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Hydro's Log

I see you have a lot to sort out beyond weight loss, and the amount of weight you'll have to lose is monumental. But this is log is going to be fucking epic in like 2-3 years if you can keep up for that long.

Hydro said:
So I got to 268.5 lb on the last day of July. My goal was to get below 268 so that would be considered a failure. However I am happy since I believe on the start of July I was about 285 lb, so I lost 17lb in 1 month.
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Hydro said:
I am currently a bit below 270lb and have lost a total of 30lb from starting at 300lbs. I really want to take this to the next level and wish to be 235lb 2 months from now, by the start of October.
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I'm commenting to congratulate you on losing 17 lbs in a month and a total of ~32 lbs so far. I can't imagine starting from this point myself, but the fact that it seems like you're going all in with weight loss is inspiring.

Manganiello had started from a similar place too btw.
 
Hydro I spent a full year losing weight before I talked to any girls.

Did that before joining KYIL.
 
Well this is interesting.

Watched the vid on the YT channel about the forums and it re-motivated me to come back and post.

I haven't lose the weight, instead I gained some, but I have actually been going to the gym. I found out months into my lease that there is a small gym nearby where I live, ~5 minutes walking distance. Just went twice today and plan on going twice, maybe three times tomorrow as well since it's closed on Sundays.

Might just be posting daily logs, not in a really good place in life atm.

OH well, life goes on, but like Andy said, "Just don't quit."
 
Just hit 100 hours on NoFap. Bruh this is a fucking achivement, WTF.... :o

I'll post the photo when it syncs to my icloud since I have a tracker. I'll do the rest of my log when I come back from the gym. 30 min cardio time.

 
Workout complete, but I'm feeling down man. I just want to start approaching girls, even if it's approaching girls and asking the time.

There was a woman (senior citizen) who I completed on her hat and that was fine. Even as a guy who goes to the gym, I still have that sense of social anxiety of me not belonging here, but I still go which is nice. Essentially I get around it because I procrastinate, but it gets done since the gym closes at 9PM M-F and at 5PM on Sat (closed on Sundays). I just rush to the gym at 8:30ish and get my 30 min cardio workout done. So I am self improving even though it isn't the best way.

But I'm not really self improving to the degree that I'd like. There's a grocery store (Safeways) that opened up recently next to the gym, both ~5 mins away and I haven't been at the grocery store. I have been losing weight by eating rice, beans, pizza, fruit and Subway but I feel like I can progress even more yet I feel helpless in many ways.

There's a farmers market here on Saturdays literally right next to my apartment building and I can't even go outside. I mean I'm self improving since I go to the gym daily, but I'm leaving a lot of gas in the tank since there's more self improvement that I can do. I mean I just finished my workout and have sweat rolling off my head, I should be getting these endorphins but I just feel down man. I wish I could go out and talk to girls, and even guys but I feel so helpless.

I did join a gameglobal telegram at my location yesterday and I briefly introduced myself and where I'm at in life. A guy in there gave me good advice by going outside and talking about random things that spark your curiosity (that's a nice car, those flowers look nice, that restaurant probably serves good food, etc...) and that can get me out of my shell even more.

Self improving by nofapping and working out, but not self improving since I'm still not approaching that much (too scared with too much anxiety) and not getting a proper meal plan in.

DAMN, but I guess 1 day at a time, right.....
 
There's an app called Forfeit, similar to stickk or beeminder that keeps you accountable via software. Essentially, you pledge what you're going to do, at what time, and how much $ you put on the line.

I've really been slacking on meal prepping for some time, but I pledged to put frozen chicken into the fridge so it can defrost overnight by 2PM yesterday. I procrastinated, but I got it done. It's crazy how procrastination can be a crazy power, but before I turn 30, I pretty want to control my procrastination in 90+% of circumstances.

I plan on doing my meal prepping today, chicken rice and beans is the mojo. I will use forfeit to make a deadline for that. Interestingly, if i have the deadline at 6PM, it'll get done at 6pm, if I have the deadline by 11:59 pm, it'll be done by 11;59 pm. If I have the deadline by 3pm it'll be done by 3pm, so this way you're doing Schrodinger's procrastination.

Also I relapsed on nofap today after 5 successful days (literally on the 120th hour). Interesting that I relapsed on a Sunday, the only day of the week when the gym is closed. Is this a sign :shock: ?
 
Finished cooking rice, and beans mixed with salsa. Just waiting for the chicken to defrost a little bit more.

I went and got dominos, and I believe I'm going to start meal prepping on Saturdays, and as I've finished cooking the rice and beans, I'll have the chicken prepared so all I have to do is cook it. I will go and get dominos pizza and my cheat meal on Saturdays so I can of course reward myself for eating and working out during the week, but most importantly have my chicken rice and beans prepared throughout the week.

Interestingly, as I went outside I gave a couple of guys random compliments on their shirts and jacket. Held the door for this guy who literally had 6 boxes of pizza's and and slightly seeing myself being more socially proactive. It's small, but baby steps are baby steps. Happy with that, will take more action!
 
I feel really bad at the moment. I think it's because I basically "wasted" another day of my life. Could that be true, yes, but I think it has more to do with the fact that the gym is closed on Sundays.

Going to the gym is a highlight because I can get these emotions out of my system in a productive, healthy and holistic way. I think I might have to get a pass from another gym or something for Sundays because of me feeling inadequate.

I did do a lot of meal prepping today, got my rice and beans fully prepared, it's in the fridge. Just waiting for the chicken to defrost more so I will clean that, cut it, marinate it and then cook it tomorrow and I will basically have 1/2 of the meal plan made.

I feel nervous going into Safeways idk why. I felt the same thing going to the gym but now I have a sense of confidence at the gym that I don't feel judged anymore. Exposure therapy and desensitization is a real thing. I'm going to go do safeways and get something small like a diet coke or something, but will check out all the aisles and the new store so when I do go back, I can take a mental note of what I will schedule for my meal prep. I'm thinking something with tortillas, maybe like a breakfast burrito since there are tortillas that literally have 25g of fiber in them. 25g of fiber is a lot, it keeps you full, poop goes out extremely quick and 25g of fiber I believe is almost all of your fiber intake. It;s a hell of a lot easier to lose weight when you're full too!

Good night guys. I hope you guys get 1% better tomorrow as well! :)
 
My dad facetimed my this morning on accident (what he said lol). He was showing me that the back door of his semitruck got loose or came off, but my dads a trooper since he got one of the employees at the truckers location to get the doors back on, a handyman.

This just gave me a queasy feeling in my stomach. Here I am doing nothing, was laying in bed for over an hour and fapped again (will see how this week plans out since last week I went 5 complete days no Porn or masturbation. I think it has to do with the gym being closed on sundays so me doing essentially nothing, but I will try to have some daily highlight for this Sunday to complete (prepare a chapter for my upcoming classes and go out and approach 5 women minimum to give a compliment).

I can't stand this, I'm going to cut my chicken breast since they're defrosted and then I will marinate them so then in a couple hours I will cook them and have my chicken rice and BEANS (not broccoli) prepared for this whole week (M-Sat).

Tackle the days boyos (and some girl-o's)
 
Interesting on what happened last night. I went to the gym and did my 30 minutes of cardio, and called my parents. Dad broke the back of his trucker door, but some of my brown brothers from a different continent (Shout out to the Mexicans) helped out my dad put on the door so big shot out to the guys with them great ass work ethic.

There's a BJJ studio next to the gym and I asked if they have a student discount, I believe it is about $125 which is a really great deal (per month of course). As I was finishing up my walk, I was walking home and there was a woman sitting on the side of the sidewalk with a luggage and a 3 foot by 1.5 foot container that she has her stuff in. Turns out she is homeless and she needed to get to a bus stop. I tried helping her by looking up the bus stop but I couldn't find it. She then told me that she knows someone who works at the Safeway, the same one that I was talking from a pervious post about how I'm still nervous to go there by myself. Since I didn't want her to be there I asked if I could help her walk her belongings and boom, we put her container on my head and we walked about a half mile to get to Safeways. from there I was getting to know a little bit about her, she has been homeless for 5 years, left the house since she was a victim of DV and the guy she was with was terrible to her. My condolences since I have seen DV growing up in the household. As we arrived outside of Safeway, I stood outside for about 10 minutes as she went in to talk to her friend and man was it interesting. I'm not in good shape, was wearing baggy clothes and was sweating from the gym so people thought I was homeless, but there were people giving me nasty eyes and even a couple of college guys in a Dodge Charger or something who yelled at me and gave me the finger. I felt incredible sympathetic that if this is what's happening for ~10 minutes for a guy that people think is homeless, imagine what real homeless people feel on a daily basis. They probably feel like shit, and in order for them to feel good they go to drugs and insert the terrible feedback loop.

From there Erica, the homeless lady, came outside and we talked for another 10 minutes and I was just asking her questions about stuff but she was really nice and sweet to me. She gave me a hug because she was stranded outside for 2 hours and I helped her. Interesting since I'm turning 28 soon and I think this is the only woman who has hugged me outside of my Mom which is really interesting, but I just wish Erica is in a better place and hope she gets a home soon.

This afternoon I went to the gym and did some bench press and 30 minutes of cardio and when I came out, there was a pair of two really cute girls and I wished I approached them but I couldn't. My AA was there and here I wonder, why am I the type of guy who can help a homeless lady carry her stuff for a half mile without hesitation, or why could I help out this other homeless person, a guy who was overdosing on fentanyl and I IMMEDIATELY lunged forward and gave the dude CPR within 5 seconds of observing the situation. I can help save a guys life from overdosing by giving him CPR, and I can help a homeless woman carry her stuff for a half mile but I can't even approach a woman to save my life. What the fuck man, I really wish I had the courage to approach girls, but I guess some guys like me aren't cut out for it.

Also finished my meal prep last night, lets gooooooooo.
 
Hydro said:
Interesting on what happened last night. I went to the gym and did my 30 minutes of cardio, and called my parents. Dad broke the back of his trucker door, but some of my brown brothers from a different continent (Shout out to the Mexicans) helped out my dad put on the door so big shot out to the guys with them great ass work ethic.

There's a BJJ studio next to the gym and I asked if they have a student discount, I believe it is about $125 which is a really great deal (per month of course). As I was finishing up my walk, I was walking home and there was a woman sitting on the side of the sidewalk with a luggage and a 3 foot by 1.5 foot container that she has her stuff in. Turns out she is homeless and she needed to get to a bus stop. I tried helping her by looking up the bus stop but I couldn't find it. She then told me that she knows someone who works at the Safeway, the same one that I was talking from a pervious post about how I'm still nervous to go there by myself. Since I didn't want her to be there I asked if I could help her walk her belongings and boom, we put her container on my head and we walked about a half mile to get to Safeways. from there I was getting to know a little bit about her, she has been homeless for 5 years, left the house since she was a victim of DV and the guy she was with was terrible to her. My condolences since I have seen DV growing up in the household. As we arrived outside of Safeway, I stood outside for about 10 minutes as she went in to talk to her friend and man was it interesting. I'm not in good shape, was wearing baggy clothes and was sweating from the gym so people thought I was homeless, but there were people giving me nasty eyes and even a couple of college guys in a Dodge Charger or something who yelled at me and gave me the finger. I felt incredible sympathetic that if this is what's happening for ~10 minutes for a guy that people think is homeless, imagine what real homeless people feel on a daily basis. They probably feel like shit, and in order for them to feel good they go to drugs and insert the terrible feedback loop.

From there Erica, the homeless lady, came outside and we talked for another 10 minutes and I was just asking her questions about stuff but she was really nice and sweet to me. She gave me a hug because she was stranded outside for 2 hours and I helped her. Interesting since I'm turning 28 soon and I think this is the only woman who has hugged me outside of my Mom which is really interesting, but I just wish Erica is in a better place and hope she gets a home soon.

This afternoon I went to the gym and did some bench press and 30 minutes of cardio and when I came out, there was a pair of two really cute girls and I wished I approached them but I couldn't. My AA was there and here I wonder, why am I the type of guy who can help a homeless lady carry her stuff for a half mile without hesitation, or why could I help out this other homeless person, a guy who was overdosing on fentanyl and I IMMEDIATELY lunged forward and gave the dude CPR within 5 seconds of observing the situation. I can help save a guys life from overdosing by giving him CPR, and I can help a homeless woman carry her stuff for a half mile but I can't even approach a woman to save my life. What the fuck man, I really wish I had the courage to approach girls, but I guess some guys like me aren't cut out for it.

Also finished my meal prep last night, lets gooooooooo.
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Finished my 2nd workout of the day by doing my 30 mins of cardio on the rower machine. I also started to give more compliments out today. I put my hand out forward to stop and asked a guy what his shirt meant. Thought it was a cancer awareness month but he said it was an old gf's shirt about a sexual assault awareness club that she was a part of. Had a minute or two convo with the guy, seemed pretty cool. This was after my first workout though.

When I ended the second workout I went to cooldown by walking, I gave about a handful of compliments to guys, one to a couple saying they look cute together and even asked a pair of women where the train station was so getting my baby steps in there. As I'm typing this, I'm on my bed and feel sleepy so will knock out soon. Irritated a little bit that my right ear is blocked somewhat compared to my left ear. Hopefully when I wake up everything will be A-okay.

Get some rest gents and tackle the day!
 
I finished my workout but instead of doing the 30 mins of cardio before closing time, I decided to lift weights, which is interesting. I was tired before going to the gym and was yawning. I slept bad, woke up with 5ish hours of sleep by waking up at 6, went back to bed at 930ish and then woke up right at afternoon.

Happy that I lifted weights by doing squats, trap bar deadlifts and doing some weighted machine crunches. I was sweating a lot more than doing my 30 mins of moderate intense cardio that I do M-Sat.

Called my parents and I'm really happy that my dad is becoming more active in life. He was bed ridden with depression and this happens with him sometimes as he and I both suffer from this. He's been working hella hard and I'm proud of him, I really am, thank you dad. Mom and I were having fun and cracking a couple jokes over the phone, so today was amazing. I'm lifting weights, parents are happy. These times don't last, might as well make the best of them!

also I complimented a woman today saying she had a nice sweatshirt. She didn't say anything back and continued walking, but I didn't feel bad, shamed, awkward, embarassed or anything like that, so that's a W.

Logging off boys!
 
Hey guys how ya'll doing, just talking about my daily self improvement stuff.

I woke up early again today, but then stayed in bed since I was groggy and stayed in and went back to sleep. Then I woke up between sometime 2-3PM. I thought about going to the gym at that time but I was like f it. Just dicked around on the internet and went to the gym at 8:15ish. I was contemplating on either doing the rower machine or doing Overhead press. At the weight room, it was mostly packed and there's 2 squat racks there and they were both used. For some reason I felt pretty comfortable asking one of the guys if I can work in with him, and he said yeah no problem. Dude's been working out for some time and wants to workout more (doing it 3-4 times a week) but can't because of work.

He was doing lunges with the barbell and I was doing overhead press. After every set we gave each other fist bumps to acknowledge the work we're putting in, so shout out to Kyle for that. I Did my 95 lbs for 3 sets of 5, and after taht I told him to have a great workout, but it was nice talking to someone outside of the front desk saying (hi or good day/night).

AFter that I went for my cooldown walk and I complimented 1 woman saying she has nice shoes while we were passing bye. She looked at me awkwardly, but most importantly I didn't feel bad so shout out to me for that (for physical and social self improvement).
 
Went to the gym and lifted.
Squatted 155 lbs for 3 sets of 5
Trap bar deadlift 205 lbs for 1 set of 5.

For some reason, I sweat significantly more when I lift weights compared to doing cardio, but of course my heart rate is higher when doing cardio.
 
So I didn't log what happened after, I went to the gym on Friday 30 mins before closing time and for some reason I decided not to go on the rower machine. I decided to do some machine and dumbbell work. Basically pump work / light bodybuilding work.

The great thing is that I finally went to my Safeways (the grocery store). I was nervous about goin there and since it has opened for over a month I haven't gone in, but I did and got some stuff so thats awesome.

I remember I was finishing up my walk after the gym and I was walking and 3 girls were walking towards me. I asked them if they knew where Safeways was. I knew it was down the street but I wanted to practice my social freedom a bit more. All 3 girls said IDK and for some odd reason that made me feel down, not at that moment, but hours later when I was at my apartment, all by myself, that night.

Anyways I then went to sleep and called it a night. Approached a group of 3 girls after a 2 sessions of the gym for the day and things don't go well, but it is what it is.
 
Saturday 07/29

I woke up a bit later than usual since I went to sleep late. I dicked around on the internet and then I contemplated on going to the gym. I always go on Saturdays, I was just thinking if I should go twice. My main vulnerability about this is that I don't want to go when there is a lot of gym traffic since you can't do your workout. I went anyways some time around 2. Today I had benchpress only and benched 145 for 3 sets of 5. There is only 1 bench at the gym and there was a guy using it. I asked the guy if I could work in with him and he said no problem so we took turns and gave each other fist bumps when we finished a set.

I then left and saw a guy, sitting on a bench or something on a sidewalk and I asked him if he's okay. Dude looked teary eyed but no tears down his face, and the only thing I saw him having was 1 tire of a bicycle. The guy said, "Yeah, thanks." Don't know where he is, but as dark as this may seem, I'd assume he's either crying since someone asked him if he's okay and that means a lot to a lot of young men, doing drugs to relieve his pain or he might've offed himself. Yeah this is dark, but the world can be cut throat. Please be alive and happy man. I'm rooting for you!

I came home and dicked around on the internet and then went back at the gym at 4:30 since it closes on 5PM on Saturday. For some reason, I didn't want to do the rower machine and I just did a lot of machine and dumbbell work. Did like 5 sets of machine rows, 5 sets of barbell curls, sets of arnold press super setted with lateral reaises. That was interesting since I felt a good pump and that made me look + feel strong.

I then left the gym and there's this senior citizen guy who lost his wallet so I went to go fetch it but the employee already returned it. He and I had a nice ~5-10 min convo about shit but dude seemed nice.

From there, on the cooldown I approached I believe 3 women (again no numbers just random stuff). One of the girls I asked if the safeways was nearby and the approach was literally within the same place as the last time I approached asking for safeways but the girl, by herself helped me out. So 3 girls can't tell me where it is (when they prolly know), but 1 girl by herself can?

I then went to go get some dominos since it's sautrday and i eat pizza on saturday as a cheat meal. One girl I complimented on her outfit and she said thanks. Oh yeah the first girl i complimented that day she had a nice fur sweater and she said thanks, and another girl had a pink sweater and she said thanks as well i believe. So that makes it 4 today i believe of SAYING SOMETHING.

after that, I felt down. the gym is closed past 5, no gym on sundays. I feel like a bum since i want do be doing something but i just keep on dicking around. bruh i literally jacked off and then came on this site to talk abot what i did today. I did read Ravi's post and how he is in Hungary and he's not having a good time. 200 approaches with 0 contact exchange is quite brutal, espeically when i have no experience so i have an even more fragile of system to operate in. Ravi you can make it brother, you can't go down especially wit you buddy. finna go to sleep now and it's 5 am, and what am i doing on a saturday night / sunday morning as a college student? at my apartment, locked (psychologically, learned helplessness) with no friends, no gym, no date / sex / intimacy. Yeah life is really fucking fun yeah. Im jst gonna sleep and let the rest take care of itself.
 
Woke up in the late morning today and going to start doing my meal prep and show a pic (Depending if the cloud can get it quickly on the desktop).

I was looking at the nofap subreddit since I'm trying to quit watching porn and only masturbate with my imagination and the goal is to masturbate just once a week, at night before I go to sleep instead of the mornings when i start my day.

Can't believe it but this post really fucked it man...." https://www.reddit.com/r/NoFap/comments/15cnqke/instead_of_fapping_i_am_hanging_myself_today/
I hope the guy didn't do anything to himself but he isn't responding to any of the comments and that fucking sucks man. I can't believe it, a guy that I don't even know on the internet going through some shit and potentially going to end it. Just last night I was having some thoughts, lonely saturday nights as Chris said it as well even though I went to the gym 2x yesterday.

That reddit post embodies everything that I have in common with him, the difference being I'm 27 and he's 31 and I didn't get addicted that young, most likely 12-14, sometime around there.

Is this a wake up call for me, that if I follow this path that I will be in the same position as lostSoulmate9? I don't want to believe this, both him not ending himself and my future of what will happen. I tried clicking on his account and the page says no one goes by that name so idk what's going on man. fuckkkkkk.

Also I was reading some of Ravi's post and he has been going through some stuff since his dating life hasn't gone well in Hungary so the guy is really facing some internal issues at the moment. I can't let these two guys down man. I have to do my meal prep by tonight and close a decent amount of tabs on my pc since they're making me mentally masturbate my goals in life. I am taking action but I can put even more gas on the pedal. I need this, not just for myself, but for the guys (and ladies) who are down in the dumps right now, I can't quit, not right now.

Goals for today:
1. Finish meal prep and post photo
2. No jacking off today
3. Put the phone in the container before bed so no scrolling at night
4. Close 20 tabs by tonight (tally mark on a sticky note)
 
Its good that you’re keeping a good attitude. A great strategy to avoiding porn is to make sure you have positive activities scheduled through your whole day so it is less of a temptation. Avoid porn is something that I am working on as well.
 
Toey_the_Turtle said:
Its good that you’re keeping a good attitude. A great strategy to avoiding porn is to make sure you have positive activities scheduled through your whole day so it is less of a temptation. Avoid porn is something that I am working on as well.
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I 100% agree with this. I need to go out more, 99.99% of people aren't gonna jack off if they're out in public doing stuff.

Even for something like studying or doing work, if I'm at a library or cafe, I'm not gonna pop out my piece and start rubbing it out lol.

Thanks buddy, I appreciate the advice, 100%!
 
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