A lot to process but a very very valuable post and I appreciate you taking the time Manly
I will reply but its late now I will go to bed, work hard tomorrow, and will reply but ofc I agree, we all agree, its not good that I do write some negative shit on here. Honestly I know it's bad, however, I am trying to improve in this regard and be more positive about things. I hope, in time, with more improvement, I can get a better situation. We'll see man.
I do have to vent sometimes, it is something I've always done. But I think I may need to find a way to do this, that isn't as negative. Perhaps, as you say, instead of writing out how I feel (this actually works well, I don't know why, it just does) perhaps I should practice some form of gratitude.
The negative posts towards women, I used to do back in the day in rather ugly fashion, as it was horrible back then when I was living in nightmare mode. Now, I do not have that feeling of hatred, not at all. However, in it's place, there is instead, a feeling of jadedness. I care struggle to care for woman now, unfortunately. Thisis a two way street, and men know when they have been treated so poorly and discarded in inhumane fashion. Whether it's right or wrong, when one's humanity is treated as disposable, for a protracted period of time, and rejections stack in up numbers that boggle the mind, for no acceptable reason, it is normal to become dead inside. I still have compassion for woman and am genuinely hurt by their suffering, such as human traficking, that actually made me cry the other day to read about horrible things that happen to women and girls, for no reason. My heart does brake for them. However, another part of me sees no solution and no way man and woman can collaborate in a meaningful way in the modern context. How are you supposed to love the people who reject you all the time and ghost you every fucking time? It's not their fault, they have the right to go for whoever they want. I don't blame them.
It will be a LOT of improvement to enter the top 20%, if I am able to at all, and this is realistically years and years more work.
All a bit nuts.
When you are trying to love someone and add to their life, and are outright rejected enormously because of this, then sadly part of you does die. Action taking has a dark side. This is the side of the dating game and self improvement, we really must be conscious of. I think I must make this clear, these are feelings I struggle with and it has been tough to deal with. I recall, last year, when I saw a girl crying in London, I was quick to go out my way to check if she was OK and make her laugh etc. She was just having a bad day and you are supposed to do this for anyone, man or woman. I will do small favours for both sexes, all the time. Dude dropped his groceries yesterday and I ran to pick them up etc. This is something we all need to do. I was a bit disturbed, when not too long ago, there was a woman of about my age in a store, crying on the phone to someone. I should have asked her if she was OK when she hung up, but I noticed, I didn't care anymore. This was a moment when I realised my heart has become closed off and hardened. I sat in my car for some time and thought about it.
I will reply tomorrow.
Today, was so so in terms of work. Slow start. Gym has been fucking solid lately and I'm feeling strong. Muscles were looking better. Scale was at 190lbs so that is solid.
I will keep training hard, going to failure, and just work so hard on my body and getting ripped.
Dating wise:
Yesterday, got 2 matches on Tinder. 1 exchanged, agreed to date, and then didn't confirm and stopped replying. The other talked for a while and then asked me to pay her rent.
Another lead, chatted, pitched date, and she told me I should instead come to her hotel room and purchase a bottle of champagne. Bottle scam. Already seen the Top G video on this.
Day Game:
1 blowout, probably due to then trying to get the train
2 she stopped, in a rush objection, came super fast, so didn’t feel calibrated to Persist
3 she wouldn’t chat, just started asking me for directions
4 she was eye fucking me even after locking eyes. So I approached. She was nice and gave a strong ioi. Husband. I actually saw the wedding ring after.
5 she was totally melting and really into me, I was running decent game imo, smirking and giving tiger eyes; she waited for like 5 mins and then gave me the boyfriend objection. Very annoying. She was super hot.
The girls clearly enjoy talking to me and feel attraction this one was full on swooning but they keep on engaging with me despite their BFs
This is a sticking point
6 long set, again, I didn’t record this, but she was very attractive and talked for 10 fucking mins before telling me she had a bf
Every time they do this I am just like WTF
What can be done about this? I need to filter them out sooner
7 chatted but refused exchange, and really wasn’t investing at all, I’d say this set just wasn’t happening
8 Chatted for AGES, she missed her train to talk, and then...."I have a BF"
They are ofc enjoying the validation, but not wanting to know me.
The other girl who IG exchanged, didnt follow back. Ashes and dust. The set was solid. Oh well.
My day game, is not quite working, I am barely exchanging, and the numbers are not solid.
The girls, unless I am very smiley, will NOT stop. They are legit terrified. Being a massive man hurts you in this regard (remember I am 6ft5 and have an enormous frame). This is an issue, as to stop them, you have to be super safe, but then, your set is DONE unless you can immeditately calibrate into bad boy. Maddening shit.
Self analysis:
Todays day game was a dud
Every set that hooked and vibed had a bf
And importantly, there was no intent and there is this strange platonic energy that is quite maddening
This means the interactions just go on and go and then they just depart
What can be done about this?
I am trying to gaze into their eyes, get closer
Sometimes when I take a step into them, they immediately take a step back!
I think what factors were bad today were:
Tonality being off adds to sucky vibes
Stopping, is getting way better
I have found I annoyingly have to give them a cheesy grin to get them to stop
Otherwise they are so so scared
Sadly being a huge man hurts you in day game unless you can open like a very safe person
And then immediately switch on bad boy
This is very hard to do in practice
Online Hustle:
I am using Tinder, Hinge, Badoo, Feeld, FB Dating.
No leads right now.
Budapest, is super rough for dating. The women, frankly, are not open to getting to know me - I can respect their preference, but I am still hopefully going to meet atleast one lady who will show me some form of decency.
I enjoy approaching, day game makes my day better. Not for the interactions with women. During my session, I enjoy the work. Post session, as it's another lonely night, you do feel your heart continue to harden. But for the art form, it's good to do the work. To become a better technical day gamer, is quite cool. I will keep working on it.
-MAC
" Was probably just a validation set but you did a good job overall. "I'm only here for a short period" "doesn't have to be a long thing to be a good thing 
" Overall you needed a bit more comfort and commonality seeking.
