Trèfle's progress log - Mediocre dating streak after 11 lays

Lots of hurdles this week but I'm still quite content with how I did, considering

First week of work and it sure was tough. Hard work but made even harder by the fact the subway stopped working on my 2nd day of work and won't be fixed for a while which means 2 hours of trip from home to there for now. It's 8 to 5 so yeah really takes the whole day, very annoying. Struggled a lot to sleep properly too, averaged 5 hours a night, was a zombie over there. Still, I pushed myself and did good there. Only got 3 more weeks of trial to survive and then I'll have something stable going on, the money will be extremely useful

Dating was, well, non existant. Tried as hard as ever on Tinder but somehow didn't manage to meet a single new girl. Gathered that students are starting again tomorrow so that explains why this week was so dead, not enough people in town. Got a good enough proof that things will start to heat up again: meeting up with new girls on both Monday and Tuesday, both 23 so I guess they're students. Both attractive girls and seemed invested, looking forward to those dates. I think it's a good idea for me to filter more to avoid pointless dates with how little time I have right now; mostly avoiding the clearly "serious" girls, I feel I've gone on enough dates already to not waste time with the ones that couldn't go anywhere. Anyway, excited about Monday's and Tuesday's dates. I do need 2 more lays in the next 18 days to achieve my primary goal, will I succeed ? Going to try my best at least

No new girls but I still met the cute nurse again. Dig this chick so I decided to work really hard on my retention skills with her. On top of the extra pillow talk, I took her to the amusement park after sex this week, feels like some activities other than sleeping together may be good for retention purposes. Was a great time but when we were talking about our love lives on the way back she talked to my me about this "very attractive guy she's meeting on Saturday and who's clearly looking for a serious relationship" so that's obviously a very big redflag, guess the odds that this was my last date with her are high. Very disappointing considering I like her, she's attractive with a good personality and I really try hard to keep her around. Was feeling pretty gloomy after she told me that, had thoughts like "maybe I'll never get consistent fuckbuddies on the long run, maybe I'll never be able to compete with safe boyfriends" but I got over it pretty fast. I think I'll be just fine. Even now, with too much weight, not enough money for proper clothing and while living at my mom's place I was still able to sleep with this cute girl several times so of course I'll get long term fuckfriends I dig on the journey. That girl isn't big on compliments at all but she gave me a pretty flattering one on our last date, she told me she keeps coming back "because I'm able to make her feel comfortable" and that's a big deal for her. Really interesting compliment I find, feel like making women comfortable will be a useful skill. Dunno if I'll manage to see that chick again, with the "serious relationship attractive guy" in the picture but even if not I think I'm happy with my performance with her, I feel I've learned a lot about retention from those dates with her. Came a long way, not long ago I would have been crushed mentally from the thought of maybe not seeing this girl again

Diet/exercise were no bueno. Mostly ate poorly at night, especially on Wednesday and Friday, extremely stressed about work and it still is my automatic answer to pressure. I'm sure things will be easier once I get past the trial at work and get a real contract on the 2nd month but still, more work to be done to overcome those demons. Exercise levels were much poorer than usual too. Because of the travel time, going to the gym really means doing nothing for a day except working and lifting weights before sleeping and I struggled being fine with it mentally thus far. Could have went today but the week was so stressful I preferred just focusing on having a day with nothing at all scheduled (still went for a 5 km run). Still, will be easier to go to the gym after work as I get more used to it, I do feel optimistic. Got tennis lessons starting again next week too so that'll help to burn calories

Lots of obvious improvements to do next week (sleeping and eating properly, going to the gym on some nights) but I worked hard at work, happy about that. Let's try to get laid tomorrow now
 
Not too shabby. Lay number 9 ! Very cute girl. I was very nervous when we met for some reason and she even confessed post sex that this terrified her, lots of awkward silences during the date - but I still invited her and she accepted, that's what matters. She was still nervous at home and admitted it so I played the slow game until I undressed her, had a good 69, fucked her, made her cum hard with the wand (my boners are still really weak...). She was much more expressive about what she likes than the previous girls, I like that a lot. Alas, she's only in my city this week so that was a one night stand, she made it clear. Wonderful date, spent so much time cuddling afterwards. Great girl

First new date of the year and first lay already! One more for my goal. It sure is late though I won't even get 6 hours of sleep tonight. Worried about my performance in tomorrow's date but it doesn't matter right now. Feeling amazing about tonight
 
Today wasn't the day of the 10th one. She warned me from the get-go she wasn't staying long so not surprised she turned down the invite to my place. Extremely pretty and gentle girl though, very attractive it was a fun date. She seemed interested in a 2nd date so it's worth a try but I've never had success with girls who turned down the home invite thus far so not feeling very optimistic. We'll see ; she's traveling a lot starting from this weekend so I'll text her tomorrow to see if inviting her home on Thursday's going to work

Edit : ouch she unmatched me already. This one hurts, I felt like she was having a great time but I guess it's the opposite. Seems I still struggle to read women well! Real shame I liked her vibe a lot. On the positive, I can sleep early to actually workout tomorrow night, been a while. Onward to the next girls (well, don't have a new date scheduled right now)
 
Aaaand I just got ditched by the nurse I was trying to retain because "that guy wants a serious relationship and I want to do my best too, was fun". I'm such a low value guy, I can really get ditched the moment a better guy wants serious with them on the first date. I know the solution is to improve but that really hurts, was really liking my time with her. I really should forget about retention right now I guess, not with my current flaws

I was feeling so good after that date but I feel like complete shit now. Funny how quickly a day can turn. I'll feel better tomorrow but just want to whine right now
 
3rd post of the day but really really bad mental state, gotta wake up in 5 hours and I just can't sleep (ate horribly the whole night to forget the sadness). I know it goes against the message here and I'm trying not to but I feel like I like women less than when I didn't have any in my life and I hate this feeling. Like, the women I've been getting laid with so far were all attractive but there was always something fucked up happening at some point. I get I'm not very experienced yet and that plays in it but this girl fucking me 3 times in 4 dates, having all this extra pillow talk and then just sending a "found a boyfriend bye", that really fucks me up mentally. I know the lifestyle I chose isn't the best suited for retention but this feels so devoid of humanity like switching from the old toy to the new one. Not to mention the one who slept with me before immediately ghosting, I don't get how anyone could do this kind of thing but it seems so normal for these girls. That other girl from earlier tonight texted me that she "likes my face and my personality but don't feel like she'll want to see me again probably and she doesn't know why", what's wrong with these people

I do believe in full responsibility and get that I only get the ones who treat me like shit because my value as a guy sucks right now but I still needed to vent. I just want good girls in my life is all ; I worked hard for that lay count goal despite the struggles I feel like and I didn't expect to feel so depressed when things are going in the right direction. I'm sure I'll get worthwhile girls when I'm worth it, just wanted to write some thoughts to fall asleep
 
Trèfle said:
I just want good girls in my life is all ; I worked hard for that lay count goal despite the struggles I feel like and I didn't expect to feel so depressed when things are going in the right direction
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You’ve taken 1 photoshoot and swiped a little bit on dating apps for those lays, don’t come out here telling us you worked hard. Mac worked hard for 10 lays, you didn’t.

Trèfle said:
That other girl from earlier tonight texted me that she "likes my face and my personality but don't feel like she'll want to see me again probably and she doesn't know why", what's wrong with these people
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First of all you’re not a high value guy yet. Despite pretty decent genetics there is nothing outstanding about you. Not denying your potential but it won’t come to you for free. It will require real action.

Secondly, you react extremely emotionally for the slightest drawback. A girl whose looking for a boyfriend picked the other dude who wanted a stable relationship over you who wanted something casual. SHOCKER!
This totally normal turn of events shouldn’t warrant you becoming an emotional mess for an entire day or more.
If you want to be a strong and respected man, you have to get rid of this behavior.

Lastly, it’s about time you accept the world ain’t all shiny colours. People can be horrible, both men and women. You can do everything correct and still not get the desired result.

Here’s an example of a text I just received:
“I was talking to my friend about boys and I couldn't ignore that you have definitely been the best fuck I've ever had and no one can take that title away from you.”

Yet she still didn’t sleep with me a second time.

The only ever guarantee in life is that continuing to work hard increases the odds of success. But the success is never fully guaranteed. The faster you accept this bitter truth, the faster you’ll improve.
 
Yeah you make a good point about not working very hard, I really kinda just went from barely ever kissing a girl on the cheek to getting laid a little bit instantly despite shitty mental health. Bit surprised about the genetics point but I guess so ? I'm short, barely ever been taller than a date but it doesn't take a very low bf to have a pretty face so that's an upside for sure

It's true that I react way too badly at every setback, this past few months I mostly felt completely crushed mentally, unable to savor any kind of success, just overall sadness. After reflecting for a bit I think I liked that ONS on Monday. Tried way too hard to retain every single lay thus far, been a consistent source of misery. Fucking a girl once and her being a good memory is fine enough for me I think after all ; I can always get a decent girlfriend once I'm happy with the laycount to get experience

I'm still discovering a bit how humans work I feel like sometimes, there's really a lot I don't know. You're right about my views on the world not fitting reality much yet, there's some learning needed still

This week's been really miserable though, just felt like a zombie, not willing to do anything this weekend, just went for a run and took some naps. No luck with finding dates either. I'll be honest, I don't even particularly want to see women right now. Just want to get that 10th lay to get this goal done and then focus solely on fixing my shit
 
Hey man,

I'm just checking in to spread some positivity.

I understand the struggles you are going through. I'm facing my own mental demons regarding my appearance and the setbacks I recently faced on the dating front, so I can completely understand why you are feeling down.

While it is nice to read the success stories from Holden, Zug, Bman and the like on here, I really get inspiration from the experiences of the underdogs. I think Kratjeuh said it best: objectively speaking you are not at the top of your potential, but you have pulled some great results already. Imagine what kind of (dating) life you can have if you fix your mental and physical state.

Don't let minor setbacks get in the way. You are doing great, keep going!
 
Thanks a lot for the kind post MisterE

Anyway, good news, after so much struggles I finally got done with my first main goal : got my 10th lay today ! Super nice girl - she even made me cum which is a first for sex so far. Covered her stomach up. Very enjoyable date (to be fair it wasn't even a date, went straight to her place to fuck. But it was really nice, cuddled and fucked for about 4 hours). She had such a good body too, gave great blowjobs, lovely girl

The goal was to get my first ever 10 lays within 6 months. After looking back during the journey, I realized it was a really unreasonable goal given I had to teach myself even the most basic of social skills, spent so much years without any social interactions. And yet, I did achieve it - to be precise, my 6 months deadline was on January 25th so yeah that took me 6 months minus 1 day. Clutch

So much stuff happened those last few months. Did I do the best efforts all the time to become hot and thus increase my amount of date to lay convertion ? Of course not, I fell so deeply into food addictions to forget the pain of attachment with those girls that I gained more than 10 kilos those last few months. Those "you're handsome" compliments I was getting back in summer are looooong gone. Money was a massive issue too, was a bit too sad to work for a bit so I couldn't really work on my wardrobe much, couldn't buy much boosts. And yet, despite turning into a fat manlet with terrible clothing I did manage to sleep with 10 attractive women, and that's not counting the ones I kissed but didn't fuck. I don't have much to compare to but it really doesn't feel like a small amount, I obviously got potential despite the height issue. Perhaps I can't call myself a hard worker with all that happened but I had a goal and I achieved it, that's what matters. Despite the sadness at times and depression I learned a lot about women, about human interactions, about my own mental health issues that I didn't know about. I'm very glad I chose to focus on nothing but my sex life for a little bit

Next big goal to focus 90% of my mental energy on : fat loss. Small issue, with all the bloating (my diet's still a mess) I have no clue about my precise weight right now (probably around 65 kilos) so I'll post a more precise goal with a deadline once I know more. Might treat myself to a fat pizza to reward the big milestone first, I really won't struggle with dieting anymore now that I don't have to have dating on my mind all day long. Really thought about nothing but women for 6 months straight, no wonder every other aspect of life suffered from it. It will be good for my self development to make dating a more relaxed part of life and not the sole priority. I do care about increasing my lay count again, to 20, to 50, to 100 but it's not the priority right now - fat loss comes first

I feel wonderful and it's not the kind of temporary winning situation that goes away. If I can achieve this lay goal with my terrible current appearance I can truly achieve anything in life
 
Periods really are a consistent woman issue aren't they ? Was supposed to go to a new girl's place today to drink together (and probably fuck) but she told me a few hours before that she's going to rest tonight because of her period. I believe she probably ghosted after I asked if she wanted to try alternatives, perhaps asking if she wanted to give anal a shot before the first date was too forward. Shame, she's cute but it's not too important

Lesson of today : make a consistent plan to deal with girls who have their period. Been stopped by blood a little too often already
 
Just had a very disappointing date. Was thinking inviting them straight to my house could be a nice variation on the typical drink date, could be a good training for my in house game (also I'm completely broke until the start of the month so that's a motivating factor too! Really like to avoid that 3 euros beer). So I tried it on a cute blonde chick this morning, she accepted without issues so I thought things were going to be fine. But was I wrong. We sat on my bed immediately and started chatting but she was completely terrified. Tried my usual slow escalation tactics but nothing was working. She refused everything too, no movies / Netflix, no massage, nothing, she really didn't want me to come closer to her too. Wasn't working at all, had to accompany her back eventually things were going nowhere

There's been plenty of disappointing dates I didn't bother registering in my log, my looks are too mediocre right now to expect to fuck every cute woman but idk this one confused me. I felt like she was coming to fuck and that I was giving off the right vibe, giving off the "confident but kind and respectful" type but idk

Maybe dates straight at my place don't fit me? Last week's lay was straight at her place but like we talked about fucking before so it felt more natural. This one she was really like "we don't know each other" all the way, there wasn't the anticipation of chatting with a drink

I'll get to experiment a bit more with dates at my place tomorrow, there's this cute asian foreign student who's coming upstairs to chat. We talked about grabbing a bottle of wine beforehand so that may make things less awkward than today's date. If this fails too I'll just go back to regular "grab a drink and then invite them back" instead of straight at my place. Wednesday's date agreed to come upstairs immediately but then she changed her mind "actually can we chat in that bar next to your place before?", maybe for the best it sure is easier to handle things when starting from a bar (and yeah I chose brutal honesty with her "I'm completely broke but sure I'll get a glass of water, feel free to pay something for yourself it's cool", the poverty... But no probs)

There's also this intriguing match from the weekend I've been thinking about on a different note. 22 and super pretty, easily a 8 on her pics but there's something unique about her for sure: she's a virgin and wants to stay that way until wedding. Had a long convo with her, much longer than the typical setting up dates ones but it was interesting, gathered that she doesn't want to even do foreplay before wedding but is cool with kissing even if she never did before (told her about my sex life too but cool with her). Interesting girl, meeting her on the weekend (it's not that close) and it'll really be the first time I go to a date without the intent to fuck. Not fully sure what I'll even aim for here, I obviously am not close to settling down and won't until I achieve my sexual and financial goals but I feel very curious about that girl, should be an interesting experience. We'll see what happens, there's some other dates beforehand anyway
 
Funny, this chick from this morning told me I was too "touchy" for her back in my bedroom by texts. It's also something I heard back in the start of the month from my first lay of January (of course I slept with her so it wasn't a huge concern but she said it intimated her at first). There's also like 1 or 2 dates in the recent past who told me before I was too much on the physical contact, a small % but still one that exists. I do wonder if I turned too agressive? I was thinking the kind of lifestyle I'm trying to build sexually needs like screening and stuff to get only the girls who are interested in me and I've gotten very comfortable at playing the agressive game but perhaps I've overdone it just a tiny bit and should do a little less kino. I feel like it's probably a looks issue again, like "not nearly hot enough yet to be too agressive without being scary". Maybe I'm wrong on the last part
 
Well, that's an issue : just got banned from Tinder. No idea why, I'm very soft on there. Doesn't appear I can appeal or anything so... Yeah that sucks

I'm sure guys here had to deal with this. Any advice? Would greatly appreciate it
 
Trèfle said:
Just had a very disappointing date. Was thinking inviting them straight to my house could be a nice variation on the typical drink date, could be a good training for my in house game (also I'm completely broke until the start of the month so that's a motivating factor too! Really like to avoid that 3 euros beer). So I tried it on a cute blonde chick this morning, she accepted without issues so I thought things were going to be fine. But was I wrong. We sat on my bed immediately and started chatting but she was completely terrified. Tried my usual slow escalation tactics but nothing was working. She refused everything too, no movies / Netflix, no massage, nothing, she really didn't want me to come closer to her too. Wasn't working at all, had to accompany her back eventually things were going nowhere
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Trèfle said:
Funny, this chick from this morning told me I was too "touchy" for her back in my bedroom by texts.
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Trèfle said:
Well, that's an issue : just got banned from Tinder. No idea why, I'm very soft on there
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It's a mystery!
 
pancakemouse said:
Trèfle said:
Just had a very disappointing date. Was thinking inviting them straight to my house could be a nice variation on the typical drink date, could be a good training for my in house game (also I'm completely broke until the start of the month so that's a motivating factor too! Really like to avoid that 3 euros beer). So I tried it on a cute blonde chick this morning, she accepted without issues so I thought things were going to be fine. But was I wrong. We sat on my bed immediately and started chatting but she was completely terrified. Tried my usual slow escalation tactics but nothing was working. She refused everything too, no movies / Netflix, no massage, nothing, she really didn't want me to come closer to her too. Wasn't working at all, had to accompany her back eventually things were going nowhere
Click to expand...

Trèfle said:
Funny, this chick from this morning told me I was too "touchy" for her back in my bedroom by texts.
Click to expand...

Trèfle said:
Well, that's an issue : just got banned from Tinder. No idea why, I'm very soft on there
Click to expand...

It's a mystery!
Click to expand...

Dunno, can you get banned from a dating app from trying to get laid at your place? Angry isn't the word I guess, she texted me that she's not "the kind of girl who sleeps on the first date" (despite asking me before coming if I sleep on the first date often which I said yes too) but didn't seem too offended by my attempt. The texting was just mostly "we don't look for the same thing good luck" on both sides

Doesn't feel like the kind of thing you can get banned for in my point of view

Thanks Bman, probably can get around the ban by the end of the week
 
Trèfle said:
We sat on my bed immediately and started chatting but she was completely terrified.
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And yet you felt the need to overly touch a girl who’s obviously extremely uncomfortable. It would be soft but in todays society this could be labeled as assault.

You got banned on tinder because she reported you for inappropriate behavior in person and that usually resorts into an insta ban. She kept texting you because she’s afraid you’ll do weird stuff if she ghosts you.
 
Yeah I guess that I was moving too fast this time around, happens. Don't agree about the texting, I texted her first because I was curious about how she would have liked me to treat her given I don't know yet how to deal with dates without a date, figured the criticism would be helpful. Don't think there's anything close to what you said at the end, but yeah I guess she reported

Anyway, got 2 "traditional" dates that starts with a drink today, so the ban isn't too harmful yet (yesterday's girl had to postpone). I'll give straight house dates another shot with a better plan later on
 
First date was a bit lame honestly... 30 yo photographer chick, less attractive than in pics, I wasn't particularly feeling her I feel my energy levels suffered from it. Invited her because I figured I still should get more sexual experience but she wasn't interested. Asked me if I wanted us to drink more instead but I turned it down, not very interested

Second date was much more fun, 19 yo super fun military girl who's super into the gym, extremely enjoyable date the vibe was great. Very nervous, even when I was sucking on her breasts she was like "I dunno if we're going all the way" but I did a good job comforting her. Inexperienced despite being hot, she only had me and her 3 exes before ; I'm the first casual one. Sex was great, came all over her breasts. I'm starting to learn myself more I feel, second time in a row that I manage to cum. She even showed me her shiibari photoshoot she did recently afterwards, lots of inspiration. Good girl, hot, shy and with a good attitude. What else could I want

Lay count: 11. Too bad the amount of dates planned is down the drain because, you know, banned but I'll get around to it

Didn't start seriously dieting yet, I wanted to take the full week to enjoy some food I've been craving lately. Will start focusing on it starting on either Sunday or Monday so that'll be the main purpose of my log for a bit. Life's good right now, I'm still fat but otherwise I'm quite happy. Even looking into way to get back into school (I didn't even go to high school so I always get the most miserable of jobs. Starting a business is the end goal but a well paying job on the side would be great). Got a pretty decent idea, scheduled to attend an event on early April about it
 
Going to aim for way less masturbation/porn this month, been using it too much lately and I blame it for me not feeling enough during sex even with chicks I'm very attracted to (managed to find some new condoms that makes things way more comfortable for me too). I manage to cum now but I'd still like more overall feelings. Not masturbating at all for the whole February would be ideal but I don't want to fall into a spiral if I have one bad day so I'll just aim for the least possible days of masturbating and report the failed days here
 
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