I, cloudburst, commit to working on my goals and taking myself seriously.
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My name is Tom. I’m 21 years old, I am a 2 time entrepreneur with a day job in management. Live in the US.
I’m an old-ish TRP user who came here with the primary goal to become even better with women and expose myself to different viewpoints, a secondary goal is to specifically improve my OLD approach (in the right place for that
) as I used cold approach almost exclusively the first time around, and my tertiary goal to surround myself with winners virtually in a space that is masculine and has no desire to be PC. TRP brought a
ton of good into my life, however over the 4 years I frequented it, the community has been in quick decline for at least the last 3. (Particularly since the bans of the incel and MGTOW subreddits)
Looking back I could safely say I was scared of the approach, but in TRP there exists no such thing as an AA program - you dive in the deep end. So I just started walking up to girls and asking for their numbers/snapchats. Went great, but I never closed the lays... the sad part is, I could've, but I let fear create rationalizations for why I couldn't go all the way. (I.E. living at home) Most of them never turned into dates literally because I never messaged.
I fell off the fitness and approach train partially pre-covid and took quarantine rather seriously, so I saw literally nobody for ~20 months. With closed gyms, I didn't make an effort to implement a bodyweight routine, and my body fell off as well. After quarantine I actually feel like the same autist I did before I started making that progress. I'm currently 6'3 190lb and ~18-20% bf estimate.
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My current most glaring character flaws:
I have high drive/ambition and strong principles; Internally, I still get very very angry at friends (mostly old, some newer) that do not live up to my standards despite them ever expressing desire to….. aka Unmanaged Expectations of Others
I'm still uncomfortable being super overt with my sexuality (hey sexy, throwing girls around, some PDA, being direct about praising slutty behavior towards me - all make me uncomfortable and feel imposter syndrome still)
Sometimes I still feel like spending time with women I have relationships with is a complete waste of my time, even when sex is involved. Which creates cognitive dissonance for me as I want sex and sometimes other physicality, but goes against my principles of monk-like focus on myself and work.
Still play video games sometimes
I’ve developed a couple other limiting beliefs/what ifs with these changes in my life that I’m working to fight (I.E) Now that I have a dog, what if it messes up my game and kills the mood of inside home > escalation > sex {fucking ridiculous, I know}
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I’m comfortable going out in public again and have taken these concrete steps so far to improve my life:
Moved out
Gotten serious in the gym again {6 days/week}
Meditate Daily {Tai Chi}
Restarted cycling Keto
Got a dog
Weekly haircuts
Bought a DSLR Camera
Restarting approaches
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Goals
Short term:
(In-progress) Opening OLD profiles {w/premium}{gathering pics}
(In-Progress) Further improving style {will seek further advice - currently about matching glasses to face, good outfits for warm climate summers, and if my beard is enough that it's worth keeping}
(In-Progress) Dump my virginity {fear about legal ramifications of escorts, but might just have to risk it for the mental shift}
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Long Term:
Have 3 plates/FWBs in rotation that are 8s or greater in my eyes
Have at least one threesome
Execute on my sexual bucket list
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I’m going to log my results, use this community to keep myself accountable; including standing by my words with an uncensored photo of myself, and work to leave everyone I interact with here with more than they came with. I fully intend to be a key member of this community and think I’ve got far more than necessary inside to become, in Andy’s words, ‘an absolute fucking cold blooded killer’.
Let’s fucking go.
-Cloudburst
