Great post man. I really feel like I need to quit smoking weed, it is definitely hindering my self improvement efforts. I smoke 3x a day and I honestly feel like a slave to it at this point. I barely get high, it's not healthy, my memory has gone to shit, and I'm lazier than ever.
The problem is, I've built this habit of "needing" it to date girls, not because I need to be high to socialize, but because I'm so used to seeking out girls who smoke. It's almost become a part of me.
I guess I've also convinced myself that girls who aren't into drugs at all (including alcohol), won't be DTF, but I'm sure that's the addiction talking.
I've considered stopping just for 30 or 60 days and seeing if that improves my social anxiety and motivation enough to push my self harder.
I also don't drink. I just have an addictive personality in general, I've been able to use party drugs in moderation (like once a year at festivals, as you mentioned). It's the depressants, not the stimulants that tend to cause me trouble.
If there's one thing I've learned, it's that drugs stop being fun.
Did you find that your motivation improved a lot when you quit drugs? I find that comfort in general tends to push me away from things like cold approaching. Weed and online dating bring a lot of comfort, so its too easy to say no.