I, Jamgoth commit to working on my goals and taking myself seriously.
Short term goals:
-Take better Tinder Photos
-Lose Virginity (sorta... I've paid escorts but it was a very unsatisfying experience and I'd rather know a woman actually wants to fuck me rather than just doing it for the money)
Long term goals:
-Build muscle to the point where people would say I'm hot instead of average
-Voice lessons so I don't sound so nasally
-Tan so I'm not so pasty
-Better sense of style
-Get into and succeed at a top grad school
-Be more comfortable in social settings, particularly nightlife
-Get good enough with Tinder and cold approach to where I feel like I can get laid whenever I want (within reason of course)
-Get multiple girlfriends/FWB (basically to the point where I feel like I have options and can pick the woman I actually like the best instead of the first one that comes along)
-Start kicking things off my Fuck-It list
-Get a good paying job, or enough passive income to not need a job, or both
-Get a place of my own
About me: To make a long story short in high school I was super obsessed with getting into some ivy league type school. Getting a girlfriend just wasn't on my mind as a teenager. Well, I got into Carnegie Mellon but I was so burnt out that I failed out after half a semester. I basically fell into a deep pit of depression to the point where I wouldn't consider myself a functioning human being. Over the years I did kind of slowly pull myself out of it to the point where I'm doing well in my classes again and could hold an okay job, but I was basically really isolated during this time and a lot of my social education that most people pick up in their teens or early 20s I'm behind on. I'm trying to go back to CMU for grad school, not because I actually want to but because it's closure for that part of my life.
Because I wasn't meeting (or fucking) girls during this period I developed really low self esteem involving women. I did get a job as a delivery driver and would sometimes use the money to buy a high end escort, but, this did not help my self esteem issues and I consider myself a virgin. I'm not going to argue semantics of whether or not this counts. I fell into a hopeless, despair, woe is me blackpill attitude. A couple months ago, at a research internship I'm at in a different university, one of the girls in my dorm building asked me out for drinks. It went well, and the night after we basically spent some time alone, it was in a public lounge, but it was late at night and no one else was there. And she was flirty with me hard, escalating sexual tension, asking me what my type was, what turned me on sexually, and I got that she was interested, but because I was so inexperienced I didn't know how to reciprocate. In hindsight I should have made a move but again, this was new to me and I didn't know how to. After that night she moved onto other guys. And as much as this experience was painful, it told me that I have decent enough looks and social skills that I can get laid if I just learn how to put myself out there and break my habit of isolating myself in my room. So that's what I'm here to do.
