Spider’s Progress Log 🕷 DAY 366: Continuation Log Link ⛓️

Day 127: 15/02/2022 ✅

Taking the 5th Step: Back to Work 👎

Not sure if I was ready to go back to work today, but I needed to go in. It’s a big step considering the complete mess I was recently.

Doesn’t help that I hate my job.

I made a list on my phone of rationalisations for my anxiety which I’m reading every time I feel panicky and nervous. It’s worst in the mornings when my alarm goes off and I wake up. I see my bed as my sanctuary where it’s warm and comfortable and nothing can hurt me.

Rude awakening going back to work this morning, but I made it into the office. I’m typing this up before my shift. Just wanna go home. Roll on 8 Hours.

I’ll edit this if there is anything that needs adding in e.g. if anything significant happens

Thanks for reading 📖

Spider 🕷
 
Day 128: 16/02/2022 ✅

New Phone 📱 and Off Sick 👎

So my pre-owned IPhone 8 is Fragged. Replaced the battery twice now and it’s getting to ‘90%’ then shutting down 🔋 ⬇️

Didn’t wanna have to spend the money, but I’ve bought a new one which cost me 350 bucks 💰It’s coming tomorrow 📦

Shit happens I guess 💩

I was also sick at work today (tablets still in my system) and my anxiety didn’t help. Got sent me home after being sick a few times 🏠

Overall not a great day. Gonna work from home again next couple days until I feel up to things.

Really struggling lately but not giving up.

Thanks for reading 📖

Spider 🕷
 
Day 129: 17/02/2022 ✅

Buffer Post: Tired and run-down 🛌

Anxiety been giving me night terrors. Woke up in a cold sweat last night, so just a buffer post today.

Therapy can’t come quick enough.

Need to look at self-help in the meantime as I’m getting a bit bummed out lately to a point it’s effecting sleep, diet and work.

Thanks for reading 📖

Spider 🕷
 
Day 130: 18/02/2022 ✅

Feeling a bit better 🌅

Not much to report today. I will say I’m feeling a bit better about things.

I’m trying to start to accept that I’m okay.

If I think I am ill, then I will feel (and probably be) ill

I need to think positive, accept that all my medical checks came back clear and try look to the future ➡️

I slept better last night 🌘

No night terrors, no cold sweats. Woke up early and went back to sleep after 20 minutes.

It’s slow, but it’s progress.

Thanks for reading 📖

Spider 🕷
 
Day 131: 19/02/2022 ✅

Beating My Anxiety: Getting Out of the House 🏠

Just a quick one.

Got out the house tonight and went to see a friend. Had dinner, had a chat, feel a lot better.

Considering where I was recently, this is another good step.

Thanks for Reading 📖

Spider 🕷
 
Day 132: 20/02/2022 ✅

CBT Research 📖

Another quick post for today ⬆️

At this point I’m focusing on consistency whilst navigating this very difficult period in my life.

I’m going to be starting Therapy very soon (1 Week) and today I’ve been doing a bit of research around CBT.

Just to give me a general awareness so I’m in a better position when I start.

Taking it a day at a time.

Thanks for Reading 📖

Spider 🕷
 
Day 134: 22/02/2022 ✅

Breakdown at work 🌧

Not a great day.

Had a bit of a breakdown at work today and had to leave early.

Been placed on leave for a little while. Got another Doctor’s appointment Thursday. Might try get some different tablets which don’t have side-effects.

I might even get signed off work as sick.

Gonna rest up a few days. This mental health struggle is absolutely exhausting.

Thanks for Reading 📖

Spider 🕷
 
Spider,

Anxiety disorder is recoverable and I was there dude, for YEARS.

Dr Claire Weekes' materials helped me a lot.

And also dude, there is a lot of traction to be gained from wellness processes.

I wrote an anxiety recovery guide and made YouTube videos on it. I suffered in total for 20+ years, and a few of those years were EXTREME.

Now, I am kicking ass and taking names.....Life can be great but it does require great wellness.

PM me if you want further resources but just know this shit gets better man

MAC
 
MakingAComeback said:
Spider,

Anxiety disorder is recoverable and I was there dude, for YEARS.

Dr Claire Weekes' materials helped me a lot.

And also dude, there is a lot of traction to be gained from wellness processes.

I wrote an anxiety recovery guide and made YouTube videos on it. I suffered in total for 20+ years, and a few of those years were EXTREME.

Now, I am kicking ass and taking names.....Life can be great but it does require great wellness.

PM me if you want further resources but just know this shit gets better man

MAC
Click to expand...

maknyc

Thanks MAC.

Checked out your guide recently and your experiences - appreciate you being open and honest about it.

Think I been struggling a long time and it’s just come to a head recently.

I’ll keep in mind regarding those resources

Thanks a lot 🙏

Spider 🕷
 
Day 135: 23/02/2021 ✅

1st Day off Work

Not much to say. Just relaxed and took it easy. Got tomorrow off as well.

Also tomorrow I got a phone call with the doctor. Gonna try go on different medication.

Might get signed off work. Been making a list of how anxiety has been affecting my life so I can get this across tomorrow during the call.

I’ll update on here with how it goes.

Thanks for Reading 📖

Spider 🕷
 
Day 136: 24/02/2022 ✅

Signed off Work 📝 + New Pills 💊

Doctor’s appointment today.

She’s signed me off work for 2 weeks, prescribed me new antidepressants and given me sickness tablets.

Also went over my recent medical test - she said I’m physically healthy. She just needs to get me mentally healthy now.

She was nice and seemed like she genuinely cared. Got a follow up appointment in 2 weeks to see how I’m doing.

Work probably won’t be happy but I’m not sacrificing my health. I’m done putting other people first.

Thanks for Reading 📖

Spider 🕷
 
Day 137: 25/02/2022 ✅

Continuity Post

Just a continuity post. Very tired and exhausted from meds.

Thanks for reading 📖

Spider 🕷
 
Day 138: 26/02/2022 ✅

Continuity Post

Just a continuity post. Very tired and exhausted from meds.

Thanks for reading 📖

Spider 🕷
 
Day 139: 27/02/2022 ✅

Continuity Post

Just a continuity post. Very tired and exhausted from meds.

Thanks for reading 📖

Spider 🕷
 
Day 140: 28/02/2022 ✅

Chiropractor 🏥

Not much to say about today. Managed to work up the energy to make my Chiropractor appointment. That’s about it.

Thanks for reading 📖

Spider 🕷
 
Day 141: 28/02/2022 ✅

Therapy 💭

Had my telephone assessment for therapy. Not much else today.

Thanks for reading 📖

Spider 🕷
 
My advice is you find a very good psychiatrist so you can find out the exact disorder you have and treat it, if not the risk is that you lose many many years of your life without even knowing the exact disorder you have.

Meds are not candy's, you can't try one for two weeks and flush it because you don't like it. It takes 8 weeks or for the medication to reach stable levels and start influencing how receptors work.

If you give up on a medication to early you will never know if could ve worked if you were more patient. And this is bad because the number of medications available is limited, doctors don't have a million type of antidepressants to try every 2 weeks

https://youtu.be/BHEbVzMssm0
 
Thrice said:
https://youtu.be/BHEbVzMssm0
Click to expand...

Thrice

My advice is you find a very good psychiatrist so you can find out the exact disorder you have and treat it, if not the risk is that you lose many many years of your life without even knowing the exact disorder you have.

1. Starting with a qualified therapist soon. I’ll take it from there.

If you give up on a medication to early you will never know if could ve worked if you were more patient. And this is bad because the number of medications available is limited, doctors don't have a million type of antidepressants to try every 2 weeks

2. I was advised to stop my first round of meds by my doctor as I had a VERY bad reaction - this is why I flushed those. I’ve been prescribed a 2 week dose of new tablets which I’m halfway through, so I’ll stick with these until the follow up appointment. I am aware it takes time to kick in, but the first round of tabs really Fucked me up (think suicidal thoughts). So far so good on round 2.

Thanks for your input 👍

Spider 🕷
 
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