This week:
Gained 1 rep on my rear delt flyes. Up to 65lbs x 5 reps.
Trained incline bench press twice but no strength gains there.
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I took those mushrooms that I got from the Asian chick, on Wednesday night, by myself. It’s the first time I’ve done psychedelics alone, and these were a different species of mushroom that are more potent than the standard ones people take. I also took much more of them then I’d ever taken of the weaker ones before.
It was kind of brutal. I had brief periods of euphoria (and things started out with a pleasant body high) but pretty quickly became very anxious/stressed out and was unable to control my emotions. Fluctuated constantly between feelings of anxiety, sadness, euphoria, horniness, regret, etc. Left me feeling completely drained the next day.
I was going to just come on here and say it just a bad trip, but I don’t necessarily think that’s true.
The most painful parts of the experience seemed random or pointless at first but upon reflection I believe that I was actually being told some things that are to my benefit.
I won’t try to explain everything in detail but essentially my first realization was that the constant mood swings and anxiety were a reflection of the internet itself and my habit of using screens for entertainment. From the beginning of the trip onwards I was trying to “self medicate” using a movie, then music on YouTube, then other videos. All in an effort to entertain myself and feel good in the moment. But it didn’t work. It wasn’t until I was still again, staring out my window that I realized what the mushrooms (or my subconscious, or whatever) were trying to tell me.
The last few hours of my trip were marked by sadness, anxiety, and regret, but I knew what the association was. It surrounding a girl I’ve been seeing and was on the fence about if I should keep seeing her. The message I received was a resounding and clear-as-day “DO NOT PROCEED” and that’s what I’ve decided to do. After a couple of days have passed I can clearly see now it was the right decision.
I also went cold turkey and cut out the screens for a couple of days, which resulted in some positive action-taking and overall clearer thinking regarding some of the challenges and goals I have been trying to work on.
I was skeptical of whether this was just a shitty, bad mushroom trip or if it was actually possibly a good thing. But now I am leaning towards the latter. I wanted a pleasant, feel good high and that’s not what I got at all.
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On a different note - I added another $600 to the stock portfolio this week and the value has been growing fast due to the stock market surging. Up almost $20k since the start of October.
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After watching KillYourInnerLoser ’s recent video on doing nude photoshoots I decided to start messaging girls using his template since this is something I’m interested in. I believe Andy also mentioned in a recent video that there’s a guy he knows (on the forums?) who’s making $15k per month helping onlyfans girls make content. Would love to get in on that kind of thing.
Anyway I’ve started sending this out:
First message:
Hey, you're sexy. I'm Colton. I'm looking for something very specific on here.
Second message:
I enjoy playing with and mentoring girls, particularly teaching them BDSM & shibari and helping them explore themselves in the bedroom, as well as helping you grow into a more confident and capable person in life. I also help girls shoot photography/videos if you’re into that (for their “spicy content” if you know what I mean, as well as well as more tame photos for your social media) so if being the center of attention is something you’re into, I can help you explore that too.
I basically copied Andy/Immy’s message verbatim and I’m overselling myself a bit here but I wanted to see what kind or reactions I could get.
That said have gotten a few very interested responses from some very hot girls.
And this girl actually beat me to punch before even sent my second message, which I thought was pretty funny:
(I put in my bio that I’m into photography)
BUT unlike Andy, my primary goal with this would be to make money. However on dating apps like tinder you can’t just send out business proposals. So that makes it kind of tricky to figure out how to charge or in what situations to charge.
After thinking about it for awhile, I think these are some situations where being paid for photoshoots would come naturally -
If the girl doesn’t want to let me show the photos in my portfolio.
If the girl wants me to help on an ongoing basis with creating content for her onlyfans.
If she refers her friends or followers then I would charge them, naturally.
