I, CallMeBo, commit to working on my goals and taking myself seriously.
Hey, I’m new here, so please call me Bo.
I realize this may not be the best pic, but I’m working with what I have for right now.
What I would like to work on:
*Meeting women. Only slept with one woman in my life, and that was the now ex-wife. There may have been other close-calls, but if there were, hell if I know. Been doing cold-approach rather seriously for probably last 4-5 months; I have a ton of numbers (over 40), but only been on a handful of dates. Been dealing with a lot of rejection, a lot of flaking. Tried what Andy suggested about a quick approach “hey, I like your outfit / you look cute, you seeing anyone,” and then going from there. Has been rather successful in getting numbers the last couple of weeks. I’ve been told I’m too outcome-dependent, and am working to change that. What I’ve also been told (from another guy) is that apparently women can ‘smell’ desperation on me—so, I’m basically trapped in a vicious negative feedback loop of wanting to get laid, but can’t get laid until I get laid, if that makes sense. I also know I’m not that special that I won’t get laid—something Andy talked about in a podcast episode. I do think he is right, and that has been going into my mindset recently. But I will admit to creeping thoughts about believing in outlier scenarios—and that I could be one of them.
*Continuing to improve appearance, and physical strength—Normally, am clean-shaven (but not in pic); I dress much better than I used to, but I have had some women assume I am gay when I’m interacting with them. Could be non-verbals like tone-of-voice, or that I try to be well-spoken. I get very high marks from others on dress (I’m a teacher—get many compliments on dress from colleagues, superiors, students, and have had plenty of women I’ve approached talk about my clothes and the fact that they think I’m handsome, FWIW). I also lift, swim, and take taekwondo lessons (started that back in April; previous background in martial arts, as well).
*Finances—divorced, living on one income, and am a Catholic HS teacher, so income potential is rather limited in that field, unless I pursue other fields or a side-hustle, or both.
Anyway, this is the long-and-short of it. Looking forward to advice, help, encouragement, suggestions, whatever. I do have some men in my corner already, and I realize that ‘too many cooks can spoil the soup,’ I also realize that I need more help, and more good men in my life.
Look forward to hearing from you all soon.
Cheers,
Bo
P.S.
Where I’m frustrated right now is this:
I feel like I’ve taken a lot of action to improve myself and make myself better, and I’m radically different and much better than I was 2 years ago, or even 6 months ago.
But all this said—I feel ‘stuck,’ like I’ve plateaued, especially with respect to women.
I have no problems walking up to them, approaching them, talking with them, flirting with them, getting numbers, and have even been on some dates.
It’s just that there’s not been much progress in terms of getting more dates, or getting laid.
I am trying to take action, and this is what Andy has talked about in podcast episodes. I feel like right now I’m butting up against a wall, and all this is only so much masturbation.
I’m not getting results, or the results that I want.
I realize that the only thing stopping me is me, but I also just feel like there is something ‘stuck’—not sure if it is my energy, or something I’m not doing right, or I’m trying too hard, or trying the wrong things, or it truly is desperation that women can ‘smell.’
I feel like all this is LARPing, and too much of this is still theory—none of it seems real, until it will be.
I’m just tired of the lack of progress, and I want so desperately, to get ‘unstuck.’ Please help, and tell me that it does, indeed, get better.
