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notAndy's AA Program Log - Day 46. Finished :)

Day 39b

I made a beautiful discovery today. When a girl is really receptive and I give her a compliment, for a split second or so, something in her cracks and she just melts. It is absolutely heartwarming to witness.

Other than some really good reactions I - again - got some lukewarm and some neutral ones.

One time I decided to say "you're really hot" instead of cute. I wanted to know what that felt like.
To my surprise it wasn't really more difficult. Maybe it was because I wasn't super attracted to her but I felt like the words should get me feel more excited/nervous. I'll probably play around with different phrasings and get plenty more reps under my belt before I make a definite statement.

LESSONS LEARNED
- I can tell a girl "you're hot"

https://youtu.be/1B1cxTejX5I
 
Day 40a

Walk up to and stop 10 girls and say "Hey, wait a second- you're cute." say your name and leave.
Walk up to and stop 10 girls and say "Hey, wait a second- you're cute." say your name and put your hand up for a high five. Leave after you get a high-five.

♥ Refer to "Do What You Want Principle" (explained on Day 39)

Repeat this 2 times, you will speak to 40 girls.

Maybe 3:30 PM was too late to go out but there the streets were pretty empty. I think Sundays tend to be slower in general because shops are closed but I try to look for things that are in my control to improve my odds. So, next Sunday if I go out, I'll do so earlier and see if that makes a difference.

Still got 5 reps out of it (last one was after recording the vlog). I decided to go for high-fives right away, because why not. Every girl I complimented loved it and was more than willing to give me a high-five.

https://youtu.be/VhjGxgNNGkY
 
Thanks for recording these! I just started the program and going to watch your corresponding videos for confidence lol
 
Sooo, I've taken an (unplanned) break but I'm back. Did a few short sessions on Saturday, yesterday and today.
I think I'm at 14 out of 40.

Today I felt weird during the approaches. I was hyper-aware of my facial musculature and couldn't really relax. The three approaches I did felt rather robotic and the responses I got were equally cold (polite but devoid of emotions).

Oh well, let's see how tomorrow will go.

https://youtu.be/AjCXaY_BkRw
 
bonzo34 said:
you got this. every little bit counts
Click to expand...

Thanks man, I appreciate that.

bluewater said:
Thanks for recording these! I just started the program and going to watch your corresponding videos for confidence lol
Click to expand...

Good luck and have fun (seriously, this is mostly fun). I suggest you don't look ahead. Just take one drill at a time and don't worry about what will come tomorrow (or a week later).
 
First of all I want to thank bonzo34. He noticed that I hadn't posted in a while and last week sent me a message, offering to get on a call and help me get through this. I really fucking appreciate that man, you're an absolute legend! Thank you.

So, for the past few weeks I've been kinda struggling with this drill. For some reason, virtually every single girl I approached, ignored me, stonewalled me, sneered at me etc.
I didn't know what had changed and why this was such a night and day difference compared to days 38 and 39 which are not much different from day 40.

Chris makes it clear that you're not supposed to care about the reactions you get but, it's really difficult not to care when almost all you get is negativity.
Despite me working on the program almost every day, I didn't finish many reps (being ignored makes it difficult to get a high-five).

However, today was different. For some reason my approaches felt different.
After stopping a girl, I hesitated a second before I told her she was cute. And the words "I think you're really cute" also felt more ... I don't know, vulnerable maybe? Or authentic? And every single woman was really sweet.

I don't know what caused that change. Maybe I was just done with pretending I was unbothered by their responses and that made me actually show some humanity. 🤷

I don't care, honestly. What matters is that I feel like a heavy burden has been lifted off my shoulders. I'm halfway through the drill and I've got a hunch that it's not going to take me another five weeks to finish it.

https://youtu.be/HwqtAScfxQQ
 
It's been five months since I finished day 40. That drill took me god knows how many weeks. I never recorded another vlog and pretty much dropped the AA Program after that (or approaching in general).

Until today. Day 41 done.

I was somewhat concerned that I would be back to square one. Much to my surprise, calling girls cute was actually the easiest part. What was hardest was getting two high-fives. Actually no, getting two was easy. But thinking about getting two gave me anxiety.
I felt a bit rusty but in general I was at the same level I was at, when I stopped - no, I was doing an even better job. I finished 20 reps in one day, not several weeks.

Chris was absolutely right with what he said. If you beat AA, you beat it forever.

Also, thanks again to bonzo34 for checking in with me. It took me some time, but here I am.

Peace out

https://youtu.be/ZUDDMMyT4Pw
 
Day 42a

- Hey- you're cute, I'm [Name], Leave
- Hey- you're cute, I'm [Name], Handshake, Leave
- Hey- you're cute, I'm [Name], Handshake, Time, Leave
- Hey- you're cute, I'm [Name], Handshake, Time, Directions, Leave

16/20 done. I set a timer for 1h and got 13 reps in. Wanted to finish but after another three reps which took me 40mins, I realized I was really tired and won't get anything out of pushing through.

This was probably one of the best days during the program I've ever had. I was direct, very decisive (rarely hesitated) and was way less in my head than I usually am. Realized that AA doesn't exist when you are approaching, only when you're thinking about it.

A few girls didn't want to shake my hand, two outright said "I'm not interested"/"I have a boyfriend".
I really didn't care much about that. Feels good knowing I can handle rejection just fine.

Also social freedom is real. I did multiple approaches with several other people around and the moment I started talking to her, I stopped caring about any bystanders. Pretty cool.

https://youtu.be/6QWAmj0tj5E
 
Day 42 done. Nothing noteworthy happened.
Did set a timer again. It really helps to get me out of my head.

I will tackle day 43 next week.

https://youtu.be/0uuq0_vN1bI
 
Day 43

High Five, Hey- you're cute, Leave
High Five, Hey- you're cute, I'm [Name], Leave
High Five, Hey- you're cute, I'm [Name], Handshake, Leave
Repeat this 7 times, you will speak to 21 girls.


Took me three days to finish this one. On the first one I only finished one rep. After that one I didn't find anyone who was willing to give me a high-five and I was really in my head so I called it quits early.

Yesterday I did another 15. That was a stark contrast to the day before. It was easy, I felt confident and was super present. Couldn't finish because I had other plans that night.
Today I finished the drill after the gym. It feels good talking to women as part of my regular day instead of going out to do a drill.

https://youtu.be/urXGsC35w1U
 
Day 45

Walk up to a group of girls and give BOTH/ALL of them a high-five, Leave.
Walk up to a group of girls and give BOTH/ALL of them a high-five, say "You guys are cute,", Leave.
Walk up to a group of girls and give BOTH/ALL of them a high-five, say "You guys are cute,", I'm [Name], Leave.
Walk up to a group of girls and give BOTH/ALL of them a high-five, say "You guys are cute,", I'm [Name], Shake hands with at least 1 girl, Leave.
Repeat this 3 times, you will speak to 12 groups of girls.

Skipped day 44 (eye contact drill). I tried for an hour, got one rep in and then I found out that pretty much everyone else skipped it as well.

Day 45 was pretty good. It took me longer than expected since it's only twelve reps. However I didn't dedicate any time during the week to do the drill, but rather just did it whenever I was out.
Anyways, for the most part it was pretty easy. I've already done day 43 on some groups so there was nothing new here except the handshake. Only the last rep I head some problems with. Had to try three or four times before I got the handshake.

https://youtu.be/iFht53PQ4FI
 
Day 46

"I know this random but I thought you were cute and wanted to say hi", Leave.
"I know this random but I thought you were cute and wanted to say hi", I'm [Name], Leave.
"I know this random but I thought you were cute and wanted to say hi", I'm [Name], Handshake, Leave.
"I know this random but I thought you were cute and wanted to say hi", I'm [Name], Handshake, So.. tell me what your up to today, Leave.
Challenge: On the handshake- hold it until she noticeably takes her hand back.
Repeat this 6 times, you will speak to 24 girls.

And I'm fucking done!

Yesterday and today I went to Zurich with the sole purpose to finish the drill. That definitely helped with focus, even though the weather was shit.

I had plenty of AA before doing any approaches, but as soon as I committed myself to talking to someone, all the AA was gone. I think I've realized that before, but this drill made it absolutely crystal clear: The only way to get over approach anxiety is to approach.

The interactions were easy and fun. I felt relaxed and actually enjoyed talking to those women. I had one girl who really was into it. I almost wanted to stay there and continue talking, but I had a program to finish.

I feel, it'll take some days or weeks until the realization that I've finished the AA Program, and that I am a man who can talk to pretty much any woman on the street, has fully settled in. But still, I'm so grateful that I didn't quit and actually finished the remaining six days (after four or five months of inactivity). During those days I've seen that the program's gains are permanent, that I have become a different person and it's made me really fucking optimistic for the future. 2023 will be a good year.

Thanks to anyone who was supportive here on the forum and the AA accountability WhatsApp group, twonightstander, roykingatx. Special thanks to bonzo34 for reaching out when I didn't post an update in a while and helping me get through day 39/40.

And of course I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for Chris from GLL or KillYourInnerLoser. Without your podcast I wouldn't have found the program in the first place. Also, thank you to Manganiello, Toast and Dewm. You guys talking about your experience with the program really helped through some of the more difficult drills.

https://youtu.be/BKlwIIyGk4w

Happy new year :)
 
Dude amazing work! Love the fact that you got the final day in right at the end of 2022. Haven't followed your log at all but looking forward to seeing what you'll start to work on next.
 
notAndy said:
The only way to get over approach anxiety is to approach
Click to expand...
100%

notAndy said:
During those days I've seen that the program's gains are permanent, that I have become a different person and it's made me really fucking optimistic for the future. 2023 will be a good year
Click to expand...

Glad you finished this man. Such a meaningful and lasting achievement.

Not just that you can approach girls, but that you stuck it through til the end, and achieved something rare, that every guy wants to do, but very few can.

Even like 2 years later it still pays dividends.
 
notAndy said:
Day 46

"I know this random but I thought you were cute and wanted to say hi", Leave.
"I know this random but I thought you were cute and wanted to say hi", I'm [Name], Leave.
"I know this random but I thought you were cute and wanted to say hi", I'm [Name], Handshake, Leave.
"I know this random but I thought you were cute and wanted to say hi", I'm [Name], Handshake, So.. tell me what your up to today, Leave.
Challenge: On the handshake- hold it until she noticeably takes her hand back.
Repeat this 6 times, you will speak to 24 girls.

And I'm fucking done!

Yesterday and today I went to Zurich with the sole purpose to finish the drill. That definitely helped with focus, even though the weather was shit.

I had plenty of AA before doing any approaches, but as soon as I committed myself to talking to someone, all the AA was gone. I think I've realized that before, but this drill made it absolutely crystal clear: The only way to get over approach anxiety is to approach.

The interactions were easy and fun. I felt relaxed and actually enjoyed talking to those women. I had one girl who really was into it. I almost wanted to stay there and continue talking, but I had a program to finish.

I feel, it'll take some days or weeks until the realization that I've finished the AA Program, and that I am a man who can talk to pretty much any woman on the street, has fully settled in. But still, I'm so grateful that I didn't quit and actually finished the remaining six days (after four or five months of inactivity). During those days I've seen that the program's gains are permanent, that I have become a different person and it's made me really fucking optimistic for the future. 2023 will be a good year.

Thanks to anyone who was supportive here on the forum and the AA accountability WhatsApp group, @twonightstander, @roykingatx. Special thanks to @bonzo34 for reaching out when I didn't post an update in a while and helping me get through day 39/40.

And of course I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for Chris from GLL or @KillYourInnerLoser. Without your podcast I wouldn't have found the program in the first place. Also, thank you to @Manganiello, @Toast and @Dewm. You guys talking about your experience with the program really helped through some of the more difficult drills.

https://youtu.be/BKlwIIyGk4w

Happy new year :)
Click to expand...

Congrats mate. Awesome work getting the AA program done. One of the best summers of my life and pivotal one. You've proven you are in a select group of men. Don't get me wrong: anyone CAN complete the AA program. But few DO complete it. This is an accomplishment no one can take from you. Welcome to the big leagues, and looking forward to seeing you crush your goals in 2023.
 
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