GN's Progress Log - Self-Love Arc: A bit better this week + Physique Update

[Trèfle]

Don't worry too much about being unable to make any physical contact on your first few dates, was not able to make any on my first ones too and now it's becoming second nature - same with the overall flirty vibe, it'll come with experience, it'll become natural to you. Confidence really goes a long way there, you'll get some as you get more experienced

 

[G.N]

Don't worry too much about being unable to make any physical contact on your first few dates, was not able to make any on my first ones too and now it's becoming second nature - same with the overall flirty vibe, it'll come with experience, it'll become natural to you. Confidence really goes a long way there, you'll get some as you get more experienced

Fair point, I have found escalating a little easier with alcohol in my system but I don't want to become reliant on it. I am getting the experience, that is what matters.

 

[G.N]

10/21

I kinda almost forgot about my date today. The traffic and noise was pretty crazy since it was gameday here and this game is one of the more hyped ones of the season. It was with this Indian girl, I follow her on insta idk how we met before. She showed up a little bit late to the boba shop, don't blame her since she lives on a farther side of campus. We both just ordered water, thank god cuz I didn't want another thing showing up on my transactions list.

We actually had some chemistry. Conversation was fun, still kept my voice low pitched and more masculine sounding but I allowed myself to feel more excitement. We talked about hobbies, we also both had the same dog breeds so sharing funny experiences and stories was nice. I do remember when this date was in the planning stage she said she wouldn't be able to be there long, initially I was thinking that kills any chance of a lay, but I said fuck it lets go for it anyways. I went to the bathroom and once I got out I said lets head out. On the way I pitched going back to my place to chill.

We got back, sat on my couch, I got myself next to her. I put my arm around her as we were talking. Eventually after enough eye contact we started kissing, my mind went "ayyoo". After a bit we decided to take it to my room. We went back to my room she looked around a little commenting on my room like my posters. Then we got back to making out. It was a pretty hot session, she was on top of me and grinding a little. I took her shirt off and was alluding to having sex. She said "not tonight, not the kind of person who does that on a first date", we just continued kissing. I was making allusions to it still, talking about how she was teasing me with the grinding. Still got hit with the "not tonight". We kept going till both of our mouths got dry so we just had water. I got a call from my brother and I think she had to go somewhere too with a friend so she put her clothes back on and left my place.

Overall good experience, a little bummed no lay but its all good. Hopefully I see her again.

Also that girl from yesterday unmatched me. Meh, idc.

Got another date lined up for tommorow.

 

[G.N]

10/22+23

I just met the student who I will be tutoring for Ochem. I am getting paid like 40/hr to help him out. It definitely seems like he is struggling with his fundamentals and his professor isn't giving his students the tools to succeed like mine did so I feel really fucking bad. I basically wrote him the cheatsheets my professor gave me when I took the class and basically broke down practice questions into their simplest parts. We went about 20 minutes overtime but luckily I was compensated for it. He had a quiz Tuesday so we planned a Monday session.

I had my third date of the weekend yesterday with this Arabic girl who was into martial arts. From her profile she had an ehh face but a nice body. When I met her in person though she looked to be carrying more weight. I felt very disappointed. The date went okay, conversation was decent but not as good as with the girl prior. About a moment before I was about to pitch going to my place she said she had stuff to do. I offered to walk her to where she needed to go but she said she was meeting some friends. I said I would walk her halfway. On our way there she said she thought "the vibes were off" during out date so we decided we won't see each other again. Ah well. I feel really drained after that three date stretch.

On the bright side I have been doing decent with girl #2, we planned to see each other in the next two weeks cuz the coming week she had plans, but this time she is coming straight to my place.

I also scheduled a date with this one girl from Bumble, she has no upper body pics in her profile which could be a bad sign. Fingers crossed my premonition doesn't come true. I asked for her phone number too but she said to keep the convo on Bumble, since I am a newbie I figure this doesn't warrant an unmatch just yet since we still confirmed plans, but I said we would exchange numbers once we met on Friday.

I also matched with this one girl who is super far away, but she was really intrigued by the fact I dance Salsa. IDK if we will even meet up but I hope we do cuz she is pretty cute. If she agrees to a date with me Ill probably take her to the venue I usually pull up to for Salsa, make the drive worth her while. Coffee feels too low effort for this one. Though even if we schedule something the flake rate is very high due to distance.

I honestly may not schedule any dates for Sundays because I prefer to just work out, then go make dinner for myself. I haven't properly mealprepped the past two weeks which makes life inconvenient. If I have a date I have to rush my gym routine and can't prepare dinner unless the date ends early. Either that or what I can do is if I do schedule Sundays, Ill wake up earlier, gym earlier, and then mealprep after the date. Better yet if she comes over I make food anyways, give her a bit, and then we make out or fuck.

Monday rolled around and I actually woke up pretty good, I studied in the morning. I am beginning to slowly understand Physical Biochem a bit more, or at least the current unit. I have to take it really slow though and only work on it in hours where my brain is in peak condition. So around morning or early afternoon.

My client came back for another session. I helped him more with the material that will be on his quiz. I am still again starstruck by how cryptic his teacher is. So I basically ripped a cheatsheet from a website again and airdropped it to him. We did the same thing I did last time where I first tried to break it down for him. I basically have to get his brain going in order to make him connect the dots.

The side hustle is great for me and I am getting out of my burnout to finish off the end of the semester properly. My only issue right now is I think I tie so much of my self worth to women and the quality at which I can pull. My current profile is really weak and now that its getting colder. More people are wearing jackets, so my profile is going to get weaker. I got some more money in my acc from tutoring so now I am just gonna go and spend it on fashion stuff. I need to overhaul my t-shirts since a lot of them do not fit well at all now. I just ordered four shirts from Banana Republic in white, burngundy, black, and charcoal.

 

[G.N]

So this one girl from Hinge I met last week said we linking this Friday at 8PM. By the way the conversation is going she is DTF. We have been dirty talking all week. My only worry now is if she asks if its my first time. I have heard things about some girls finding a lack of experience a turnoff. I was considering if she asked just lying and saying I had sex a long time ago but even that could be a turnoff. I can't really win here tbh.

I am pretty excited ngl but have some looming anxiety. Mainly around getting hard, not too worried about finishing quickly as I can just eat her out/finger her and recharge for more rounds. Plus condoms allow me to last longer. In the past I trained with some fleshlights and I could last up to 15 minutes with those even raw, however a real person feels different from a fleshlight. I have a few cock rings to enhance erections (adds girth) but idk how she will feel about me using those.

Any tips to have a good first time?

 

[G.N]

10/24-10/28

Probably going to turn this into a log I update twice a week unless I have specific questions I won't make a separate thread for. I also may only just talk about significant updates that actually mean a lot to my goals like approaches, fashion purchases, feedback, etc.

Overall this week has been weird. My tutoring client told me his professor added more topics to the weekly quiz than what was covered on his practice. I was absolutely pissed as I think his professor is just deliberately fucking him over. He also moves incredibly fast so my client is just getting dogpiled. At this point I think I have to double as a teacher rather than a tutor. Though on one end since his prof doesn't try to make the material easy to understand, I will since my prof always broke it down for us. I just hope his grades improve. I don't want his mom to think I am scamming them if they are paying me and his grades stay low. I say this every session, that everything I teach him will barely help unless he does a shit ton of practice problems. My dad has a saying for this exact thing: "Don't learn the tricks of the trade, learn the trade". That is how I got good at Ochem. We met Sunday night around 8:30-10:30 at my apartment's lounge. I generally wouldn't do this as I like to relax Sunday nights but I do need that money. Two hours gets me 80$ so I can probably buy the boots sooner.

I did manage to get in 5 approaches at least too.

Dating Apps:

Bumble:

That cute girl I matched with on Bumble who is far away FT me on Thursday. We talked for like two hours even though she said she wanted to keep it short. I had a good feeling after we talked, said we would talk again. On Saturday though said she didn't want to pursue anything anymore because of how far apart we were and the fact she is so busy (she works two jobs).

I realize I got too attached to her due to my scarcity mentality plus not having a great profile. I think I got such meh quality girls that once an attractive one pulled up I didn't know how to act. The same thing happened with a girl this morning I matched with. She was a cute blonde with blue eyes. I thought it was initially a bot but I ran a reverse image search and it turns out she wasn't. No snap or insta in the bio either. She messaged me and her texts were like mini paragraphs asking me about what I was studying and all. Thought this was a good sign and so I asked if she wanted to get boba tommorow. Its been like 5 hours and no response. Ill give it till the 24 hour mark, try to send a followup and if nothing ill just unmatch.

This other girl I matched with on Bumble I was supposed to meet Friday said she was too busy so we rescheduled to Saturday same time. Then she told me she wanted to reschedule to afternoon and go pumpkin picking instead of coffee. I said I was too busy to make it and said we can still meet for coffee. She said she wouldn't be able to. Atp I was very annoyed and unmatched her. I am not putting up with that shit.

Hinge:

I matched with some cute girls on Hinge this week but for the life of me I cannot get these conversations to continue. On Bumble the protocol is so simple since the women just send some shit like "Hey" or "Hi". I just keep it to first asking what they are up to, then pitch the date, and boom usually easy setup.

This doesn't work as well on Hinge or Tinder, at least to my knowledge. I could just be theorycelling but Hinge and Tinder girls probably require a little banter before setting up. Ive matched with like 5 girls on Hinge in two weeks but only two ever responded to me after they sent a text. Not to mention they all are at least cute or pretty cute. One girl I was having good back and forth with I managed to pitch a time, but she said "no promises". Can't stand that unseriousness so I said I would like to get a time that we can both be present. Didn't get a response, she probably got annoyed with me actually taking this shit seriously unlike her. Fuck that, don't need that bullshit.

I decided I will put my Hinge on pause for now, my profile has too many weak links and the square compression has fucked over almost all of my photos. Hinge has way more Asians on it than Tinder or Bumble so realistically I could make this app do decent work for me right? The girls also seem less like the kind I see on Tinder. Once I swiped through the super low quality unattractive girls the rest are pretty decent.

Tinder:

God this app is the fucking worst. Literally never get quality matches on this app, but I understand though my profile is lousy but at the same time do real attractive women even exist on this app? I feel like I am seeing way too many bots. I also wonder if average to cute girls exist here too, feels like every girl is like super attractive and I have no chance. I met my therapist and told her about how the apps mess with my head. Hell I literally made the same analogy I told foducossy42 to her and she said "oh, so windowshopping", and I am like yes. She seems to understand my use of the apps as she met her husband on Bumble.

I have been told though Tinder defo requires boosts to be usable. Hell Andy said he got a majority of his lays there from boosts. So Ill just update the profile, maybe delete to reset, then do some boosts.


In more general about the apps I went to another Salsa night this Friday to try and see if I can get a social pic. The party itself felt really lame this time ngl, not nearly as many people as usual. There were these two cute girls who were friends I was talking to. One was a blonde and she said she has never danced salsa before so I figured I would try to teach her what I know. It was a fun time. My plan was for them to get comfortable with me so towards the end of the night we could get a picture. Then hopefully I could get either ones number or take one home. I mainly cared about a good picture ngl.

Sadly they left early and since there weren't as many people, there were not many cute girls either. I don't think anyone had a DSLR either. Now that I think about it, I only saw some people w/ DSLRs at the last party two weeks ago because it was a collaborative event hosted by a lot of people involved in dance, not just the people who run the venue.

Getting a social pic or a dance pic is my biggest challenge. The facial expressions and fashion is very fixable and I am taking lots of action to do so, but I have a strong feeling a lack of social photos is hurting my profile as I look like a loner. All my other social pics I just look like shit in. Im at a loss right now, only real idea i have right now is asking this one girl I cold approached who I text time to time if she can help me shoot a dance pic. Even if she agrees finding a location to shoot is a challenge.

End of the dating apps rant-ish


My biggest issue I have been facing this week is my self esteem surrounding my hair. I think once I switched minoxidil brands my hair started shedding again, its making my hair less dense and has set my progress back quite a bit. I called my pharmacy to see if they can switch it back after I talked with my doctor. Its been about five months into my treatments and I haven't seen a lot of results. There is some improvement but its not a ton. I still look absolutely HORRID in bathroom lighting. But tbf its not even just my hair, so does the rest of my body. Hell when I turn on my closet light but turn off bathroom lights I look way better. My muscles pop more, meanwhile I look like a fatass in bathroom lighting. My face also looks worse, it looks round as shit meanwhile more neutral lightings show my jaw in a more positive look.

I also told my doctor I reduced my fin dose due to sides to EOD, he said I should try 0.5 mg per day instead since he thinks the gap in between allows the DHT to resume some activity. Ill try it but I am worried itll fuck over my libido, especially since I got a girl coming over this Friday and she is DTF. I don't want to disappoint her. If it does happen I may just have to be honest and say my meds are fucking me over and its not her.

At the same time more I think about it more likely itll happen. I may just keep my dose still at 1mg EOD to at least keep my sex drive mostly intact, Ill save the experiment for the week after.

I just want my hair to be normal again. I wish I listened to my mom when she told me she noticed some thinning last year. I probably wouldn't have been in this mess if I listened.

 

[Foducossy]

So Ill just update the profile, maybe delete to reset, then do some boosts.

Get platinum and avoid the boosts unless you can afford it.

Those boosts are gonna run you hundreds a month if you aren’t careful. I’d rather you focus on fashion (channel the money towards that) and photos than boosting a weak profile.

 

[Foducossy]

I am worried itll fuck over my libido, especially since I got a girl coming over this Friday and she is DTF. I don't want to disappoint her.

Don’t care about disappointing her. That is going to fuck with your head more than fin will weaken your dick. You won’t perform if you’re anxious.

Focus on being in the moment with her, appreciating her body, touching her etc. Before you even kiss her, build up the tension. That should help you. It helped me.

 

[Foducossy]

I just want my hair to be normal again. I wish I listened to my mom when she told me she noticed some thinning last year. I probably wouldn't have been in this mess if I listened.

I’m on fin too. And I was very late to it because my mom noticed and she suggested some stupid non medical treatment and I KNEW about fin but stupidly didn’t go for it. For at least a year or maybe more. a lot of the hair has grown back now. Just an anecdote. But try not to worry too much about things you can’t control.

 

[G.N]

So Ill just update the profile, maybe delete to reset, then do some boosts.

Get platinum and avoid the boosts unless you can afford it.

Those boosts are gonna run you hundreds a month if you aren’t careful. I’d rather you focus on fashion (channel the money towards that) and photos than boosting a weak profile.

Platinum isn’t even a consideration until I get my profile to be really fucking good.

All my money is going into fashion right now. I’ve spent like 200$ in the last week and probably gonna blow another 100$ on the boots. I need a pair of black jeans and gray jeans too and that can run me like 80-200 bucks too.

 

[G.N]

I am worried itll fuck over my libido, especially since I got a girl coming over this Friday and she is DTF. I don't want to disappoint her.

Don’t care about disappointing her. That is going to fuck with your head more than fin will weaken your dick. You won’t perform if you’re anxious.

Focus on being in the moment with her, appreciating her body, touching her etc. Before you even kiss her, build up the tension. That should help you. It helped me.

Fair point, you’d think I’d be worried about nutting fast. Personally I don’t give a shit if I do since there is always round 2, plus she is staying the night.

We’ve built up some tension already, the past week has just been nothing but dirty talk. I’m trying not to give her unrealistic expectations though.

 

[Foducossy]

Fair point, you’d think I’d be worried about nutting fast.

I was worried but turns out I’m just not that kinda guy. You never know.

Btw just try to mentally prepare yourself that she might flake last minute. This shit happens a lot. And when you’ve dirty talked a lot ahead of time, girls sometimes chicken out as it becomes too real.

I don’t want you to be disappointed. If it happens once it’ll happen again. Just keep that in mind.

 

[Foducossy]

Platinum isn’t even a consideration until I get my profile to be really fucking good.

Plat is the cost of boosting 3 times.

Also every single girl who lists their snapchat in their bio is a bot. EVERY one of them.

 

[G.N]

I just want my hair to be normal again. I wish I listened to my mom when she told me she noticed some thinning last year. I probably wouldn't have been in this mess if I listened.

I’m on fin too. And I was very late to it because my mom noticed and she suggested some stupid non medical treatment and I KNEW about fin but stupidly didn’t go for it. For at least a year or maybe more. a lot of the hair has grown back now. Just an anecdote. But try not to worry too much about things you can’t control.

I could just be a late responder. My doctor said he had clients that took a year to respond to the same treatments I am on. I also reintroduced derma stamping as I think that’s what helped me reduce the size of that big thin spot I had a few months ago.

I’m doing what I can, right now I’ll just try and switch my brand back and see if that fixes things.

 

[G.N]

Fair point, you’d think I’d be worried about nutting fast.

I was worried but turns out I’m just not that kinda guy. You never know.

Btw just try to mentally prepare yourself that she might flake last minute. This shit happens a lot. And when you’ve dirty talked a lot ahead of time, girls sometimes chicken out as it becomes too real.

I don’t want you to be disappointed. If it happens once it’ll happen again. Just keep that in mind.

Yeah she could. Though initially we planned this coming Sunday (not today), she actually asked me if we could move it to the coming Friday instead. We will see what happens.

 

[G.N]

Platinum isn’t even a consideration until I get my profile to be really fucking good.

Plat is the cost of boosting 3 times.

Also every single girl who lists their snapchat in their bio is a bot. EVERY one of them.

I thought a boost was like 8$ each and 6 months platinum is like 160$ for the web version? Honestly may try just one month when I get my profile to where I want it.

And that’s a fair point, Tinder has too many bots. I just wish the company would do SOMETHING about it but bots being there seems to be good for their business so doubt they will do anything.

 

[Foducossy]

I thought a boost was like 8$ each and 6 months platinum is like 160$ for the web version? Honestly may try just one month when I get my profile to where I want it.

160 divided by 6 is 27 bucks a month so boosting 3 times is equivalent to plat. And plat has been better IMO.

 

[G.N]

I thought a boost was like 8$ each and 6 months platinum is like 160$ for the web version? Honestly may try just one month when I get my profile to where I want it.

160 divided by 6 is 27 bucks a month so boosting 3 times is equivalent to plat. And plat has been better IMO.

So does having plat just make your profile a priority by the app? I do know the app is generally more usable w/ platinum cuz unlimited daily likes, see ur likes, travel mode, etc.

 

[Foducossy]

160 divided by 6 is 27 bucks a month so boosting 3 times is equivalent to plat. And plat has been better IMO.

So does having plat just make your profile a priority by the app? I do know the app is generally more usable w/ platinum cuz unlimited daily likes, see ur likes, travel mode, etc.

You’re paying for priority

Also if you boost you’re gonna want at least gold to see your likes

 

[G.N]

So does having plat just make your profile a priority by the app? I do know the app is generally more usable w/ platinum cuz unlimited daily likes, see ur likes, travel mode, etc.

You’re paying for priority

Also if you boost you’re gonna want at least gold to see your likes

True, I also did find a browser extension which uncovers them anyways but it can run the risk of a shadowban