Silver's Log - job interviews and fear.

[TylerDurden1995]

Hey Man

Good work on the Gym progress - also been hitting it myself this week.

Best of luck on your journey

Regards,

S.

Thanks, I've been hitting the gym hard in the past, but this is the first time I've done it with a PT and a good diet plan. I'm shocked how much of a difference it is making.

What are your goals with the gym right now?

Yeah man the Gym is an investment I didn’t fully make and I was non-committal and had a bad case of ‘Fuck-around-itis’ for the best part of 10 years.

It was Lockdown that got me doing a lot of thinking and I realised I didn’t want to carry on how I was.

So I paid for a PT and bought supplements and bulking food and now I’m hitting it hard and I’m committed. I’m sure I’ll start seeing results soon

Honestly I just want to bulk up. If you read through my progress logs I’ve talked about how I went on a date a couple weeks back and got called ‘Mr. Scrawny’. I lost a lotta weight due to medical issues and it’s something I’m self-conscious about, so I’m doing something about it.

I’ll get as big as I can and take it from there! I’m gonna weigh myself today and keep track every week. I’ll detail it on my progress logs.

Feel free to have a flick through :arrow_up:

Regards,

S

 

[Sin Silver]

This week have been a slow grind, but I've come out on top. I fell sick for the first time in over a year this week, which punched a whole in my gym plans for Friday and Saturday. Thankfully, I am off for the next two weeks, so I'm going to sneak in some cheeky sessions. That being said, weight loss is still going steadily, I'm down 2.2lb from 193.8 to 191.86 lb, and I am starting to notice the difference, my waist size has gone down, and I can start to see my ribs when I've taken a shower. Not quite the same as seeing abs, but milestone's a mile stone.

I can also proudly say that other than one piece of celebratory cake, I've been completely off the junk food for 5 weeks. I use to be a very habitual snacker, finding any excuse to raid the fresh bakery isle at ASDA, so I'm very happy with myself in cutting back.

I booted up Bumble for the first on Thursday(When my cold was at it's worst), and managed to arrange my first date of the season which I went on earlier today. We went for a great walk in the scenic Welsh country side, but unfortunately, it didn't feel like it was going to escalate. She seemed interested in meeting up again, but unfortunately, that's not going to be for a good two weeks. If I'm going wait that long, I am definitely going to take her somewhere to escalate, or not bother.

I won't be able to go dating this week, but I'll be hitting up tindr next weekend.

Goals for this week, continue weight loss, and make plans for restarting approach anxiety course.

 

[Sin Silver]

Belted update, I was on holiday with my friends this weekend, and I've only just started to recover form the sesh.

I've been dieting for 4 months now, and have already loss 8lb! My PT told me I should aim to loose lb a 2 week, so I'm dead happy about this. I've noticed the difference already, my trousers are looser, and a I swear I'm loosing fat on my face already. The topless selfies doesn't quite do it justice, but the graph does(I'm an physicist, and I love a good graph).

I am still rather unsure as to what my Body fat it, but I want to hit 15%, then go as low as 10% if that's what's needed to get those abs popping. I understand I won't be able to effectively build muscle whilst I'm loosing weight, but that's a question for another post.

I am still on holiday this week, and my plan is to pick up the approach anxiety program again. I original started it over a year ago when lockdown began to lessen in the UK. I really enjoyed it, I learned a lot, and it completely changed my perspective on socializing and cold approach, however, as I was making real progress and getting into the swing of it, the UK’s second lockdown began to loom, and I knew I’d have to cut it short.

I pushed hard, and hit the dreaded ABC’s challenge, which I was honestly quite scared of, but I managed to smash it on my second attempt. With that major milestone down, I felt a good sense of accomplishment, and managed to put it to rest.

Now, over a year later, it’s time for me to revisit the program and my self development. The sun is out, lockdown if lifting, I’m feeling pumped and horney as fuck from my gym gains, and all the girls ware wearing really short summer shorts, it’s time to hit those streets!

However, before I pslap on some deodorant on and go out asking girl’s what the time is, there is some serious practical problems I need to address.

The first is location. I live in a small town for around 20,000 people, most of which are OAP’s. Trying to find girls in the street that I find sexually attractive, or at least worth approaching is pretty hard. When I did this last year, I got a few replies of ‘Hey, didn’t you ask that earlier?’, which kills the approach completely.
The solution to this is to do the AA program elsewhere. I live an hour and a half drive from one of the UK’s largest cities, where there is a lot of young and open minded people I can speak to. I think the best strategy would be to put a few weekends aside, and smash 3 to 4 sessions in one day. I know it’s designed to be done one day at a time, but I might have to bend it a little. Hopefully I won’t need to much time to reflect on each lesson.

This leads to the second problem, time. The AA program recommends going out 2 to 3 times a week. I can only manage every other weekend. Ultimately, if it takes me 4 to 5 times more to do it, then that’s what it will take. I’ll smash, it regardless of what it takes.

I have a total of four weeks off now between now and the end of August, so I might stay over in Manchester and smash it out there.

 

[Sin Silver]

Day [1]

Hi everyone, The name's Sliver and I'm here to smash approach anxiety.

I live in the sunny old UK where we are starting to come out of lockdown, so it's time to have another attack of the approach anxiety program. I previously began it around this time last year, but the UK entered a second lockdown as Autumn approached, so I'll be restarting the program from the beginning to make sure all the lessons are nice and tight.

I really started to enjoy the program last time I began it. My views on socializing and girls radically changed, and I felt so empowered by it. I did manage to get stuck on the ABC's lesson, I felt very anxious about completing it, but I managed to power through in the end, which I'm very proud of.

I do have a few practical road blocks between me and completing this program.

The first is location. I live in a small town for around 20,000 people, most of which are OAP’s. Trying to find girls in the street that I find sexually attractive, or at least worth approaching is pretty hard. When I did this last year, I got a few replies of ‘Hey, didn’t you ask that earlier?’, which kills the approach completely.

The solution to this is to do the AA program elsewhere. I live an hour and a half drive from one of the UK’s largest cities, where there is a lot of young and liberal minded people I can speak to. I think the best strategy would be to put a few weekends aside, and smash 3 to 4 sessions in one day. I know it’s designed to be done one day at a time, but I might have to bend it a little. Hopefully I won’t need to much time to reflect between each lesson.

This leads to the second problem, time. The AA program recommends going out 2 to 3 times a week. I can only manage every other weekend. Ultimately, if it takes me 4 to 5 times more to do it, then that’s what it will take. I’ll smash, it regardless of what it takes.

Despite these road blocks, I am determined to smash approach anxiety, so I can build to sex and social life I want. It does take second base to my career commitments, and maybe shares a priority level with the gym and my weight loss(going for 10% body fat baby), but whether it takes 3 months, 4 months or I have to wait an entire year whilst the UK gov tidies the mess up that is CVD-19, I will smash it!

 

[Sin Silver]

Day [2]
-Signed the anxiety approach program.
-Started posting my Vlog.

Expect alot of updates this week, as I work through all the days I have done before. I am going to work on a few of the session today, as I have a week off, and I want to catch up with where I left off last year. Whilst it will be time consuming, as act of prudence I am going to get into a habit of keeping Vlogs.

Last year, I tried about 10 takes to try and get it perfect, this time, I did it in one, fuck getting it perfect. It's done.

Edit- Video won't upload, I'll try to post it when I can. Anyone know the recommended file type?

 

[Sin Silver]

Day [3]
-Reviewed my online profiles.

I’ve posted my current dating pictures in another post where they belong.

No Vlog for this one, as theirs not much to report, I am still looking for help identifying how to upload them.

 

[SIGMA_1234]

Welcome back man, let's finish this to the end this time!

 

[Sin Silver]

Welcome back man, let's finish this to the end this time!

Hey Sigma, good to be back! I've got a lot of time off coming up, so I'm ready to smash it. What you up to these days?

 

[Sin Silver]

Day [4]

Walk up to 5 women and ask them for the time. LEAVE. - smashed

I was really looking forward to this, it the first time I've been out solely for the purpose of speaking to people in over a year. It was great to be in that chatty, talkative mind set once again.

Following the instructions, I stopped and spoke to every women I practically could(I discounted those with obvious male partners), and every one of them stopped to give me the time without so much as a second thought.

Their was one women who was sitting on a bench playing with her phone, who just shook her head slowly with the blankest look on her face. Maybe she didn't speak English, maybe she was high, like GLL said, that was a her issue, not a me issue. No reason I should let it effect my positive mind set.

I'll be having a crack at day 5 soon, depends if town it busy enough after I've had a chance to listen to the audio.

I took a Vlog on my iPhone right after, once I figure out how to upload it, I shall get it posted.

 

[SIGMA_1234]

Pretty busy.

-) Got a new job. 2 months in and trying to get over the regularization process. Thinking of sticking around for a while because it's a good place to practice leadership as a manager & the salary's good.
-) Still hustling for web design clients. 2 in the pipeline I hope I can close.
-) Also getting laid. Smashed a chick from Bumble last Saturday.

I go into more detail in both my logs haha

I also wanna do the AA program at one point, too. To see if I really have any AA issues, but I'll do it when things get better because I've got my plate full.

 

[Sin Silver]

Day [6, 7, 8, 9, & 10] nailed.

So yesterday was one of the first on many approach anxiety program field trips. The small town I live in is mostly filled with the older generation, making finding suitable women to speak to difficult. So, I decide to get up first in the morning and drive to a nearby city to work on the drills there.

When I got there, the situation was perfect. It was an idyllic summers day warm weather with a cool breeze. The center have a buzzing atmosphere with a lots of attractive women, I was in heaven

I started working on the drills with no major problems. There were a few approaches I bailed when the crowds were too busy or the approach was to awkward, but all in all, I felt it went really well. Once you get that social momentum going, it really does get a lot easier.

I did really enjoy this day Hanging out and talking to all these attractive girls reminds me why I started on this path of self-improvement in the first place. I am looking forward to the day I will be able to start cold approaching successfully.

One thing I did note, is that I’m starting to prefer talking to those who I know are going to give the best response. This is usually the better looking girls who look like they’re in the best moods, I would hazard a guess that the more attractive ones are also the more socially aware ones, and are use to random (and attractive) men hitting on them. I don’t know if I’m going against the nature of the AA program by speaking to the most attractive girls, but hey, those are the ones I want to speak too.

Sadly, It’s going to be at least two weeks until I can pick up this program again. I’ll be busy next weekend, but the weekend after, I’m going back for a social event, so I’ll use that as a chance to work on it more.

In the meantime, I need to start focusing on my fitness and career. Now that I have a good laptop, I want to look at photography and picture editing too.

 

[Sin Silver]

Weekly check in!

No work this week on the approach anxiety program. I am off next week, so I will be heading to the cities to smash out 4 days worth in one go. I also have my first public social event to go to since Covid started, a very exciting chance to speak to strangers for the first time in forever,

My evening Leadership classes are still running twice a week, taking up two afternoons. I really enjoy these classes, I can be very vocal and confident in them. We have a team assignment coming up, and it will be an excellent idea for me to take the initiative and organize people. See if I can put my new leadership skills to the test.

Fitness has been going very well, smashd two of my three gym sessions this week. One of the, legs, was on a very hot day, not only was a sweating like a pig during squats, but I felt slightly dizzy during leg presses, at which point I decided to call it a day. My inner determined side felt disappointed for quitting early, but it seemed like the smart choice to avoid hurting myself.

In other news, my weight today measured in at 187.6lb, 1.7lb down from last week. That's 6 lb lost this month, and 13lb lost since I started count 7 weeks ago. By my estimate, I need to hit 176lb to be at 15% body fat and abs territory. I have a festival event coming up in 6 weeks, and if I can keep up the weight loss, I should be able to hit it.

I've noticed you can see the oultline my ribs too, anyone want to hazard a guess at what that means for my body fat percentage?

Following some feedback from dashedhopes , I decide to go look for better fitting t-shirts. RiverIsland does some really nice "Muscle Fit" T-shirts, so I've ordered a bunch of those in.

My goal for this week is to keep nailing the gym, my weight loss, and my evening classes. I have a lot of socializing to do next weekend, so I need to go out and buy some cloths on Wednesday, and book a hair appointment for Thursday.

 

[Sin Silver]

Soo... Day 11 of the approach anxiety program needs some reflection...

I was expecting to smash this one, especially as I did it the year before with no major challenge. I was in a bit of a bad mood when I arrived into town, but no big deal. I had some shopping to do before I started, so I made sure to be chatty with some random passers by and store clerks to get psyched up.

The first two women I spoke to where okay, but the third really unhinged me. When I asked her where the mobile shop was, I turned around to look in the direction she was pointing, but when I turned around to ask her what she had, she had her arms defensibly, ignored my question and walked away.

That stung me hard, and my brain began to panic, 'what if she thought I was a creep', 'what if she tells someone', 'what if everyone is like that'. I tried to get the motivation going again, but couldn't quite pick up the energy to carry on with the full barrage of questions after asking where the shops were. I walked around for ten minutes, but couldn't work myself out of that dump.

Whilst I have read and discussed rejection alot, I guess I still need to get use to facing it and not being fazed. I know from the audio files that GLL would tell me that it was a 'her' thing, and not a 'me' thing, she could have been in a terrible mood, or just have extreme social anxiety that I happened to tread on, but it still shook me.

This was a painful lesson for me, but I've gotten past it before. I got rejected hard last year when I had to do the 'ABC's challenge'. It took me three attempts on different days, but I smashed it in the end. I need to reflect on what I learnt from this failure and come back next time and smash it.

 

[offwego]

As early as Day 8 this bitch said “Do you have a phone” “Yeah” “Then you should check your phone for the time” in a nasty way. Just pretend they answered and keep drilling on them unless they say no, or go away, and even then persist regardless. It’s not like you’re harassing anyone, you’re just being assertive.

 

[Toast]

Whilst I have read and discussed rejection alot, I guess I still need to get use to facing it and not being fazed. I know from the audio files that GLL would tell me that it was a 'her' thing, and not a 'me' thing, she could have been in a terrible mood, or just have extreme social anxiety that I happened to tread on, but it still shook me.

This is exactly what was going on. Just how in the beginning of the day you said you were in a bad mood, everyone else is going through some sort of issue.

You never know what people are thinking, what happened to them that morning, or if they're just crabby people. She could have had the worst morning of her entire life and some random dude tried to say hi to her. Even if u were Chris Hemsworth she would have acted rude. It was just the state she was in at that moment.

It is hard to internalize that you are not doing anything wrong, because approaching has been viewed as a "bad thing to do." But it really is harmless. You are not soliciting anything, you are not being rude, and talking to people is a normal human interaction.

 

[Sin Silver]

All right everyone, my names Silver, and welcome to the first of my weekly blogs. I’m going to keep these posts weekly rather than daily, so I each post has plenty of juicy content to keep you coming back for more. For the first post, I want to focus on who I am, who I was, and who I want to be in the future. I could include more, but as I review this text in Word, it is already looking like a rather beefy.

When I first drafted this post I was going to write a long sob story about the various challenges I overcame, but I didn’t want to start my first log wants to read a sob story you’ve have read hundred time. My solution to this is to write punchy bullet points of the key part of my life, like a watch mojos top ten self improvement story clichés.

• Grew up struggling with severe dyspraxia and dyslexia. Little social skills and motivation in my teens.

• At 19, I realized I had no friends when I started envying characters in a slice of life animes. So I started throwing myself into every social situation I could until I improved

• Failed a year of university as I put no effort it. I retook it as I was determined not to end up working minimum wage. I realized I enjoyed the work when I put the effort in.

• Finally lost my virginity at the age of 23 at an anime convention to a bleach cosplayer.

• I graduated uni with an average degree. As I felt I still had a lot of personal development to do, I decided to go do a PhD. This gave me a second chance at that fantastic university life I missed previously. I developed more in the following 3 years that I had in the last 25, and felt I finally like a worthy human being. I also get to make 'Pretty huge dick' jokes, which is always a bonus.

• After I graduated, thing started to go south. I got a really good job, but lost if after 6 months, as I couldn’t handle the pressure and environment. I got another job shortly after but failed again for similar reasons. I can partially attribute this to my disabilities, and partially to me cracking under pressure due to the fear of failure.

• During my second job, I lived in Manchester, UK. That fantastic part of my like, I joined a social groups through meetup.com, and I got involved heavily in the local BDSM scene through Fetlife. Sadly, I moved back in with my parents when I was made unemployed.

My struggles with work have been THE defining part of my life for the last three years. When I was in University and in Manchester, I was living the social and sex life I wanted, but my problems with work forced me into moving back with my parents. Thankfully, I managed to get career level job within commuting location of their house, but in order to save money, and to help manage the handle the pressure, I decided to continue living with them.

The new job is going well. Its had quite a few stressful moments, but I’ve handled them, and my boss has been very supportive. Living with my parents in rural Wales isn’t letting me live the lifestyle I want, but I am saving A LOT of money that’s helping me work towards home ownership.

After being inspired by reading Andy blog and everyone else posts, I am determined to get back into dating. I was slaying it back in university, and to blow my own trumpet, I feel I have aged physically and mentally well since then, so I feel I could be slaying it now if I got my own place, and got back out there.

This in mind, my absolute goals right now are
1) Excel at my career.
2) Get back into dating
3) Look after my health and looks

The career comes first. Without that, I have no independence. I spend at least 40 hours a week working, and I wont everyone one of those to be an hour I'm motivated and proud. Dating comes second, Computer games and anime are fun, but they cannot match the excitement and wonder of meeting and fucking girls. Finally, health. I already live a healthy lifestyle. Being toner and fitter would help with dating, but I’ve done quite well in the past, and I’m in better shape than I was back then.

I’m going post my plans and thoughts later, but I think a page and a half in word doc is more than enough for a first post. I look very forward to getting to know you all, and helping us to all reach our goals.

 

[Sin Silver]

This week marks the two month mark of my wieght loss journey. Measureing myself this morning, I've hit an all time low of 183.5lb! I started off at 200lb, so I'm over half way to my target of 177lb, which marks the 15%BF point.

In other news, I have been chatting to girls none stop on dating apps and Fetlife. I am constantly trying to arrange dates rather than talk, but fustratingly, everyone is either working, or unable to travel over an hour for a spontanous date. I have to be patient, but still aim to meet up ASAP.

It's really tempting to keep matching with more and more girls, as I have plenty of them lined up, but trying to keep track of more than 8 at a time is a challange, so I have to take it slow.

I like to think that by loosing weight and improving my photo's that I'm making myself more attractive, which is giving me all this attention. It's giving me alot of hope for what I can do in the future if I carry on this path.

 

[Sin Silver]

Missed last week’s check in, so I'm going to drop a good two weeks’ worth of updates.

Weight loss is still going well. Haven't missed a gym session since I started day routine 2 months ago, and have dropped from 184.7 to 181.9lb in the last two weeks. plotting my weight loss, I can see it's been consistent for the last two months, and I'm very proud of myself with keeping up with it. By my projections, I should be hitting the 15% body fat in in around 3 weeks. Hopefully, I'll starts to see the magic abs around that time.

Dating Wise, internet dating has been pretty good.

I had a date with an older woman last week which didn't go that well. We got along well, but despite her sexting, she hit me with the ' we seem to be at different parts of our life' which was fair enough. She was attractive enough to sleep and hang to with, but I could not see a relationship coming out of it.

I did have a date with a girl I spoke to through Fetlife this Saturday. It was a casual cup of coffee, followed by a walk round town. She came across nervous when we first started speaking, lots of arms rubbing and fidgeting.

I came aware of the fact that I was ‘autobiographing’ alot in our conversation, something Stephen Covey describes in the 7 habits. This is where she would say something or tell me a story based on her experiences, and I would follow up immediately observation or an opinion on something similar I had experienced. Because I was doing this, I was dragging her backwards and forwards, making her speak about herself, and switch over to listening to me. To try and make her relax, once she paused to let me speak, I repressed the urge to start autobiographing, and instead followed up with more questions about what she had just said. This kept the follow of information and conversation one way and constant, demonstrated that I was listening and was genuinely interested in her, and helped her open up and relax.

In one of his approach anxiety audios, GLL explains how the guys has to be nosy when dealing with nervous girls, and I feel like this was a similar experience for me today. My previous perception of asking alot of questions, is that it came of as needed, something TRP ground into me. After today however, I feel I have helped tackle that misconception. We're seeing each other Wednesday night. It's not explicit that we're having sex but considering how much we spoke about our fetish experiences, I'm feeling pretty good about it.

Now, there's a third girl I have been speaking too this week who is an interesting case. She is a very attractive Japanese girl I met through the new facebook dating feature. Like most girls I match, she lives over an hour away from me in the nearest city, so arranging a date been pretty challenging. Following the usual protocol tried to arrange a meeting ASAP, only to be told that she isn't free for three weeks! Those three weeks end next weekend, and then she, accidentally like me, is off for two weeks.

We have been speaking casually for nearly three weeks now. She messages me alot and seems generally interested in me. She seems rather smart, even if her English isn't particularly good, and it very driven. She's a trade manager, and spends her evening trading bitcoin, owns her own house (A big thing in the UK at that age) and has shown me how she has made £30,000 profit from her trades.(Nearly my yearly salary).

Is there a word for feeling 'financially emasculated'?

Spending that long chatting online before meeting someone in person isn't something I would have done in the past, but considering my remote location, and the fact I'm generally interested in meeting her, I think I'll keep going, try to arrange a meeting next week.

Regarding the approach anxiety course, I've not had a chance to work on it the last two weeks as expected, and whilst I was planning to have another go at it next weekend, that's starting to look busy now too with dates lined up.

I need to consider whether to keep going with it. I want to do it, as I think it would be a great learning experience, but it’s hard to be engaged with something like that I can only try once or twice a month.

I can’t engage in cold approaches regularly where I live, so focusing my efforts on my health, fitness and lifestyle, and using those improvements to build up my online dating profile looks to be the best strategy.

I’d hate to quite the course without completing it, as I’m trying to build a gritter and more integral character, however, I have to put the first things first, and consider if it’s the right way to work towards my goals of improving my dating and sex life. Learning to say ‘no’ is something I have been meaning to do for a long time, and maybe it’s time I said it to myself.

 

[Sin Silver]

Hi all, I''ve bene on two weeks holiday, and this will be my first time stopping and reflecting since then.
Easy updates first, weight. Since my last post on the 18th of July, I've lost 2.5lb, bringing my weight down to 179.4lb. My weight loss has definitely slowed, which can be attributed to the fact that I'm reaching the limit of this diet and life style, or that the fact that I've been to an abnormal number of parties during my holiday. I'm going to continue to monitor this die and review it every week. I'm not far from my 15%BF goal and those delicious abs I've been aiming for, just got to keep pushing!
I've decided to call it quits on the Approach Anxiety program for now. I can't commit the time to see it through properly, and I'd rather use that time and energy to focus on something that's going to have a more immediate impact on my life. If I find myself living in a city again where I can use the cold approach method, I'll try again, but for now, that time is best spent elsewhere.

I’m going to attempt to be more reflective, by committing to writing in my dairy every day at 10PM. My plan is to write about the day, and how I felt about it. Reflect and face my feelings and think about anything I learnt. Hopefully this will help me grow and feel more in control. Making sure I spend the time afterwards just doing casual reading, should hopefully help me sleep to.
In other more exciting news, I went to my first festival in over two years last weekend. I’ve been going to this festival for nearly 9 years now, but my experience was radically different this time, which shows how much I have changed and grown.

The previous years I was orbiting a rather boring clique, and I started off the same this year. Around half way through the first day, we were sitting under a gazebo in the pouring rain and I found myself self-thinking ‘damn, I’m really fucking bored right now., and decide to just fuck off to the food vans by myself. I found shelter under some balconies and started chatting with some other people I have known for quite some time. I explained to them what I’d just done, and one of the guys dropped a paradigm shifting bit of wisdom.

“Dude, cliques suck, just walk around and mingle”
That REALLY hit me hard, as he was totally right, I’d been trying to fit into cliques at festivals for 10 years, when really, I was at my happiest when I was by myself, speaking to new, interesting people, or just going from group to group.
So that’s what I did, for the next three days, I walked around, I spoke to everyone, I never stopped, and I had the best festival I have had in a long time. I found people were a lot more open and friendlier than in the pasts. A lot of people I’d knew previously said I was looking good, sign that all my weight loss and style changes have really paid off.
It’s totally changed my perspective about myself image, and myself in social situations. I’m looking forward to future opportunities where I can speak more people in such a great environment.
Between now and next week, I’ll be working full time. I’ll be using this time to not only focus on my weight loss, but I’m also going to be attempting to improve my scheduling, in and out of work. I’ve broken my evening weekdays after work into two halves and have listed what I plan to do in them. This will help me schedule my priorities, and prevent me worry about getting them done, as they’re already in the planner.

 

[Colossus]

I'm interested to hear updates on Nervous Fetlife Girl and Moneybags.

You did the right thing with Nervous - you've got to provide just a chill energy for them to relax into. It sounds ephemeral but your confident vibe would have put her at ease. I like filling dates with girls like that with real "normal" shit. Like walks or getting coffee. She sounds promising and will just be highly strung, make her trust you and your vibe and you'll see her again.

Moneybags takes a real attitude adjustment away from how important money is. You've got to see yourself as enough on that front and her financial situation as not related to your dating. Easy way is just make fun of her for it. Telegraphs that it isn't a big thing and will hopefully reach you that in the process. Every dude she dates will be an insecure bitch about her making more than them and its easy to be that. But your role here isn't to become her sugarbaby and you aren't selecting her for her money - distil it back down to two attractive people hanging out. She doesn't want your dick because you have less money than her. It isn't even on her mind. She just wants your dick because she thinks you're worthy. Show her why that's the case.

Longer term I'd be interested in you taking on stress to see how you have adapted and changed from it and are able to get through it next time the pressure hits. There's some interesting courses run by ex soldiers that simulate stress and all that good stuff. I'd be keen to workshop how we are going to induce that response in you so that next time you've trained for it and you hit a stressful patch and take it in your stride because you know you have beaten worse. That's the key to your career success I think - callousing your stress response and knowing you always got this.