my teeth and my finances.
I was in so much pain, it was pointless to talk to girls. I had to pay so much in medical fees, I had no money left over for anything. I was so desperate to get my business started so I could make an income on the side of my dishwashing job, I had no time left over for family or friends. Glued to my computer screen, working everyday with no escape in sight.
I was in such a contracted state, it felt like I was developing physical symptoms from the lack of social interaction. The lethargy in particular, would visit almost daily when I realized that all I was working towards would get me no closer to any new friends or women in my life. And that it would more than likely be YEARS before I could see the end of the tunnel.
And yet, this was probably the most productive time in my entire life because of my singular focus.
- I couldn't afford a gym, yet I maintained my health by doing 100 pushups, sit-ups, and various amounts of pull-ups and squats almost everyday.
I started a podcast
Got thousands of views on Youtube
Made a viral reel gaining 1 Million + views on Facebook and Instagram
Partnered with legitimate talents in my industry
Marketed and Ran a successful Kickstarter for my comic book where most creators fail.
And then one day... life seemed open up again.
My teeth were finally fixed. I lost two pretty important molars in the process, but I can still eat fine.
My motorcycle started working for the first time in MONTHS. Just magically, as if I could have used it this entire time.
And I went on a date with a very cute girl from work.
I'll post about how THAT went soon... -_-
But it seems like the same Universe that boxed me into this state for so long, is now also calling me to come out again. I don't know how I'll manage with my current financial state, but I have no choice in this. I'm compelled to come back to the dating game and sort it out before 30, while I run my comics business and more.
So I'm restarting my exposure therapy. From today on, I'll be going out daily for the next 90 days, until I get 3 more sexual experiences under my belt this summer. I may not finish the AA Program proper, but I'll most likely do Andy's modified version until I see results. As he explained, the goal isn't to just "beat AA" but to actually just talk to women on a regular basis.
I'll try to update as much as I can!
Upstart
Member
- Joined
- May 19, 2022
Today is day 2 of my 90 day goal to go out every day until I get 3 new lays.
I hate to say it like that, so lets just say 3 new dates (that lead to sex!).
The main goal is to get comfortable approaching and talking to women and getting numbers.
As Andy describes here: https://killyourinnerloser.com/approach-anxiety-program/
I've been walking around both during my day job & outside of it just thinking about approaching, thinking about talking.
This is actually changing my focus. Instead of JUST looking at ass(ets), I'm noticing the different features of the girl and thinking of legitimate conversation starters based on items of clothing, hair color, cool tattoos, etc.
Honestly though, it seems like I've taken a major step back. I feel like I shouldn't be this insular at 28, but I just spent the last year and a half essentially locked out from interacting with most people beyond a few sentences.
Couple that with my own best friend ditching me a year prior, and I barely had any social contact outside of work.
( We finally spoke a few months back and worked it out. More on that in a later post.)
Walking home after work, I looked at a girl and tried to meet her eyes, she looked away asap. I could tell it was a non-starter. I noticed a little dejected feeling inside of me, which I don't feel often.
But to me, it was more important that I noticed the feeling, felt it, and didn't tie any deeper meaning to it.
Next I talked to a guy coming from the gym wearing socks as shoes! He said they're called Yeezy Pods and they have soles underneath. I thought that was interesting, gave him a fist bump and left.
Later on I went downtown to walk around and look for possible interactions.
Basically, I'm just rusty. My brain hasn't done this kind of action for so long that, it has to get back on those old neural pathways before I can see results, which is why going out everyday is mandatory to gain momentum again.
So I walked for about 30 mins meeting eyes with every girl who was faced towards me, thinking about what I'd say if I were to talk to them. I will say that 2-3 years prior (before I lost my virginity), I'd probably have more of a nervous feeling in my stomach, but nowadays, I barely feel it.
Just thinking about what I'd say actually puts my mind in a state where the words are just on the tip of my tongue, so if I actually did start speaking, it would almost be on accident, lol.
In fact, I passed by two girls earlier, and one asked a question to the other, I answered for her saying "Yes." We all laughed, but I kept it moving, and didn't stop to chat. One day soon, it will just occur to me to actually stop, and to believe I'm worthy enough to do so.
I'm going to continue with Andy's version of the program, until I actually start talking to girls normally. If this doesn't work for me over the next 90 days, I may just go back to OG AA Program where I left off.
I'm not a hardcase, just out of practice. But I've also never done a full on cold approach that resulted in a phone number, so if I can do that just once, I know I can do it again and again. I'll give it maybe a week or two before I feel acclimated to this new mode of action, and begin to just have normal conversations with girls. Or at the very least, hold eye contact and smile at them.
I hate to say it like that, so lets just say 3 new dates (that lead to sex!).
The main goal is to get comfortable approaching and talking to women and getting numbers.
As Andy describes here: https://killyourinnerloser.com/approach-anxiety-program/
I've been walking around both during my day job & outside of it just thinking about approaching, thinking about talking.
This is actually changing my focus. Instead of JUST looking at ass(ets), I'm noticing the different features of the girl and thinking of legitimate conversation starters based on items of clothing, hair color, cool tattoos, etc.
Honestly though, it seems like I've taken a major step back. I feel like I shouldn't be this insular at 28, but I just spent the last year and a half essentially locked out from interacting with most people beyond a few sentences.
Couple that with my own best friend ditching me a year prior, and I barely had any social contact outside of work.
( We finally spoke a few months back and worked it out. More on that in a later post.)
Walking home after work, I looked at a girl and tried to meet her eyes, she looked away asap. I could tell it was a non-starter. I noticed a little dejected feeling inside of me, which I don't feel often.
But to me, it was more important that I noticed the feeling, felt it, and didn't tie any deeper meaning to it.
Next I talked to a guy coming from the gym wearing socks as shoes! He said they're called Yeezy Pods and they have soles underneath. I thought that was interesting, gave him a fist bump and left.
Later on I went downtown to walk around and look for possible interactions.
Basically, I'm just rusty. My brain hasn't done this kind of action for so long that, it has to get back on those old neural pathways before I can see results, which is why going out everyday is mandatory to gain momentum again.
So I walked for about 30 mins meeting eyes with every girl who was faced towards me, thinking about what I'd say if I were to talk to them. I will say that 2-3 years prior (before I lost my virginity), I'd probably have more of a nervous feeling in my stomach, but nowadays, I barely feel it.
Just thinking about what I'd say actually puts my mind in a state where the words are just on the tip of my tongue, so if I actually did start speaking, it would almost be on accident, lol.
In fact, I passed by two girls earlier, and one asked a question to the other, I answered for her saying "Yes." We all laughed, but I kept it moving, and didn't stop to chat. One day soon, it will just occur to me to actually stop, and to believe I'm worthy enough to do so.
I'm going to continue with Andy's version of the program, until I actually start talking to girls normally. If this doesn't work for me over the next 90 days, I may just go back to OG AA Program where I left off.
I'm not a hardcase, just out of practice. But I've also never done a full on cold approach that resulted in a phone number, so if I can do that just once, I know I can do it again and again. I'll give it maybe a week or two before I feel acclimated to this new mode of action, and begin to just have normal conversations with girls. Or at the very least, hold eye contact and smile at them.
Upstart
Member
- Joined
- May 19, 2022
5/8/24
Went to the gym today for leg day. It is a legitimate gym where the weights are old, and people train for competitions and even the small weights are heavy af.
It only cost 2 bucks for a day pass so I said "fk it". I was scared it would just be a bunch of big sweaty dudes and no girls, but there were girls there. Phew!
Anyways, I finished my workout and went out for about a 15-20 min walk around the block. I saw some girls, met some eyes and thought about what I say. All in all, it was pretty uneventful. I still have this habit of looking away too quickly, but I'm training my brain out of that.
Let me tell you about my date from last week Thursday. Or at least the build-up to it.
I met this girl at work, who started working there in February. My teeth were still fucked, so I ignored her so I wouldn't have to talk. After my treatments were over, I finally considered asking her out.
This process took about THREE WEEKS because she only worked there on Mondays.
Before I asked her out, I noticed she would look at me unlike the other girls who worked there, I noticed that she would try to meet my eyes often and even sneak another peek after leaving. She'd smile every time. I knew this sign well. Most of the other girls look at me with pleasant indifference. Not for or against me, just acknowledging my existence, lol.
But this girl's look was markedly different.
So I decided to test the waters.
One day I asked her if she goes to school at the my place of work (I work as a college dining hall dishwasher) she confirmed she did and introduced herself as "Jenny" (not her real name). Then asked for my name.
Another sign. I didn't ask for her name or offer my own. BUT because she was interested first, I knew it was good sign.
This was the first time we spoke. The second time, I asked what her plans were for the summer, she told me she'd be working at Taco Bell. I would have asked her out right then, but a co-worker called for my help for something, and when I returned she was gone.
I cursed him in my heart and went back to work, chalking it up to divine intervention.
The fantasies in my head were running wild about this girl like you wouldn't believe. She was (is) really cute.
I thought about the sex positions, showing her off to my friends and family, getting an ego boost, getting my first female sexual contact in over a YEAR. I literally could not stop these fantasies from pouring out and did whatever I could to stop them.
The best thing I could do was to just ask her out already. So on the third week I did.
She presented so many opportunities to me, coming around to my area for completely unnecessary reasons. I felt that after that day, I might never see her again (because school is about to let out as I write this). So one last time, she came around to my area, I knew I had to do it then or not at all. So I said, "Hey, lemme get your number. I'm going out to draw this week, and I'd like you to come with."
I made sure to ask it in a statement format (NOT question format ), just like the youtube videos said, lol. She said "Sure! But I'm not much of an artist, haha" I didn't give a FOCK. I was just happy that I had finally asked her out and it worked. After that the fantasies stopped, and the vague anxiety of possibly missing my chance had dropped off completely.
This was the first time it felt like I was allowed to step out of the purgatory realm.
The date however, was another matter entirely. We'll get into it next time.
Went to the gym today for leg day. It is a legitimate gym where the weights are old, and people train for competitions and even the small weights are heavy af.
It only cost 2 bucks for a day pass so I said "fk it". I was scared it would just be a bunch of big sweaty dudes and no girls, but there were girls there. Phew!
Anyways, I finished my workout and went out for about a 15-20 min walk around the block. I saw some girls, met some eyes and thought about what I say. All in all, it was pretty uneventful. I still have this habit of looking away too quickly, but I'm training my brain out of that.
Let me tell you about my date from last week Thursday. Or at least the build-up to it.
I met this girl at work, who started working there in February. My teeth were still fucked, so I ignored her so I wouldn't have to talk. After my treatments were over, I finally considered asking her out.
This process took about THREE WEEKS because she only worked there on Mondays.
Before I asked her out, I noticed she would look at me unlike the other girls who worked there, I noticed that she would try to meet my eyes often and even sneak another peek after leaving. She'd smile every time. I knew this sign well. Most of the other girls look at me with pleasant indifference. Not for or against me, just acknowledging my existence, lol.
But this girl's look was markedly different.
So I decided to test the waters.
One day I asked her if she goes to school at the my place of work (I work as a college dining hall dishwasher) she confirmed she did and introduced herself as "Jenny" (not her real name). Then asked for my name.
Another sign. I didn't ask for her name or offer my own. BUT because she was interested first, I knew it was good sign.
This was the first time we spoke. The second time, I asked what her plans were for the summer, she told me she'd be working at Taco Bell. I would have asked her out right then, but a co-worker called for my help for something, and when I returned she was gone.
I cursed him in my heart and went back to work, chalking it up to divine intervention.
The fantasies in my head were running wild about this girl like you wouldn't believe. She was (is) really cute.
I thought about the sex positions, showing her off to my friends and family, getting an ego boost, getting my first female sexual contact in over a YEAR. I literally could not stop these fantasies from pouring out and did whatever I could to stop them.
The best thing I could do was to just ask her out already. So on the third week I did.
She presented so many opportunities to me, coming around to my area for completely unnecessary reasons. I felt that after that day, I might never see her again (because school is about to let out as I write this). So one last time, she came around to my area, I knew I had to do it then or not at all. So I said, "Hey, lemme get your number. I'm going out to draw this week, and I'd like you to come with."
I made sure to ask it in a statement format (NOT question format ), just like the youtube videos said, lol. She said "Sure! But I'm not much of an artist, haha" I didn't give a FOCK. I was just happy that I had finally asked her out and it worked. After that the fantasies stopped, and the vague anxiety of possibly missing my chance had dropped off completely.
This was the first time it felt like I was allowed to step out of the purgatory realm.
The date however, was another matter entirely. We'll get into it next time.
Upstart
Member
- Joined
- May 19, 2022
Day 4 of going out Daily:
5/10/24
To add to my goal of 3 lays, I'd also like to make a new friend, find a hobby, & gather a new social circle. One that shares the same interests as me, has ambition, or at least has some business know-how.
If I'm being really honest, I'd like a brotherhood like Andrew Tate has, but I don't know if I can find anyone near me in the arts with a mindset like mine. I don't know if I even NEED a brotherhood per se.
I'm also attempting to get bigger this summer. I slimmed down a lot thanks to my teeth problems, but I want to get bigger forearms, bigger chest, and to define my 6 pack more. Sound vain to read that back. -_- But as a late bloomer, I'm making up for lost time here!
I prayed to God for a sign that this is the time to change.
Last night, he sent a storm localized to my town. A hailstorm in the middle of Texas at the beginning of summer is NOT normal. But it's just what I needed to see. What does it mean? Nothing in particular, but I have seen several signs in my life that signal great change, and it's always something happening that doesn't usually occur.
It's usually pretty subtle, but this was like a bomb going off. Branches could have dropped directly on my car, my motorcycle could have tipped over, power could have been out for weeks, it was that bad. Yet everything came out completely unscathed. Not even so much as a pock mark. Yet my friend's rental car was littered with em (sorry bro!).
So if that's not a sign, I don't know what is.
These next couple years are going to be like a storm as I take this last great opportunity to shed off my social fears and win the dating life I'd always dreamed of before 30 yrs of age.
-------------------
Today I went out to the gym. Made eye contact with a couple girls, didn't say anything. I'm trying to read body language to see who's open.
I'm starting to realize that I didn't grow up with the understanding that rejection is a regular normal part of life, which is where the fear of embarrassment comes from. That's all that scares me. Being permanently ashamed.
Anyways, after the gym, I went home to eat lunch and a second opportunity arose to go out again. My roommate's friends came over to congratulate him for graduating.
They invited me to hang out, but I initially declined as my regular default for the past 2 years. They left, but a few mins later, when I saw they were on the path I usually walk, I ran to catch up with them and go check out the art exhibit they were looking at.
There were 3 other students: 2 girls, (one especially cute), one guy.
I was nervous at first, but then I addressed the group about the storm from the night before as a convo starter. Then spoke to them each individually about what they were working on. It was a good convo with each, and I spoke to the cute one resisting the urge to look down her loose shirt. I was also looking for any indicators of deeper interest, but there were none, so I politely ended to convo to rejoin my group.
We went to dinner and had a great conversation. None of this would have happened if I didn't run back to catch up with them.
5/10/24
To add to my goal of 3 lays, I'd also like to make a new friend, find a hobby, & gather a new social circle. One that shares the same interests as me, has ambition, or at least has some business know-how.
If I'm being really honest, I'd like a brotherhood like Andrew Tate has, but I don't know if I can find anyone near me in the arts with a mindset like mine. I don't know if I even NEED a brotherhood per se.
I'm also attempting to get bigger this summer. I slimmed down a lot thanks to my teeth problems, but I want to get bigger forearms, bigger chest, and to define my 6 pack more. Sound vain to read that back. -_- But as a late bloomer, I'm making up for lost time here!
I prayed to God for a sign that this is the time to change.
Last night, he sent a storm localized to my town. A hailstorm in the middle of Texas at the beginning of summer is NOT normal. But it's just what I needed to see. What does it mean? Nothing in particular, but I have seen several signs in my life that signal great change, and it's always something happening that doesn't usually occur.
It's usually pretty subtle, but this was like a bomb going off. Branches could have dropped directly on my car, my motorcycle could have tipped over, power could have been out for weeks, it was that bad. Yet everything came out completely unscathed. Not even so much as a pock mark. Yet my friend's rental car was littered with em (sorry bro!).
So if that's not a sign, I don't know what is.
These next couple years are going to be like a storm as I take this last great opportunity to shed off my social fears and win the dating life I'd always dreamed of before 30 yrs of age.
-------------------
Today I went out to the gym. Made eye contact with a couple girls, didn't say anything. I'm trying to read body language to see who's open.
I'm starting to realize that I didn't grow up with the understanding that rejection is a regular normal part of life, which is where the fear of embarrassment comes from. That's all that scares me. Being permanently ashamed.
Anyways, after the gym, I went home to eat lunch and a second opportunity arose to go out again. My roommate's friends came over to congratulate him for graduating.
They invited me to hang out, but I initially declined as my regular default for the past 2 years. They left, but a few mins later, when I saw they were on the path I usually walk, I ran to catch up with them and go check out the art exhibit they were looking at.
There were 3 other students: 2 girls, (one especially cute), one guy.
I was nervous at first, but then I addressed the group about the storm from the night before as a convo starter. Then spoke to them each individually about what they were working on. It was a good convo with each, and I spoke to the cute one resisting the urge to look down her loose shirt. I was also looking for any indicators of deeper interest, but there were none, so I politely ended to convo to rejoin my group.
We went to dinner and had a great conversation. None of this would have happened if I didn't run back to catch up with them.
Upstart
Member
- Joined
- May 19, 2022
Day 5 of going out daily
5/11/24
Yesterday was insane.
All I had to do was show up and make an effort, and my prayer was answered. I made a friend.
I went out 3 times yesterday.
Once, to skate around the block. (didn't count)
Next, to the outlet mall for a walk.
Then once more at night in the downtown area in my city.
The outlet mall walk was uneventful. I was looking around to see if I could interact with anyone, but most people were with family, especially women. I know I looked decent, because I got a compliment from a guy on my muscles.
DAMMIT.
They say ladies are most attracted to a lean and muscular physique, but when you get big enough, guys start to complement you too. I'm not gonna read into it too deep tho, lol.
Most of this strength came from doing push ups at home, while I was a hermit. 100 push-ups and sit-ups most days. Then towards the end, 200 of each, every other day.
Anyways, at night, I parked in my usual spot and started my walk, but then this guy came up beside me and I thought he looked open to talk to. So I asked him if he knew any good spots and what he was up to. That's how it started. He said, "Come on, I'll show you what I do", and off we went.
Everywhere was crowded because it was post-graduation for students. We had to cut the line to get into the first venue. We sort of slipped into a blind spot.
The first place immediately overwhelmed the senses, but I was unexpectedly fine with it.
In the past, all these strobe lights and dancing people would have shook me, but as I've gotten older and had some experience, this wasn't so bad.
Basically we went around to all the popular venues in town.
Having a buddy by your side is a different experience altogether. Usually, I'd just walk around aimlessly until I just sort go home in 40 mins, but with a friend, I stayed out from 12:00am to 2am+.
This guy is perfect in terms of what I'm looking for too. He's red pill aware, experienced, knows the area well, around my age, and is tight with a random guys in town. Our goals align too in terms of getting women, and he lives right next to all the clubs, so he can pull with a straight walk back to his house. I have to drive a 4 minutes away, but it's still good.
I asked him a bunch of questions, like what's the point of clubbing in general? How do you know a place is popping off? What's restaurants are open after 2am? Etc.
He had as much knowledge about choosing signals as I did, but definitely way more experience on the scene. I could tell which girls were into us and which were not really. And a lot of his experiences confirmed to me that there is a demographic of women who'd be into you and many who would not. You can't just pick up any woman you see or want.
Eye contact is a super important IOI. Anything less, and you're fighting an uphill battle. Based on the Good Looking Loser posts, I've understood for a while that game tactics and such will only get you so far. If the girl doesn't already like you or express interest, move ON.
A girl who does like you will make it easy. You'll barely have to say anything. That's how I pulled this indian chick from a party once. She was simply attracted to me so I didn't have to do much.
In one club last night, I remember getting a hard IOI from one girl who just started dancing with me randomly, looking me dead in the eyes and smiling. But she was being pulled through the crowd by her friend, so it wasn't much contact.
Had I been more savvy, I'd have followed up immediately.
I was also learning to lead from this new guy. He'd just point to somewhere, communicate a little, and we'd go. I understood that this is what I'd do with a girl out here.
I'm excited to finally get started again with all this. All it took was a little bit of courage to talk to ONE guy. I want to make another friend and develop a group. I want to start making my comics full time and be able to get women, hang out with friends, and create work I'm proud of.
I know it's possible. It will just be a little more work!
5/11/24
Yesterday was insane.
All I had to do was show up and make an effort, and my prayer was answered. I made a friend.
I went out 3 times yesterday.
Once, to skate around the block. (didn't count)
Next, to the outlet mall for a walk.
Then once more at night in the downtown area in my city.
The outlet mall walk was uneventful. I was looking around to see if I could interact with anyone, but most people were with family, especially women. I know I looked decent, because I got a compliment from a guy on my muscles.
DAMMIT.
They say ladies are most attracted to a lean and muscular physique, but when you get big enough, guys start to complement you too. I'm not gonna read into it too deep tho, lol.
Most of this strength came from doing push ups at home, while I was a hermit. 100 push-ups and sit-ups most days. Then towards the end, 200 of each, every other day.
Anyways, at night, I parked in my usual spot and started my walk, but then this guy came up beside me and I thought he looked open to talk to. So I asked him if he knew any good spots and what he was up to. That's how it started. He said, "Come on, I'll show you what I do", and off we went.
Everywhere was crowded because it was post-graduation for students. We had to cut the line to get into the first venue. We sort of slipped into a blind spot.
The first place immediately overwhelmed the senses, but I was unexpectedly fine with it.
In the past, all these strobe lights and dancing people would have shook me, but as I've gotten older and had some experience, this wasn't so bad.
Basically we went around to all the popular venues in town.
Having a buddy by your side is a different experience altogether. Usually, I'd just walk around aimlessly until I just sort go home in 40 mins, but with a friend, I stayed out from 12:00am to 2am+.
This guy is perfect in terms of what I'm looking for too. He's red pill aware, experienced, knows the area well, around my age, and is tight with a random guys in town. Our goals align too in terms of getting women, and he lives right next to all the clubs, so he can pull with a straight walk back to his house. I have to drive a 4 minutes away, but it's still good.
I asked him a bunch of questions, like what's the point of clubbing in general? How do you know a place is popping off? What's restaurants are open after 2am? Etc.
He had as much knowledge about choosing signals as I did, but definitely way more experience on the scene. I could tell which girls were into us and which were not really. And a lot of his experiences confirmed to me that there is a demographic of women who'd be into you and many who would not. You can't just pick up any woman you see or want.
Eye contact is a super important IOI. Anything less, and you're fighting an uphill battle. Based on the Good Looking Loser posts, I've understood for a while that game tactics and such will only get you so far. If the girl doesn't already like you or express interest, move ON.
A girl who does like you will make it easy. You'll barely have to say anything. That's how I pulled this indian chick from a party once. She was simply attracted to me so I didn't have to do much.
In one club last night, I remember getting a hard IOI from one girl who just started dancing with me randomly, looking me dead in the eyes and smiling. But she was being pulled through the crowd by her friend, so it wasn't much contact.
Had I been more savvy, I'd have followed up immediately.
I was also learning to lead from this new guy. He'd just point to somewhere, communicate a little, and we'd go. I understood that this is what I'd do with a girl out here.
I'm excited to finally get started again with all this. All it took was a little bit of courage to talk to ONE guy. I want to make another friend and develop a group. I want to start making my comics full time and be able to get women, hang out with friends, and create work I'm proud of.
I know it's possible. It will just be a little more work!
Upstart
Member
- Joined
- May 19, 2022
Day 7 (of 90) of going out every single day:
5/13/24
The last two days of going out were pretty uneventful.
Luckily, my day job is on furlough for the summer, so I have at least the next week or two to think of what to do next.
In the meantime, let me tell you about the date with the girl from my job.
It went okay.
But it didn't go anywhere afterwards.
2 main reasons:
From how she looked at work, I could have sworn she looked 22-23 is AT LEAST, but no. She also thought I looked younger than I do, which I get A LOT.
Like a disturbing amount tbh. -_-
18 years olds also have nothing going on upstairs (mentally). The main thing is, she carries herself with some level of grace and that's all she needs at this point. Other than that, we'd have no mindset commonalities other than our shared basis in religion.
Also, college girls dress noticebly sloppy on first dates. They just sort of grab whatever is lying around and throw it on. Whereas, I'll put in a genuine effort to look good, so it always looks like a mismatch. But it's only happened twice, so whatdoIknow? I even ironed my shirt!
Any move I tried to do to advance things along sexually (ie. physical touch) was met with polite neutrality. I didn't do anything crazy, just a few touch tests to see if we had some chemistry. None of it was reciprocated.
I took her to coffee and I brought my sketchbook. I just asked her to tell me what to draw and that was how we spent the date, talking and drawing. I took her for a little walk around the block and back to my car. On the drive back I told her she was sexy. She giggled, and I jokingly said "Don't tell nobody I said that!"
When I dropped her off back at her place I told her "Hey, I'm a gentleman. I won't push this any further unless you want to. It might be best if you find someone closer to your own age." She agreed and we parted ways amicably.
The age thing really lit a fire under me to get this stuff handled before I turn into 30 yr old hitting on college girls. Not that there's anything wrong with it, but time is passing by too quickly and age definitely plays a factor in girls considering your for partnership.
My only goal on the date was to make her feel safe and desired.
But I also brought condoms, cuz I'm not about to get caught lacking again!
I was so pent up afterwards, I hopped on my motorcycle and rode until I ran out of gas.
Sent her one last text saying "You carry yourself well for your age. See ya Monday"
Then we met a couple times at work, just keeping it friendly.
The spark was gone, the fantasies were gone, and only reality was left in its wake.
5/13/24
The last two days of going out were pretty uneventful.
- Mother's day, I went to the store to pick up some balloons
- Today I went to the gym and took a walk around the grocery store for sustenance (and to see if anyone caught my eye)
Luckily, my day job is on furlough for the summer, so I have at least the next week or two to think of what to do next.
In the meantime, let me tell you about the date with the girl from my job.
It went okay.
But it didn't go anywhere afterwards.
2 main reasons:
- She's 18, I'm 28.
- She's christian (maybe hardcore)
From how she looked at work, I could have sworn she looked 22-23 is AT LEAST, but no. She also thought I looked younger than I do, which I get A LOT.
Like a disturbing amount tbh. -_-
18 years olds also have nothing going on upstairs (mentally). The main thing is, she carries herself with some level of grace and that's all she needs at this point. Other than that, we'd have no mindset commonalities other than our shared basis in religion.
Also, college girls dress noticebly sloppy on first dates. They just sort of grab whatever is lying around and throw it on. Whereas, I'll put in a genuine effort to look good, so it always looks like a mismatch. But it's only happened twice, so whatdoIknow? I even ironed my shirt!
Any move I tried to do to advance things along sexually (ie. physical touch) was met with polite neutrality. I didn't do anything crazy, just a few touch tests to see if we had some chemistry. None of it was reciprocated.
I took her to coffee and I brought my sketchbook. I just asked her to tell me what to draw and that was how we spent the date, talking and drawing. I took her for a little walk around the block and back to my car. On the drive back I told her she was sexy. She giggled, and I jokingly said "Don't tell nobody I said that!"
When I dropped her off back at her place I told her "Hey, I'm a gentleman. I won't push this any further unless you want to. It might be best if you find someone closer to your own age." She agreed and we parted ways amicably.
The age thing really lit a fire under me to get this stuff handled before I turn into 30 yr old hitting on college girls. Not that there's anything wrong with it, but time is passing by too quickly and age definitely plays a factor in girls considering your for partnership.
My only goal on the date was to make her feel safe and desired.
But I also brought condoms, cuz I'm not about to get caught lacking again!
I was so pent up afterwards, I hopped on my motorcycle and rode until I ran out of gas.
Sent her one last text saying "You carry yourself well for your age. See ya Monday"
Then we met a couple times at work, just keeping it friendly.
The spark was gone, the fantasies were gone, and only reality was left in its wake.
Upstart
Member
- Joined
- May 19, 2022
Day 10 of going out every day for 90 days.
5/16/24
The last three days have been very interesting.
I get pretty reluctant to go out sometimes, but I still do. It's not as much of a gargantuan struggle like it was back in 2022 with the AA Program. Definitely not as much pressure.
5/14
I skated to the river, where most people hang out on sunny days. I only went there ONCE in summer 2022, because I didn't have any friends to bring along and I was ashamed of my body, tbh.
But today, I wanted to see how long it would take me to skate from my house to the park. 14 mins. Mostly a smooth downhill ride.
It took me 19 mins to get back. From this one ride, I realized I could skate to most places in the city.
I went there walked around. Spoke to no one, came home. I hope to go there more this summer.
I really want to remove my social fears so I can live the life I want. It really destroys a lot of great opportunities.
5/15
I went to the gym and worked out. Hardly any girls there, but it was a productive work out. There was this guy whisper-shouting to himself "They don't know me son!" A David Goggins quote. I thought it was funny and I'd like to tell him I know who he's talking about.
I actually saw another gym guy talk to him about it which is what gave me the bravery to reach out a little while afterwards and bond over the Goggins quote. He plays college football and was training.
I took a walk after the gym, and saw this cute girl walking past, I instantly knew what to say to her. I just said "You headed to the gym?" She smiled and said, "No, I'm actually going to work." I was walking by so fast, I just said "Okay, dope!"
Andy's thinking idea is starting to take effect. I observed her clothes and made an assumption. It just sort of spilled out. I then went into a cigar lounge for the first time. I wanted to check it out for photo opportunities.
This guy on youtube took an excellent photo in one, so i thought I'd do the same one day.
Then I spoke to another girl, but I was just asking for information about the bar she worked at. Girl or guy wouldn't have made much difference.
Lastly, I spoke to another girl about her dog she was walking. I assumed it was a wiener dog and she confirmed. I said she looked extra fluffy. And she said most people think she's mixed. I didn't know what else to say, so I said "Dope, have a good one."
The main things I did right:
• I approached with a confident tone of voice.
• Made eye contact and smiled.
That's it.
Something I realized that day, is that the thing I've always been most of afraid of is the mental attack of SHAME, the memories of embarrassing moments coming back to haunt me.
Simultaneously I also realized that I don't remember a single person I came across during the entire Approach Anxiety program 2 years ago. Not one. And they probably don't remember me at all.
I think the combination of these two realizations has unlocked something in me.
I'm also starting to realize that my muscles don't mean as much as I thought. They're good enough to get me in the door, but I have to be able to OPEN it in the first place.
Later that night, my new buddy invited me over for some dinner with another friend of his. We met, ate, and went out to the bars on the Square to see what was up.
It was dead. But I got some more experience being out!
I don't want to make this one too long, so I'll post more in the next bit.
5/16/24
The last three days have been very interesting.
I get pretty reluctant to go out sometimes, but I still do. It's not as much of a gargantuan struggle like it was back in 2022 with the AA Program. Definitely not as much pressure.
5/14
I skated to the river, where most people hang out on sunny days. I only went there ONCE in summer 2022, because I didn't have any friends to bring along and I was ashamed of my body, tbh.
But today, I wanted to see how long it would take me to skate from my house to the park. 14 mins. Mostly a smooth downhill ride.
It took me 19 mins to get back. From this one ride, I realized I could skate to most places in the city.
I went there walked around. Spoke to no one, came home. I hope to go there more this summer.
I really want to remove my social fears so I can live the life I want. It really destroys a lot of great opportunities.
5/15
I went to the gym and worked out. Hardly any girls there, but it was a productive work out. There was this guy whisper-shouting to himself "They don't know me son!" A David Goggins quote. I thought it was funny and I'd like to tell him I know who he's talking about.
I actually saw another gym guy talk to him about it which is what gave me the bravery to reach out a little while afterwards and bond over the Goggins quote. He plays college football and was training.
I took a walk after the gym, and saw this cute girl walking past, I instantly knew what to say to her. I just said "You headed to the gym?" She smiled and said, "No, I'm actually going to work." I was walking by so fast, I just said "Okay, dope!"
Andy's thinking idea is starting to take effect. I observed her clothes and made an assumption. It just sort of spilled out. I then went into a cigar lounge for the first time. I wanted to check it out for photo opportunities.
This guy on youtube took an excellent photo in one, so i thought I'd do the same one day.
Then I spoke to another girl, but I was just asking for information about the bar she worked at. Girl or guy wouldn't have made much difference.
Lastly, I spoke to another girl about her dog she was walking. I assumed it was a wiener dog and she confirmed. I said she looked extra fluffy. And she said most people think she's mixed. I didn't know what else to say, so I said "Dope, have a good one."
The main things I did right:
• I approached with a confident tone of voice.
• Made eye contact and smiled.
That's it.
Something I realized that day, is that the thing I've always been most of afraid of is the mental attack of SHAME, the memories of embarrassing moments coming back to haunt me.
Simultaneously I also realized that I don't remember a single person I came across during the entire Approach Anxiety program 2 years ago. Not one. And they probably don't remember me at all.
I think the combination of these two realizations has unlocked something in me.
I'm also starting to realize that my muscles don't mean as much as I thought. They're good enough to get me in the door, but I have to be able to OPEN it in the first place.
Later that night, my new buddy invited me over for some dinner with another friend of his. We met, ate, and went out to the bars on the Square to see what was up.
It was dead. But I got some more experience being out!
I don't want to make this one too long, so I'll post more in the next bit.
Upstart
Member
- Joined
- May 19, 2022
I've got a coaching call with Andy call later today!
I've never done 1-1 coaching with anyone, but he seems great to start with. I feel like I can only do so much on my own, and a little nudge in the right direction is needed.
At the moment, I'm caught in an internal struggle between making money, putting everything into my comics business, and pursuing the sex life I know is possible for myself.
I feel like I'm at the exact point in life where I can't afford to lose anymore time in either regard.
If I let my comics drop, I let go of all the progress I made to get to this point.
If I let this opportunity to date escape me again, something terrible might happen to make that impossible for an even longer period of time.
I can afford to go on a bit of maintenance mode with my comics biz, but if I don't immerse myself in dating while this window of opportunity is open, it might be another 2-3 years before I get another chance.
I don't even really have the funds to be doing all this, but because my teeth aren't an issue anymore I can work without pain.
What will be the result of choosing both?
--------------
So far, it's been 12 days of going out.
My mind usually need 14 days of consistent action to understand "Yes, we are doing this now."
Once I get past the 2 week mark, I get used to what I'm doing and continue with less resistance.
Yesterday my new friend came over to drop off my cap because I forgot it at his place the night before.
I introduced him to my roommate (my former best friend) and they realized they had met before 2 yrs ago.
I knew they had a similar vibe to them, but no problem. I'm just glad to be making new friends outside of my old circle, I didn't know I had it in me.
Later in the day, I went to the library to return a book and work on my business. I caught a couple of eyes and a cute goth chick. I spoke to no one until closing time. I then went to the grocery store to add in some more social time. Saw two really cute girls. Said nothing, but I thought about it.
I have to remember to take it easy on myself and celebrate the small wins of making eye contact, smiling or thinking about what I'd say. Maybe talking to Andy will help propel me forward somewhat.
I'm going to focus heavy on getting some new photos with my phone camera and bluetooth shutter today!
I've never done 1-1 coaching with anyone, but he seems great to start with. I feel like I can only do so much on my own, and a little nudge in the right direction is needed.
At the moment, I'm caught in an internal struggle between making money, putting everything into my comics business, and pursuing the sex life I know is possible for myself.
I feel like I'm at the exact point in life where I can't afford to lose anymore time in either regard.
If I let my comics drop, I let go of all the progress I made to get to this point.
If I let this opportunity to date escape me again, something terrible might happen to make that impossible for an even longer period of time.
I can afford to go on a bit of maintenance mode with my comics biz, but if I don't immerse myself in dating while this window of opportunity is open, it might be another 2-3 years before I get another chance.
I don't even really have the funds to be doing all this, but because my teeth aren't an issue anymore I can work without pain.
What will be the result of choosing both?
--------------
So far, it's been 12 days of going out.
My mind usually need 14 days of consistent action to understand "Yes, we are doing this now."
Once I get past the 2 week mark, I get used to what I'm doing and continue with less resistance.
Yesterday my new friend came over to drop off my cap because I forgot it at his place the night before.
I introduced him to my roommate (my former best friend) and they realized they had met before 2 yrs ago.
I knew they had a similar vibe to them, but no problem. I'm just glad to be making new friends outside of my old circle, I didn't know I had it in me.
Later in the day, I went to the library to return a book and work on my business. I caught a couple of eyes and a cute goth chick. I spoke to no one until closing time. I then went to the grocery store to add in some more social time. Saw two really cute girls. Said nothing, but I thought about it.
I have to remember to take it easy on myself and celebrate the small wins of making eye contact, smiling or thinking about what I'd say. Maybe talking to Andy will help propel me forward somewhat.
I'm going to focus heavy on getting some new photos with my phone camera and bluetooth shutter today!
Upstart
Member
- Joined
- May 19, 2022
CORRECTION May 17th only marks the 11th day of going out!
Two things I forgot to mention in the video above. The off-duty bartender I talked to, I was kind of dapping up when switching hand positions while we talked. I could feel a connection, and her grip was surprisingly firm lol. I also touched her on the shoulder before we parted ways... Just to let her know wassup.
I get this unexplainable urge to dap up or talk to any girl or guy I see when I'm out as if they're all my friends. I actually met eyes with one girl and went for a high five. She gave me a weak one. I said "All-right" and walked off. I assume her man was nearby or she was just not interested. But I'm glad I went for it anyway.
I met another dude in one of the last places I went to. I saw him trying to talk to some girls. They brushed him off, but he took no damage really. We had a brief convo about the venue and he left.
I realized that when I'm out, the more comfortable I get, the more I'll be looking for people who match my vibe and who gel with me instead of me trying to contort myself to the environment.
I ended up staying out till 2am, when all the bars close (the longest I've ever stayed out alone. I wanted to see what the end of the night looked like and where people would gather when it was over.
Many ended up at a hookah lounge which is mostly empty during early parts of the night, but got a huge surge because they stay open till 4am.
I may end up going out again tonight!
-------------------------
My main goal is to start making enough money from my business so I can move to Austin, and have an even more exciting dating life out there. It's expensive to live there, but I think it will be worth it, just for the life experience. Maybe when I master my current location and move out when I'm 30, who knows!
Upstart
Member
- Joined
- May 19, 2022
We gettin' all the hoes with this one, lets gooooo!!!!
And we better, because these pics are leagues better than my old profile's.
After several months of swiping and conversations, I was able to get 3 dates from the apps.
3 dates with different girls and 1 lay with a single mom. We were dating and fucking for a couple months. I was juggling her with a second girl I met at work, while also trying to coax a third girl into the rotation from facebook. She was a flake.
Then everything dried up at the end of the year when I ran out of money!
Here is the old profile.
Actually the last 3 were recently updated, but even those, I removed.
The old pics are way back in this thread, lol.
Hopefully my new profile pics bear some fruit, I followed several guides about the order and placement of my photos. And especially the "Get Laid in 6 weeks Guide" by Cam and Andy for which photos to take.
I borrowed my roomate's dog for that photo lol!
I know Andy stresses the importance of a DSLR camera, but I don't have that kinda $$$ on me, so used my Galaxy S8 camera on max settings, a tripod, and a bluetooth shutter clicker. Which allows you to press a button at a distance to take pics with your phone.
-------------------------------------------
1-1 CONSULTATION CALL WITH ANDY
I had a great conversation with Andy on Saturday. I mainly needed confirmation that I'm headed in the right direction and not a complete fuck-up.
He was soooo present as soon as we got on call. Completely selfless. He is someone you can definitely trust, because he's been through and overcome as much as any of us here.
-------------------------------------------
Anyway, May 19th, Day 13 (of 90 days of going out)
My new friend called me over to help move a couple things into his house. I wasn't super busy, so I went down there to lend a hand. I used to be a professional mover so this was light work.
Later, I finished editing my dating photos and went out to the book store, then went to the grocery store to grab a couple things.
I saw some cute girls thought about what I'd say and went about my business.
I think I'll now start to maintain eye contact and smile more.
I then came back home and worked on my dating profiles til 2am!!
--------------------------------------------
May 18th, Day 14 Saturday.
I'm getting better at simply speaking to neighbors. I saw a female neighbor working in her yard. Cute, maybe slightly older. She was cutting limbs from her tree. We had a very natural convo about it and the hailstorm from last week. Parted ways nicely.
I spent most of the day preparing for and executing my photoshoot. I researched posing and lighting, ironed my clothes, then took the photos in various *EMPTY* locations around a college campus. I didn't want people staring!
I returned home to pick the right photos out of hundreds. Later at night I went out to the square for a brief walk at 12am! I went into one night club to check the vibe. Not as much fun without a friend. But I was just going to get my reps in for going outside. I was surprised I even wanted to go out that night (esp. after jerkin it!)
I stayed out for about 30 mins then went back home.
-------------------------------------------
Today, May 20th day 15,
I was weirdly very tired today. Maybe because I spent the last 3 days staying up till 2am. No matter how much I wanted to will myself awake I ended up taking a nap for about 2 hrs then going to the gym at 6pm.
It was crowded, but I still got my work in. Couple girls there, nothing serious.
I realize that I actually have to practice smiling. I started in the mirror today. Robotically moving my lips into position over and over to make it muscle memory. I know this is the next step in approaching girls, because a smile is more welcoming.
My natural inclination is not to smile, so this will take some practice.
It reminds me of a very important tip I learned from a great site called IntrovertedAlpha by Sarah. I'm paraphrasing (and adding stuff for my own future reference) below:
Signing up for Uber Eats tonight!
---------------------
And we better, because these pics are leagues better than my old profile's.
After several months of swiping and conversations, I was able to get 3 dates from the apps.
- 2 from Hinge
- 1 from BLK
3 dates with different girls and 1 lay with a single mom. We were dating and fucking for a couple months. I was juggling her with a second girl I met at work, while also trying to coax a third girl into the rotation from facebook. She was a flake.
Then everything dried up at the end of the year when I ran out of money!
Here is the old profile.
Actually the last 3 were recently updated, but even those, I removed.
The old pics are way back in this thread, lol.
Hopefully my new profile pics bear some fruit, I followed several guides about the order and placement of my photos. And especially the "Get Laid in 6 weeks Guide" by Cam and Andy for which photos to take.
I borrowed my roomate's dog for that photo lol!
I know Andy stresses the importance of a DSLR camera, but I don't have that kinda $$$ on me, so used my Galaxy S8 camera on max settings, a tripod, and a bluetooth shutter clicker. Which allows you to press a button at a distance to take pics with your phone.
-------------------------------------------
1-1 CONSULTATION CALL WITH ANDY
I had a great conversation with Andy on Saturday. I mainly needed confirmation that I'm headed in the right direction and not a complete fuck-up.
He was soooo present as soon as we got on call. Completely selfless. He is someone you can definitely trust, because he's been through and overcome as much as any of us here.
-------------------------------------------
Anyway, May 19th, Day 13 (of 90 days of going out)
My new friend called me over to help move a couple things into his house. I wasn't super busy, so I went down there to lend a hand. I used to be a professional mover so this was light work.
Later, I finished editing my dating photos and went out to the book store, then went to the grocery store to grab a couple things.
I saw some cute girls thought about what I'd say and went about my business.
I think I'll now start to maintain eye contact and smile more.
I then came back home and worked on my dating profiles til 2am!!
--------------------------------------------
May 18th, Day 14 Saturday.
I'm getting better at simply speaking to neighbors. I saw a female neighbor working in her yard. Cute, maybe slightly older. She was cutting limbs from her tree. We had a very natural convo about it and the hailstorm from last week. Parted ways nicely.
I spent most of the day preparing for and executing my photoshoot. I researched posing and lighting, ironed my clothes, then took the photos in various *EMPTY* locations around a college campus. I didn't want people staring!
I returned home to pick the right photos out of hundreds. Later at night I went out to the square for a brief walk at 12am! I went into one night club to check the vibe. Not as much fun without a friend. But I was just going to get my reps in for going outside. I was surprised I even wanted to go out that night (esp. after jerkin it!)
I stayed out for about 30 mins then went back home.
-------------------------------------------
Today, May 20th day 15,
I was weirdly very tired today. Maybe because I spent the last 3 days staying up till 2am. No matter how much I wanted to will myself awake I ended up taking a nap for about 2 hrs then going to the gym at 6pm.
It was crowded, but I still got my work in. Couple girls there, nothing serious.
I realize that I actually have to practice smiling. I started in the mirror today. Robotically moving my lips into position over and over to make it muscle memory. I know this is the next step in approaching girls, because a smile is more welcoming.
My natural inclination is not to smile, so this will take some practice.
It reminds me of a very important tip I learned from a great site called IntrovertedAlpha by Sarah. I'm paraphrasing (and adding stuff for my own future reference) below:
- When you see a girl you want to talk to make your way over to her, try to catch her eyes and see if she's open to talk.
- Smile, then make a comment on something you were thinking about. (give context to the reason you're speaking with her as a stranger.)
- Could be a compliment to her. Could be a comment about the environment, anything to break the ice and start the convo. "I saw you/noticed you from over there, and I thought I'd come say hello"
- Then you can tell her she's cute or you like her look, or make your interest known in some way.
Signing up for Uber Eats tonight!
---------------------
- Joined
- Nov 14, 2021
- Goal
- Master daygame
- Age
- 34
Upstart
Member
- Joined
- May 19, 2022
5/22/24
@pancakemouse Hey thanks man! I've replaced photo #4 with this pic I took today.
My question is, why remove it?
I heard that photo #1 is supposed to be the primary pic which shows your face clearly (my white shirt pic), then photo #2 is supposed to be the full body shot.
I don't really have any other high quality group shots which match the criteria in the article, but removing them makes it look like I don't have any friends, lol. Do they do more harm than good?
Let me know! Thanks, again!
------------------------------------------------
I also had a very vivid dream Saturday night going into Sunday morning.
There was a huge tornado. We had to take shelter immediately. Once that one passed, there were six more on the horizon all happening simultaneously and intermixed, complete with lightning bolts splitting the darkness into two.
I'm glad I woke up!
I took the dream to mean that I'll be having a very abundant dating life soon. More than I bargained for. But to stay safe, I'll have to be composed in the storm of female emotions coming my way.
-----------------------------
The only barrier I have left is directly telling a girl she's cute and asking her out on a date. I know this will be the key to massive growth in my dating life, I just have to bite the bullet. Or stay outside until I accomplish this.
The last hurdle, which is a work in progress, is the process of "individuating" myself and truly not giving af what other people think. By that, I mean having the full ability to stand on my own. To be fully comfortable with myself no matter the situation.
Being comfortable embarrassing myself, being comfortable expressing my anger and saying what's truly on my mind and meaning it.
---------------------------------------
I've also been cleaning my room little by little, dusting off everything and wiping down surfaces. My body is instinctively preparing for to have company over.
I just bought Tinder Platinum for the month ($47 ) to really up my chances, and to take full advantage of the Tinder guide. I may do the same with Hinge as I've had success with that app as well.
@pancakemouse Hey thanks man! I've replaced photo #4 with this pic I took today.
My question is, why remove it?
I heard that photo #1 is supposed to be the primary pic which shows your face clearly (my white shirt pic), then photo #2 is supposed to be the full body shot.
I don't really have any other high quality group shots which match the criteria in the article, but removing them makes it look like I don't have any friends, lol. Do they do more harm than good?
Let me know! Thanks, again!
------------------------------------------------
I also had a very vivid dream Saturday night going into Sunday morning.
There was a huge tornado. We had to take shelter immediately. Once that one passed, there were six more on the horizon all happening simultaneously and intermixed, complete with lightning bolts splitting the darkness into two.
I'm glad I woke up!
I took the dream to mean that I'll be having a very abundant dating life soon. More than I bargained for. But to stay safe, I'll have to be composed in the storm of female emotions coming my way.
-----------------------------
The only barrier I have left is directly telling a girl she's cute and asking her out on a date. I know this will be the key to massive growth in my dating life, I just have to bite the bullet. Or stay outside until I accomplish this.
The last hurdle, which is a work in progress, is the process of "individuating" myself and truly not giving af what other people think. By that, I mean having the full ability to stand on my own. To be fully comfortable with myself no matter the situation.
Being comfortable embarrassing myself, being comfortable expressing my anger and saying what's truly on my mind and meaning it.
---------------------------------------
I've also been cleaning my room little by little, dusting off everything and wiping down surfaces. My body is instinctively preparing for to have company over.
I just bought Tinder Platinum for the month ($47
) to really up my chances, and to take full advantage of the Tinder guide. I may do the same with Hinge as I've had success with that app as well.
- Joined
- Nov 14, 2021
- Goal
- Master daygame
- Age
- 34
Your group shots are worse than not having any at all.
Group photos are a meme. They're not really even required. I never had group shots and I racked up lays. You just need to present a fuckable attractive image.
Your car photo is better but the blur is a little much. The angle is not really doing your body proportions justice.
Group photos are a meme. They're not really even required. I never had group shots and I racked up lays. You just need to present a fuckable attractive image.
Your car photo is better but the blur is a little much. The angle is not really doing your body proportions justice.
Upstart
Member
- Joined
- May 19, 2022
5/23/24
Day 18
I FINALLY FUCKING DID IT.
I finally approached a girl properly.
4 times!
I didn't get any numbers, or insta-dates, or lays. In fact, I got rejected ALL DAY. But it feels so good!
Today, I went out, on a whim, to go and test my approach anxiety level. In the "Get Laid in 6 Weeks" guide Cam and Andy suggest cold approach to go along with online dating.
Back in 2022, I was doing the AA Program HARDCORE everyday, stopping at day 34 before I ran out of time to dedicate to it.
Now, it seems I've grown internally enough to actually just do it and not worry about the consequences. I don't need the rest of the program now. I have a new baseline. All I need to do is maintain this momentum and consistency of going out everyday and talking to people.
I think I talked to 8 or 9 girls today, but properly approached 4.
I watched this video by Coach Kyle Froonjian for the proper technique. I've literally never seen it explained more simply than he did. I used to watch this Tom Torero (RIP) Daygame vid for the same advice, but even that was too much for me at the time.
When I was in the shower this morning I said, I can get this done in 10 minutes, EASY.
I went to a book store. Tried to calm my breathing, and tried not dive into any books to slow my momentum.
#1: First girl was dressed super pretty in a white sundress. I saw her, then walked somewhere else. Thought about what to say, came back around and went into the Coach Kyle Tactics:
1. Approach from a safe distance. Then I said,
2. "Excuse me." Got her attention.
3. When she was looking at me, I smiled (as I had been robotically practicing in a mirror)
[The smile is SO key to making the girl feel at ease]
4. Then I said, "Hey I just wanted to say your dress is adorable, is this for a special occasion?"
She said, "No, this is just how I dress."
I said, "Dope, looks good."
Walked off.
I had now come back to the level I was at age 23.
Back then, after my first real date ever, I was able to approach girls left and right, but it was always a friendly chat and then I'd bounce. I'd never ask for a number or anything.
Today was different.
I knew I had to hint that I was at least attracted in a sexual way in order to progress beyond my old self.
The second girl I talked to...was on the phone with her boyfriend. I told her I like her look, she said "I'm kinda on the phone with my boyfriend. And turned away. I said "that's alright" and walked off.
I had a few conversations where it was just compliments and walking off like I used to do.
THEN I saw this girl who looked cute in her outfit I complimented her. Ran out of things to say, then I asked her if her boyfriend's around, jokingly. She said, he usually is, but not today.
I said "No worries, just take it as a compliment! Have a good one." and walked off.
That was the first time I hinted at a sexual relationship.
On the last true approach, I was in the library.
I saw a girl checking out a book. She had a hippie/gypsy vibe to her. I hovered around the area waiting for the right moment to approach.
Now that I think about it, it really is more creepy to NOT approach than it is to just go for it.
I quickly looked up a better synonym for hippie or gypsy on my phone.
"BOHEMIAN". Perfect.
I walked over to where she was sitting and went through the steps, Approach, "Excuse me", Smile.
I really like your Bohemian look. She was very sweet and said "thank you". I asked a bit of a follow up question,
then I said: "Are you single?"
She smiled and said, "Unfortunately, I am seeing someone right now. But thank you for asking."
She was SO KIND. I was ready to get my head bitten off all day, and here was the most polite rejection I could ask for.
I said "no worries, just take it as a compliment! And gave her light fist bump. She smiled and said, "it was good to meet you", I said likewise, smiled and walked away slowly.
I finally went beyond my past self.
I may have mentioned this before, but the thing I remembered about the AA Program, is that I don't really remember a single girl I approached and I don't think I EVER seen the same girl twice. None of the girls I did approach probably even remember me, so I've been worried for nothing.
I haven't "beaten approach anxiety", I still feel it, I can just act in spite of it now. I'll continue going out with this as my new baseline. Tomorrow I'll go out and try to push towards a phone number if I can find a girl who's single.
And thanks @pancakemouse! I've ditched the group photo, and this is my new stack. I want to leave in the boat photo, but only have the girl's hair in the picture, not even her face. Just a hint that someone else is there.
------------------------------------------------
Okay after writing this, I went out to the store to return some stuff and get some water bottles. I talked to two more girls. One had a nice ass, so I approached, and told her she has a nice ponytail look, then asked if she was single. She smiled & said:
"I think I might be too young for you" and asked me my age.
I said 28 and she said 19. I said, "that's alright" have a good one.
Next store, I made eye contact twice with one girl and went over and told her her pulled back hair was cute. She said thank you, then I asked if she was single and she said no.
I said no worries have a good one.
I'm so lucky, I've managed to avoid having to pay 1000s of $$$ for "bootcamps" and such. I could never afford that really, tho.
I can only imagine trying all this stuff to "game" a girl, when the question "Are you single?" weeds them out almost immediately!
Chris from GLL was right. Look good, talk to women. That's really it. A numbers game.
Day 18
I FINALLY FUCKING DID IT.
I finally approached a girl properly.
4 times!
I didn't get any numbers, or insta-dates, or lays. In fact, I got rejected ALL DAY. But it feels so good!
Today, I went out, on a whim, to go and test my approach anxiety level. In the "Get Laid in 6 Weeks" guide Cam and Andy suggest cold approach to go along with online dating.
Back in 2022, I was doing the AA Program HARDCORE everyday, stopping at day 34 before I ran out of time to dedicate to it.
Now, it seems I've grown internally enough to actually just do it and not worry about the consequences. I don't need the rest of the program now. I have a new baseline. All I need to do is maintain this momentum and consistency of going out everyday and talking to people.
I think I talked to 8 or 9 girls today, but properly approached 4.
I watched this video by Coach Kyle Froonjian for the proper technique. I've literally never seen it explained more simply than he did. I used to watch this Tom Torero (RIP) Daygame vid for the same advice, but even that was too much for me at the time.
When I was in the shower this morning I said, I can get this done in 10 minutes, EASY.
I went to a book store. Tried to calm my breathing, and tried not dive into any books to slow my momentum.
#1: First girl was dressed super pretty in a white sundress. I saw her, then walked somewhere else. Thought about what to say, came back around and went into the Coach Kyle Tactics:
1. Approach from a safe distance. Then I said,
2. "Excuse me." Got her attention.
3. When she was looking at me, I smiled (as I had been robotically practicing in a mirror)
[The smile is SO key to making the girl feel at ease]
4. Then I said, "Hey I just wanted to say your dress is adorable, is this for a special occasion?"
She said, "No, this is just how I dress."
I said, "Dope, looks good."
Walked off.
I had now come back to the level I was at age 23.
Back then, after my first real date ever, I was able to approach girls left and right, but it was always a friendly chat and then I'd bounce. I'd never ask for a number or anything.
Today was different.
I knew I had to hint that I was at least attracted in a sexual way in order to progress beyond my old self.
The second girl I talked to...was on the phone with her boyfriend. I told her I like her look, she said "I'm kinda on the phone with my boyfriend. And turned away. I said "that's alright" and walked off.
I had a few conversations where it was just compliments and walking off like I used to do.
THEN I saw this girl who looked cute in her outfit I complimented her. Ran out of things to say, then I asked her if her boyfriend's around, jokingly. She said, he usually is, but not today.
I said "No worries, just take it as a compliment! Have a good one." and walked off.
That was the first time I hinted at a sexual relationship.
On the last true approach, I was in the library.
I saw a girl checking out a book. She had a hippie/gypsy vibe to her. I hovered around the area waiting for the right moment to approach.
Now that I think about it, it really is more creepy to NOT approach than it is to just go for it.
I quickly looked up a better synonym for hippie or gypsy on my phone.
"BOHEMIAN". Perfect.
I walked over to where she was sitting and went through the steps, Approach, "Excuse me", Smile.
I really like your Bohemian look. She was very sweet and said "thank you". I asked a bit of a follow up question,
then I said: "Are you single?"
She smiled and said, "Unfortunately, I am seeing someone right now. But thank you for asking."
She was SO KIND. I was ready to get my head bitten off all day, and here was the most polite rejection I could ask for.
I said "no worries, just take it as a compliment! And gave her light fist bump. She smiled and said, "it was good to meet you", I said likewise, smiled and walked away slowly.
I finally went beyond my past self.
I may have mentioned this before, but the thing I remembered about the AA Program, is that I don't really remember a single girl I approached and I don't think I EVER seen the same girl twice. None of the girls I did approach probably even remember me, so I've been worried for nothing.
I haven't "beaten approach anxiety", I still feel it, I can just act in spite of it now. I'll continue going out with this as my new baseline. Tomorrow I'll go out and try to push towards a phone number if I can find a girl who's single.
And thanks @pancakemouse! I've ditched the group photo, and this is my new stack. I want to leave in the boat photo, but only have the girl's hair in the picture, not even her face. Just a hint that someone else is there.
------------------------------------------------
Okay after writing this, I went out to the store to return some stuff and get some water bottles. I talked to two more girls. One had a nice ass, so I approached, and told her she has a nice ponytail look, then asked if she was single. She smiled & said:
"I think I might be too young for you" and asked me my age.
I said 28 and she said 19. I said, "that's alright" have a good one.
Next store, I made eye contact twice with one girl and went over and told her her pulled back hair was cute. She said thank you, then I asked if she was single and she said no.
I said no worries have a good one.
I'm so lucky, I've managed to avoid having to pay 1000s of $$$ for "bootcamps" and such. I could never afford that really, tho.
I can only imagine trying all this stuff to "game" a girl, when the question "Are you single?" weeds them out almost immediately!
Chris from GLL was right. Look good, talk to women. That's really it. A numbers game.
Last edited:
Upstart
Member
- Joined
- May 19, 2022
Morning of 5/27/24
Video because the last two days were long!
I didn't really swipe the apps too much because I was out all day yesterday with my cousin, hitting on women and hanging out.
It really shocks me how much women appreciate it when you hit on them respectfully. It's nothing like all the game theory guides I'd read or watched online. Some aren't receptive to it and I have have to learn to let go of those negative feelings inside myself, but the positive experiences far outweigh the negatives in this case.
-----------------------------
May 24, Day 19 (of 90)
As mentioned in the video. I didn't feel like going out at all that day, but I still did.
I had a "mental breakdown" (not in a serious sense) which is what happens when my old identity crashes because I've literally shown myself proof that it is no longer valid.
All the energy that went into maintaining and upholding that old version of my ego is now replaced with the new version that can do things it never thought possible.
It's not a comfortable sensation, but it doesn't last long.
My mind was saying things like:
"Let's keep watching anime."
"We need more red pill knowledge"
"It's too tiring to go out and actually talk to girls"
"I much preferred it when we could watch others and dream about talking to girls"
Same thing happened when I started to juggle two girls, which I described in the video.
My mind was telling me:
"You're not the kind of guy who can pull this off"
"This is not our identity."
"You're a loser."
"You're a gentleman."
"You're not supposed to actually get pussy."
"You're only supposed to dream about it!"
I let all the thoughts run their course, then move on.
---------------------------
May 25, Day 20 (of 90)
Went out with my younger cousin to approach women in the Domain outlet mall. We had a blast.
-------------------
May 26, Day 21 (of 90)
I finally finished cleaning and dusting my room. Everything feels so orderly now, I love it. I haven't touched it since everything went downhill last year.
Socially, I felt lowkey, but I approached one girl at the grocery store. She was cute and very nice. But she said she was kinda seeing someone. I could have turned that into a conversation about a situationship, but said my usual line ("no worries, just take it as a compliment!") and ejected from the convo.
I didn't see anyone else I felt compelled to approach, so I got my groceries and left.
THE MAIN POINT:
I feel slightly purposeless at the moment, because I felt like overcoming approach anxiety would take so much longer and be this big mission like it was when I started 2 years ago.
It's like "Now what?"
When I try to see if I actually had some major goal beyond beating my approach anxiety, nothing really comes up besides having the dating life I want. I thought it would take another full summer of pain to beat it, lol.
In fact, when I approached that girl in the store, I had no nerves, and it felt pretty normal. Not that it will feel this way all the time, but it felt good to not be on edge.
I've passed beyond the big insurmountable mental barrier I created and can now do it at will.
My next step is to continue doing this until I can actually get a phone number, develop some dating options,
get more friends and become more comfortable with myself in a variety of situations.
I want to actually be able to dance in the club when I like the music.
I want to be comfortable on the riverside instead of intimidated by all the girls in their swimsuits and muscular looking guys.
I just want to accept myself in all situations and "EAT" the town as I'd promised myself 2 years ago.
And by the time this 90 day challenge is over, college will be back in session, and all the students will be back.
That's when the real deal starts, because by then, I'll be well trained up and ready to go.
The goal in my mind is:
Video because the last two days were long!
I didn't really swipe the apps too much because I was out all day yesterday with my cousin, hitting on women and hanging out.
It really shocks me how much women appreciate it when you hit on them respectfully. It's nothing like all the game theory guides I'd read or watched online. Some aren't receptive to it and I have have to learn to let go of those negative feelings inside myself, but the positive experiences far outweigh the negatives in this case.
-----------------------------
May 24, Day 19 (of 90)
As mentioned in the video. I didn't feel like going out at all that day, but I still did.
I had a "mental breakdown" (not in a serious sense) which is what happens when my old identity crashes because I've literally shown myself proof that it is no longer valid.
All the energy that went into maintaining and upholding that old version of my ego is now replaced with the new version that can do things it never thought possible.
It's not a comfortable sensation, but it doesn't last long.
My mind was saying things like:
"Let's keep watching anime."
"We need more red pill knowledge"
"It's too tiring to go out and actually talk to girls"
"I much preferred it when we could watch others and dream about talking to girls"
Same thing happened when I started to juggle two girls, which I described in the video.
My mind was telling me:
"You're not the kind of guy who can pull this off"
"This is not our identity."
"You're a loser."
"You're a gentleman."
"You're not supposed to actually get pussy."
"You're only supposed to dream about it!"
I let all the thoughts run their course, then move on.
---------------------------
May 25, Day 20 (of 90)
Went out with my younger cousin to approach women in the Domain outlet mall. We had a blast.
-------------------
May 26, Day 21 (of 90)
I finally finished cleaning and dusting my room. Everything feels so orderly now, I love it. I haven't touched it since everything went downhill last year.
Socially, I felt lowkey, but I approached one girl at the grocery store. She was cute and very nice. But she said she was kinda seeing someone. I could have turned that into a conversation about a situationship, but said my usual line ("no worries, just take it as a compliment!") and ejected from the convo.
I didn't see anyone else I felt compelled to approach, so I got my groceries and left.
THE MAIN POINT:
I feel slightly purposeless at the moment, because I felt like overcoming approach anxiety would take so much longer and be this big mission like it was when I started 2 years ago.
It's like "Now what?"
When I try to see if I actually had some major goal beyond beating my approach anxiety, nothing really comes up besides having the dating life I want. I thought it would take another full summer of pain to beat it, lol.
In fact, when I approached that girl in the store, I had no nerves, and it felt pretty normal. Not that it will feel this way all the time, but it felt good to not be on edge.
I've passed beyond the big insurmountable mental barrier I created and can now do it at will.
My next step is to continue doing this until I can actually get a phone number, develop some dating options,
get more friends and become more comfortable with myself in a variety of situations.
I want to actually be able to dance in the club when I like the music.
I want to be comfortable on the riverside instead of intimidated by all the girls in their swimsuits and muscular looking guys.
I just want to accept myself in all situations and "EAT" the town as I'd promised myself 2 years ago.
And by the time this 90 day challenge is over, college will be back in session, and all the students will be back.
That's when the real deal starts, because by then, I'll be well trained up and ready to go.
The goal in my mind is:
- Enjoy this town to the fullest
- Become comfortable in my own skin and with others.
- Work full time in comics.
- Date as much as I want.