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On the path to a better self

Entry 4:

Gratitude

- I'm grateful that I got to know all my grand parents, they were all loving and kind people. Especially my mom's dad and my dad's mom.
- I'm grateful to be alive, we take that as granted but numerous people are dying every day for all kind of reasons
- When I mentioned the challenge of sending appreciation to 52 people in the next year, I knew that I knew that I count on that many people that I crossed path with, that I can send some appreciation to. I'm grateful to know to have that many people that I enjoyed meeting
- I'm grateful for the french passport, which makes it a lot easier to navigate this earth, compared to another passport like say, Cameroun
- I'm grateful for chicken. Because I fucking love eating them

Self appreciation

- I'm proud that I've been able to reinvent myself 2 years ago, professionally, by entering a new field during the hard time of Corona
- I'm proud of having done a road trip around eastern Europe
- I'm taking care of my body
- I'm have a nice and meaningful tattoo
- I'm always ready to help people, helping moms to carry strollers, old people carrying heavy stuff...


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Back home, I activated all the dating apps with the new pictures. Got a couple of ugly likes for now and match of an attractive woman on tinder (first one ever actually). So let's see how things go from there.
 
Entry 5:

Gratitude

- I'm grateful for music
- I'm grateful for Kizomba
- I'm grateful for being able to take hot shower in this winter season
- I'm grateful for having a gym 2min from my place
- I'm grateful for having nice roommates

Self appreciation

- When I felt lonely at the end of last year, I organised a small meetup and invited a guy to do rock climbing instead of wallowing in self pity
- A couple of years ago, I set a goal to be able to do muscle ups. I managed to do it decently
- I managed to get elected vice president of an organization back in the time. Ended up badly, but it's still an achievement
- A couple of years ago, I did another dancing show with a group of friends, the show was a success
- Always managed to keep a decent relationship with most of the women that I had a romantic situation with.

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Got a date planned for tomorrow. She's a bit of a plain Jane, but couldn't decide if I found her attractive enough or not from her pictures. So we'll see tomorrow. BUT, it's a fucking improvement compared to when I tried OLD in October/November where I got only 2 crushes from Happn that lead nowhere. Now in 1 day, I got a couple of matches and several likes across the different apps. And that's what I wanted, if I get 2-3 likes a day, it's still a massive improvement.

Baby step is the the way forward
 
Entry 6:

Gratitude

- I'm grateful for being able to work from home
- I'm grateful for Public transportation
- I'm grateful for women
- I'm grateful for sushis
- I'm grateful for the mangakas working their ass off to give us quality mangas (like One piece)

self appreciation

- I have approached women in the street. Not with consistency, but I already faced that fear. I have to give myself credit for at least have tried, and several times
- I have managed to improve my onlide dating profile to go from no match at all to get one date
- I have tried to launch my own business in online marketing
- I have climbed the mount Cameroun when I was in high School. Failed one year, then persevered and managed to go to the top the 2nd time
- I have volunteered several times to organisation to help homeless and poor people

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Just came back from my date. Happy because she's cute. We actually had a great time. No kiss or anything, but she seems quite down to meet again. Will see what happen, but I'm quite happy. I'm making real progress here.

Had 2 convos on bumble, when I started to pitch the idea of a real date, there were no more response. Ah well.

Just one baby step at a time
 
Hey bro, get effort and consistency! You're on the right path!!

I'm going to address something. Why you don't have a moustache ? Like you shave it, perhaps trim it the same length as your other facial hair.
 
ovnidos said:
I'm going to address something. Why you don't have a moustache ? Like you shave it, perhaps trim it the same length as your other facial hair.
Click to expand...

It doesn't look that good, I'd keep it if it was connecting nicely with my beard, but it doesn't. Also makes it smoother for the kiss and pussy licking haha
 
Entry 7:

Gratitude

- I'm grateful for video games, they've been a hella fun, even though they also caused some light addiction issues
- I'm grateful for technologies that allow us to keep in touch with people all around the world
- I'm grateful for meditation
- I'm grateful for the fact that it was sunny today here
- I'm grateful for having had a nice and long chat with my roommate earlier

Self appreciation

- I handled my first date in a while pretty well. was a bit nervous beforehand but managed it well
- I managed to power through laziness and have a decent and productive day at work today
- I'm not judgemental, as long as people don't bother me, every one is free to do whatever they want, even if I don't agree with their philosophy
- I can be fun to be around, I'm not a clown but I can get some laugh here and there
- I'm a decent chess player, even though I don't play so much

------------------------------------------

I should have date n°2 with yesterday's girl on Friday evening. Getting some matches there and there on apps. Most of them don't reply to the 1st message. Stole the opener of TacoLover "Hey [name], you look like a woman I'll go on a date with. Funny, right ?". So far, only one girl replied haha. Tried other messages on Hinge, replying to the bio or just Andy's message. It's a number's game and just need to try a bunch of different shit. We're making progress, small one, but progress nonetheless.

Started meditating again, I always wonder why I stop. This is one of the few thing that I feel has an immediate impact on my well being. I feel already calmer and happier from a couple of days of practice. I do it when I woke up during the night, instead of letting my mind wander aimlessly. Too often my thoughts go to my ex. Now it's less and less. Happy about that

Just one baby step at a time
 
SpongeBob said:
Getting some matches there and there on apps. Most of them don't reply to the 1st message.
Click to expand...

get a baseline for how many matches per day or per boost. Then switch out first pic to your profile pic and see if it makes a difference. It's not from the best angle (too high) but might build more trust than the one i recommended.

I don't have time to get into messaging right now. your response rates will improve with better photos but i generally recommend ppl open with a compliment for something the girl chose for herself + cold read hook
 
Entry 8:

Gratitude

- I'm grateful for plane, to be able to fly across country is a blessing
- I'm grateful for glasses and lenses, being able to see perfectly when I physically can't
- I'm grateful for being able to walk normally
- I'm grateful for not having any mental disabilities
- I'm grateful for streaming music platforms

Self appreciation

- When I was in primary school, I stood up to a group of guys that were bullying me
- During new year, I intervened in a fight and calmed down the agressive one
- When I was in college, I organised a nice party for international students
- I managed to get into IT without any degrees
- Always ready to learn something new. Next skill on my list to try: beat making.

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Rags2Bitches said:
get a baseline for how many matches per day or per boost. Then switch out first pic to your profile pic and see if it makes a difference. It's not from the best angle (too high) but might build more trust than the one i recommended.

I don't have time to get into messaging right now. your response rates will improve with better photos but i generally recommend ppl open with a compliment for something the girl chose for herself + cold read hook
Click to expand...

Yes, I plan to play with boosts during the week end to see what's up. I basically get at least one match a day on Bumble, tinder and Hinge. On Happn, the likes are accumulating quite a bit, it's by far the most profitable in terms of like, only thing is that I don't match because I think I don't come across the girls that matched me. But the few I did were quite attractive, so I might get a subscription there to see what's up.

Got a number of a thai girl from Tinder, convo went sexual quite fast from her initiative. Logistics seems a bit complicated so I'll have to figure out how/when we can meet.

In November was talking about a Russian girl met through dancing, we never managed to meet. Contacted her again for a hail mary pass, and we should meet on Saturday.

So far a pretty good week. I'm pretty happy. And I have to thank all the people that gave their advice on my thread but especially you Rags2Bitches for your advices about editing the photos. I'm not drowning in matches, but at least I get some, which is very encouraging
 
Rags2Bitches said:
only thing is that I don't match because I think I don't come across the girls that matched me.
Click to expand...

Man I’ve got exactly the same reflection 🤔🤔
 
Entry 9:

Gratitude

- I'm grateful for the date of tonight
- I'm grateful for working from home
- I'm grateful for this month not being freezing cold (yet)
- I'm grateful for the fact that it stopped raining just before the date
- I'm grateful for being able to see colors

Self appreciation

- I congratulate myself for having given a good time to my date tonight
- I'm improving my text game, getting a bit more response already
- I am empathetic, I always feel bad around homeless people, that's one of the reasons I didn't like Paris and I was always chocked that people would give them cold shoulder, or ignoring them. I always tried to reply to them, even if it's to say that I can't give them anything. Just so that they feel like human beings
- I am calm and relaxed most of the time
- I managed to deadlift 100kg after some time training, when I never could in the past

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Giving me self praise always feels weird and I really have to dig. It feels like a skill to be able to appreciate myself. Which is why I need to practice it. Maybe one day I'll internalise that I'm okay. And then maybe one day I'll feel that I'm actually good ? Maybe great, who knows ?

Date went well, we kissed, she was quite into it. I have a lot to improve still, but I'll get there.

Several dates planned :

- Tomorrow date with Russian girl
- Sunday date with Thai girl
- Monday date with Polish girl (got her number today from Tinder)

Talking to more women from Happn and Hinge. Fucked up this morning though, bought some boost on tinder and Happn, but didn't know it'd use it right away, so used a boost on tinder at 10am. Got 15 like still, matched with 2, because the rest were not attractive. Got 36 likes on Happn. Matched with some more girls there today, and all attractive. I'll invest in the subscription there.

First time in my life that I'm in abondance of dating opportunities. It feels good guys. I'm so happy I discovered this community that pushed me and gave me the right directions. So grateful for all of you
 
Entry 10:

Gratitude

- I'm grateful for the nice weather today (there too few of them here)
- I'm grateful for having a washing machine. Might not seems much, but there were time I didn't have any and had to pay a laundromat to wash my clothes end up being expensive at the end of the month.
- I'm grateful for home delivery. Being able to order stuff online is dope
- I'm grateful for being able to read. Lots of people can't around the world
- I'm grateful for having a warm blanket

Self appreciation

- I know how to make good gifts
- I'm a good conversationalist (realised after my date today)
- I'm not impulsive
- I'm proud to have walked (most of the trip) with my friend from Hungary to Serbia
- I'm proud to have done a Capoeira demo when I was a teenager, after 1 year of practice

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Showing some appreciation for myself is so fucking tough, feels like I don't really deserve to say something positive about myself.

Coming back from my date with the Russian girl. Turns out she has a boyfriend and a new born child haha. Still had a great time though, realised that I'm actually quite good at date and at conversation in general and that I need to give myself credit for that. It always has been an insecurity of mine, but so far, all the women I've spent time with enjoyed my company. There definitively was some sexual tension during the date, but I'm not going to proceed any further with her I think. I prefer carefree situations and this one is not.
 
Rags2Bitches said:
I don't have time to get into messaging right now. your response rates will improve with better photos but i generally recommend ppl open with a compliment for something the girl chose for herself + cold read hook
Click to expand...
What's a "cold read hook"? Did you find this method more effective than Andy's template opener?
 
Entry 11:

Gratitude

- I'm grateful for not working today because the weather is dog shit
- I'm grateful for the human mind, that allows us to grow and overcome our struggles
- I'm grateful for having had the opportunity to celebrate Christmas and NYE in Spain
- I'm grateful for having a nice landlord
- I'm grateful for being able to hear

Self appreciation

- I am fair, trying to be impartial in y way of judging people
- I try to be humble
- I always try to be the most honest
- I know how to work in a team
- I think I can be a positive influence to other people

Appreciation of others

Told my best friend yesterday how grateful I was to have him in my life. It was fucking difficult to spew it out. We were playing and I couldn't say it for a long time. But happy I did, we exchanged some bro-love, which we never do.

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Going to be hones, I don't know if I'll be able to continue this for 354 days. Gratitude is fine, self appreciation feels wacky and forced. The funny thing is that project kind of makes me log every day, so it's a nice bonus as well.

Was supposed to see 2 girls today (Thai girl and a new one from Finland), cancelled both of them because the weather is dog shit. Finland girl seems a bit protective, we'll see how it goes. Right now I'm not screening at all, I don't say that I just want something casual (except to Thai girl). I'll date anyone that I find attractive, to gain experience and also to figure out my way of doing things. This comes by experience, trial and error.

Was talking to a hot girl on tinder yesterday night, around midnight, used Andy's template and she was quite into it. I was tired at some point and sent her the date offer in the morning. She unmatched me. In retrospect, I think she was DTF yesterday night and had I play the cards right, could have had a lay yesterday. But heh, not beating myself for it because while it'd have been fun, I'm not too much that kind of guy (might change in the future but now I don't want a pump and dump).
 
They unmatch all the time, none of it is rational, it's just the norm.

A post I loved from pancakemouse: "Any girl not ghosting is basically a miracle"

That is the truth.

You're not beating yourself up, and that's good, but it's also the norm that they unmatch, ghost, and just generally air 99.99% of men.

I once read only 4% of men are getting responses at all! LOL

I once went 2 years without getting a single response back before hardcore KYIL style self improvement.

The game is the game.

MAC
 
You're killing it bro. Keep it up.

Glad to see your using one of my templates! I'm not using that template anymore. Results were good, but it required a bit more texting. I now say: "Hey, you're cute. We should hang out!"

My results may not be the same as you. Maybe you'll find a better template that works for you! This is all a big experiment after all.
 
arcade_fireee said:
Rags2Bitches said:
I don't have time to get into messaging right now. your response rates will improve with better photos but i generally recommend ppl open with a compliment for something the girl chose for herself + cold read hook
Click to expand...
What's a "cold read hook"? Did you find this method more effective than Andy's template opener?
Click to expand...

i’ll write something up with examples this week
 
Gratitude

- Grateful for the nice weather today
- Grateful for being able to taste food
- Grateful for being able to smell
- Grateful for being able to see
- Grateful for my friends

Self appreciation

- This morning, I didn't give up during my workout when I was exhausted and just wanted to quit so congrats to me
- I've hitchiked around eastern Europe, not every one can say the same
- I didn't compromise on my values when I refused to join a MLM, even though it was attractive
- I always try to see the bigger picture
- I've gone out to bars and club solo. Which not a lot of people can say

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Got back from my date with "Polish girl". Turns out she's not Polish but Ukrainian. I really liked her, but she gave me strong vibe of looking for her future LTR. Think she enjoyed my company but not more. Usually I get a text saying that they enjoyed blablabla. This one nothing.

Weighed myself this morning, lost 4kg in 2 weeks. I'm at 79kg now. I try not to be too affected by it but shit it's kind of pissing me off. Diet has been bad because my stomach has been really acting up those past couple of weeks. Can't really eat properly... This morning the gym was so hard, I'm physically exhausted because I haven't had a proper night of sleep in 7 months. I have some deep seated emotional knot from my breakups, which causes me to be physically ill (my stomach) and to fuck up my sleep. And I don't fucking know how to resolve it...
 
Entry 13:

Gratitude

- Grateful for my roommate, she's a sweetheart
- Grateful for having a TV in my room so that I can get girls to watch a movie there
- Grateful for being resistant to the cold
- Grateful for ufotable for delivering such a high quality season of Kimetsu no Yaiba
- Grateful for my photoshoot last month, which opened me possibilities in my dating life

Self appreciation

- I volunteered to help people in need
- I have dealt with suicidal thoughts and grew from them
- I always work on my social anxiety and fight for not letting it control my life
- I am proactive, I try to tackle problems up front when I'm motivated to do so (so not often for work haha)
- I know how to carry myself, I have been complimented on my posture and way of walking

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ovnidos said:
4 kg isn’t much considering your height man !! Keep the grind man
Click to expand...

Yeah but it's weight that is hard to gain for me. But yeah, won't stop the grind. Even though now it's physically impossible for me to eat enough calories. Will still pump iron like mad.
 
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