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Crimson’s Progress Log - took new pics, feedback appreciated

Think VERY HARD about it---meaning really, spend a few days thinking and journaling about it--but I think the military would be great for you.

I floated/dicked around when I was 18-25, squandering those years... it's a huge regret tbh. If I had the option of joining the military at 18 for a year and learning real discipline, I'd be far ahead of where I am now.
 
Thank you all for your input, I read everything. I’ll take some time to seriously think about it.
 
Saw Chocolate Girl again on Saturday. Only spent like 1 hour together.

Just talked and a bit of making out because of bad logistics. Everything felt pretty off tbh. She asked if I have a valentine lol. At some point I asked if shes looking for love because she mentioned it. „Actually I am, but I’m not really sure what I want, wether it be excitement love or something else“

I told her that I can’t give her love but if it is excitement that she wants, I can give her that ;) and went for the makeout. Made her give me a handjob, she called me daddy and stuff. Soon after she had to leave.

Regarding my honesty about wanting to have sex she said:

„Your honesty is liberating because now I know to not fall for you because I’m just going to get my heart broken“. Weird thing to say considering the fact that she knows I’m not looking for anything serious. Anyways that’s it, left me blue balled lol.





Also, she may as well have talked to a wall tbh (exaggerated). Didn’t really care that much about what she had to say. I guess it’s because I’m not that attracted to her. She did say that the last time we met was one of the best days she had since she moved to Germany, so that was cool to know.

I also took 5mg of Tadalafil (quarter of a pill) before we met and had quite a mean headache the day after. I guess my tolerance is not that high?

TAKE ACTION

Crimson
 
Crimson said:
I also took 5mg of Tadalafil (quarter of a pill) before we met and had quite a mean headache the day after. I guess my tolerance is not that high?
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Make sure to drink a big glass of water with it and it should solve the headache symtpoms
 
jackBruh said:
Crimson said:
I also took 5mg of Tadalafil (quarter of a pill) before we met and had quite a mean headache the day after. I guess my tolerance is not that high?
Click to expand...
Make sure to drink a big glass of water with it and it should solve the headache symtpoms
Click to expand...

Thank you very much, will do.
 
Crimson said:
Considering joining the military.
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Just a heads up: if the German military is anything like the American one, 90% of young people who join blow all of their money as soon as they get paid and leave service with no savings (or even worse, with lots of debt).

So before you join it could be helpful to set a savings goal
(ideally a set % you save from each paycheck, with 50% being fantastic, but even 20-25% being very good).

That said, I think the consistent schedule, work experience, fitness focus and masculine camaraderie of the military could be a great fit for you, but it can also be a very stressful experience, so you would be wise to continue taking care of your mental health by doing things like daily meditation, getting good quality and enough sleep every night, being kind and loving and patient with yourself, eating well, connecting with your friends or family every week, etc.
 
Manly Cockfellow said:
Crimson said:
Considering joining the military.
Click to expand...

Just a heads up: if the German military is anything like the American one, 90% of young people who join blow all of their money as soon as they get paid and leave service with no savings (or even worse, with lots of debt).

So before you join it could be helpful to set a savings goal
(ideally a set % you save from each paycheck, with 50% being fantastic, but even 20-25% being very good).

That said, I think the consistent schedule, work experience, fitness focus and masculine camaraderie of the military could be a great fit for you, but it can also be a very stressful experience, so you would be wise to continue taking care of your mental health by doing things like daily meditation, getting good quality and enough sleep every night, being kind and loving and patient with yourself, eating well, connecting with your friends or family every week, etc.
Click to expand...

The saving thing is very true, if I do end up going, I will keep this in mind. It would definitely be stressful like you said.
 
Took a baby-step towards studying for a pedagogy exam today. Treating my studies like a full-time job (as in making it my main focus) is something I’ve been thinking about and something that sounds interesting to me. It would also give me some meaning.

Also had another driving lesson today. Driving is quite scary man, so much to think about at once. And I haven’t even been on the highway which scares me even more (although you pretty much just drive straight). Welp, there’s only one way to get my drivers license.

I also have a therapy session tomorrow.




Note:

Waking up at 5AM everyday now, instead of 6. Going to sleep soon, it’s 10.30 P.M.

Also texted an old friend who is in a boxing gym and asked him if I can join the session on Friday.


TAKE ACTION

Crimson
 
Woah, what a day!

WOKE UP AT 5AM. Actually stayed in bed until 6.30AM, but committed to staying awake. I then took a morning shower and studied a bit after. Went back to sleep and made myself proper breakfast when I woke up. Then I had to go to my therapy session.

Unfortunately I had a fight with my father again on the way out the door, but then just ejected and went off to therapy (I might go into more detail about the therapy session in my mental health log).

When I came back, I ACTUALLY KEPT THE STUDY/SLEEP CYCLE UP. Nothing major regarding the studying, but way better than nothing.

Then it was time for another driving lesson. I dread it tbh. Made quite a lot of mistakes and was nervous throughout the whole session. After I was done I opened up about my fear of driving to my driving teacher, and he reassured me that absolutely nothing can happen as long as he’s in the car with me.

It’s 9:03PM, going to sleep at 10, still got calories to hit.


TAKE ACTION

Crimson
 
Sup bro, good job on keeping up your log. Nice to see things are working out for you.

May I ask where you where you live in Germany? Is it Berlin? Ofc, if it's not a problem to you. Might be dropping by there soon.
 
Crimson said:
When I came back, I ACTUALLY KEPT THE STUDY/SLEEP CYCLE UP. Nothing major regarding the studying, but way better than nothing.
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LET'S GOOOO CRIMSON!!!!
 
Red said:
Crimson said:
When I came back, I ACTUALLY KEPT THE STUDY/SLEEP CYCLE UP. Nothing major regarding the studying, but way better than nothing.
Click to expand...

LET'S GOOOO CRIMSON!!!!
Click to expand...

Fuck yeaaah bro, I saw your post on you wanting to focus on your studies and it inspired me a lot.
 
Fuckboy Aspirant said:
Sup bro, good job on keeping up your log. Nice to see things are working out for you.

May I ask where you where you live in Germany? Is it Berlin? Ofc, if it's not a problem to you. Might be dropping by there soon.
Click to expand...

Oh cool, I’ll hit you in the PM‘s.
 
Woke up at 5AM again and started my German homework. My preparation resulted in me being able to raise my hand multiple times during class. After that class I went back home and did chores. I then had another class, in which I also performed well (did the exercises and raised my hand).

Also ordered two books that I need to read for my German class. After school I slept and then went to the gym. Came back home and hit my calories, now I’m at this point of the day, it’s 9:09PM. I still have some reading to do for English class tomorrow, I’ll do a little bit of that and then go to sleep at 10.

Will pick up the two ordered books tomorrow. Also I texted my friend who’s in a boxing gym that I‘m going to join in the next session. I got my first boxing session tomorrow! I‘m scared lol, but it will toughen me up, no doubt.


TAKE ACTION

Crimson
 
Woke up at 6AM today. I forgot to edit my alarm, I was so mad. Then I remembered Andy’s article „Stop being a cunt to yourself“, so I turned my anger towards god (lol). „Oh, you thought I was going to quit because of this? Wrong!“.

Did everything I had to do in the morning and then headed to school. Was very productive and raised my hand multiple times in all classes. I even got praise from one of the teachers.

She said: „I’m so glad that you’re participating in class again“ (I basically didn’t do ANYTHING for half a semester). So that’s good.

Came home from school and went to sleep. Then it was time for my first boxing session.






First Boxing Session:

It was VERY exhausting. And very humbling.

Started off with some warmup running and then I was put in the beginner group. Learned the proper stance and stuff. The gym seems to be quite militant which I like a lot. Just the right environment for someone like me😎

Then we had to put on boxing gloves. Me and another guy didn’t have any (my friend didn’t tell me we had to bring them). So we had to do boxing runs for the rest of the session (loooool).

The session was finished off with some jump ropes and stretching. Man, some of the guys in there are younger than me, but they all seem to be 2X the man I am. Makes sense, since they’re so used to getting punched in the face.

Yeah, it was exhausting, but a lot of fun. I’ll only be able to go once a week because of basketball, which is unfortunate, I want to have a actual fight at some point. But let’s take a step back and learn the basics first!








Got my pedagogy exam tomorrow. Not optimally prepared, but better than not being prepared at all (which was my default for the last 6 months).


TAKE ACTION

Crimson
 
Crimson said:
Man, some of the guys in there are younger than me, but they all seem to be 2X the man I am. Makes sense, since they’re so used to getting punched in the face.
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boxing is by far one of the most humbling things i've done

really looking forward to how this goes for you
 
Yeah man, boxing/kickboxing IMO one of the best things you can do. I was in and out of several gyms up until around 20years old, broke my nose a few times and had tons of concussions but the benefits are innumerable. You just start to carry yourself differently and feel like you can handle anything. You’ll notice random guys are way less likely to fuck with you too.

Also as far as getting gassed/humbled that’s totally normal but if you can get yourself in there more than once a week you’ll quickly get used to it.
 
Paid Renegade said:
Yeah man, boxing/kickboxing IMO one of the best things you can do. I was in and out of several gyms up until around 20years old, broke my nose a few times and had tons of concussions but the benefits are innumerable. You just start to carry yourself differently and feel like you can handle anything. You’ll notice random guys are way less likely to fuck with you too.

Also as far as getting gassed/humbled that’s totally normal but if you can get yourself in there more than once a week you’ll quickly get used to it.
Click to expand...

For sure, I can tell that there’s a lot of benefits. Excited to see how this goes.
 
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