Hey bro. I am having issues with the notifications so apologies for getting back to this late.
Alright. Comparison with other guys.
Look. Here's the truth I've gotten to after 3 years of HUSTLING this shit like crazy,
What set me free from the comparison trap, was just learning the truths about attraction, dating, and how SMV is just king in this game.
The more I worked, the more I dedicated myself, the harder I went, and the absolute grinding I put in for many years, didn't get me what I was looking for.
And the suspicions I had about dating, were confirmed to be true. Looks are 90% of your outcomes. If you have a deficit in social skills and vibe (you do - I don't, and haven't for a long time), you have to correct this before you can obtain some basic and consistent results. But even when you do, your SMV will largely determine your cap in dating outcomes unless you can compensate with extraordinary social skills, confidence, and tactical persuasion skills which border on straight up manipulation and dark triad psychopathy.
We generally don't want to go into all of that...Most men who are not very weird, do not resonate with that shit.
What IMO is better for the human animal, is to make men as attractive as they can be physically, and then give them great social skills, vibe, and the ability to properly connect with others.
ANY man can be the best version of themselves. And if you really want something, and are relentless, there are ALWAYS ways to get it.
The best thing for you to do, is just focus on YOUR results.
What stopped me from comparing, was being around so many of these guys, and seeing that they were just normal guys. Honestly, some of them were total incompetent losers. In a looks based game like dating, substance is a lot less important. I saw that. I value substance, integrity, and values, so I stopped seeing dating results as "impressive", when I saw how so many of the men behind those results, were by all accounts, low lives and losers who lacked any kind of values.
As a guy who did the work, I noticed how I never really got the online dating apps to work, and could only really get very low level, low end women off them. Once in a blue moon, I'd close a 6, and that would take quite some work. But I just got a feel for how it all worked. I also saw how cold approach worked, and saw how all my many years of hard work in learning approaching, didn't get me even a fraction of what I was looking for. Infact, it was not even close.
That tend to be the way it goes for the lower SMV guys, unfortunately. There are exceptions, and I hope to be one, one day.
But when you see the deeper underlying dynamic, you stop comparing. The fact is, in this game, looks are 90%. That's just the way it is. You get a halo effect and you can be a waste of space in every sense, and slay.
And yes, my brother, is attractive, puts in no effort, and gets 1000000 x the quality I get. Like, it's not even in the same galaxy. Again. He doesn't even try, is actually a bit socially inept and weird (my friends who met him, don't like him, he is annoying and very immature...) And yet, for all intents and purposes, as far as quality goes, he has me beat by a country mile.
I don't know if I will ever even get close.
Realistically, I don't know, and can't say.
HOWEVER
Despite this, I've banged a tonne more chicks than he has, went on more dates than most men ever will (200+), approached 10,000 odd women, and generally, seen a lot and been through a tonne.
He gets matches out the ass. But can't get them on dates.
I get maybe 1 or 2 low quality matches a month. But I can not only get them on dates, I can bang them too,
Because I am a more socially savvy, charismatic, hard working, driven, and masculine man than he is or ever will be. Because I am a true Low SMV king and have to be that much harder and tougher than my competition to survive. This becomes a badge of honour and you just lean into it, and use the fury to drive yourself further in life.
You can use other aspects of your being to create outcomes. I am able to effectively move and use my own energy and masculinity to create outcomes in my own market, which is the lower end of women regarding looks and quality. But I can still make it happen.
My brother also doesn't have his life together, doesn't feel a sense of urgency, and also despite absolute hotties drooling over him daily and throwing themselves at him, he doesn't tend to do anything with it, because of his big ego.
Women will literally stop and stare at him in the street.
But it has not served him in the overall game of life. Good looking men, are complacent. Life is too kind and too easy for them, and they lack warrior spirit.
You have to exploit these cracks in their game, and their tendency towards softness, to find gaps in the market that allow you to succeed. You strike when they're not looking. You just be more consistent than them and get the matches they didn't care to look at. You have to out grind them.
However, if they're good looking, and work hard, you're toast. No one can compete with Chad. Period. Not in this arena, it's his house. unfortunately.
Me in contrast, well, I've been damn near invisible for 32 years. Even women I dated and banged. told me they didn't necessarily find me attractive, but did like my vibe, energy, and spirit. Women have told me things about my appearance which were quite hurtful to be honest, even chicks I am dating - the chick I'm seeing actually told me I looked a bit like a rottweiler dog. LMAO.
Dating as an ugly dude (not saying this is you), will just teach you so much about the game, about female nature, about the dynamics of dating, and after so long in the arena, you just start to see it for what it is.
When I got so deep in this world, and saw time after time, how men who had no substance, were a complete joke across every metric, but just looked quite attractive, cleaned up with women, I just understood how sordid and gross an arena dating is. Style over substance, and a very grim, superficial affair.....
Thats just the way this goes.
You can be mad about it, you can wish it was another way, but honestly, this is just the way it works.
So you have to learn to ignore all that, and JUST FIND WAYS TO WIN
When I personally completely processed and internalised that, I let go, and simply gave no fucks any more about the disparities in outcomes between different men.
When I saw how many guys who got laid fairly easy, were weak, weird, socially inept, and quite substanceless as men, I just saw it for what it is: why would I compare myself to these people.....?
They're not better, in any way. They're just regular people. Who happened to have a facial structure and look that appeals to women.
THAT. IS. ALL.
So why even care about such a superficial and nonsensical thing?
It means nothing. It's randomness. Genetic chance.
If you had the same SMV, and provided you'd addressed the social skill and vibe issues, you'd get the same result, if your effort and consistency was there.
That is how it works.
I stopped blaming myself, I stopped feeling bad, and I realised it was not my fault.
It was the endless, endless, endless approaches I did, where despite overhauling every facet of my game, I just saw how there was not a damn thing I could do to spark attraction and take the interaction anywhere. They didn't like my face, didn't like the way I looked, and despite feeling some positive emotions and enjoying speaking to me, in their core, they could not exchange their numbers or be open to anything beyond flirtatious conversation.
I realised it was the SMV cap I have come up against for years. And I stopped fighting against it. How can I blame myself for a lack of looks, after all I have fought for, tried, and put myself through. I wasn't born with the right looks, so I decided I will just play my hand as powerfully as I can.
The only Low SMV man I saw make it, was The Bastard. Otherwise, it's just a long road of SMV Maxxxing and working on social skills and vibe.
Going through this, for me, and truly doing the work, made me stop comparing.
A statement I like to say to put some people in their place, is if they were to switch bodies with me, they'd be an incel tomorrow. I generally stand by that and think there are no users on this forum who would have the sheer brass balls and force of will to create outcomes if they were dropped into my body for a year. They'd be done and dusted in a month and that would be the last you'd hear of them.
That actually helped me understand that I have a lot of worth and value, and the fact that I've banged 23 women as an ugly dude who was a virgin until he was 30, is pretty spectacular if you ask me. I am 32 years old, put it all on the line to make sure I have a better life in my 30s than I did in my 20s, and frankly, I did attain that,.
All you can do, my friend, is focus on YOU.
-Maximise your SMV
-Maximise your profiles
-Maximise your social skills, vibe, and killer instinct
-Play the numbers game as a lifestyle choice
-Be patient, and make hammering the process with consistency just part of your life
Do NOT feel bad about your dating outcomes, and do not compare to others
This is a very superficial game, and it isn't something I glorify. I am a Self Improvement guy, and believe in LIFE SUCCESS & HAPPINESS. Dating is just PART of that. And yes, I encourage everyone to handle it and be consistent with it, like I am and all my guys are.
That, CAN be done. If you do the work.
BTW, SMV can be changed. After my body re-composition process, my tattoos, and my facial surgeries, I'll move from 4/5 range to 6.
And you'll see better outcomes in my log for it.
Keep plugging away. It'll come together,
-MAC