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Noself’s AA Program Log Day 46: Milestone Day

Noself said:
Is anybody else doing the program right now? Maybe we can Whatsapp or chat on a messaging app.

Dude love how you've revived your own thread, wouldn't have discovered if not.
Also this makes doing the program seem less daunting.

To answer your question I'm working on completing day 2 this week - main challenge I have is that I live in a small town with very low volume + it's raining a lot these days which makes going out overall just a big pain in the ass..
 
Day 25a REDONE: LUNCHTIME
Total: 9/15 girls
I decided to do a redo of Day 25 because I counted multiple approaches for multiple girls. Today, a range of emotions ran through me, my AA was pretty high, because I felt shitty about having to do the drill again. I fucking hate this shit, I've never felt so shameful and embarrassed in my life. I had 2 bad reactions today, one woman thought I was going to pull out a weapon of some kind from my pocket because I pulled my hands out of my pockets in the middle of the drill. The second reaction was on a girl that I accidently approached twice, I didn't count her as an approach. She said "are you fucking serious, go away." The rest of the reactions were just neutral, I don't know came up a lot, and two girls said Chick-fil-A or pizza. I talked to a greeter in front of a Victoria's Secret, a tall, skinny, handsome, black guy, I told him about the program and that I'm doing social experiments and shit. He said I should just be more confident with girls, duh..... but I felt a slight undertone from him saying that I'm probably wasting my time with this program. I felt a sense of doubt in doing the program, but for me, it's more about getting used to rejection, which is a universal human emotion that unconsciously controls all of our decisions with other people. I felt like shit today, I really did, onto Day 25b and 26.

https://youtu.be/sRf164IRMp8
 
Noself said:
Day 25a REDONE: LUNCHTIME
Total: 13/15 girls
I decided to do a redo of Day 25 because I counted multiple approaches for multiple girls. Today, a range of emotions ran through me, my AA was pretty high, because I felt shitty about having to do the drill again. I fucking hate this shit, I've never felt so shameful and embarrassed in my life. I had 2 bad reactions today, one woman thought I was going to pull out a weapon of some kind from my pocket because I pulled my hands out of my pockets in the middle of the drill. The second reaction was on a girl that I accidently approached twice, I didn't count her as an approach. She said "are you fucking serious, go away." The rest of the reactions were just neutral, I don't know came up a lot, and two girls said Chick-fil-A or pizza. I talked to a greeter in front of a Victoria's Secret, a tall, skinny, handsome, black guy, I told him about the program and that I'm doing social experiments and shit. He said I should just be more confident with girls, duh..... but I felt a slight undertone from him saying that I'm probably wasting my time with this program. I felt a sense of doubt in doing the program, but for me, it's more about getting used to rejection, which is a universal human emotion that unconsciously controls all of our decisions with other people. I felt like shit today, I really did, onto the 2 approaches for Day 25b and 26.

https://youtu.be/sRf164IRMp8

You're putting in the effort and confronting your fears head on. You don't have anything to be ashamed of. Keep it up, you're doing great.
 
Noself said:
Do you guys count store employees?
I wouldn't. They are paid to be nice and receptive to you. Takes away the fear and uncertainty that you're meant to have in AA.

Haven't started this program yet (Tried day 1, got way too burned out, and I hope to try again in the future), but you inspire me.
 
Fuck it so now after careful thinking I've only done 9/15 girls for Day 25, excluding all of the store workers. FUCK, no more store workers now. And 4/10 girls for Day 26. I was just confused Chris didn't say anything specifically about it, he just said "ANYBODY THAT DOESN'T HAVE A PENIS" in one of the early audios so yeah....
 
Day 25b REDONE: LUNCHTIME
Total: 1 girl (10/15 girls)
Today, I really didn't feel like doing shit, I sat in my car for 30-45 mins in the mall parking lot. The one girl that I did do the drill was actually really kind and receptive, but I just was not in the mood today. I did another drill in Target but the girl left before I could actually finish, so frustrating beyond belief that none will stay for the whole drill. My mind was foggy today and I was pretty pissed really because of COVID, my location to do these drills, and my job, these all just get in the way of shit but fuck I'll still try even with these excuses.

https://youtu.be/jP11tylizCw
 
Day 25c REDONE: LUNCHTIME
Total: 5 girls (15/15 girls) (2 challenges.... I believe)
After 3 days, I finally finished this day today had roughly neutral reactions and one good reaction. The one good reaction said Chick-fil-A, the rest of the girls literally stared at me the whole time doing the drills this has to be the worst part. This felt totally cringy and weird, which is the point but man this is so out of line with my personality, I have a deep voice as it is so I sound like a creeper doing this shit. There were at least 5 girls that I approached but did not give me the time to do the whole sequence of questions. My AA was very low, but I decided to go home after this day's drills to give myself a sense of a "win" after the rough stretch of days so far.

Day 26a REDONE:
WHO'S YOUR DADDY?
Total: 1 girl (5/10 girls)
The one approach today for this drill was a pair of girls that were leaving an Urban Outfitters, they were receptive and laughed at the whole drill. I'm starting to notice that my voice is becoming more louder, clear, and demanding because I have to be able to stop these girls and get their attention.

https://youtu.be/a0CfZdhs038
 
Day 26b REDONE: WHO'S YOUR DADDY?
Total: 5 girls (10/10 girls) (0 challenges)
Fucking done with this day, by far the worst day so far, I hated this shit. The reactions were neutral but I approached up to probably 30 girls for this fucking drill but none of them were staying for the whole sequence of questions. The first girl, just stared at me the whole time, and asked "What is this?" I believe, I can't remember the second girl. The third girl just stared at me the whole time, then fourth girl just kept asking "What is this?" Then the last girl, just stared at me the whole time. I honestly think they were more afraid than I was. Onto Day 27, this day needs to burn in hell, have a miscarriage, stub it's toe, and fucking needs to be squeezed by a black hole so none of its matter can stand the test of time.

https://youtu.be/nUki6mruqNQ
 
You should count employees. I was always afraid to approach workers. I've only done it by accident. So you actually deserve more credit than you think for doing the drills on them. I mean, if you approach in those stores again, same time same day another week, they'll more likely remember you. Then you'll have to work harder to not give AF.

Days 27 and 28 were probably the hardest for me IIRC. I did it in maybe July when the Delta variant was burgeoning in the US. It's much more dangerous than the shit going around today. Nevertheless, women were generally cool or neutral with it. I did all of the approaches by the side or by the front. Don't do it from behind—that's gonna enforce bad approach habits down the road.

No excuses dude. Not just some tuff guy advice... a tap on the clothed shoulder ain't gonna do nothing.

Your comments in some of these videos mirror the exasperation I had doing the program. I got a pretty dumb sense of humor and there was nothing funny about the Arnold drill. I approached close to 100 women on that day alone. If you got thru that drill, you can probably get thru the next 3 weeks.

Good job dude.
 
Day 27a: WHERE'S THE BEACH BRO?
Total: 11 girls (11/20)
My AA was through the roof prior to the drills, I had to wait about 30 mins before the first rep. The first rep was the most awkward and cringiest thing I've done in my life I had reach across my body to tap the girl, my index finger was literally pointing at her before the touch, I said "Bro, I gotta question" then dipped. My fucking lord my soul was taken after that first rep, I stayed in a Bloomingdale's for about 40 mins before the next rep, contemplating life. I called CainGettingLaid on WhatsApp just to get some support and to hear a voice. We talked about the program and he calmed me down with a 5-breath meditation. After the short meditation, there was a girl standing next to a stand of something (idk) she was at least an 8/10, soft spoken, mixed race of something but I did the tap and unfortunately botched the lines, I forgot to say "Where's the beach, bro?"I just left and grabbed my phone which was still on the WhatsApp phone call with Cain, I left the store and preceded to end the call with him. I still counted this as a rep for another set though. The next 2 reps were in an H&M, one on two white girls and a mother with a kid, the first interaction resulted in laughs as I flexed for 5 secs, the second resulted in an awkward stare, flexing for 10 secs. The girls I flexed on prior to this rep, could clearly see me do this again and were laughing even more. Fifth girl, for the challenge I can't even remember what she looked like or how the challenge went. Sixth girl, was a black girl walking behind as I was talking to a sales person (male) about the program, he literally got goosebumps from me describing the "WHO'S YOUR DADDY?" drill. I tapped the girl and asked the question then left, no problem right in front of the salesperson. Seventh girl was entering a ZARA, she was on the phone, same thing, tap, question, beach question, she kept asking "Beaches in New Jersey?" This mall is literally in the middle of the state with water to be found in an 1 hr+30 minute radius. Eighth girl was in front of SHAKE SHACK, really cute short light-skin black girl with two nose rings, she was receptive and laughing the whole time to me flexing for 5 secs. Ninth girl, was sitting down and I boldly reach down to her shoulder, I again botched the line saying "Hey, bro where's the beach" then saying "Bro, I gotta question" then repeating "Where's the beach bro?" She laughed and said is "this a dare?" I flexed for 10 secs, saying "I look sexy and good for the beach" She erupted into more laughter. Tenth girl, Indian Chick late 20s at Zara? I believe said the drill then did the challenge, there was another girl shopping right behind here just ignoring me flex for 30 secs, I did the lat-diamond pose, triceps squeeze, double bicep. Last girl, I approached from the side just 10 secs after I did the challenge, tapped her then asked the question, we stared for a good 2 secs, then she said "you called me bro?" I just left. After the challenge my AA was completely none existent, for this drill it's easier to do it in individual stores where chicks are stationary, I got blown off once by girls walking behind me, that I turned away do an approach.

https://youtu.be/vnDKcxDJTdY
 
As for being able to write detailed logs, I diaried day 26 on my phone while doing it, the rest is from memory.

Noself said:
I called @CainGettingLaid on WhatsApp just to get some support and to hear a voice. We talked about the program and he calmed me down with a 5-breath meditation.

That was nice bro. U did it!

For anyone wondering, the meditation goes like this: Close your eyes (works best sitting), breathe in slowly and deeply through your nose, breathe out calmly. Do this 5 times. Start concentrating on your fear, feel it deeply, don't fight it. After the 5th breath, let the fear go. Then open your eyes. Works like a charm I swear. MakingAComeback you should try this during your drills when the anxiety is bad. You could also try concentrating on your rage in this way and then letting it go.

Noself said:
I was talking to a sales person (male) about the program, he literally got goosebumps from me describing the "WHO'S YOUR DADDY?" drill.

THIS

offwego said:
You should count employees. I was always afraid to approach workers. I've only done it by accident. So you actually deserve more credit than you think for doing the drills on them. I mean, if you approach in those stores again, same time same day another week, they'll more likely remember you. Then you'll have to work harder to not give AF.

I think there is one day where Chris mentions to not count them, that's the bathroom drill. Makes sense to not count there. Otherwise yeah I agree it depends on whether that's easier or harder for you than "normal" girls.

Welcome back offwego :lol:
 
Day 27b: WHERE'S THE BEACH BRO?
Total: 9 girls (20/20 girls)(4 challenges)
After yesterday I felt highly motivated to complete this day and possibly Day 28, 29, 30 today, but I just got tired and it's cold as shit nearly 20ºF (-6ºC). The motivation went down after I completed today and I decided to watch American Football instead at a sports bar, my anxiety in normal social settings (not doing AA) is dead fucking zero, the only times I feel tense are when people surprise or get my attention. I've always had insecurities about my voice, mostly being deep compared to my face and stature (5'6-5'7), after AA I plan to do vocal lessons just so I can gain control of my voice and sound more charismatic I guess. With my voice I've always had trouble speaking coherent sentences and go off topic a lot when I try to describe and explain my emotions to people. Back to the drill (AA and procrastination pretty high) , nothing notable today except the fourth challenge I did on an Arab-looking girl sitting down at the food court, I did the tap and she was startled, quickly reaching for her mask, I asked the question then did the posing. While I was posing she tried to record me on Snapchat, I felt nothing, nothing, I wasn't worried how many people were looking, this was a busy day and the food court is right in the center of the mall, so people were definitely looking at me. All the girls today were attractive, I'm glad that I approached one girl walking out of store, stopped her, tap, then asked the line, then dipped. She was pretty attractive, and started chasing me to ask a question but I waved her off saying "I"m good." The last challenge was on a girl in an Express with her husband nearby, tap, line, question, flexed for 30 secs, the awkward part of this drill is when they stop talking to you but are still nearby (maybe 5-10 ft) and you are still flexing, after awhile they just stop looking at you. I'm happy with today, this drill really tests you because you are making yourself look like a lunatic in front of everybody and not just the girl. Onto Day 28. OH SHIT! I forgot to mention, I laid down in the middle of the mall on the floor for a minute too.

https://youtu.be/xeqv5IEGCIQ
 
Noself said:
I felt nothing, nothing, I wasn't worried how many people were looking, this was a busy day and the food court is right in the center of the mall, so people were definitely looking at me.
Fucking great!
Noself said:
OH SHIT! I forgot to mention, I laid down in the middle of the mall on the floor for a minute too.
Hahah for real thats crazy good.

You're making great progress. Just keep at it. The rewards are coming.
Btw your voice is cool, I don't hear anything weird.

suuuup offwego
 
Noself said:
I've always had insecurities about my voice, mostly being deep compared to my face and stature (5'6-5'7), after AA I plan to do vocal lessons just so I can gain control of my voice and sound more charismatic I guess. With my voice I've always had trouble speaking coherent sentences and go off topic a lot when I try to describe and explain my emotions to people.

I wish I had your voice. It's very deep and masculine. No matter how tall you are, having that type of voice is a great quality.
 
Day 28a: NERD GLASSES
Total: 1 girl (1/16 girls)
Didn't feel like really doing anything today, AA was pretty high, still can't get over the tapping part. I feel like my mind is trying to use COVID as an excuse to be worried so much about the tapping part. I still wanted to at least get one approach in to keep the momentum going, I felt tired all day and really was not in the mood, the one girl that I did a rep on was a blonde, 30s maybe, tapped, asked to ask a question, stared at her for 2 secs then dipped. The whole dipping after asking for a question is hilarious and girls constantly get geeked up over the absurdity of the drill. But that was it for today.
https://youtu.be/IH1PJobndOw
 
Day 28b: NERD GLASSES
Total: 4 girls (5/16 girls)
Hardly any attractive girls in the mall today, I arrived when the mall was about to close in 1 hour. 3 of the drills today were on store workers, I know I promised no store workers but I couldn't find anybody, all of the stores had less than 5 people inside and hardly any attractive girls. Onto Day 28c.

https://youtu.be/16nxUTO2lOo
 
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