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Noself’s AA Program Log Day 46: Milestone Day

Day 28d: NERD GLASSES
Total: 8 girls (17/16 girls)(0 challenge)
I can hardly remember any of the girls from this day, as I am posting this a day after, but I finished the drill. Not too difficult, the drill was more forgiving because asking where to find nerd glasses is probably an acceptable question. The rest of the responses that you give are not really crazy, but can be weird if the girl is completely talking about something else. All of the reactions were neutral or positive, none of the girls really cared that I tapped them, the only time I think a girl had a problem with the tapping was on Day 27, when a girl jumped back in shock from me tapping as I approached her from about the front (10 o'clock from her view). Yeah I totally overestimated how tapping was going to go down especially with COVID. I did the challenge once on two black girls, tapped, said the questions, then held my nuts in for the challenge, dear fucking god I could feel my stomach just tighten up from me saying "would you...." then release when the "fuck me if I wore” came out. I just said glasses instead of nerd/hipster, I only said glasses because the girls didn’t know what I was talking about in terms of glasses, so maybe I just lost frame control and I’m pretty undecided to count this as a challenge rep, I’ll just repeat the challenge later. They were just like "huh?..... oh no....." I think they were saying no in like a disappointed way at me being so out of social norms like a fellow human cringing at another human for their "mistake", like a "did you really just do that" but alas I just left and the world opened up to me, that was the most aggressive thing I've done in the program, pretty ballsy but I fucking did it.

Day 29a: SUPER HI-FIVES
Total: 5 girls (5/10 girls)
This day is surprisingly fun because of the lack of brutal dialogue that the last couple of days has had, but this day is also frustrating, I approached nearly 19-20 girls but only 5 gave me proper double hi-fives, 2 of the 19, occurred when I approach two girls at once but both girls just gave me a single hand each at the same time, I decided not to count this, I should've been more aggressive and just asked for both hands from each girl but I wimped out, one of these group of girls had two black girls, that asked me in a joking, funny way "who are you?" like I was a Youtube prankster or something, I said my name and they gave me theirs, they kept asking me questions (I forgot what they asked) but they were mad interested in me thinking I was cold approaching them but I just left. I approached two 9/10 girls for the double hi-fives but got shot down for "COVID" I missed the initial approach as they were far away from me but I circle back in front of them to say "super!" then gesture for the hi-fives, they rejected it but I pointed out how one didn't have a mask on ironically defeating her reason for saying "COVID." Fun but frustrating day so far.

Extra: I decided to troll a massage parlor after the drills by asking for a happy ending.

https://youtu.be/kgEsQSwZHI8

https://youtu.be/pzlXmJ5k-nE
 
Day 29b: SUPER HI-FIVES
Total: 1 girl (6/10 girls)
Today was a short session with at least 8 approaches to girls and only 1 accepted the double hi-five, a girl by a T-shirt section in a Spencer's. AA was so low today, as this session lasted about 20 minutes, I've just started to accept that this is just going to suck and the girls that will respond, respond. So far for this day, I've approached 27..28 girls, so that is a lot of volume and great exposure therapy for this one day.

https://youtu.be/Bd0LuDpIrl4
 
Day 29c: SUPER HI-FIVES
Total: 0 girls (6/10 girls)
Did about 11-12 girls today in approaches but couldn't get any of them to give me the double hi-five, this day is going to take awhile I feel it, I just need to put more volume in to get more compliance. I'm trying to smile more and even wore a pink sweater today to hopefully give the impression that I'm not threatening to get more compliance. I leave for a business trip tomorrow so the program will be on halt until further notice, sucks because I want to keep the momentum going. This momentum is crazy right now and the amount of social freedom that I have right now is ridiculous. This program is totally worth it, and this is just Day 29.

https://youtu.be/e0x1Br44B9M
 
Noself said:
Is anybody else doing the program right now? Maybe we can Whatsapp or chat on a messaging app.
Click to expand...

Noself Yeah bro, I’m doing it right now, I’m on day 10. Were are you though? You haven’t posted in a couple weeks. Come back!
 
Job is really getting in the way, fuck won’t be able to do drills until Saturday hopefully.
 
Hey man

Im still doing this program and Crimson is also doing it I think. Lets start a whatsapp gc and keep it going from there
 
Day 29d: SUPER HI-FIVES
Total: 0 girls (6/10 girls)
Did a total of 3 girls today in approaches, but got 0 proper double hi-fives in return, I did get a double hi-five from a store worker but we both approached each other at the same time and said hi before, then I slipped in the "can I get a double hi-five". I'm not going to count this rep, the second approach was on two girls in an American Eagle. Both of the girls initially complied but only gave me one hand per arm, not both hands, I asked them for both arms but they didn't want to give me both hands, I asked about 3 times then just walked away. A girl nearby witnessed what I was doing and saying that if they reject you already then you shouldn't ask again, but I decided to talk to her to explain I'm just doing social experiments to be a creep/weirdo on purpose.

https://youtu.be/sPd63ptga98
 
Day 29e: SUPER HI-FIVES
Total: 4 girls (10/10 girls)
Finished this day, such a frustrating day where you just look stupid the whole time. AA was pretty high today, I really didn't feel like doing this drill at all today but I pushed through to go out at least. At first I did a set of 20 push-ups two times in the middle of the mall floor to get warmed up I guess. I probably approached like 14-15 girls today for the double hi-five, 2 girls were store employees and 1 worked at a kiosk, I did approach random girls that didn't work at a store but only got 1 random girl. Some notable reactions today, 1 girl asked "Do I know you?" I said "No" then still asked for the double hi-five. There were two attractive girls wearing green coats with dogs in their hands that I tried to ask for the double hi-five, I'm just proud I approached them honestly. Then another girl in Zara who was a 9/10, that I asked but got totally blown off, still proud of just attempting. Last girl I tried to approached wasn't the best looking-girl but her reaction was hilarious, she asked me what day it is, then the year, then the numeral date of the day, I forgot what day it was and said "Feb 7th, 8th, 9th.... fuck I don't know". Next she asked "you do know we're in a pandemic?" I replied "I'm just a time-traveler bro".... LMAOOOO she just walked by me and I said "thank you, I love you (so much)." I did this a couple of times when the girls rejected me, saying "I love you" after. I'll probably do some extra reps for this day and redo the ABC day just for fun until Friday so I can stay in this "flow" for Day 30.

https://youtu.be/bBhJz8WoffI
 
Congratulations for pushing through man.

Listened to your vlog yesterday and wanted to reply but didn't make time for it.

Wanted to thank you for your vulnerability and for sharing your struggle out there. You shouldn't listen to other people, you're on your own path and fuck them if they want to be dependant on alcohol or other things to live life. You are taking the hard path and that's why they can't understand. Unfortunately, there isn't any "reward" at the end except for personal satisfaction but I think it's still worth it.

Keep going man, you're almost there, you're among the brave ones.
 
I'll try to at least do something today, I have to catch up with these drawing courses.
 
Day 30: HIT & RUN (SQUEEZE THEN SAY NICE/CUTE)
Total: 28 girls (28/20 girls)
This was a life changing day, and a pivotal moment for me in the program, holy fuck I'm at a lost for words. The following will be a couple of notes that I wrote on my phone during the drill when I couldn't execute. The whole day prior to the drills I kept saying, "I'm scared, I'm scared." I went into the bar/club and felt the incredible amount of anxiety as there were 6 or 7 security guards around the bar, talking to the girl charging my card to get in was nerve-racking too as I knew what I was here for. I went to the bathroom because I had to piss or was I using this as a form of AA, I kept saying to myself there is "so many security guards" I go upstairs to the dancefloors and back down 2 times walking in circles. Then, I lightly touched 2 girls on the arm but it was half-assed and not a firm squeeze. "I keep going in and out of rooms, wtf. They have bfs, the guards keep looking at me." Is what I repeated to myself. My first rep, was a flash, squeezing the girl's arm from behind then saying nice but not even looking at her. After the first rep I had idle time and procrastinated by sitting at the bar for 10 mins. My thoughts: "This is so fucking awkward. Fucking walking up and down staying at the bar and asking for a fucking water, there is literally 8 girls next to you, just fucking do the drill. You just asked for water to buy the time." What happened next was insane, I was texting isomar1998, saying that my AA is so high right now, he gave me some pep talk and I texted him a countdown, 5..4...3..2...1....at the end of 1, I grabbed 9 girls' arms saying nice in less than a minute to complete the first set. My god, I felt like vomiting so bad after doing that, I went outside for a bit to comprehend what just happened and also to just calm down my nausea. There was a 1-2 minute break and I started set 2, with 2 girls that were standing in front of me, grabbed both their arms at the same time saying cute to both of them, next girl, then a fourth. There was a group of 4 girls that I just went through in like 15 secs, then the last reps was a group of 5 girls and I just did all of them. One girl said, "Oh he's just walking around saying cute to everyone." after I reached across about 3-5 ft. in between her friend, reached across and squeezed her arm, looked her in the eyes saying cute. I went upstairs to do 2 extra reps then went back stairs and squeezed 6 girls in a row, walking behind each other in succession as they were all coming up the stairs. One girl said, "Thank you" -laughing at the same time. I never in my life thought I could do that, and I cannot comprehend what just happened, it's like my brain's sense of reality is breaking down, all the years of putting down my value as a person is now becoming unjustified. After the drill, I grabbed a beer at the bar and smiled the night away.

https://youtu.be/38M6k60stJM
 
Day 31: REFLECTION (No drills)
-No drills today for Day 31, Chris has asked us to reflect to see where we are mentally after 30 days. It’s been longer for me, about 4 months since I started the drills in Late September 2021.

Which single drill was the hardest for you?
-This is toss up between Day 29 and 26….. and a little bit of the days where you have to get in there for the time. Day 26 and 29 were specifically hard for me because of the amount of volume at which you’re getting rejected and embarrassing yourself probably in total approached 100 girls for both days combined. For the week 4 drills, you are supposed to get compliance and I think Chris wanted us to get blown out of the water so much that our outcome dependence gets annihilated and it does after both of these days. The get in there for the time days were challenging too because it is so easy procrastinating when you’re given a tight window like that, I may redo some of those days over again.

How are things going so far?
-Things are going great, my confidence is through the fucking roof. I feel like I’m discarding a huge part of myself, and creating a new. This is like a mass therapy session where all of my past rejections leak out and you have to face them. I felt like I didn’t belong in this community when I started the program, I thought it was cringy being in a place talking about struggling with women and on the surface level it appears more pick-uppy. I feel like a different person, and it took a lot from me to admit that my lack of success with women was causing a good portion of my emotional distress, but it was true and I’m finally facing it.

How does the future look?
-The future looks amazing, from doing the program I’ve decided to go all in, pursing a career as an artist, I’m scared as hell to do that but this program told me that my fears are not justified and I know it will take a lot of work but I have to do this before I die. My confidence is high right now, but I haven’t had any crazy “good” reactions yet, so I’m at a tipping point where I have confidence because I’m doing the drills but not enough confidence with having success in approaching women. I know I’m better than other people but I don’t have the evidence yet to prove that if you can say. This is the most memorable thing that I’ve done and I can’t imagine what else I would’ve done without the program.
 
Day 32: MR.SUNSHINE
Total: 21 girls (21/18, 2 challenges)
Today we returned back to basics, time and directions, but with the added compliments. This day was fairly easy but tedious because the 'time' approach is getting so fucking old, but I understand that this is to further enforce the habit or approaching in itself. I got "in there" with the first rep coming in the parking lot of the mall, boom, that just led to so much momentum and my AA was so low. I can't even remember the girls, and sometimes I forget if I've done the reps on girls I've seen in the mall, thinking maybe I'll accidently approach them twice. I'm getting better at stopping girls that are approaching me straight on in the middle of the mall, which is promising because I used to be scared of other people watching me. One funny thing did happen, I approached two girls that were walking towards me and a dude behind me must have saw and said something but I couldn't hear exactly as I was talking, but it was in the tone of praising me. One regret that I had today was not approaching a very hot short girl walking towards me, fucking living with that sucks. I tried to do the challenge 3 times but botch the lines for the 3rd attempt of the drill, doing time, direction, compliment instead, but I found the day very tedious compared to the torture of last week. Every time I'm facing sometime of hardship in my life I'm thinking of the Day 30 drill which was the most 'fuck it' moment that I've had in the program, it reminds me that these rules created by the mind are all bullshit and that I can/will expand my consciousness by not being a slave to my body.

https://youtu.be/NA8MdumKvRc
 
Day 33a: MR.CLUMSY
Total: 2 girls (2/20 girls)
Felt incredibly tired today but still wanted to go out and get some reps in, this day and yesterday seems tedious to me. After scaring the shit out of myself on Day 30, everything just seems so bleak in comparison. I stayed locally for today's drills which I normally don't do because the malls around here are shit and 50% of the girls are overweight/obese, fuck I wish I lived in the city. But both approaches were in a Target, 2 girls walking towards me and 1 girl that I had to circle around the aisle to get the rep, she looked attractive from behind but not in the front. Will hit it again tomorrow, I'm so close I can taste it, 13 more days boys.

https://youtu.be/YfsvMF184l0
 
Day 33b: MR.CLUMSY
Total: 9 girls (11/20 girls)
Today was pretty awkward, I only had about 30 minutes to get some reps in as the malls were closing. Maybe I should go to the university nearby me to get some drills in, they close at 4:30 pm, and I get off work at 3:00 pm so there is some slim margin of getting drills done there too. But back to the drill, 9 girls today and like I said it’s pretty fucking awkward but not hard it’s just the girls think the conversation is over and you have to reel them back into the conversation. The upcoming weekend should give me plenty of time to do drills so there is that, I missed two girls that I should’ve definitely approached but my fucking AA kicked in. Welp, this day is tedious and funny depending on the girl, I did one girl where I asked “where is the Chick-fil-A ?” but the restaurant was right in front of us same for a Five Guys on another girl. This drill causes me to stutter too because the sentences are so fucking incoherent and don’t make sense. Just gotta continue tomorrow.

https://youtu.be/u1lvUG_Pfuk
 
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