Back on Tue to resume the grind of grinds
Will work hard on biz & money
Body
Dating
Did some online dating while back here. 0 matches. Online wise, not impossible to get the odd match but close to it.
Still have day game I geuss.
The day game dates I had, all ghosted. Lol.
No leads. No lays for almost a year!
And guess what?
That is just the way it goes!
Nothing you can even do about it.
I have been working away here in England, and I have not been worried about dating or anything, it kind of slipped away. I was with my mentor and working so hard, life was full, it felt epic, like a movie.
Going back to Budapest, my heart is heavy, because I will have to continue with my mission in life, which is one which I do not fit the mould for. It is like pushing a square peg into a round hole. It just doesn't work.
And you want to know the worst part?
It doesn't work, because it cant.
What I write in these logs, is actually just objective reality, and how dating as a low SMV male / unattractive person is.
Increasingly, I think the only real solution is stoicism and deep acceptance.
Dating as a low SMV/unattractive person does not get better. I do not wish to offend people by saying this, I get that people generally can improve their dating life to SOME extent, but I think managing expectations is important and it is unethical and dishonest to lead low SMV men astray, and bad for their wellbeing.
The sort of outcomes I get, which are absolute dog shit, are likely to be what you can expect if you're on the other end of the SMV scale.
If you are OK with this, fine. But if you're not, the only solution I can think of, is deep acceptance. Learning to be OK with this.
This does mean that you have to learn to endure loneliness. This does mean that you will need to learn to embrace rejection completely - it's 5000+ approaches and no lay for me. I may never get an approach lay. That's life.
What I think is unacceptable, is men being sold dreams.
Part of me finds that totally unethical and I do not understand what makes people who do this tick. It may be some Dark Triad type traits. Or delusion. I don't quite know.
Whilst it is sad that many will be sold a pack of lies, there are atleast a few who read my log, and I will become successful in life and will have my own following soon enough (we have big plans) so atleast I will tell the truth on this subject and be able to reduce the suffering of others in some small way.
There is no one, or no thing, that can stop be from becoming successful, and in time, I'll have my own platform.
I am not a liar. I tell the truth and do not break my values.
There is no alternative timeline where it gets better - I will be the one who atleast brings honesty to the fore here in a sea of a lot of delusion.
Trust me, trust me, trust me: before you put years of your life into this like I did - it is just a huge grind, and for the most part, for absolutely nothing.
Self Improvement, while good for us as men, will after a while teach you where you stack up in the competitive marketplace.
If you're not able to get better outcomes or improve your results despite many years of ass busting, this is not due to you, but rather, is just reality. You can still, though it is rare, have success if you're a low SMV / unattractive dude. All you can do is:
-Grind to god tier levels
-Rarely, once in a while, you will get lucky
Most of these women you get the odd stroke of luck with, will be ugly as sin.
Funnily enough, when we are sold on the idea of building a dating life as low SMV men, no one tells you this, do they?
I wonder why..........
Not so pretty a picture, is it?
I don't blame them.
But MAC is here to save those who I can, from a hell of a lot of pain, because I put myself through it for a damn reason, to help other human beings avoid suffering. If this shit kills me, so be it, if a few men have been able to escape a life of suffering, I will sacrifice myself for that happily. Some people will need to be warriors in life.
The occasional stroke of luck & ghost, is not enough to build a dating life.
Why do people not tell you this? Why is it just you MAC speaking in these harsh terms?
Because delusion and self-deception is a profoundly powerful force. These people are not stupid, nor are they telling lies or being deceptive.
They genuinely believe it.
Because it is their reality.
You will never, ever get these concepts through to them, they literally cannot understand it, process it, or make any sense of it in any way. It's legit like talking to a crazy person.
Leave them to it. They're just not bright enough to see a perspective that is not their own. It is a sign of an educated mind to be able to understand a world view that is not their own, and understand how it could conceivably be reality. Few are smart enough to do this, and this is just reality. It is your job to understand this, and be able to navigate the world and people's cognitive biases effectively.
Heuristics I look at to judge whether someone is legit in knowing their subject matter:
Can they produce outcomes in very difficult situations?
As a Project Manager, the PMs who can produce serious change and transformation, in organisations which were FUCKED, were the ones who had a fucking masterful understanding of the deep inner game.
Think about turnaround CEOs. These guys are fucking KILLERS. Their understanding of biz is elite. Think Lee Iacocca reviving Chrysler, Steve Jobs, etc. These guy are so exceptional, they can get results in situations 99.9999999999999% could not. These guys, know their fucking shit. This is who you study, to learn the deep inner game.
People of this calibre use their mind and talents to contribute to far more significant problems than dating. With dating, we get some smart people, but not too many. As such, you end up with thinking and understanding that is at an incredibly low level of sophistication, including paradigms that are built upon assumptions that are not replicable at best, and at worst, completely obscure the ability of males at lower levels of SMV and attractiveness to build a dating life for themselves. These are the guys that get FUCKED OVER.
Whilst difficult, in this log atleast I have done the work and put pieces of the puzzle together, and will always root for them and continue to push the utility of (a) hardcore self improvement, (b) extreme numbers game and (c) acceptance and stoicism.
On (c), this is one of the most important things.
Not everyone can build a rewarding dating life.
You have to be attractive, and women have to like you.
If you've tried very hard, for years, and still cannot make anything happen: it is legit not even you. It's a brutal hand you were dealt by nature and I am so, so sorry. Your looks, are not good enough, and your inner being, is not in alignment with what women find attractive.
I myself, am a nerd, a workaholic, and use my brain for things that, to me, make the world a better place. I like to be productive and to solve problems.
The combination of: unattractive + low SMV + nerd, when it comes to women, is pretty much a death sentence sorry to tell you.
There is still extreme grinding, and now and then, it could take YEARS, you can get lucky. But that is all you may get, the odd, fleeting moment, and poof, it's gone, for years. This isn't a great approach I will be honest: I've not had a lay for about a year, but this is the best I can come up with.
If you are OK with that, proceed. If it's not going to be acceptable for you, IMO, try anyway because you could run into the odd gal who likes you, but just understand a satisfying decent dating life probably won't happen.
We need more people in this world telling THE TRUTH.
I am glad I log here, to provide some realism and balance. My truth to you is this: it does not get better in a meaningful sense.
I will keep logging, consistently. At least for 1 more year. My suspicion is that I will not get anywhere with dating now, online had gone to pot, can't get shit anymore, and that was how I used to get the odd lay (back then, I just slept with anyone, so settled for absolute dogs). Never was able to make anything happen off approaches and don't think I will.
At the end of the day, this will only be a small chapter of my life. Following this, I am pretty certain there is a future of travel, wealth, success, and all sorts of positive experiences. Some, will have to go through this life alone. I have no idea why this is, but nature does this for a reason. If I really think deeply, the only possible conclusion I can draw is that nature does not want certain people in the gene pool. That happened to be me. I suspect this is due to being a neurodivergent person. The less said about this, the better. It is not good to brood on these things, it evokes victimhood, which I have no time for. Better to proceed, work hard, and be a useful person, than a whining sack of shit. No one is promised a rose garden. You can do the work, and get nothing. You can get invested in Self Improvement and believe it will improve your dating life, for this to be a concept that is completely wrong. This concept breaks down entirely when it is challenged in the case of more difficult situations. Can you see why the heuristic above really matters? Where are the guys who can produce results for tough situations? Yeah, exactly. Crickets. The reason being, that is truly tough and goes so, so, so deep, it is far beyond the scope of what most know. My own thinking, is that a quite extreme version of the numbers game may be necessary, and then just coming to acceptance and being stoic. With large enough numbers, you can get lucky. That's it. Notice how that is not building a dating life? I don't use such terms, because I am not an irresponsible piece of shit.
You can't argue with nature. It just takes you out.
One's finite, short time on this earth, is best spent trying to be happy and enjoying the experience. It is a basic human need to want companionship. But this does not mean you will get it. This, whilst incredibly unfair, is a brute fact of life, and IMO we need to think more about how to just accept this, how to end the struggle, and possibly, for those who really cannot fucking make it, a way to end the journey in a manner that does not create resentment or embitterment. Perhaps a solution may be to understand this more as an acceptance of nature and biology doing what biology must do, which is to weed out the undesirables. There may be some noble good in this, in not reproducing if you're just going to pass the problem on. "Genetic filth", whilst a harsh term, carries with it a powerful truth. Nature is telling some of us something. Perhaps a smart man sees this, understands it, and finds a way to maximise his utility and happiness before the gig is up. I am prepared for this and will appropriate measures in a year or so. This statement, I suppose, comes from a place of delaying the inevitable - I got to understand how this works, because I kept showing up and did it for long enough. Unlike some who have deluded themselves into their own bullshit, I am glad I am transparent and honest here. That, I know, makes it just a little harder for some men out their to have the wool pulled over them. That is good enough for me.
MAC
