Friday 7th November:
(1) Work
- Release uprobe [Fail]
- Move slides to the new document [Done]
- Figure out what is wrong with setid [Done]
(2) Inner work:
- Meditation 15min [Done]
- "What did I do today to be a man?"
(3) Dating:
- No need to do more hinge since I am traveling on Monday
- Complete 10 sentences of each dating category
- Date with Hinge girl [Done]
(4) Health:
- Good diet [Done]
- Good Hydration, Add creatine to the water [Done]
- Wake up early and get light exposure [Done]
(5) Other:
- Pick up a new jeans
- Download the next book: Laws of human nature
- Write learnings from 48 laws of power
It was a good day yesterday. The highlight was the date and there were a lot of learnings from that.
TLDR: I pulled but didn't close. My inner game is ass
She showed up to the date 30 minutes late but did give me a heads-up. This might have been the most negative person I have ever seen. A 2/10 inner game and 6/10 look-wise
I was trying to build comfort and get her to open up. Initially, she seemed pretty closed off but it slowly got better. The conversation was boring at times, sometimes logical. I would try to make it viby and fun but she was way too logical at times.
I progressively got a bit touchy, but nothing bold though. 20min in she gave what I now believe was a shit test.
Her: "You know I can block you anytime, right? You better be on your best behavior"
That sounded so offending to me. I am not your dog bitch
Me: "What are you going to do really? We're already on the date right now"
Her: "I will walk away and block you after"
Me: "Do it then. Block me" (said in a confrontational/daring way)
Her: "Ahhh... No, you haven't done anything wrong. I don't have to..." She backs off after that
Looking back at it, I don't think I handled it badly. I should have been more dominant and thrown it back at her after that. Something like:
Me: "I'm not here to play games girl. Unlike you, I won't hesitate to block you. So watch your behavior"
I brought up handling shit tests to Coach D and he said that shit tests are designed to test your inner-game/masculinity. A shit test is also an invitation to be more dominant.
I like the word "invitation", I don't have to feel bad slapping them back as hard as possible.
Things seemed to head in the correct direction after the shit test. She opened up a lot more and I put my hand on her thigh. She then put her hand on top of mine. All good signs
An hour in, she mentioned she wanted to smoke some weed, so I went for the pull. Offered her to go smoke back at my place. She accepts and we walk back
This is when things started to go badly and I ended up losing control of the frame
I offered her a choice which was either smoke a joint outside or hit my weed pen upstairs. I think offering girls a choice is dumb, they can't decide on anything and I should just have made the decision myself.
She flip-flops between the two but in the end, said she wants to smoke outside, sure
We smoke, get upstairs, and get to my room. At this point, I kinda shut down lol. My mind was fighting against me and I couldn't escalate.
The first thing that happens is that she sits down on my chair and I sit on my bed.
Then she complimented my room and said I had a good view.
Told her that my view was pretty and was 'okay'
She goes on to tell me that she lives in a way worse apartment and that she is a tougher person than me because she lived a hard life and that she has wisdom, blah blah blah.
I would mention something I struggled with she would try to double up on me. Telling me how I have it so easy LOL
I think she got insecure when she saw my apartment and tried to prove something to me. I don't think she's "tough" or has "wisdom". She is the most broken person I have ever seen and doesn't know shit.
I would love to go back and slap some respect into her. I will fix my inner game and not smoke any weed next time.
What I did well:
- Managed to pull
- Passed her shit test
What I need to improve on:
- My inner game around escalation is still bad. I self-sabotage, my head tells me that I am not that guy, that I am not worthy. I have hit this wall multiple times and need to break it
- I did not sexualize
- I did not command enough respect from this girl
- Gave her the frame multiple times
- I feel shame around this date. Shame that I gave in to my inner game problems, that I am struggling with this, and that I didn't slap this bitch hard enough.
What I will do to improve:
- I need to review my date audio
- I need to dive deep into my inner game problems. I have taken notes on what the sticking points are and dive deep into them
- Derek from the New York group sent me an audio of one of his dates. I need to listen to an audio to see that sexualization is normal
- Make a more thorough plan for post-pull
She messaged me after she left intending to meet again. Told her I am traveling for 10 days. She asked if we could meet before, told her I only had Sunday free and our schedules didn't line up.
Might or might not see her again. I don't really care to be honest
On another note:
I went day gaming today. It was bad, almost no sets. Is this what day game in the winter is?
I am leaving on Monday for 10 days so no more dates or day game for some time. Just me and inner-game
