GN's Progress Log - Self-Love Arc: A bit better this week + Physique Update

[kratjeuh]

Here’s some help because you never really understood the assignment pancake gave you.

No need to quote me and give me a long ass response. You either take the advise, spent some hours investigating these guys or you completely ignore this post. Up to you

 

[G.N]

Here’s some help because you never really understood the assignment pancake gave you.

No need to quote me and give me a long ass response. You either take the advise, spent some hours investigating these guys or you completely ignore this post. Up to you

What is wrong with what I bought?

The point of this mall trip was to get a good base. I only had like 5 shirts, 2 pants, and one pair of boots in my wardrobe that were good or okay. Now I have more stuff.

But Ill take a look at these guys

 

[Manly Cockfellow]

@Manly Cockfellow feel free to give suggestions to me on if this routine is good or I need to move around, add, or delete exercises.

Rather than critique your current routine if after a month or two you aren't happy with your physique/progress I recommend you do this one:

https://www.aworkoutroutine.com/the-muscle-building-workout-routine/

because it really is the best I've come across, especially for upper body

 

[Adrizzle]

What is wrong with what I bought?

He didn’t say there was anything wrong. I don’t think there is anything wrong with what you bought. But if you spend sometime looking at style you’re going to be able to pick out things better for you.

Trench is cool but the fit is bad. Looks to big on ya. Worth also thinking about the context of these clothes and how you’re going to wear them. Would you buy the trench for winter and then layer something underneath, then it’s worth having it a bit bigger. Is your climate not that hot and you’re going to wear a t shirt underneath?

 

[G.N]

What is wrong with what I bought?

He didn’t say there was anything wrong. I don’t think there is anything wrong with what you bought. But if you spend sometime looking at style you’re going to be able to pick out things better for you.

Trench is cool but the fit is bad. Looks to big on ya. Worth also thinking about the context of these clothes and how you’re going to wear them. Would you buy the trench for winter and then layer something underneath, then it’s worth having it a bit bigger. Is your climate not that hot and you’re going to wear a t shirt underneath?

Thats a fair point, this trip was just to help me get essentials. Trench coats really only work in the winter or late fall. My brother told me the same thing though that the fit looked off.

Its getting pretty cold here, but I wear t-shirts under regardless lol. Having good fitting t-shirts helps me not look fat. I used to think baggier shirts were better for hiding gyno but really they make the problem worse cuz I just look fatter.

Getting better at fashion is a long ass road and I think I just need to embrace that. My brother took like 2-3 years to get to the point he gets looks in public.

 

[G.N]

11/27

Daily Actions:

->Approach 1 Woman: No
->No Porn/PMO: Yes
->Sugar intake: 33g
->Weekly Gym: 0/3
->Today's Calories: 1450 cal
->Today's Protein Intake: 114/130 g
->Shut of Electronics by 10:30: No

Notes:

Trying something new

 

[G.N]

This part is technically updates for yesterdays notes but I really needed to sleep last night so I didn't add much.

I went home for the break for about 5-6 days. Aside from whatever else I talked about I thought it would be interesting to experiment with the apps a little bit. I wasn't really takin them seriously at all and had to delete them off my phone time to time so my parents wouldn't begin interrogating me and then giving me a lecture.

But heres the interesting shit. So in the midwest it took me like 3-4 weeks to get 7 matches on Hinge. Meanwhile in California (I set my location to SF) on Hinge, I got 7 matches IN SIX DAYS. Not to mention these girls were much better quality too. Crazy part is I literally just liked a prompt, didn't say anything else. I always sent messages in the Midwest so maybe that is hurting my chances? I attached some pics below, I guess its a marker of progress for me considering my initial match quality was ass to average. Ik they aint as quality as some of yall's matches but this was enough to give me a temporary ego boost. Like dude if I can get this with a substandard profile imagine what a few months of grinding and game can get me. From what I have been told about dating in SF is its overwhelmed by tech bros most women are sick of so I guess my profile is a breath of fresh air.

Sadly the big issue with these girls is my logistics are straight fucking ass. I have a car but i live at home, and most of these girls are kinda far. Plus only times i can maybe see them are over break. This one cute slim thick white girl I matched with lives like 1.5 hours by car from me. I can't drive that far since I just got my car recently and I haven't practiced going further. My ass is still afraid of driving on the highway.

 

[G.N]

This part is technically updates for yesterdays notes but I really needed to sleep last night so I didn't add much.

I went home for the break for about 5-6 days. Aside from whatever else I talked about I thought it would be interesting to experiment with the apps a little bit. I wasn't really takin them seriously at all and had to delete them off my phone time to time so my parents wouldn't begin interrogating me and then giving me a lecture.

But heres the interesting shit. So in the midwest it took me like 3-4 weeks to get 7 matches on Hinge. Meanwhile in California (I set my location to SF) on Hinge, I got 7 matches IN SIX DAYS. Not to mention these girls were much better quality too. Like more girls with a body type I am attracted to (slim thick or curvy). Crazy part is I literally just liked a prompt, didn't say anything else. I always sent messages in the Midwest so maybe that is hurting my chances? I attached some pics below with some coverage, I guess its a marker of progress for me considering my initial match quality was ass to average. A little more proud of myself too. Ik they aint as quality as some of yall's matches but this was enough to give me a temporary ego boost. Like dude if I can get this with a substandard profile imagine what a few months of grinding and game can get me. From what I have been told about dating in SF is its overwhelmed by tech bros most women are sick of so I guess my profile is a breath of fresh air.

Sadly the big issue with these girls is my logistics are straight fucking ass. I have a car but i live at home, and most of these girls are kinda far. Plus only times i can maybe see them are over break. This one cute slim thick white girl I matched with lives like 1.5 hours by car from me. I can't drive that far since I just got my car recently and I haven't practiced going further. My ass is still afraid of driving on the highway.

 

[G.N]

Always try to find a way. I even had some girls i fucked in the past literally driving to another state to fuck them. Not even kidding by the way. Call me desperate but i wanted to win. And it wasn't even a girl that was hot. It was still a really good time. I wanted to fuck that bad.

One time i went to new mexico from colorado to see some chick from an app. Drove like 7 fucking hours or something. Got a hotel and bottle plus i had edibles and got turned up all night and fucked all night. She left in the morning and i was still high as fuck and couldn't find my keys or wallet or something in the hotel after she left and started flipping the fuck out that i was now high as fuck trapped in new mexico. But i found my shit and then went home.

She later drove up at some point to come see me and stay with me and fuck some more before heading back home. Didn't see her again after that. Was still good times though.

Now i just need to learn to be this serious about cold approach lol.

I had this cute blue eyed brunette who seemed keen on going on a date with me but she was two hours away. Her schedule was also really busy (she works two jobs). Icl though it sounds like a fun date to show someone around a city they are not from. This was in the midwest and I don't have a car here but with a car its like 2 hours. I could take a few buses but it would be like 5 hours. I had a free weekend the weekend I told her I wanted to meet and tbh I would be fine with it but my parents again have my location (immigrant family things), but I could always just say I went with my friend for an event and hell that isn't even a total lie.

For my ego sake I honestly could be cool with driving the 1.5 hours. As I mentioned an issue is that the new car is technically a hand me down from my dad and me and my brother share it because a family member totaled my old car. I only just recently learned how to drive it. The highway thing and my parents not being okay with me driving so far is the biggest barrier.

I could just say me and my friends are taking a day trip to where I am going to meet the girl and that my friend is driving. But what could always happen is that they will say "oh we can drop you to your friends place".

Highways are probably not as tough as I think since I just have to be very attentive. Plus this new car handles higher speeds like its nothing. My old car rattled at anything above 40mph and was very scary. The two times I went on the highway my dad was freaking out and I think once i calmed down i was fine. I can get through many things as long as I am calm.

What would you suggest I do if she still wants to meet with me? Cuz we have had some back and forth and she said she is home (1.5 hours away) all break, she isn't going back to uni (35 mins away) until after winter break and ill be long gone back in the Midwest. Part of me thinks she is giving up on meeting me, but her bio says she "wants to take things slow", frankly idc cuz while i am looking for casual if I find a gf its great, that too in my home state so long distance won't be the most insane issue.

She takes a while to respond to my texts. So we will see. If she does respond should I say I can drive to her? And if she agrees what then? To make it so I can do it like dealing with my parents and whatnot.

Worst worst case scenario I can have my brother drive me since he is more experienced with the new car, but the distance and my parents are still a problem.

 

[G.N]

Also unrelated completely but why can't I just get over the fact I find white girls attractive?

I kinda know the answer, because I am afraid of being called a white-worshipper, even though I am not. I may be whitewashed as fuck but I still care about my roots.

I think it also doesn't help I find girls of my race the least attractive generally. I have met a lot of attractive brown girls though so I am not swearing them off.

 

[G.N]

Just really depends. If a girl is super down you can honestly go a distance to bang. I would never do it at this point cause I'm broke and have already done it tons of times, have nothing to gain from it, and have limited time / money that needs to be invested on more important shit to get better results. But when I was learning it actually helped me alot. I had tons of insane fun adventures doing shit like that and don't regret them either.

I don't know if I'd drive or travel far just to try to fuck in my car or a bathroom something. Depends if she has a place you can chill with her at and fuck at. Or if you can get a hotel (if you have the $). Or if you're cunning enough to get her to pay for it. I'd probably also screen hard to make sure she isn't a flake and is pretty DTF. But that's my thoughts on it.

Obv over time work on changing this situation too if you're serious about success.

Call me sappy but I only cared about casual sex here in the Midwest since I know I am leaving for a long time once I graduate. Ill be in Cali for a long time to come since family support and a job here would pay far more than most other places, so I am open to anything whether its casual or long term. I can "see where it goes", and I just want to enjoy dating and meeting new girls as well.

Four years ago I wanted out of California because I hated high school which made me bitter with where I lived. Now that I have matured I realized California has big flaws but I like living there, it was just high school that was bad and that time is meaningless now.

Ill work to change my situation, once I go back for my masters I can talk with my parents about living situation. They think it is better I commute to save money. Likely though I will probably get favor for the car since I actually need it to commute. I don't want to be a commuter student though as it makes not just dating harder, but also making friends.

Since she says home is there, likely she doesn't have her own place. Ill have to figure that out. Sex is no guarantee on a first date. But since she is my type I can wait.

I could just be talking out of my ass right now, because who knows if she will even respond to my latest text or if she has given up on this.

 

[G.N]

May try that edible sex thing one day if its as good as you say, though i don't wanna get hooked on it as I have sometimes struggled with addiction to sugar and am currently still tackling porn addiction.

 

[G.N]

11/28

Daily Actions:

->Approach 1 Woman: No
->No Porn/PMO: Yes
->Sugar intake: 37g
->Weekly Gym: 1/3
->Today's Calories: 1729 cal
->Today's Protein Intake: 138/130 g
->Shut of Electronics by 10:30: No

Notes:

I think the texture of my hair has been improving a ton more as of late. The curls at the front of my hair are returning and now when I look at my hair I think that it actually looks and feels curly. It is really hard to track otherwise though if the meds I am taking are actually improving my hair or not. When I look at older pictures my hair has significantly less texture. I also have a negative bias to focus on my flaws even if I have strengths. Like there is still a thin spot on the top of my head I can kinda see but I usually have to look pretty close to see it. More I look at it I remember most people probably will not notice. Only lightings I look bad in now are bathrooms and super bright fitting rooms. I was obsessing heavily over that barely noticeable spot all of yesterday. Idk why it always happens when I think my hair is getting better, I see an area that still needs to see more regrowth, then I get down on myself and feel like shit thinking the meds aren't doing anything. Most likely i just started responding to the meds after nearly 6 months and it will take a year or more to see insane results if I even do.

If I truly have hair on lock now, then that only leaves gyno as a major physical flaw. And if I get that in the summer and my hair still on lock, then I basically got nearly no major physical flaws for dating.

Pictures: The floral shirt one is from August 2023, this is right around when the min and fin shed ended. The other pic is from yesterday.

I have been really feeling the new bomber I got from Trueclassic, also the shirts fit amazingly and show off the pump post-gym (pic below). My brother likes the fit I attached and his opinion is very valuable to me as he gets a lot of attention for his style. We also have similar boots but his are doc martens, he even suggested I buy some.

Now that I have a white shirt and sneakers (still needa pick them up and try them on), I can do more fits. I wanna try a white shirt with the green jacket i have and proper black jeans, hopefully the fit should be better since they aren't loose. When it comes to jeans i only trust Levis and jcrew, the other brands can go kick rocks.

Icl looking at the gym pic I think I look really fucking good, like damn my hair may be finally coming through and having some stubble somehow enhances my face. I don't think clean shaven is the best for me these days, Id rather rock some clean stubble.

My client also saw me for another session yesterday, since it was late I got 50$ from it. Currently sitting at 55$ in my Paypal. I need another session or I could redeem my credit card points and put it in my paypal to get the canon EF 50 mm f1.8 STM lens so I can do portrait photos. Me and my brother plan to go around Cali and just shoot pics. I started talking with a photographer on reddit and he said this and my kit lens are good to start, he is very knowledgeable.

Today was definitely a better day for me I would say. I have a bit more hope, and seeing my Hinge results in Cali was a boost to my self-confidence. Even though these girls aren't "hot", they fit the cute to super cute category which I am more than happy with. In terms of dating I look forward to the future.

I am capable of getting cute girls or girls with the body type I like. I just gotta work my fucking ass off to go get it. The people i know who put in the work took years to get to where they are now, if I don't stop imagine what I can achieve in five years or so.

 

[Paid Renegade]

That bomber looks good on you.

The people i know who put in the work took years to get to where they are now, if I don't stop imagine what I can achieve in five years or so.

 

[G.N]

That bomber looks good on you.

The people i know who put in the work took years to get to where they are now, if I don't stop imagine what I can achieve in five years or so.

362F7E45-4940-47C2-BA90-9026850000BB.gif

appreciate it mate!

 

[G.N]

11/29

Daily Actions:

->Approach 1 Woman: No
->No Porn/PMO: Yes
->Sugar intake: 14g
->Weekly Gym: 1/3
->Today's Calories: 1230 cal
->Today's Protein Intake: 53/130 g
->Shut of Electronics by 10:30: No

Notes:

Seems like in terms of my eating habits during stressful times the pendulum has swung in the opposite direction (at least for now) where I am eating way below my calorie limit. At least its better than exceeding it and having no self control with sugar or fatty foods. I actually was able to have self control come easier to me. There was this fried chicken food truck that pulled up to campus today and their chicken sandwiches are actually really good, but its very unhealthy so I passed up and got a falafel wrap instead. For dinner i walked over to off campus since that was closer and I could have gotten burgers as that was closer but i instead got an Italian sub sandwich. I also ate no major sources of sugar today, the only sugary thing I had was a cookie this morning.

Only bad diet decision I made today though was getting another 300mg energy drink. But I am so fucking neurotic about my upcoming tasks that I just want to maximize productivity of a single day so I am not constantly stressing. I have been feeling much more positive lately and I don't want anything to ruin it.

The place I get my hair cut at on uni campus has 12$ cuts on Wednesdays, technically 17$ if you want a lineup too. Annoying most barbershops charge extra for lineups now, pre-Covid I could get a lineup, fade, and top trim for 20 ish bucks. Now minimum is like 30-35. I waited outside the barbershop 15 mins before opening in like 20F weather wearing like two layers, earmuffs, and gloves. My dog chewed a hole in one of them so my right hand still gets cold but I been too lazy to replace it, need to soon.

Anyway I was first, got my cut in 30 minutes and really liked it. Attached a pic Got a view of my crown which I haven't gotten in a while. Its a decent sized crescent shape which still looks like a normal cowlick so that is good. Some dude complimented me on my way out saying "you look sharp" after my cut, I just said thanks.

I also took a look at my face this morning and thought clean shaven face wasn't really my thing and figured I would seriously try a stubble look. Honestly I am a fan of it. It accentuates my jawline a lot more and is more masculine. Clean shaven works a lot more on guys with a "prettyboy" aesthetic. foducossy42 what do you think? I know you think I should go for a beard but is this at least a good upgrade over clean shaven?

I also decided to try a fit with the green jacket (under my big winter jacket cuz it was cold lol) which I think I also dig because my clothes actually fit me way better this time. My other black jeans fit loose kinda all over and the shirt hung a little bit. Also attached a pic below. MILFandCookies istg these boots are so good.

I had a presentation today for Microbio as well as a lab quiz. Lab quiz went well but as I always do I had second thoughts on some questions. I kinda winged the presentation but I think I actually did a good job. Growing up my dad taught me how to do presentations as he is a team manager and he has to do presentations in front of some of the most important members of the company he works for, including the CEO. He also would practice presentations with the family too. I also noticed for a lot of the other guys most people weren't paying attention but I noticed more paid attention to my presentation. I think its cuz theres only like 7 guys in the class and I am one of the better looking ones. My TA said I am a very good speaker in the rubric.

Got lunch after then had anatomy lab. Icl I had fun in this one cuz me and two other dudes I usually work with were just having side convos the whole time about dumb stuff acting like high schoolers again lol cuz it was a lab on the reproductive system.

After anatomy lab I got another 300 mg Reign and drank it. That was around 5, its nearly 11 now and I am not that sleepy. I am gonna finish this entry and then study until the library folk kick me out and then go back to my apartment and study until I caffeine crash.

Maximal productivity is mandatory now.

All the shit I have next week:
-PBiochem "Final" Exam
-PBiochem Quiz
-PBiochem Homework
-Anatomy "Final" Exam
-Microbiology "Final" Exam
-Microbiology Last Homework
-Microbiology Lab Final Exam
-Microbiology Post Presentation Quiz
-Research Presentation

I also still need to catch up on a full lecture for PBiochem and about a half or less for my other two subjects. Fuck I feel like I haven't gone this nuts in a while. Every semester I think I have worked the hardest I could in that moment, but that is not true. I can always exceed my limits and create new ones.

I was gonna say something about cold approach but I honestly don't know if I should care, this stuff right now is more important.

Also some good news-ish, that slim thick Cali white girl said she may be in her uni town next weekend or so, I can take Bart there if I can't get my car, and I can make the excuse I went out with a friend. I sent her a message saying I could maybe do the 10th or 11th, no response yet but she takes a while to respond. I had to send her a followup text to get her to respond to my previous one, just hope I get something. Kinda sick of shitty logistics.

Last note is I decided I will redeem my CC points tomorrow for cash and transfer them to my PayPal so I can buy that lens I need for portraits. I am running lower on time now so we gotta move fast. My CF card reader arrived today but I am too busy to pick it up until Friday.

 

[Foducossy]

I also took a look at my face this morning and thought clean shaven face wasn't really my thing and figured I would seriously try a stubble look. Honestly I am a fan of it. It accentuates my jawline a lot more and is more masculine. Clean shaven works a lot more on guys with a "prettyboy" aesthetic. @foducossy42 what do you think? I know you think I should go for a beard but is this at least a good upgrade over clean shaven?

Your new profile pic with the haircut, stubble and I think you did something to your brows? It’s good. Definitely an improvement.

But experiment with the beard. Just try growing it out a little and take pics, see how you look and feel.

 

[G.N]

jakeD if its anything like that one time I was incredibly drunk i may just hold off. If I even try edibles I will do it around my HS friendgroup because they all smoke weed. The first time I got really drunk it was around them and since we have known each other for years I was able to trust them. Hell I am grateful they stalled my dad with conversation for long enough to get my drunk ass to my room so I can sleep w/o my dad finding out.

I am absolutely not doing any hard drugs though, fuck no.

 

[G.N]

I also took a look at my face this morning and thought clean shaven face wasn't really my thing and figured I would seriously try a stubble look. Honestly I am a fan of it. It accentuates my jawline a lot more and is more masculine. Clean shaven works a lot more on guys with a "prettyboy" aesthetic. @foducossy42 what do you think? I know you think I should go for a beard but is this at least a good upgrade over clean shaven?

Your new profile pic with the haircut, stubble and I think you did something to your brows? It’s good. Definitely an improvement.

But experiment with the beard. Just try growing it out a little and take pics, see how you look and feel.

I didn't do anything with my brows they have regrown a bit from my appointment though.

So far I like this look, I may try to keep it until it starts getting really itchy, which it definitely does a little in cold weather.

 

[G.N]

11/30

Daily Actions:

->Approach 1 Woman: No
->No Porn/PMO: Yes
->Sugar intake: 71g
->Weekly Gym: 1/3
->Today's Calories: 2100 cal
->Today's Protein Intake: 131/130 g
->Shut of Electronics by 10:30: No

Notes:

Managed to finally buy that damn 50 mm Lens, with it I can finally start shooting portrait pictures.

Still struggling to set up anything with the girls from California. May just try one last ditch effort and then call it quits if I fail. Oh well, at least the ego boost was fun.

When it comes to my hair, for some reason certain lightings like a bright ass room my thin spot doesn't look very noticeable, but when I step outside in like neutral-ish light it was more visible. Really strange as the other day I also stepped out in neutral light and it wasn't that noticeable. I don't get it. I keep telling myself not to bug about it cuz now I look pretty damn good from the sides and front at least.

Also met my Addiction therapist today for the first time. Most of the session I just basically just explained my story with porn and basically just went incredibly unfiltered with him. He appreciated my brutal honesty. Truthfully I got nothing to hide (except like one thing maybe) and I have to be vulnerable with myself in order to recover. He did ask some questions about family relationships and I told him about my recent situation with that one girl and just what things cause me to have urges. We planned a second session soon so hopefully we can get to actual strategies and maybe unpacking some of my thought processes around this.

The feeling of finals time isolation is starting to hit me as I am just generally very closed off during stressful times like these. The whole time I keep telling myself I need to lock tf in for the next week to get through all the shit I have due. Kinda feel down thinking about how even tommorow imma be studying a lot, not as much as usual but I will. Doesn't help that my good friend didn't show up to the club meet today, but I still had some fun. Me and this other guy were both wearing maroon shirts with a small gold chain and some girls were talking about how we were twinning lol. I don't even know this guy.

I went to bed at like 1:30 AM yesterday and felt groggy as hell getting up. Imma try to sleep more normal today. I managed to get most of todays tasks done except a few things. I need to break up the assignments into smaller parts so it doesn't feel like another insane obligation.

My sleep has been absolute piss this week, if I keep doing this it will hurt my performance next week. So I will try to keep the lack of proper sleep to a minimum, maybe Tuesday next week