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colgate - FINALLY!!! i get my first daygame lay!!! after 3 years!!!

0/20 at night

View attachment 1
Let's go out at night with glasses lol.

Pic is where I went up to the girls and inserted myself in the pic and they accepted. Then my friend came up and was like "wait a sec". I ended up continuing the interaction with the woman on the left and walking down 2 blocks with my arm around her while my friend was distracting the other girls far behind. Tried to get the woman in this club but she went away after I took my arm off her and went in, so she was just unreceptive.

2 of the approaches had a friend who was like "this is my gf". told them to make out in front of me based on my experience from yesterday.

1 - Kissed for 0.25 seconds. I was like nahhhh I wanna see a make out let's go for 10 seconds, so they started again. Another friend tried to cover my eyes and I moved her hand out of the way. Counted 4 seconds and they couldn't do it, so I put my arm around the girl again and pushed for an interaction 3-4x. Got aggressively deflected and told them to get the fuck out of here.
2 - Refused to make out after 2-3x push. HYPER deflected. Also told them to get the fuck out of here. This one was interesting because the girl whom I approached told me she has a man and then her friend tried to tell me that they're gfs. Like lol okay let's blow our friend's cover. Anyway, later the other girl was hyper receptive to some other guy so maybe I just approached the wrong girl out of the duo lol.

Anyway, mostly all aggressive deflections for the most part. I think that means I'm sufficiently aggressive enough now.

I think now what I really just need to be aware of is making sure I don't just stagnate by only acting one-sided and purely rely on being "aggressive". That means being more self-aware of my behavior and calibrating when I need to. The only way I can see this happening is approaching more and staying consistent.

I also don't think I ever reveal my vulnerable side to girls. But it's not coming from a place of I have something to hide, it's more like I'm not even aware of what I'm hiding, if there is something.

But yeah, I definitely am feeling like a guy who goes out at night now lol. Not feeling out of place as much as I used to.

--

Also did some OLD, but not a real sesh. Boosted at 9:30pm and then accidentally did a consecutive boost at 10:00pm because I got confused by the prompt haha. Got probably 2 or 3 matches? I think there aren't a lot of people actually on Tinder in Austin on a Friday night cuz everyone seems to go out. Did another boost at 3:00am for the lolz and the only match wanted someone to piss on her lmaooo. I kind of wanted her to meetup anyway and see where it goes but I literally have no idea how to handle this. I feel like she wants someone experienced with that (I'm not into it and I have zero experience in general).


I think I gotta start trying Bumble and Hinge in addition to Tinder. I wonder if Tinder is actually a real thing in the US, especially in a place like Austin.
 
"2 of the approaches had a friend who was like "this is my gf". told them to make out in front of me based on my experience from yesterday"

I'm gonna copy that one.


I admire what you do bro you're crazy. 130 approaches in one day seems insane. But also you have the patience to deal with these people and try to appeal to reason. I'd just spit them in the face and keep walking.
 
Sisyphus said:
try to appeal to reason.
Click to expand...

I think even this was a mistake in my part. Andy also said the same in an earlier post on this thread. Like people who want to argue don't care about "reason" or whatever so the ideal thing to do is walk away, which I've been doing way more often now.
 
4/~15 daygame. I honestly could have done ~25 though.

First day session in about 2 weeks. The session itself wasn't really that special, but I was applying an epiphany I had from talking with my friend a few days ago.

He had an approach recently where he felt he had absolutely no energy. He decided to just approach this girl as a "low-energy dick". He was just like "what the fuck are you up to?" "damn you're already going home? that's lame", basically that kind of vibe. She ended up exchanging and now they're texting.

The big epiphany I had is being aware of your emotional state and projecting whatever that energy is onto your approach. This was a big realization for me because my early day approaches were just hyper-robotic 20-30 second convos without trying to even connect with the girl (that's how I could do 40 approaches in an hour and like 107 approaches in under 6 hours lol), and even when I realized this was ineffective, I had a lot of trouble trying to figure out how to actually introduce myself to girls without robotically asking her some questions and then going for a number.

I was able to apply this today by just taking a quick 1-5 second check-in before I go up to a girl and understand what my energy/feelings were in that moment, and then projecting that energy during the approach and winging it. This manifested as statements such as "give me a sec I'm blanking out" and then she giggles and I end up continuing the conversation for a few more minutes before asking for an exchange.

I've always wanted to be able to learn how to be vulnerable around girls but I didn't really know how. It wasn't that I had something to hide, it was that I wasn't even aware of what I was hiding in the first place. But I think just 1. being aware of my emotional state before an approach 2. genuinely projecting it during the approach is a step in the right direction and will help me build better connections with women.
 
5/25~30 daygame + 1 Instagram (but 1 number is fake so more like 4/30)

Haven't had a solid daygame session in a while. I went up to every girl I wanted to and had pretty good conversations with all of them. Yesterday I just felt nervous but today I felt like I just wanted to have a good time.

I took the Instagram after she declined my number push just because she was really hot. I'm not expecting it to go anywhere but I might experiment with settling for some Instagrams just to see what happens.

My friend had an interaction that provided some value for me in future approaches after we were done with the session. He often re-compliments girls during the interactions and also he usually up front asks about "what do you like to do for fun" and "what makes you cool". Basically more personal questions. I think my interactions are a bit too boring, even though lately I've been getting better at projecting my energy and frame during an interaction.

I don't care about her job and etc for example looool. Although every other chick in the domain is in tech so that makes it easy for me as someone in tech as well. Will work on being more personal with girls I approach.
 
Solid stuff man. Loving that your emotional intelligence is growing from approaching.
 
Dewm said:
Loving that your emotional intelligence is growing from approaching
Click to expand...

Yeah I have always known I have really low emotional intelligence and was confounded as to how I can work on that. My current mindset on approach seems to have revealed a pathway for working on that for me.
Earlier approaching just gave me confidence and audacity, since I was doing many "impossible" approaches early on. I don't really do crazy approaches as often anymore (mainly because I'm in places with more volume now).
Now it's becoming a way to improve emotional intelligence I believe, since I'm not doing 30 second approaches and racing to extract a number on every approach. It seems based on my session today I can still get decent volume without being a robotic asshole incongruent with myself.
 
Daygame
Total: 13/25
Girls be giving their number out like candy today.


Compared to Nashville, since I'm not being a psycho robot on my approaches anymore, more girls are actually responding to me over text I think. I think if I was being an approach machine I would have done like 60+ in the time that I took to do ~25 today (around 2-3 hours)

I should push for instadates though. I have no pull logistics for the uni but I can probably get some crazy campus experiences and have more fun with girls. I'll experiment tomorrow.



Also I picked up lacroix from the airport tonight and we did like 30 minutes of nightgame haha.
 
I've been approaching at a university here in Austin lately. There's 7x more people than Vanderbilt and I've been getting much better at approach lately (namely, not doing robotic spam approach, and actually trying to connect with girls). I've been so zoned in that I don't feel like posting in my log and I didn't think I had anything to post of veritable value (other than just logging my approach sessions), but I'll post what I've been doing lately.

Daygame
11/11: 6/20 + 1 instadate.
The instadate was kind of weird. I took an 18 year old to a boba tea shop and she was just following my lead and letting me put my arm around her and etc. Eventually I told her to sit with me on a bench. I tried to go for a kiss after putting on some music but she deflected. I disengaged (completely separating myself from her), and re-engaged a few times but no dice. I think she was actually just unreceptive because every time i disengaged she moved farther away.
At some point I asked her if she'd ever kissed a guy and she was like "no". I tried one last time and she was like "I'm asexual" so I just got up and said "well you should get to class nice meeting you" without trying to exchange lol.

11/12: 11/30+
I opened a girl who whizzed past me on a skateboard 5 mins prior "time slowed down and my heart was throbbing when u skated past me" and I got a date with her Sunday at 2pm. Value is that I literally said what I wanted to and actually felt in the moment even if it was corny. I don't always open every girl with some crazy line like this but I genuinely felt like saying that to this girl.

I had a date with her today (see below).

Dates
Saturday 4pm - 23yo Latina met on 11/7 - girl scurries off after i put my arm around her
She arrives at the donut shop at 4:20pm and I arrive around 4:30pm. We hug and talk in line. She voluntarily pays for her own donut. Sit down talk for 15-20 mins. I start talking about music, I bring up Mongolian pop and she's like "yeah show me!" Then she asks if the donut shop has any water and I'm like I don't think so but we can get some water at my place. She declines with "I don't know if I feel comfortable with that."
So we go to the food mart across the street to get water. She buys her own water, voluntarily. Then we walk over to my place and I'm like, let me show you that Mongolian pop. She's like nooo I don't feel comfortable. Alright.
Walk 2 more laps around the block and try to get her back to my place but declined both times. I decide this isn't going to work so I just walk somewhere else with her.
We walk to some place with large chairs and people watch while talking for another 5-10 mins. I tell her to sit down with me in the same chair I'm sitting in. She's like "I don't feel comfortable..." Alright lol.
At this point, I want to end the date so after another few minutes of talking, I scoot my chair next to her and put my arm around her. She jumps up and says "well it was nice meeting you but I don't think this is going to work out". I say bye without looking at her and leave.
--
So this was basically a "mileage date". I know that girls won't acquiesce to pulls right off the bat so I tried a couple things a few times before deciding that it wasn't going to work so maybe we could chill outside somewhere and see what happens. But the fact that she was unreceptive even to physical contact means this wasn't going to work out.

Sunday 2pm - 18yo on skateboard met on 11/12 - first pull + no hookup
I arrive at the donut shop at like 2:15 and she arrives at 2:16. We hug and talk in line and then I recommend her a donut and I purchase our donuts.
Sit down and talk for like 8 minutes. As we're finishing our donuts, I bring up music. We talk about what music we like and I mention Mongolian pop. I'm like yeah we can go listen to Mongolian pop at my place. She says "yeah that sounds good" with zero pushback. (when I talk about rejection being "mileage", I see this girl having zero resistance about coming back to my place as a result of me handling the girl yesterday who declined 3-4x pull attempts. today's girl was like the "exit" on the Interstate).
We go to the food mart to buy some waters (I buy her water too) and head over to my apartment. She sits on my bed and I pull up Mongolian pop and put my arm around her. She's ultra receptive to cuddling with me.
So after 2-3 minutes I try to kiss her and she's like "I don't wanna do that..." I'm like, damn that was too good to be true haha. Anyway we keep going through various songs and I try to kiss her 2 or 3 more times. The last time she said "I don't wanna do anything" I just say "We're not going to do anything, I just want to kiss" and she declines again.
But she's still cuddling with me, and honestly as a guy who literally has never brought a girl back to his place and has rarely been physical with girls, I'm literally getting high and giddy off of just cuddling with her and holding hands. So I enjoy it for a bit. Stole the trick of putting her leg above mine from Manganiello as well which felt awesome.
I kind of start touching her thigh here and there but I don't do much beyond that.
At some point I start reaching for her breast over her shirt while my arm is around her. She resists here and there in the most adorable way, by interlocking her hand with mine. I try it 2 or 3 more times and at some point she just lets me kind of massage her breast over her shirt. We're watching Beavis and Butthead now btw.
Later I start going in her shirt and start feeling her up under her shirt. I've never touched a girl's breast directly so I was just content with this. She continues to nuzzle up next to me and chill.
It's like 4pm and I was going to have another date at 5pm, and I got high off of my own supply and postponed my date with that girl over text. Literally 2 or 3 minutes later, the girl in my bed is telling me she has to go study and that this should be the last video. In my head I'm like NOOOO I fucked up postponing this other date aaaaaaaa. After 2 more videos and feeling her up she kind of gets up and sits. I take her shoulders and go in for a kiss and say really softly "just once". We make out for about 2-3 minutes and then she pulls back like "you said just once". I'm like alright lol.
I walk her out the door to her car and we kiss on the street for another 30 seconds.

I'm REALLY frustrated that I cancelled the date with the 5pm girl today. I was literally just so high off of cuddling and feeling up the girl from today because I never got that experience in my life until now. It's something I've wanted and been so jealous of everyone since I was like 14 years old. I actually felt like I was on drugs and it impaired my judgement. But you have to fuck up a lot and learn and keep going.

Daygame check-in
So I've done about 100~150 approaches since I've moved to Austin. Some people may say this is a wave, but since I've changed my approach interactions into having 2-3 minute conversations with most girls and trying to connect with them, my approach->date conversion rate has gone from 1/250+ to around 1/40. I have 50 contacts from my approaches so far and got dates from 4 of my contacts.

I've talked about how I think "rejection is mileage" several times, but the concept really crystallized today in a hallucinogenic dream I had after my 2pm date left. I saw myself 400 miles out on the Interstate in the desert. And my exit is 163 miles away. I could sit around (e.g. like how I did in Nashville for about 2-3 weeks) and complain about how I'm not at the exit yet, or I could keep going and see the rejections and adversity as necessary prerequisites for the positive outcomes. With some fine-tuning to my approach from my friend here in Austin and executing it over the past week, I got a pretty positive outcome. Now I've hit the point of no return. I know that getting laid is an inevitable outcome if I keep approaching and handle all the adversity along the way and not complain.

Daygame approach is high volume (50~100 girls a week) + connect with the girl by being emotionally in check with yourself + handling adversity and not complaining along the way. I think I know how to do pickup now. Pickup gets you to meet girls, get them out on a date and then get them back to your place. The main component now for actually getting laid is just learning bedroom calibration which is entirely separate, but I'll figure it out.

Nightgame
I've been going out every weekend night, but don't have much to report for it of any value. The main thing I've been doing now is honing my "aggressiveness" into learning to enjoy myself at night. When I go crazy on the dance floor now and try to be the center of attention, 3-4 girls will pull me to dance with them. Think I tried to kiss 1 or 2 girls but got deflected. But right now, nightgame is more of an outlet for me to find out what my "real" personality and energy is because now I always go out with 2 or 3 shots of alcohol in the tank, and basically act crazy. Some of my nightgame interactions have been carrying over into daygame in how I approach girls as well. I see nightgame right now as just a training ground for overshooting aggressiveness and craziness and then seeing what value some of those interactions may provide in daygame.
 
colgate said:
But she's still cuddling with me, and honestly as a guy who literally has never brought a girl back to his place and has rarely been physical with girls, I'm literally getting high and giddy off of just cuddling with her and holding hands.
Click to expand...

I still like that stuff.

Good job man seriously.
Making serious blasts of action.
If everyone did as much as you are right now they'd be doing much better.
 
MakingAComeback said:
How 'bout this for a deal

Every 50 approaches you do, I do 1?

That cool yeah?

Ur on fire bro

MAC
Click to expand...

I know this post was supportive jest, but you're in London now. You should seriously do what I told you on your thread about "x approaches a day" until you don't need to think about it. You'll get the dates you want. You'll get more than 8 dates by the end of this year. I got lucky with my first two approaches ever (I did an indirect approach before joining the forums) and the second approach I ever did with the latina girl in the hotel 3 months ago I was acting pretty genuine ended up in 2 dates. Then I got 1 (non-insta)date from my robotic spam approaching and 3 more just this weekend after adjusting my approach methodology (could have been 4 if I didn't cancel on a girl like a retard). It doesn't matter what I do. You'll seriously be killing it in around a month if you just do what I said about x+1 approaches each day, every day.
 
colgate said:
MakingAComeback said:
How 'bout this for a deal

Every 50 approaches you do, I do 1?

That cool yeah?

Ur on fire bro

MAC
Click to expand...

I know this post was supportive jest, but you're in London now. You should seriously do what I told you on your thread about "x approaches a day" until you don't need to think about it. You'll get the dates you want. You'll get more than 8 dates by the end of this year. I got lucky with my first two approaches ever (I did an indirect approach before joining the forums) and the second approach I ever did with the latina girl in the hotel 3 months ago I was acting pretty genuine ended up in 2 dates. Then I got 1 (non-insta)date from my robotic spam approaching and 3 more just this weekend after adjusting my approach methodology (could have been 4 if I didn't cancel on a girl like a retard). It doesn't matter what I do. You'll seriously be killing it in around a month if you just do what I said about x+1 approaches each day, every day.
Click to expand...

Haha you are understanding my humour better now g

We will figure this out for sure

Ur action inspires the fuck outta me

I will do what you said I will try my hardest

MAC
 
colgate said:
The main component now for actually getting laid is just learning bedroom calibration which is entirely separate, but I'll figure it out.
Click to expand...

Random corollary point I want to make about this. It's just something I've wondered for a long time but I think I'll talk about it now because it might provide some value.

You'll see a lot of guys (especially on this forum) talk about how they hooked up with e.g. the 9th girl they ever approached. And say you're literally a virgin or have very little bedroom experience, and you do a couple hundred approaches and you still haven't gotten laid yet. You might be like "wow I'm so unlucky why are these guys hardly approaching compared to me, but hooking up way more?"

One reason could obviously be your interactions are actually terrible. There are actually many guys who are already great at interactions but only have massive approach anxiety. These guys will end up having amazing approach->date conversions and go on to hookup if pushed to approach (my experience with lacroix* over the past week). But I've found that approach anxiety is one of the easier things to get over if you have basically zero experience anyway (e.g. "rejection is normal? girls have never liked me anyway. Yeah, I've been living that my whole life let's fucking go I love approach let's just get rejected woohoo!"). You can literally just get high off of getting rejected (I still do, and I think it's a pretty good mindset to have early on, since it's expected to happen most of the time even if you're "good" anyway), but be very ineffective with approach because you never bothered to figure out the additional anxiety you have with actually interacting with women whom you approach. It's certainly something I have to deal with, and I'm getting better at it now. The actual interactions have a HUGE effect on your approach->date conversions. As I said earlier, when I worked on this, I went from 1/250+ for lifetime date conversions to 1/~40 over the past week. But even if you get decent at interactions and handling the anxiety during your interactions, there's another component for effectively getting laid from approach.

Pickup itself doesn't get you laid. It's just for meeting girls and getting them to go on dates with you (even instadates). Getting laid is actually entirely separate from pickup. You could in theory, be killing it on Tinder or OLD as well (getting lots of matches and contacts) and still not hookup (I see OLD as an alternative way to get contacts and dates, still has nothing to actually do with getting laid).

If you have no actual bedroom experience, then you're probably going to be terrible at actually hooking up. If I had more experience, even I could have hooked up with my 2nd approach ever (see my early log from August). But combined with a lot of physical contact anxiety I had at the time and literally zero experience, I couldn't make it happen despite the couple hours of time I spent with her over 2 days. Maybe she wouldn't have been receptive to it anyway at the end of the day, but I will never know because I straight up didn't know how what to do to screen and escalate to find out.

The guys who hookup within less than e.g. <50 lifetime approaches have a little bit of luck perhaps, but I've observed most guys who want to start approach actually have a lot of bedroom experience already. Perhaps from ex-girlfriends or OLD. This means that once they actually get the girl on a date (or a couple dates), they end up being able to just use their instincts and experience to consummate the hookup.

I don't know who else but the only guys I've ever known who went hard with approach from literally zero have been myself, goldfish, and Manganiello (actually his log was an inspiration for me before I even joined these forums myself). It's extremely rare for guys with no experience with girls to dive straight into approach.

The main point of writing this post is that guys who start approach from zero experience should understand that they probably won't hookup for a long time even if they perceive themselves at being "decent" at pickup itself. That's due to lack of bedroom experience. It's a separate practice to learn. That's why it's actually good advice to do OLD if you have no experience if you can do it effectively just to increase the amount of dates you have, and in turn get better in the bedroom. But regardless of how you actually get girls to meet up with you, it's separate thing to work on.

Maybe an early metric for zero beginners to approach to gauge how they're doing is to look at their approach->date or even contact->date conversions, rather than approach->lay conversions. Yeah, all of us have the end goal of getting laid a lot, but looking at approach->date conversions and date->lay conversions separately is probably more helpful for gauging your own progress.

People can try to verify the above with other people's cold approach logs on this forum. I also predict that if Manganiello and goldfish start approaching again, and being more effective with it (combined with their recent OLD successes, thus helping them massively with the "actually getting laid part"), the meme that Calgary is the worst place to approach will probably dissolve.

I say this because I approached in Nashville, which is known to be a great city to approach in the US, and got terrible results (I literally got 1 non instadate out of probably 400+ approaches in that city), because I only did "high volume" without improving other aspects of my approach. My friend in Austin who used to live in Nashville was approaching only 50~100 girls a week and got laid probably with 60 girls in a year from approach there. Austin isn't magically different somehow for approach but I'm getting better results from pickup from some of the changes I made in my approaches recently and I'm literally getting about the same approach->date conversion rate as my friend now, despite still being a virgin (I had 4 dates scheduled in 4 days, and a couple girls who proposed being free on specific days later this week). For me, I just need to keep going with approach and improve my bedroom calibration over time to get laid consistently with approach.

--

*Was rereading my entire log just now like an egomaniac. You can tell lacroix is great with interacting with girls and people in general because he posted this in my log a month ago. Realized it's something that I've been doing much more on my approaches lately.:
lacroix said:
"Building an emotional connection"--I really do feel this is so important for making friends, getting girls. It's also not necessarily a contradiction with wanting to get laid a bunch and move real fast with girls, from what I've seen so far. If you can internalize "building an emotional connection"--not as a PUA trick to get into her pants, but simply as a vital part of building any sort of relationship with another human, casual or otherwise--I think you're really going to be on the right track.
Click to expand...
 
You're going to be an absolute slayer, G. Wish I had started out in Game with some of the resources and teaching you're following.

Glad that you're calibrating your approaches to Austin. Second and third tier city daygame in the US just needs to be run differently than what all the coaches teach. The context that no one explains is that the coaches all live in London, Miami, NYC, Sydney, etc. basically megacities where you can do massive approach volume and short sets.

I might write a short guide to "smaller city daygame" at some point.
 
colgate said:
colgate said:
The main component now for actually getting laid is just learning bedroom calibration which is entirely separate, but I'll figure it out.
Click to expand...

Random corollary point I want to make about this. It's just something I've wondered for a long time but I think I'll talk about it now because it might provide some value.

You'll see a lot of guys (especially on this forum) talk about how they hooked up with e.g. the 9th girl they ever approached. And say you're literally a virgin or have very little bedroom experience, and you do a couple hundred approaches and you still haven't gotten laid yet. You might be like "wow I'm so unlucky why are these guys hardly approaching compared to me, but hooking up way more?"

One reason could obviously be your interactions are actually terrible. There are actually many guys who are already great at interactions but only have massive approach anxiety. These guys will end up having amazing approach->date conversions and go on to hookup if pushed to approach (my experience with @lacroix* over the past week). But I've found that approach anxiety is one of the easier things to get over if you have basically zero experience anyway (e.g. "rejection is normal? girls have never liked me anyway. Yeah, I've been living that my whole life let's fucking go I love approach let's just get rejected woohoo!"). You can literally just get high off of getting rejected (I still do, and I think it's a pretty good mindset to have early on, since it's expected to happen most of the time even if you're "good" anyway), but be very ineffective with approach because you never bothered to figure out the additional anxiety you have with actually interacting with women whom you approach. It's certainly something I have to deal with, and I'm getting better at it now. The actual interactions have a HUGE effect on your approach->date conversions. As I said earlier, when I worked on this, I went from 1/250+ for lifetime date conversions to 1/~40 over the past week. But even if you get decent at interactions and handling the anxiety during your interactions, there's another component for effectively getting laid from approach.

Pickup itself doesn't get you laid. It's just for meeting girls and getting them to go on dates with you (even instadates). Getting laid is actually entirely separate from pickup. You could in theory, be killing it on Tinder or OLD as well (getting lots of matches and contacts) and still not hookup (I see OLD as an alternative way to get contacts and dates, still has nothing to actually do with getting laid).

If you have no actual bedroom experience, then you're probably going to be terrible at actually hooking up. If I had more experience, even I could have hooked up with my 2nd approach ever (see my early log from August). But combined with a lot of physical contact anxiety I had at the time and literally zero experience, I couldn't make it happen despite the couple hours of time I spent with her over 2 days. Maybe she wouldn't have been receptive to it anyway at the end of the day, but I will never know because I straight up didn't know how what to do to screen and escalate to find out.

The guys who hookup within less than e.g. <50 lifetime approaches have a little bit of luck perhaps, but I've observed most guys who want to start approach actually have a lot of bedroom experience already. Perhaps from ex-girlfriends or OLD. This means that once they actually get the girl on a date (or a couple dates), they end up being able to just use their instincts and experience to consummate the hookup.

I don't know who else but the only guys I've ever known who went hard with approach from literally zero have been myself, @goldfish, and @Manganiello (actually his log was an inspiration for me before I even joined these forums myself). It's extremely rare for guys with no experience with girls to dive straight into approach.

The main point of writing this post is that guys who start approach from zero experience should understand that they probably won't hookup for a long time even if they perceive themselves at being "decent" at pickup itself. That's due to lack of bedroom experience. It's a separate practice to learn. That's why it's actually good advice to do OLD if you have no experience if you can do it effectively just to increase the amount of dates you have, and in turn get better in the bedroom. But regardless of how you actually get girls to meet up with you, it's separate thing to work on.

Maybe an early metric for zero beginners to approach to gauge how they're doing is to look at their approach->date or even contact->date conversions, rather than approach->lay conversions. Yeah, all of us have the end goal of getting laid a lot, but looking at approach->date conversions and date->lay conversions separately is probably more helpful for gauging your own progress.

People can try to verify the above with other people's cold approach logs on this forum. I also predict that if @Manganiello and @goldfish start approaching again, and being more effective with it (combined with their recent OLD successes, thus helping them massively with the "actually getting laid part"), the meme that Calgary is the worst place to approach will probably dissolve.

I say this because I approached in Nashville, which is known to be a great city to approach in the US, and got terrible results (I literally got 1 non instadate out of probably 400+ approaches in that city), because I only did "high volume" without improving other aspects of my approach. My friend in Austin who used to live in Nashville was approaching only 50~100 girls a week and got laid probably with 60 girls in a year from approach there. Austin isn't magically different somehow for approach but I'm getting better results from pickup from some of the changes I made in my approaches recently and I'm literally getting about the same approach->date conversion rate as my friend now, despite still being a virgin (I had 4 dates scheduled in 4 days, and a couple girls who proposed being free on specific days later this week). For me, I just need to keep going with approach and improve my bedroom calibration over time to get laid consistently with approach.

--

*Was rereading my entire log just now like an egomaniac. You can tell lacroix is great with interacting with girls and people in general because he posted this in my log a month ago. Realized it's something that I've been doing much more on my approaches lately.:
lacroix said:
"Building an emotional connection"--I really do feel this is so important for making friends, getting girls. It's also not necessarily a contradiction with wanting to get laid a bunch and move real fast with girls, from what I've seen so far. If you can internalize "building an emotional connection"--not as a PUA trick to get into her pants, but simply as a vital part of building any sort of relationship with another human, casual or otherwise--I think you're really going to be on the right track.
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This is one of the best posts I've seen in a while.

It actually clarifies a lot of the random experiences I've had with approach in general.

Like you somehow sorted why guys exceed right a way in approach vs other guys go through the mud.


Anybody considering approach would gain a lot from paying attention to what colgate is saying here.



Bedroom game vs. approach game is a good distinction. Somehow I just had decent bedroom game from the get go. I think sales experience helped. But there's still a lot to work on I would say.
 
Manganiello said:
Bedroom game vs. approach game is a good distinction. Somehow I just had decent bedroom game from the get go.
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I'm curious as to how you think your sales experience helped you with bedroom game.

I think regardless of who you are, you might find at least *one* part of pickup easy. I'm pretty good with dates because you can literally just talk about whatever. And I've seen guys have trouble with "pulling" (being nervous, how much time should I wait? etc), and somehow I've never had it be an issue and actually find it pretty natural to try after 15-20 minutes (that's about how much time it takes to finish a coffee or donut, what else are we going to do in the cafe?) (I think I'm 1/5 for pulls, but I was never "nervous" about it). In my case I think it's just like I talk about something on the date and make it seem completely normal that we're going to my place to check it out. If anything, the girls have tried to make it weird.
 
colgate said:
Manganiello said:
Bedroom game vs. approach game is a good distinction. Somehow I just had decent bedroom game from the get go.
Click to expand...
I'm curious as to how you think your sales experience helped you with bedroom game.

I think regardless of who you are, you might find at least *one* part of pickup easy. I'm pretty good with dates because you can literally just talk about whatever. And I've seen guys have trouble with "pulling" (being nervous, how much time should I wait? etc), and somehow I've never had it be an issue and actually find it pretty natural to try after 15-20 minutes (that's about how much time it takes to finish a coffee or donut, what else are we going to do in the cafe?) (I think I'm 1/5 for pulls, but I was never "nervous" about it). In my case I think it's just like I talk about something on the date and make it seem completely normal that we're going to my place to check it out. If anything, the girls have tried to make it weird.
Click to expand...


I guess it's similar to what you said. I can pull decently well. Or if a girl is pullable I can usually get them.

So where sales transfers...

- on the pull she'll turn you down but then you reduce the seriousness of the pull just by saying "it's fine. I don't have much time either".

- mindset on the date is outcome oriented, but being flexible at the same time.

- knowing how to transition random conversation to let's go watch something at my place.

- and just a million random things like being committed to a result without being needy on the date.

- avoiding the passive attitude that some girls will be down and some won't. And going for it every single time with the assumption that she is down.

Those are somethings that I picked up in sales
first and that have helped here.
 
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