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Rottweilers' Log

Brothers,

Today my grandmother and I were positive for the covid virus. It feels bad seeing my grandmother like this. I don't know how to help her. I also canceled my date with Annie next week. She hasn't replied yet, and it's such a shame, too, since we were both looking forward to the date before she returns to school.



I must keep myself busy to stop worrying about things that I can't change:

-I can't exercise right now because I might provoke the sickness. But I do have this manual treadmill. I just need to keep some sweat going. Thirty minutes must be good enough?
-Keep improving my art. Expand boundaries.
-Read/ listen to life-improving books.

Also, I was thinking of buying a house as my graduation gift. Is it too ambitious?
 
Lonely_Rottweiler said:
-I can't exercise right now because I might provoke the sickness. But I do have this manual treadmill. I just need to keep some sweat going. Thirty minutes must be good enough?
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As much as I want to say get on the treadmill, what's more important right now is resting.

I also caught COVID-19 (as you know), & I tried doing 100 pushups, situps, & squats. But a gym bro cautioned me against it & recommended me to take the time to rest & recover.

Get well soon!
 
Lonely_Rottweiler said:
Also, I was thinking of buying a house as my graduation gift. Is it too ambitious?
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I don't know what the market is like in where you are, but depending on your life goals and job status I would wait until you have a job locked down unless the market is completely different than the US market. Since if you buy and house and the price goes down, you are essentially stuck there until you owe less than the house is worth, and I wouldn't want to be stuck in one place at the start of my career, but this is all based on how things work in the US.
 
Brothers

How is everyone doing? After recovering from covid, I have newfound gratitude toward my family, especially my parents. My parents are flawed at the best of times, but they are trying their best.

Today, I am frustrated that I have a numb, broken penis, no architecture firms to go to for my apprenticeship, my art is still mediocre, and my weight went back to 79 kg. I was even snapping at people who didn't deserve it. I was even questioning myself, "what's the point of self-improvement if I fix one thing and more problems will appear?", It's a very "small-dick-energy" thing, so I caught myself saying that and continued with my workout.

So to fix my problems, I have done the following things.
-create one of those DIY masturbators to fix my death grip syndrome. It made me feel worse about masturbating since I had to borrow lotion from my aunt.
-I'm skeptical about buying a fleshlight because the right thing to stop fapping, But I know myself, and that is a fairytale. But still, I have to explore ways to stop my "equipment abuse."
-For my apprenticeship. I was able to submit a resume to one firm. It's a start.
-My mediocre art: I kept rendering everything I could think of, I lost count of how many things I've done, But I am proud of this one

-My weight is an issue. I got so discouraged with it. Maybe if things get easier at home, I can meal-prep seriously. but right now my only motivation to lose fat is because my boobs are bigger than my FWB.

Speaking of my FWB. My FWB is a very generous woman, we have the same interests on the bed it's just that she has more experience. I may use the safe-word more often. and we have a date on Tuesday. tomorrow I'll need to have a haircut, and buy a fistful of lube

Wish me luck
 
Lonely_Rottweiler said:
no architecture firms to go to for my apprenticeship,
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Lonely_Rottweiler said:
-For my apprenticeship. I was able to submit a resume to one firm. It's a start.
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Sorry but I had to say this: how can you complain you don't have an apprenticeship if you only applied to one firm? (Correct me if I'm wrong). Of course the chance of them taking you on is very low; maybe some of them won't see the value of taking a risk with a newbie who may only stay around them for a while without any notable skills to contribute to them. You have to keep sending resumes to play the numbers game one of them will answer yes.

Just so you know you're not alone with this: this is also my problem when getting clients at times. Sometimes I'd be too scared to reach out that I can't play the numbers game. Sometimes, of course I have no clients: I didn't reach out to enough people!

Anyway, I know you're trying hard, so I won't blast you any further, but keep taking action. Get your wins, & it'll snowball.
 
Brothers

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6lIeBPCCzN0&ab_channel=KillYourInnerLoser
After watching this video by Andy, I wanted to post regularly again.

I bought a fleshlight to cure my death grip syndrome, Hopefully. It feels strange, I still can't feel anything, but at the same time, it feels "good." now, I need to learn how to masturbate without external stimulation (i.e., porn, massage parlors, erotica, etc.)

I didn't meet my date on Tuesday since she was out of town. I just used my time instead to work on more renders.

One frustrating thing about finding work is that nobody is left in our house to help my mother and my grandmother. My grandmother is bedridden, and the rest of the family has their work. My mother is left doing all the work in the house. I stay to help her out. I can't leave them while our house is a mess from the recent renovations.

An inner critic in my head is telling me to grind and start working, But no one else will help my mother.
 
Brothers

Today, I have been trying to expand my knowledge on 3d modeling. I wanted to create a game asset for my plans, something to work on from home
 
Brothers

Today my sisters are trying to pair me up with a family friend's daughter. I don't know what to do with this.

I am working on a logo for my alma mater. My sister made me enter that logo competition, any thoughts?


Also been using a desk bike while I'm working. I can burn 300 calls a day while working. I figured that if I can't eat less, maybe I can burn more hahaha, genius!
 
Lonely_Rottweiler said:
Today my sisters are trying to pair me up with a family friend's daughter. I don't know what to do with this.
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Use that as practice talking to girls anyway. Although meeting like this has the assumption you're getting married, it's still good practice for humor, wit, & not running out of things to say. Also, who knows, you both might share a common ground (i.e. cringe on the fact you're both being introduced to each other & laugh it off).
 
Hello Brothers

I'm still trying to adjust my workouts because of my back and knees, not sure if I should even be working out. Still, I need to lose four more kilos or 8.8 pounds, but I did have my weight checked today and it's 77kg according to the office that processed my license.

Today, I wouldn't really call it a cold approach, maybe I'd call it a positive interaction, In my province I helped a lady carry a table in their office, she's thin but quite busty... I feel like a creep just typing that... It's just not what I'm used to seeing back in the city

About my fwb, she's gradually chatting me less. Of course she's out of town maybe she just has family and friends with her and I should understand that, but I really don't want to be ghosted. I feel clingy about a girl I knew for only a month hahaha I should really get a life

Brothers, I struggle with the fact that I have to pursue architecture as my profession, I had a hard time in school for eight years and I can't imagine doing that for forty to forty five years, I'll need to suck it up and provide for my family but I also found some side hustles to make it bearable, I'm learning unity to make video games, now I won't be making Fortnite or Skyrim, instead I'm learning unity to hopefully make my 3d models an interactive environment for future clients/ boss, possibly via vr, I may not be the best architect in my country but I will be among the few who has a valuable skill set such as that.

I will upload a trial house here soon, for who ever is brave enough to download a file from a guy who is still learning 3d. I could use some positive criticism

Love Raphy 🤣
 
Lonely_Rottweiler said:
I'm learning unity to make video games, now I won't be making Fortnite or Skyrim, instead I'm learning unity to hopefully make my 3d models an interactive environment for future clients/ boss, possibly via vr, I may not be the best architect in my country but I will be among the few who has a valuable skill set such as that.
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Yeah, that's a cool thing to try. If you're interested in fooling around with game engines, you should definitely try Unreal Engine 4/5 as all of its features are totally free and it’s getting more and more popular to indie developers.
 
Hello brothers

Thanks Lord Rey, I've read a lot of awesome things about unreal, the learning curve is a bit steep but it's probably worth learning, and also because the unity engine had a lot of negative comments about it recently

I can't sleep properly for two weeks now, I always wake up early in the morning coughing my lungs out, must be the post-covid symptoms I read about that is screwing up with my my lungs. I feel tired and slow, and I can only sleep 2-5 hours before my respiratory system decides to go evanescence and wake me up.

You guys stay safe out there
Raphy
 
Lonely_Rottweiler said:
Thanks @Lord Rey, I've read a lot of awesome things about unreal, the learning curve is a bit steep but it's probably worth learning, and also because the unity engine had a lot of negative comments about it recently
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Yep, this is exactly the feedback I got from a couple of friends who are into game development. Unity has traditionally been the go-to engine for indie developers but that changed a few years ago when Epic Games made Unreal Engine totally free (until you start making serious money using it). That was a real game changer. Besides, Unity got a lot of bad press recently as you pointed out.

Personally, I only have a very limited experience with game engines. I never used Unity and I only touched Unreal Engine 4 a few times for fun. I mainly messed around with the CryEngine back in the days when I was learning to code and I made a small stupid game using assets from Crysis. :lol:
 
Hello brothers

Today was rough. I almost crashed into some cars while taking my test for my driver's license. I decided to take a walk outside and touch some grass. I may have too many things in my mind. I guess it would help if I had a friend to have a drink with right now. Maybe not since I still have to take that test again.

Lord Rey

This render is what I came up with right now! I didn't want to post this half-baked, but It's been too long since I didn't post, haha
 
Lonely_Rottweiler said:
Today was rough. I almost crashed into some cars while taking my test for my driver's license.
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Good to know that you're alright and didn't crash ! I never dared to drive when I stayed in the Philippines because people are crazy on the road in your country seriously haha.

Lonely_Rottweiler said:
This render is what I came up with right now! I didn't want to post this half-baked, but It's been too long since I didn't post, haha
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Nice, you have all the time to finish your render, you don't have a deadline. ;)
 
Brothers

Lord Rey said:
Good to know that you're alright and didn't crash! I never dared to drive when I stayed in the Philippines because people are crazy on the road in your country seriously haha.
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That's the same fear I have while driving, haha.

Today I drove again and bumped a parked truck... there's a big scratch on the car. My family is very chill with the matter since everyone is safe and no complaints were filed. I feel so guilty that I don't want to touch the car anymore. I wanted a driver's license as a valid ID for my work, and I messed things up by getting the family car damaged.

It sucks, but I need to keep improving. I'm slowly losing my motivation to work, but I know there's no real reason to stop now. I need to work so hard that every setback will look insignificant
 
Hello Brothers

A girl I'm talking to has been sharing pictures of herself in her swimsuit. I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.


So far, since I started my log here, I have gained some social skills. I have learned that social skills aren't just about making the other person laugh. It's also important to be interested in them. I have five months left to achieve the goals that I have made in the forums, so here's my plan for the two remaining goals I have:

Lose weight (currently 1.1kg/5kg):
Eat less rice: my daily rice intake is 6 cups of rice, and the calories I eat because of rice is 960 if fitness pal is correct. That is more than half the calories I eat in a day. Cutting down or not eating rice will help. Also, follow a meal plan that is okay with my mother. (Things are stressful in the house right now, and I don't want to tell her I don't want to eat her cooking.)

Walking more: burns more calories.

Using the desk bike while working three hours a day

PROGRESS:

-I've been receiving compliments from people that I look thinner. Even though the scale barely moved.

-I can now do eight clean pull-ups before I wobble

-10 Dips on the kitchen counter and the gym rings

1/5 Lays without paying:
This one I have a hard time visualizing. I can't start installing tinder prematurely since I barely have enough photos for my profile. Referring to the tinder guide, I'm still at part one.

Do more interesting things and meet more people in the process:
-I'm considering making a game out of unreal. Since I'm already trying to learn it.
-Attend seminars or clubs

Remove dependency on escorts for sex:

Cold approach like Johnny Bravo, Smooth talk like Craig Ferguson

PROGRESS
-I'll get there soon

View attachment 1
 
Brothers

Today I discovered I couldn't make a cold approach under the rain. People are just in a hurry to get where they're going. Or maybe I'm subconsciously making excuses in my head again. I still spoke with one woman so that I don't go back home without sharpening my social skills even a little bit

Tomorrow I get to see my FWB again. Wish me luck :)
 
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