April
1st Dates | 4
2nd Dates | 1
Lays | 2
Lead source: All Online
General comments: Odd fucking month.
So the girls i took on dates were dull af.
This was the first month the bars have been open since Christmas. The reopened on 14th April and I had a 2nd date lined up for the first day possible. This was with a Latvian girl I met last month. Date felt like it went fairly well, honestly I was more happy to be in a bar again, actually started talking to random people in the bar when I should have been paying attention to her more. Invited her back to mine, she said yes at first. But we had ordered another drink and by the time she finished that she had changed her mind and said she had to go do something instead. Got a big sense the vibe had gone cold tbh. Me being somewhat uninterested in her probably didn’t help. The only thing really driving me was the 5 weeks it had been since my last lay and the fact this was an excuse to go to the bars again. She barely responded to me on message after this. I invited her straight to mine for wine a couple days later and she sent a message back saying she’d rather be friends. Told her I wasn’t on tinder for that and got blocked. Not gonna lie, Ive had similar experience with Eastern European girls before and pretty sure ive never had a positive experience dating them.
Other two first dates are also not that interesting.
One girl from India who I went for coffee with but wasn’t into at all.
Other was more recent, this last week, and it was an English girl who kinda catfished me a little tbh. We actually ended up back at mine though cause bars are outside only atm and it was raining. So we split a bottle of white wine at my place. Didn’t try and escalate here, wasn’t the vibe and im still not sure on her. Gonna keep in touch with her though and see how I feel when back in Manchester.
The lays were both hook ups/booty calls
First one was a couple of weeks ago. It had just hit more than 6 weeks since my last lay and I was getting pretty fucking annoyed. Honestly from mid March to 3rd week of April I actually think it’s the most frustrating run of dating since I started taking this seriously. Basically, every lead was flaking and the girls that would meet were not doing it for me.
I was in bed one night though and this lead, that I haven’t met yet, starts messaging. She was out drinking and wants me to come to hers, where she is throwing a small after party so id have to meet all her flatmates. That was ok with me (I’ve done a few of these come meet me at a party invites before). Chatted to her flatmates and drank with them for a bit, and when they all went to bed we started making out on her sofa.
Moved it to her room and broke the mini dry spell. Didn’t message her again after this tbh, probably should have done. She was pretty hot in like a party girl sort of way.
Honestly walking home at 4am through Manchester after breaking a 6 week dry spell – the first one in ages that had actually bothered me – I felt exactly like this meme of the Guts theme from Berserk playing in the rain:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n_kUnSclAC0&ab_channel=ThatsScaryBruh
The 2nd lay was even more impersonal. I was once again in bed, had drunk a 4 pack of Moretti and had jerked off to some porn. Lazily scrolling through tinder I notice a match had just messaged me back - after not responding to my opener for a week. She asked if I was up and I replied ‘yup’. She came back immediately asking if I wanted to come over and hook up……wouldn’t give me a number but gave me her address. I went, honestly not sure if I could get it up but she was only a 10 min walk away (a big part of why she messaged me it turned out). I got there and she met me at the door, immediately made out with me in the street and then dragged me upstairs. Sex was pretty wild tbh, went on for like 2 hrs. Again she wouldn’t give a number after and said she would hit me up on tinder if she wanted to go again. I start walking home and go to check her profile again, she fucking unmatched me as soon as I had left lol.
So that was April. May wont be as interesting most likely as I am out of Manchester for the first 3 weeks.
Lack of hunger/desire and admitting my mild depression
I did a video where I discuss that I’ve fallen into a mild depression lately.
https://youtu.be/Jq6Fv0mvfH0
It started with losing interest in all my projects and tbh basically everything im working towards in life. Also noticed my mood swings and anxiety were getting worse when they occurred. Andy put a label on it for me in a coaching session and I spent a couple of weeks considering the implications. Last week I sucked it up and called my mum to talk to her about it (something I’ve always done when previously depressed) and by extension this meant admitting it to myself – which also took the form of that video.
Fortunately, I’m now doing some work out in the countryside for most of May, which gives me a much-needed break and reset. I have also brough my diet back under control and returned to the gym. My health logs are testament to trying to make sure my body is good and the mind should follow eventually.
Btw play_time_is_over i saw you left a comment on my depression vid, I didnt delete it. Youtube seems to randomly dislike comments left on my vids sometimes and wont even let me manually review them. Unless you deleted it yourself I dont know wtf was wrong with it
