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Living the dream/ Phase 1 - The first crossroads

Sewerdog said:
OLD: ramping up again
Got a picnic date this saturday with a female friend from social circle.
Sent enquiries to three therapists.
Booked a Thai massage and will go to an improv group tm to meet new people and try to become more expressive.
Nofap streak continues.
Diet is super healthy and workouts are going great, I'm beginning to look and feel more supernatural, the pumps and aggression are crazy.
Want to do some charity work to stop this feeling of lack so will find some.
Click to expand...

Love it dude. Keep building yourself up one day at a time.
 
YOU ARE NOT DONE YET

YOU MUST POST

WE WILL NOT ALLOW YOU TO STOP

Sewerdog

If you need to talk to someone, I have time on Sat.

Ravi
 
MakingAComeback said:
YOU ARE NOT DONE YET

YOU MUST POST

WE WILL NOT ALLOW YOU TO STOP

@Sewerdog

If you need to talk to someone, I have time on Sat.

Ravi
Click to expand...


Amen. Been thinking about ya dude Sewerdog

Hope you're well, brother.
 
Thank you so much guys, you dont know how much that means.

I didn't expect to find success so early on with a genuinely beautiful woman and to have her be so good to me and then to fall on my face for no other reason than my own mental bs has really thrown me for a loop.
It's like the world has the capacity to be a far better place than I imagined and it was just me bringing my demons into it all along.

Been thinking what I really want from women and what I want from myself a lot and all I can really think is I want our lives to be better for knowing each other. I have a lot to work through before I get there but I now know I can.

I will start posting again and resume my progress.

Today:
Gym has been going very well and gonna have a session with my buddy.
Straight up asked the same girl if we went on a date tonight if she'd let me kiss her and she said yes. Therefore I'll try to do this, if not go to a meetup group in Oxford and approach 1 woman.
Hit OLD numbers and run a boost.
Get some more tretinoin for the skincare gains.
Read through material recommended by therapist.

My diet is still healthy and my looksmaxxing processes are still in place.
Recomping body until abs.
Dickmaxxing has been working which is great for my confidence also I've cured my Ed through nofap and running test, I must still work to break through my fear of intimacy.

Thanks again guys you've genuinely picked me back up.
 
300 is a lot. How long is your cycle for? 16 weeks? Have you noticed any hair loss? Finasteride is good and RU while on cycle. Have you needed to take an AI yet?

How are you able to do PE while not getting urges and maintaining your no fap streak?
 
Jacobpalmer123 said:
300 is a lot. How long is your cycle for? 16 weeks? Have you noticed any hair loss? Finasteride is good and RU while on cycle. Have you needed to take an AI yet?

How are you able to do PE while not getting urges and maintaining your no fap streak?
Click to expand...

I've dropped to 250mg a week since then and am thinking 16 weeks as all the sides have been positive.
Hair is fine too so far and I haven't noticed any aromatisation.

You look like you've achieved some serious results so any pointers are greatly appreciated.

PE wise I'm just stretching and using bathmate which haven't triggered any urges.
I managed a three week streak but not mo-ing has been a train wreck the last couple weeks lol. Honestly avoiding porn has been super easy due to the extreme emotional pain of Ed and realising I need to get my dopamine system healthy.
 
Back in the win column.
All tasks achieved for today.

Date: Went really well. Can't beleive I basically had a needy meltdown over text with this girl and now I'm back seeing her.
Got some good physical contact straight away and escalated from there and just felt natural. Ended up making out in the carpark for ages with her moaning and running her hands down me. Crucially, dick is working very well this time around.
Ended up teasing her for being short but also told her she was beautiful too lol

Going forward I won't slack-off on the OLD and I'll keep going to meetups and doing my inner work.
 
Went out to our spot with this girl again, ended up making out and making her cum. I think I'm starting to realise how to get myself in the zone by escalating and really enjoying her body. I was still very nervous but I think if I went for it she would have let me have sex with her. I now know that it is nerves getting in the way and I'm still holding back. I also tried moving her around and being more assertive which I enjoyed and she moaned my name when she climaxed which was really cool.
I think I'll try to ramp up to full on sex next time as she's really compliant and really gets off on me leading but I'll have to sort us out somewhere with more space than her car 🤣
 
Sewerdog said:
Went out to our spot with this girl again, ended up making out and making her cum. I think I'm starting to realise how to get myself in the zone by escalating and really enjoying her body. I was still very nervous but I think if I went for it she would have let me have sex with her. I now know that it is nerves getting in the way and I'm still holding back. I also tried moving her around and being more assertive which I enjoyed and she moaned my name when she climaxed which was really cool.
I think I'll try to ramp up to full on sex next time as she's really compliant and really gets off on me leading but I'll have to sort us out somewhere with more space than her car 🤣
Click to expand...

Let's gooo!
 
Sewerdog said:
Thank you so much guys, you dont know how much that means.

I didn't expect to find success so early on with a genuinely beautiful woman and to have her be so good to me and then to fall on my face for no other reason than my own mental bs has really thrown me for a loop.
It's like the world has the capacity to be a far better place than I imagined and it was just me bringing my demons into it all along.

Been thinking what I really want from women and what I want from myself a lot and all I can really think is I want our lives to be better for knowing each other. I have a lot to work through before I get there but I now know I can.

I will start posting again and resume my progress.

Today:
Gym has been going very well and gonna have a session with my buddy.
Straight up asked the same girl if we went on a date tonight if she'd let me kiss her and she said yes. Therefore I'll try to do this, if not go to a meetup group in Oxford and approach 1 woman.
Hit OLD numbers and run a boost.
Get some more tretinoin for the skincare gains.
Read through material recommended by therapist.

My diet is still healthy and my looksmaxxing processes are still in place.
Recomping body until abs.
Dickmaxxing has been working which is great for my confidence also I've cured my Ed through nofap and running test, I must still work to break through my fear of intimacy.

Thanks again guys you've genuinely picked me back up.
Click to expand...

He's back ;-)

Welcome back bro.

Just glad you came here to vent, share, and let us know you're OK.

You got this man.

KEEP WORKING,
MAC
 
This week:

Looksmaxing/bodymaxing:
Got new retinol
Got beard oil
Had a deload week at the gym
Made more PE gains

Went on another date with the same girl and made out in her car again for ages and seem to be gaining more and more arousal levels which is really interesting and probably a sign of my brain rewiring.
She said I make her feel happy and really enjoys spending time with me which is probably the biggest win I've had this year.

Next week:
Hit the gym hard
Restart my no-fap streak (broke it twice this week after each date)
Keep reading through therapy material
Organise more dates and socials
Research more hormone optimisation (HGH, HCG)
Continue PE
Also sustaining a calorie defecit seems to tank my libido (slightly buffered by the test) so will eat at maintenence for a week and see what happens.
 
Lay #1
Had another car date with same girl
Ended up undressing her and going down on her, she came super quick. Had sex missionary for a bit then cowgirl but kept loosing erection and didn't finish.
I've come pretty far since July which is cool. Also learned a lot.
She said not to worry about the ED so we'll take it slow. Won't have much to report back on until I've fully fixed it.
 
natedawg said:
How are you, @Sewerdog ?
Click to expand...

Doing well thanks, just building a healthy relationship with this girl, working on my body and mind. Hope all is well with you bro.
 
Sewerdog said:
natedawg said:
How are you, @Sewerdog ?
Click to expand...

Doing well thanks
Click to expand...

And that is ALL that matters man.

Happy you are happy man.

I hope you enjoy your life brother and that you heal yourself and experience joy.

Keep working on being your best & keep posting

MAC
 
Skimmed your logs since September. I'm glad you're back on track. Consistency is most important, and you seem to have that down. Keep it up
 
Updates:
Had covid and car needs fixing so been a quiet week.
Can't get to garage till Thurs so trying to get this girl to visit me.
Been sorting some family stuff too.

This week:
Get car fixed and back on the road
Get back on diet/ try not to blow up over Christmas
Keep up gym sessions
Keep progressing PE
Get new retinol as current stuff is too harsh
Keep working through therapy/inner work materials
I've bought some HCG and clomid so need to decide whether to cruise or end my cycle- I really want to get rid of this ED/PIED mental block first before changing my hormones up and potentially dropping libido.
Restart no-fap streak, failed after a date this Friday lol
 
Sewerdog said:
Updates:
Had covid and car needs fixing so been a quiet week.
Can't get to garage till Thurs so trying to get this girl to visit me.
Been sorting some family stuff too.

This week:
Get car fixed and back on the road
Get back on diet/ try not to blow up over Christmas
Keep up gym sessions
Keep progressing PE
Get new retinol as current stuff is too harsh
Keep working through therapy/inner work materials
I've bought some HCG and clomid so need to decide whether to cruise or end my cycle- I really want to get rid of this ED/PIED mental block first before changing my hormones up and potentially dropping libido.
Restart no-fap streak, failed after a date this Friday lol
Click to expand...

Nice hearing from you, brother. Keep up the solid progress!
 
Made a huge step forwards today, finally was able to finish to a blowjob which sounds silly but it means I'm finally out of my head enough to get rid of my ED.
Tried missionary in her car but I can't move around in there lol, still got really hard and she said it might be too big for her as its the first time seeing it like that.
Made her cum twice though, once from oral then made out for a bit and she kept saying she was soaked so I took the hint and she got a vibrator out the glove box lmao and I made her cum with that.

Lessons learned:
Trust my body as it seems to know what to do instinctually and my brain just gets in the way. I've been thinking about sex jn a really autistic mechanical way when it just has to be experienced. That said I'm starting to find some triggers that really get me going and out of my head and she knows them too now which is useful.
The psychological aspect is massive for women: I know she likes to read erotic novels and had a really good one liner which made her go wild haha.

Feeling very motivated, pleased with myself that I went to the gym and maintained my defecit today too.

Thanks MakingAComeback natedawg I was feeling really down about a month ago and your posts really helped.
 
Sewerdog said:
Made a huge step forwards today, finally was able to finish to a blowjob which sounds silly but it means I'm finally out of my head enough to get rid of my ED.
Tried missionary in her car but I can't move around in there lol, still got really hard and she said it might be too big for her as its the first time seeing it like that.
Made her cum twice though, once from oral then made out for a bit and she kept saying she was soaked so I took the hint and she got a vibrator out the glove box lmao and I made her cum with that.

Lessons learned:
Trust my body as it seems to know what to do instinctually and my brain just gets in the way. I've been thinking about sex jn a really autistic mechanical way when it just has to be experienced. That said I'm starting to find some triggers that really get me going and out of my head and she knows them too now which is useful.
The psychological aspect is massive for women: I know she likes to read erotic novels and had a really good one liner which made her go wild haha.

Feeling very motivated, pleased with myself that I went to the gym and maintained my defecit today too.

Thanks @MakingAComeback @natedawg I was feeling really down about a month ago and your posts really helped.
Click to expand...

That's all you man. You're showing up and doing the work.

Keep crushing it!
 
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