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Wnyhg progress log

Weight 250
Chest 45
R arm 15
L arm 15
"2"" above"44
Belly 46
"2"" below" 44
Hips* 43.75
R thigh 25
L thigh 25
Height

Target Weekly Weight Change up 3 lbs
Other Activity? None
Training Time(s) limited training partner was not helping
Minimum Protein Target (g) 150(avoid gout)
Training Adherence this week poor
Sleep issues? (0-5) 2 avoid cell before sleep
Stress issues? (0-5) 2
Hunger issues? (0-5) 3
Fatigue/lethargy? (0-5) 3 need carbs minimally

So I increased my protein and got gout overnight alongside limited workouts but those that I did do were long. Partner messed things.up. Not happy especially posting these numbers even though they show an inch off my arms and an inch off my chest and neck? How does that even work? For fat guys like me there is a caliper test I came up with, not gonna patent it.

Grab your gut, pinch it with your hand. Straighten up. Does the top part alongside the xiphoid roll out of your hand or not? Grab the love handle or skin alongside your waist to the outside, is the pad of fat decreasing? How much do you have to rotate or flex to the side for it to come out of your hand? You could always take a picture, but I’ve been gauging my belly for years. It is even now definitely down and for the last 2 weeks, when I straighten out it rolls out of my hand that even I’m surprised that it does. I had a roll of fat just below my ribs that would stick out like a hernia,irritated the daylights out of me. Gone. I felt it dissipate since there last 2 weeks m. I couldn’t believe it. You can purchase calipers but those are for fit guys and not chubbies like me.

Goal after listening to a podcast is to exercise fasted with some aerobics after to take advantage of low insulin and eat at 2 pm. I think that was the analysis of the meta analysis.

Also more water. Keep an eye on my protein intake , it may be turning to fat cause I wasn’t really out there this week but was punching 200 grams of protein. Goal will be to stay hydrated and teeter around 200 grams.

I was ticked because I had to take a recovery alongside a day because of my partner . I did a quick check of the volume I’ve lifted and from Jan 14 till now m, it’s doubled at least for legs. So powerlifting with low reps and high poundage to higher reps with intermediate weights can lead to volume increases. I think I’ll limit my rest periods to try and keep my HR up and add some intensity. I’ll probably work on supersets next but I need to figure out exercises first. I’m liking kettlebells

Honestly these number don’t make sense. Unless theres muscle involved and I’m 50+.
 
Incline bench press with the bar x 100. Incline flues 7.5 X 25 x 2 then brought the weight up to 15. Flat flyes 20 x8 then 40 x 15 x 2. Incline hammer curls 10 x 15 x 2 then skullceushers 50 x 2. I miss lifting heavy and I’m sore.

Gone back to reading and recommendation is 1 g/lb for a cut. I’m stuck, This fuckin gout. I’m also probably drinking way too many diet soda and according to Tim Ferris’s book fructose may cause gout. I completely disagree but you know.

I used a different macro counter(my fitness pal) and it put me at almost 250 grams vs 192 carbs 142 and fats 134 on mymacros app that I use.

Hydration is still an issue.

The only heavy I’m lifting are deadlifts. As I mentioned my volume is up despite mid weights. If I go to twice a week with biking I’ll probably start pushing powerlift numbers , we’ll see. soon I’m going to be biking so I might need to change routine to avoid over use of legs until they acclimatize.

Main concern is upping my protein intake. I’m going to indulge in honey and cottage cheese. Change the eggs to omega organic types since the fat content may be making it difficult to lose the weight. I remember cheese really causing my weight to go up. Amd whey protein of course. I’ve two buckets and will
Wait before going out to get more.

1. Chest / Triceps, 2 Back /Biceps, 3 Legs / Shoulder although I’ll avoid doing chest on mondays. This is the routine that was recommended I’ll eventually be using, I might combine biceps and triceps to one day or work in a part I think needs help and isn’t sore.
 
Kettlebell swings 45 x 10 x 3. Hi iso lateral rows 90 x 10 then 160. X 10-13 x 3. Lat pull downs 45/10/1,90/10/2. T bar row 45/10/2-3. I didn’t do deadlifts didn’t feel strong for 285, do it Wednesday.

No such thing as omega eggs, shortage or something. I think that’s part of the issue, too much fat. I’ll switch to tuna Skipjack tuna and some mayo either egg noodles or a sandwich. There’s only so much whey I can drink. I’ve been considering a multivitamin but I’ll wait until I get to the shop, they often stiff on clearance that’s not online.

I’ve got a lot on my mind, I’ve learned to take it one step a time and prioritize. Keeping my frame with the family and reestablishing boundaries is hard, especially when people have been and are not open to change. It’s hard to drop parents and brothers. I often wonder if it’s arrogance on their part that they can’t accept me for standing up for myself and being different than what they would traditionally expect. Idk, I come first. That mushroom stuff is working.
 
Romanian deadlifts 185/5/2. Front squats 90/10/2. Incline leg press 90/10/2.

The powerlifting coach follows a carnivore diet. I asked him about my regime and he “yelled” at me. He went off. Calories in and calories out but for you follow your macros. No cheating whatsoever. I told him about the weight supplement and his response was too many carbs. He asked pertinent questions and max recommendations. This basically goes back to what natedawg said in his post. Not going to far ahead I’m eventually going to follow the IF diet or eating twice a day.

So the eggs, and the prime mass aren’t helping. I’m going to have to finish them and hopefully kill myslef in the gym. He does believe in somatotyoes which is the question I asked him after he asked me if I do cardio.

The mushrooms are helping. Not a lot of perseveration going on. I want to take another f dose but once a month only.

I got tested and my testosterone was low, I’ve given myself an injection of cypionate yesterday in my butt. Yippee. Hopefully I won’t turn into a slob. TSH was normal and labs were good.

Goals are to keep doing the gym and add vegetables by the boatload in order to avoid having to take a multivitamin. I know, but the same money can used to find good quality veggies. I’ll find a farmers market, the one close by hasn’t opened yet.

Human beings are made of haste and I want this phase of life to be over. Im not twenty, but out of the ashes im finding myself again in a better light and with a more individual mindset.
 
Great stuff.

Enjoy your process.

Be easy and compassionate towards yourself.

Mentally, processing this and being so at peace, is important when on the weight loss journey.

Enjoyment of life can suffer when doing "hard things", but shouldn't slip for too long, as this can pull towards suffering. We know when we're there, and it's not useful.

I say this, as you mention wanting haste, but self improvement is a quite slow process and being so at peace with that and life matters. Otherwise, you can break your own heart.

I've stupidly done that to myself a few times.

Compassion and self love is key here.

You're doing well Doc

MAC
 
Recovery day since I can’t walk normal and I can’t lift my hands to comb my hair comfortably.

Zyzz and chestbrah liked tuna. The nutritional facts show 25 grams of protein per can and sounds cheaper and tastier than whey. There’s a difference between the tuna in water and oil and brands so I’ll try different ones until I find one I like and stock up.

BCAAs vs. whey and it looks as if leucine is the most important amino acid. Chris from GLL also recommended BCAAs. I’m going to order from bulk supplements because theirs is not flavored and I can mix in some coffee syrup or agave.

Mentally I realize I’ve been torturing myself to the point of self-abuse. I think that mushrooms are something to invest in for the mid term because they will shut pharma down. The effect of a pill that costs 2 for 5 has been phenomenal.

It’s not my focus right now to do that research but what I’m writing is that for example, if the bar of soap is finishing, I’d do my best to make it last and not break in order to save even though the relief of having a full fresh bar would mentally allay the concern; every time I saw the bar in the shower or when I washed my hands. Instead of throwing out the kitchen trash, because I wanted to fill up the bag as much as possible by pressing down the garbage until finally I had to because I’ll be short on bags eventually. Even though they cost a negligible amount, I go through the mental gymnastics every time I was cooking or in the kitchen, which is multiple times a day. Just change the stupid bag man. The bathroom tissue roll should be efficiently used by folding the tissue, making it last longer even though there at least 10 rolls to use under the sink. I need to get some Mg and BCAAs, I need to find it cheap so that I have enough if I end up starving and being in dire straits. Unbelievable. You’ve been blessed with money, spend it. The kitchen knife doesn’t shred cabbage very well, note self to go upstairs and get my butchering diamond sharpener and then it clicked what I was doing to myself.
Here’s a funny one that was the epiphany. I needed oil for my beard. I went to the store after some research and purchased black castor oil and Jajoba oil. The Jajoba works well the black castor does not and smells less enticing. I thought that I have to use up the black castor oil before I start on the Jajoba because otherwise I’ll never use it and itll go to waste. This went on for almost a week. Just torturing myself to use something that doesn’t work well and doesn’t smell good on me. Like I had to becaus I purchased it. Today, I thought, why not just use this stuff on your head? Why not use the jajoba on your beard and the castor on your head? Who’s going to care?

Then when I was in a trance, realizing what I had been doing to myself, I thought imagine every single woman on the face of this earth in front of you and stand them on their heads. What do you see at eye level after you take off their clothes? They’re all the same. (This was dib told to me by a buddy who regularly bedded air stewardesses. He’d walk into a hotel they were staying at at just walk up to one and eventually they’d invite him up. Sometimes he’d get kicked out because he’d call them by the wrong name. He used to think I was the fucker. No T. you were.) I no longer have been putting them on pedestals. I see one on the street or at the gym, I don’t look twice. I haven’t figured it out yet what this means since I haven’t approached but it could be that they are no longer a priority or my wife is no longer my concern. The grief period and the stress is gone.I don’t care about people and I care about improving myself.

While I was walking somewhere , I usually had the urge to talk up everyone, like I craved and was dying for companionship, I was.

This celibacy was initially painful, then it seems I was adapting to it and today, I didn’t even look up at anyone, I wasn’t lost in my thoughts, I didn’t have the urge to say hi to anyone or talk anyone up. It’s a 180 for me. I actually walked down the street and was content.

As far as exercise, I need to exercise my neck and lower abdomen(Hamza on yt).

So tuna, water, forget woman and focus on my inner self to do some things that are positive and natural for me without worrying about my body, health and mental state. This reinforces another belief of mine, but that’s for another day.
 
Another recovery day.

Started magnesium last night before sleep, really helped. Found some electrolyte fizz to flavor the water I’ll be drinking at one of the local vitamin shoppes. Hopefully will help with recovery.

Sustainability in my diet. I’m not doing whey protein forever, although convenient. I’m sick of the flavor and frustrated by the lack of satiety from them. I’ll be grocery shopping so I’m going to add Greek yogurt and maybe cottage cheese and lettuce instead of bread and simple carbs. I’m getting into vegetables more now since I think I’ll be able to cook them. I wanted to learn stir fry but I’ll stick with my iron skillet for now. I’m can feel carb crashes with the bread, so it has to go.

I can feel the air between my legs which means I’m losing fat and gaining muscle, but it also means I’m going to have to change to insulated pantss or something.

Working on walking outdoors again, I’m going to gun for twice a day. Work on NEAT.

253 today. I’m not worried because I know the source and this ?clean bulk is helping with some muscle gain that I’d probably lost with undiagnosed testosterone deficiency. Makes sense.
3/6 protein 227 carbs 310 fats 146
3/7 ~100 grams protein 207 carbs and 43 fats
3/5 109 protein 338 carbs 69 fats
 
3/7 Protein 100 207 42
3/8 54 206 56
Of all the books I wasn’t expecting to improve myself with is the new one from Neil Strauss called The Truth. Reminds me of the movie Breakfast Club where Emilio the wrestler is talking to the other guys and saying “My daaad. WIN WIN WIN WIN, weakness is for losers!” … or something like that. I use my local library and get plenty of books to read and listen to. They ordered books for me too. Go ahead order a book on pickup, if it’s not already there.

Cable iron cross, decline push-ups, incline bench press, French press, triceps extension, triceps kickback and bike on a sumo bike for 10 minutes. The weights are honestly minimal compared to some of the guys like a terminator and Dannn on GLL, but I’m quickly learning how to determine which weight will get me to 15 reps on the lower limbs and around 10 reps on the upper body.

So a cardiologist with five kids buys his parents a house, the wife loses her shit and divorces him and all the money goes into the lawyers. Once upon a time this wife worked for the judges. Conflict anyone? That good man got ducked sideways. Everyone knew about it. There are lessons in this for all of us, take what you will. He was one of my go to docs so I saw almost it almost first hand. Totally totally totally ducked.

How many colleagues have I been approached by for an affair? One of the Hindus went ballistic and pretty much slandered me to the boss. I lost prestige and had to deal with repercussions, and it’s been that way every time except the Italian chick. Guys in this environment getting laid is easy, it’s the repercussions and fallout of dealing with a bat shit crazy person who’ll tarnish your rep just to get even for being rebuffed. The single most important, I think, standard that gets woman is appearance. What’s the difference between Andrew Tate, his brother, Di Caprio, and Jeremy Renner or Tom Holland. Even Neil Strauss? Neil flies under the radar, Di Caprio is a flyboy, Jeremy has issues, and the Tates don’t. It’s how you carry yourself. I walked into my college and a dorm back in the day when I won a beauty contest and the chicks literally stopped and stared at me. Not just one or two either. Does that happen now? Fuck no.

I’ve spiritually grown and matured. I don’t feel a rapport even amongst the yoga chicks, they’re attractive but dead to me. This reminded me of a Wilt Chamberlain saying, “having sex with a 1000 different woman is cool but having sex with one woman a 1000 different ways is what’s really happening.”
That’s my goal. He bedded 20000 woman, I think he knows.
 
I’m going to do 305 on my deadlift tomorrow. Mentally I’m off today. Recovery day.

Gave the prime mass away added cottage cheese tuna and Greek yogurt.

Robert Heinlein was a hilarious science fiction author who once wrote,” has there ever been a situation in which the majority was right?” I unknowingly internalized this and am asking myself once again if this is the case with dating. I’ve learned to question and seek insights, it’s a beneficial rabbit hole because I also learn about myself. Not always a good thing.

I fixed my problem with diet, now I need to make sure the gout die come back and I need to understand my body when it comes to recovery. Calisthenics can be beneficial but I’ve got a setup downstairs that I’ve been meaning to use.

My dad is trying to get back in with me. I became a doc because of him, he’s a doc too. I got a full scholarship and it all ended a couple of years back because I refuse to take shit from anyone. Frame. He buys me stuff and talks to my wife trying to get her to see areas on. From a therapist standpoint he’s trying to disempower me. He doesn’t care about boundaries and feels it’s within his right to interfere. He’s a pious man, and that has nothing to do with me. Guys like me because we’ve seen so much shit are tired of talking. We just take your values and jam them up your ass and cause trouble. That makes me a trouble maker. This approach when it came to woman came across as mysterious until they either called me sir or were turned off or went sexually ballistic. I’m pretty sick of it.

What use is any philosophy whether is Vonnegut or Cato or Kant if you can’t apply it? These intellectual woman can be so superficial, they drove me cuckoo. If it were to eventually happen, I’m going to go to Pakistan or India and serenade a widow into my bed. Lol.

I don’t like beauty, I don’t like too thin. I like woman who reflect intelligence in their eyes, a smile on their face and who know their way around a spiritual journey whether it’s via people or beliefs. We’ll see what tomorrow brings.

I’m writing this because this journal king is therapeutic.
 
Weight 254
Chest 46
R arm 14.5
L arm 14.5
"2"" above" 45
Belly 46
"2"" below" 46.5
Hips* 43.75
R thigh 25
L thigh 25
Height

Target Weekly Weight Change up 3
Other Activity? Limited walking
Training Time(s) less than 45 minutes
Calorie Budget (kcal) next step get rid of the diet soda
Minimum Protein Target (g) 150(avoid gout)
Training Adherence this week poor
Sleep issues? (0-5) 2 avoid cell before sleep
Stress issues? (0-5) 2
Hunger issues? (0-5) 3
Fatigue/lethargy? (0-5) improved with recovery

Goddamnit. Up almost 10 lbs. well PR on the deadlift today 295. No issues doing 5 reps. Doubled on T bar to 90 and barbell row to 110/2/8. My one arm row is up to 45/2/7.

I’ve added cottage cheese, fruits, cabbage, carrots. I add grapes and some preserves made in France to flavor the yogurt and cheese. I think my protein should be around 180- 200.

Preferred diet
Can’t make hummus don’t have a blender. Occasional potatoes.

-Greek yogurt 1 teaspoon honey with some grapes
-Cottage cheese with 4 fruit preserves
-Eggs omelette usually two with olive oil
-Lean ground beef in olive oil. I only use salt, onion power, and garlic powder.
-oatmeal if I’m having pangs at night or need something filling usually a cup with 2% milk. Not daily.
-tuna fish one or two cans with some mayo.
-water with electrolyte fizz
- homemade cappuccino and espresso. No syrup, freshly ground beans with 2% milk
-whey protein, likely to be replaced by tuna fish. Cost difference between servings is almost 2 dollars.
-In occasion I’ll have a few cups of egg noodles with one can of tuna and 2 tablespoons of mayo.

That’s it. I’ll add chicken breast occasionally but it’s not beneficial in the long run because of my blood type. I’m pretty sure I can eat this diet indefinitely without hesitation. No alcohol, have to get rid of the diet soda ( this is next)

It’s a war against myself and I’m enjoying it because it’s not scripted and it’s always changing. I love stress and I love pressured situations but the exception in this case is it takes a few days to figure out. :arrow:


I added cardio and started doing Tabata intervals. If I’m going to MTB, I’m going to need stamina and endurance otherwise I’ll probably die, bonking on top of some mountain or too much speed. The 5x 5 has been detrimental in this regard.
 
Wnyhg said:
Weight 254
Chest 46
R arm 14.5
L arm 14.5
"2"" above" 45
Belly 46
"2"" below" 46.5
Hips* 43.75
R thigh 25
L thigh 25
Height

Target Weekly Weight Change up 3
Other Activity? Limited walking
Training Time(s) less than 45 minutes
Calorie Budget (kcal) next step get rid of the diet soda
Minimum Protein Target (g) 150(avoid gout)
Training Adherence this week poor
Sleep issues? (0-5) 2 avoid cell before sleep
Stress issues? (0-5) 2
Hunger issues? (0-5) 3
Fatigue/lethargy? (0-5) improved with recovery

Goddamnit. Up almost 10 lbs. well PR on the deadlift today 295. No issues doing 5 reps. Doubled on T bar to 90 and barbell row to 110/2/8. My one arm row is up to 45/2/7.

I’ve added cottage cheese, fruits, cabbage, carrots. I add grapes and some preserves made in France to flavor the yogurt and cheese. I think my protein should be around 180- 200.

Preferred diet
Can’t make hummus don’t have a blender. Occasional potatoes.

-Greek yogurt 1 teaspoon honey with some grapes
-Cottage cheese with 4 fruit preserves
-Eggs omelette usually two with olive oil
-Lean ground beef in olive oil. I only use salt, onion power, and garlic powder.
-oatmeal if I’m having pangs at night or need something filling usually a cup with 2% milk. Not daily.
-tuna fish one or two cans with some mayo.
-water with electrolyte fizz
- homemade cappuccino and espresso. No syrup, freshly ground beans with 2% milk
-whey protein, likely to be replaced by tuna fish. Cost difference between servings is almost 2 dollars.
-In occasion I’ll have a few cups of egg noodles with one can of tuna and 2 tablespoons of mayo.

That’s it. I’ll add chicken breast occasionally but it’s not beneficial in the long run because of my blood type. I’m pretty sure I can eat this diet indefinitely without hesitation. No alcohol, have to get rid of the diet soda ( this is next)

It’s a war against myself and I’m enjoying it because it’s not scripted and it’s always changing. I love stress and I love pressured situations but the exception in this case is it takes a few days to figure out. :arrow:

You can get beef fat from the butcher for free instead of using olive oil . I just tried it. They gave me like 5 lbs of beef fat for free. If it works the veggies are going to taste great. Add some water.? My buddy also mentioned that he’s not able to lose weight if he’s drinking dairy. Here we go again. Might need to boot dairy to the curb and increase veggies.
I added cardio and started doing Tabata intervals. If I’m going to MTB, I’m going to need stamina and endurance otherwise I’ll probably die, bonking on top of some mountain or too much speed. The 5x 5 has been detrimental in this regard.
Click to expand...
 
Wnyhg said:
Weight 254
Chest 46
R arm 14.5
L arm 14.5
"2"" above" 45
Belly 46
"2"" below" 46.5
Hips* 43.75
R thigh 25
L thigh 25
Height

Target Weekly Weight Change up 3
Other Activity? Limited walking
Training Time(s) less than 45 minutes
Calorie Budget (kcal) next step get rid of the diet soda
Minimum Protein Target (g) 150(avoid gout)
Training Adherence this week poor
Sleep issues? (0-5) 2 avoid cell before sleep
Stress issues? (0-5) 2
Hunger issues? (0-5) 3
Fatigue/lethargy? (0-5) improved with recovery

Goddamnit. Up almost 10 lbs. well PR on the deadlift today 295. No issues doing 5 reps. Doubled on T bar to 90 and barbell row to 110/2/8. My one arm row is up to 45/2/7.

I’ve added cottage cheese, fruits, cabbage, carrots. I add grapes and some preserves made in France to flavor the yogurt and cheese. I think my protein should be around 180- 200.

Preferred diet
Can’t make hummus don’t have a blender. Occasional potatoes.

-Greek yogurt 1 teaspoon honey with some grapes
-Cottage cheese with 4 fruit preserves
-Eggs omelette usually two with olive oil
-Lean ground beef in olive oil. I only use salt, onion power, and garlic powder.
-oatmeal if I’m having pangs at night or need something filling usually a cup with 2% milk. Not daily.
-tuna fish one or two cans with some mayo.
-water with electrolyte fizz
- homemade cappuccino and espresso. No syrup, freshly ground beans with 2% milk
-whey protein, likely to be replaced by tuna fish. Cost difference between servings is almost 2 dollars.
-In occasion I’ll have a few cups of egg noodles with one can of tuna and 2 tablespoons of mayo.

That’s it. I’ll add chicken breast occasionally but it’s not beneficial in the long run because of my blood type. I’m pretty sure I can eat this diet indefinitely without hesitation. No alcohol, have to get rid of the diet soda ( this is next)

It’s a war against myself and I’m enjoying it because it’s not scripted and it’s always changing. I love stress and I love pressured situations but the exception in this case is it takes a few days to figure out. :arrow:

You can get beef fat from the butcher for free instead of using olive oil . I just tried it. They gave me like 5 lbs of beef fat for free. If it works the veggies are going to taste great. Add some water.? My buddy also mentioned that he’s not able to lose weight if he’s drinking dairy. Here we go again. Might need to boot dairy to the curb and increase veggies.

I added cardio and started doing Tabata intervals. If I’m going to MTB, I’m going to need stamina and endurance otherwise I’ll probably die, bonking on top of some mountain or too much speed. The 5x 5 has been detrimental in this regard.
Click to expand...
 
Keep working champ

I found, visualisations, things like actually watching videos of bodybuilders and the hardcore life they live, somehow helped my mind ease into weight loss and broke down some inner resistance

It'll come together
 
Hack squats
Stiff legged deadlift standing
calf raises
Lying rear delt raises
Reverse pec deck
Upright row

All weights going up by more than 10. Hack squats went up by 70. Diet is on point with protein at 191 carbs at 152 and fats at around 43.

My buddy recommended getting animal fat from the butcher who gave me like 5 lbs of fat for free. The veggies tasted awesome. 3/10 my protein was 109 carbs 67 fats 39.

Two of the female workers at the gym have been showing interest and one of them made a move today. I now realize I’m a complete doorknob. Married life changed me and I need to fix it or move on. I could’ve easy escalated but I was so enrapt with the workout routine it my mind didn’t even fathom that she would try to vacuum me or whatever she was planning on doing.

Why do woman cheat? A solid marriage, a good sex life and some dude shows interest and it’s all over? I’m never going to get it.

Edit: this afternoon my workout partner walked up to me with a grin on his face. There were others I was meshing with and he just stood there. afterwards I shook his hand and he offered to pay my gym membership. I said he didn’t need to but he insisted that he wanted me to always go with him. This guy is is not rich, I know this. I told him to wait. Went home took a nap, woke up and went into shock. Fuck me. That’s 99 dollars for three months or 40/ month. What’s beautiful is he doesn’t give a fuck what I am, my status or situation. Bro love m. Archie if you’re reading this, thank you.
 
Plank with leg raises
Russian twist
Crunch
Front squat
Barbell bench press
Lat pull-down

Push weights and the front squat has jumped by 10 lbs and 2 sets of 8 reps. I know the next day is a recovery day when my ear pops and I can’t stop it from normalizing pressure. Just and echo chamber.

Diet is getting on point, did some more shopping today and hit bananas, potatoes, and fish and eggs. I saw Samson Dauda meal prep and figured why not.

Busy day.!didn’t check my weight. Really tired and worn out. Deep breath and exhale. Get some rest and finish off the ground beef and oatmeal and take it from there.
 
SUPERB

Relax. Put your brain in a happy state Doc, it is necessary for the weight loss phase.

You WIL be shredded and in shape soon enough.

I did it



And as the GOAT says himself.........

so can you ;-)

MAC
 
Weight 249, I stared at the 9 and thought mfer, is that 259? No, that’s a 4 before the 9. Down almost 5 lbs in 3days. I’m not quitting the Diet Pepsi. Ha.

3/12 protein 207 carbs 79 fats 74.
3/13 protein 164 203 and fats 81

Recovery day. My right thigh and shoulder are hurting, woke up around 420 am and had a hard time moving. I sweated a lot yesterday during the workout, it was busy at the gym and so I took turns at some of the machines with what looked like HS football players. These guys are brutes. They lift incredibly heavy and they pushed me.

Haven’t been to a football game in a long time, I wonder if it’s time.

End of this week I’m going to try and get another PR on the deadlift, try for 300 +.

I may be using it as an excuse but my mind has to be made up with my reality. I’ve never bedded another woman besides my wife even though geek, loser me with the insight knew almost everything about woman. I’ve seen things including incest and In every sense, something stopped me then and it’s stopping me now.

She might not be faithful,idk, that’s on her but I’m closer to tranquility, fulfilllment and annihilation-of myself than I am to my sexual animal. My sexual being is a dog, yo. What do I do?

Not suicidal at all but like Milan Kuderov wrote “The unbearable lightness of being”. Now I get why Brown University put the book into one of its courses. I always thought it weird.

This means to me being closer to nature, my innate being and basicallly meditating at all times, work or play. I’m not bringing religion into this because it goes beyond what happens on one day. It’s not appeasing others, getting along or doing whatever the fuck I please, it’s more than that. I’m wondering if I should be here, my inner loser is being annihilated but it’s attracting women or making them curious in a way that makes them gross for me.

Yesterday at the gym of the one of female workers that I don’t think I’ve seen asked me to lower the bar for her at the machine i was working at. Big whoop, but she didn’t stop looking at me. Now I realize chicks talk to each other, was this real? Probably an overread. Move on. Whatever.

Last night I was in bed alone, I know they all have guy friends, they hookup so fast and I’m a doorknob, this couldn’t possibly end well even if I tried right now. What are my options? Everything I’ve been put through, all the tribulations we as humans deal with, this isn’t existential, I understood this much. I am alone and no matter what, I always will be. I have everything I’ve dreamed of besides this fucking weather, is 30 minutes of sex with goddamned condom what I want?

I think this is my inner loser. It’s not what I thought it was going to be. I read a book on CBT and closed it because I was already practicing some of the techniques to get through the separation. I have everything i need, there’s a body I want and getting a woman I want is going to take some work. She’s not going to be American, I’d probably go to Rio or the Indopak, I don’t want a traditional woman, but some one who can bring something to the table besides physicalities.

Patience little one. You know it, you’ve seen it, you’ve experienced it. All things in good time. Stay positive and enjoy life.

Some more shopping. Mushrooms(cooking), cottage cheese, gotta cook lunch and find another sport to delve into. I’ve got a punching bag, I’m going to try to find an app or gym with a trainer.
 
Another recovery day. Clean the house up.

I’m eating so much, almost choked on the food a couple of times until I saw a report of one of the better known bodybuilders being found dead and his friend removing food from his throat before starting CPR. Why am I even thinking about this?

I’m going to try IF. It’s going to be difficult because of my schedule on some lack of discipline.

Just for now I’m going to quit the diet sodas and add some cardio at the end of my workouts.

My macro recorder says I’ve got 23 consecutive days of checking my food diary. Feels like longer. Started lifting serious in January.

I think it’s time to add abdominal work to every workout. Some of its bad genetics. I’ve never seen a six pack in any of us. So I’ll start off with abs then continue with the other body parts.

Hydration, IF, abs, positivity, patience.
 
3/14 protein 156 carbs 68 fats 61
3/15 124/128/84

Weight 248 down 1 lb

V ups on a Swiss ball
Crunches on a ball
Side bends with 60 lbs total about 100 reps total

Then, incline bench press
Pec deck
Flyes
Triceps extensions

I tried to do the Dave Goggins workout but it not going to fly since I’m not strong enough. So I opted to vary the number of reps I do each week or each workout. How to distinguish intensity from failure? My RPE on most is 8 or 9.

I’ve also switched from free weights to machines this week. Kind of cool actually. I’m hoping to give the muscles a different stimulus over time, might even do cables next week. That way I’ll be able to see which exercises work best. Pick 5. I’m going to push my abs to the forefront and soon add pull-ups and chin-ups. One for the back and the other for the biceps.

That chick who was asking me to help her out was the gym owners wife. Body language. Crazy shit is going to happen to me again, I just know it. God, please get the husband on my side. please don’t get me kicked out of the gym. I won’t talk to her I won’t look at her, I’ll get a serial killer vibe and repeI, I swear I’m too ugly, and I mumble. This sucks.

I can’t eat as much anymore. I was able to finish off 5 tilapia fillets and now I can barely finish three. I’ve still about 5 fistfuls of veggies to finish.

I starting to believe in somatypes. The exercises and routines are specific for each. That is mesomorphs, ectomorphs and endomorphs. Hence, I need to start working on cardio but I’ve learned that I cannot do indoor cardio, too boring. I’m an endomorph btw.
 
Doc keep bringing the weight down

Right here with you

I want to get to 185lbs

I started at 275lbs

Keep working.

MAC
 
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