• Welcome to the forums, Guest. Please note that you must make a post in the introduction thread and upload an avatar to gain full access to the forums.

Vizzy's Progress Log

Day 36 things I did today (wednesday)

1 – Clocked in on time

2 – Crushed it at work

3 – Dove into some more research regarding health stuff that could pertain to me. I kept up the pace from yesterday's learnings.

4 – Speed walked on the treadmill for two miles when I got home from work. This was one of the ideas I came up with yesterday to start implementing every day and holy fuck it did every single thing I hoped it would. It had such an array of positive effects on my brain and body.

5 – I FINALLY STARTED A PERSONAL PROJECT I’VE BEEN BEING A BITCH ABOUT FOR MONTHS. Seriously, it is probably the most important project out of the dozen or so I have already gone through. It’s basically the evolution of the ailments in my entire life. It’s talking about all the injuries, timelines of factors that could have negatively affected me to put me in certain illnesses throughout my lifetime. It’s funny but not funny how big of a deal I’ve been making it out to be. I knew it would be scary and bring out infinite amounts of horrible memories and emotions. But today I fucking started it. I wrote 1800 goddamn words. I can't remember a time I typed so fast for such a long period of time uninterrupted, no pauses or anything.

6 – Journalled 700 words.

7 – Made several phone calls to different doctors for various things.

8 – Checked several things off my “list of actions I can take right now to substantially improve my health in general, but also regarding doctors and starting a new path with new doctors. “ that I created yesterday.
 
Things I did today (Thursday) DAY 37

1 – Clocked in on time

2 – Crushed it at work

3 – Called two doctors on separate matters that I have been putting off.

4 – Speed walked on the treadmill for 35 minutes and 2.2 miles.

5 – sanded down the sharp side of the laptop case that came in today
 
Things I did today (Friday) DAY 38

1 – clocked in on time

2 – Did my best to stay productive at work today. I had no immediate reports or many emails to answer to so it was really chill just doing my “busy work” lists.

3 – Called two doctors. One was massively successful in getting my muscle relaxer script doubled to where I can take one when I get home in addition to the regular one at bedtime. I think It will help with my productivity 100% but also going out it will help a lot too.

4 – Called the place I'm having my car detailed at tomorrow. I decided to change the service I'm getting to only interior and no exterior. It dropped from 200$ to 130$ so that decision saved me a good chunk of money.

5 – dropped my car off at the detailing place.

6 – Got a haircut

7 – got a car wash and filled up the tank. Gas went from 4.05 to 4.45 overnight. Absolutely fucking wild. And it worries me about our future economy.

8 – finished shaving and touching things up from the haircut.

9 – Made some very solid plans to kick it with a friend I haven't seen in a couple years. He lives
10 minutes and 10$ uber ride away from the clubs I’ve been going to so that's easy money. He’s not 21.

10 – Did more research on various health topics. Two videos in particular that totaled up to 3 hours. Both from Stanford university’s youtube. One was about how sugar affects our bodies and the other was about how stress affects our bodies. All this shit I’m learning is reassuring me of everything I’ve already come to understand and learn these last 8 or so months where I put my health at the top of my priorities.
 
Things I did today (saturday) Day 39

1 – Journalled 1100 words.

2 – Picked up my car from the auto detailing service.

3 – Decided to not drink when going out tonight since my neck was being such a cunt all day.

4 – Watched a couple hours of youtube videos on general guy stuff regarding grooming, style, social behaviors, and much more. All from one guy’s youtube Alpha M. I watched some of his stuff for the first time the other day and he touches on a ton of things I simply did not know or think of in general. When I was growing up nobody exactly taught me the basic health things that he touches on that is what seems like basic stuff every person already knows.

5 – I tried to make the most of the day despite the pain in my neck but it was hard and I honestly was not very successful. I forced myself to go out tonight and focused on trying to socialize but that was a big mistake. I should have focused on the productivity side of the trip with going to clothing stores, getting non-perishable groceries, going to other misc places oriented around accomplishing something but I didn’t do any of that. If I speak positively about the night then I only spent 25$ including gas money. So that’s good.

6 – When I got home at 11pm I tried to focus on sleeping and lowering my pain level but absolutely could not fall asleep until 2am.
 
Things I did today (Sunday) DAY 40

1 — got out of bed at 8:20 fell asleep at 2am last night
2 – Journaled
3 – went to town for groceries and lunch
4 – cleaned some at home.
5 – Focused on lowering my pain level most of the day.
 
Things I did today (Monday) DAY 41

1 – I did so much fucking shit today. Especially phone calls. I was on the phone with so many different places.
2 – Got gas and cleaned windshield
3 – Picked up meds from the pharmacy along with requesting one of their fuckups be fixed.
4 – Got groceries.
5 – Clocked in on time. Worked 1 hour of extra overtime.
6 – stayed up late to fill out dentist new patient paperwork and do a couple things with my insurance online.
7 – Journalled only a paragraph.

(posting this in the future I know that I didn't write down near as much as I actually did this day lol)
 
Things I did today (Tuesday) DAY 42

1 – Clocked in on time
2 – Made several important phone calls again today to pharmacies, doctors, car places, and other misc places to learn more about them.
3 – Went to a dentist appointment. ( I haven't been to one since before covid hit).
4 – Went to the foot doctor for foot pain.
5 – Went to set up autopay for my car’s insurance.
6 – Journaled
 
Things I did today (wednesday) DAY 43

1 – Clocked in on time.

2 – Was sent home from work early for absolutely retareded fucking shit im not even gonna get into. I’m basically considering myself unemployed with no source of income until I get the neck pain fixed, which at the earliest would be October IF the appointment on September 28th yields a successful diagnosis and immediate treatment plan. It’s whatever, honestly. As long as I get my paid time off for 50 hours of vacation and 22 hours of sick leave that I still have then I'll be satisfied enough. I have to see one of their doctors to get a full release to do all activities.

3 – cleaned a bunch

4 – Went to an appointment to get my car aligned. Turns out that the rear tow can’t be aligned because the rear tow links are factory and not adjustable. 80$ parts but 500$ service costs because of how much has to be taken apart to get to them. I had a decent conversation with one of the guys learning about the issue and part and everything. Good thing is that the only damaging symptom it causes is uneven wear of the tires. I declined to have them replaced and am doing my own research to see if I can possibly replace them myself.

5 – got gas, cleaned windshield.

6 – went to the bank to evaluate my total financial standings since I won’t be working anymore.

7 – Tried to not let my mind spiral and played a game on the switch along with watching netflix. Cleaning and doing various tasks was making my brain go ballistic with the possibilities and negativity of the current job situation. So I sat down and gave myself a simple, fun task.

8 — journaled

9 – Went to the bank. Got into the safety deposit box and evaluated my current situation and what the next many months will look like with no income.
 
Things I did today (Thursday) DAY 44

1 – Slept 11pm to 9am. That was awesome.

2 – journaled

3 – Deeply cleaned and organized.

4 – Made a grand to-do list which is basically just a massive list on a spectrum of different topics rather than me being so neurotic about making separate to-do lists for different categories and time periods.

5 – Spent hours researching how I can replace this part on my car to save 500$ in labor costs for someone else to do it.

6 – had a phone call with the warehouse manager regarding my standings with the company.

7 – Spent hours researching FMLA and short term disability for my state and the company I work for. Trying to figure out the best route to take with my situation.
 
Things I did today (Friday) DAY 45

1 – slept from 11pm-10am which was fucking amazing.

2 – Walk for 30 minutes after breakfast.

3 – Cleaned a bunch. Took out recycling and trash.

4 – Went to lunch with mom at a pizza place’s buffet that I wouldn't normally be able to go to because I was working.

5 – walked on a nature trail for 1hr and 30 minutes after lunch.

6 – Finally got Verizon auto pay setup and my account registered. The app and website were being cunts. Customer service at the store was able to resolve the issue after an hour of being in the store.

7 – Went to the library to write, use the good wifi, and download stuff since my wifi at home is being retarded as of 3 days ago. It hit me the other day that there is a tiny possibility that there is somewhere in town that is doable for me pain level wise that I can write on my laptop and the library is the first place I came to. It’s doable but not amazing. Honestly doable is miraculous to me though because hardly anything at all these days is doable for me.

8 –
9 – walked 30 minutes after I got home for the evening.

10 – focused on relaxing and enjoying the last few hours of the day.

11 – Came up with a crazy, almost non realistic goal to achieve in life which is to take a trip to hawaii. It's like he says envision your wildest, craziest not realistic goal or what you view as your perfect life and I came up with something like that today.
 
Things I did today (Saturday) DAY 46

1 – Got out of bed at 10am. Fell asleep at 3am last night. I could not shut my brain off so I wrote a lot and worked on a personal project.

2 – washed bedding

3 – walked 30 minutes in the morning.

4 – spent some time researching various things I want to learn more about.

5 – Resisted the urge to go buy breakfast and lunch in town.

6 – went to town in the late afternoon to get groceries, play two games of pool at a bar, 5$ late lunch, to find a good spot on the trail to walk on while I’m in town from now on, and lastly the essential minimal groceries.

7 – I resisted the need to go to the college town 30 minutes away to socialize at the bars and buy new clothing. I saved a lot of money by staying out of that town tonight.

8 – Walked three separate times in town 10 minutes each. It was hot and humid as fuck. I got some good sweat going every time.

9 – Walked a bunch at home.

10 – I RAN FOR THE FIRST TIME IN YEARS. I’ve been afraid to run because of all the possible bad things that could happen to my body given my condition. But nothing bad happened other than the usual sharp lower abdomen pain that comes with running. I only ran a half mile. A quarter mile then walking to catch my breath before turning around and doing it again. But god dam i felt amazing shortly afterwards. Coming back inside to the cold AC gave me a brief headache but I don’t think that will be a big problem. For the first time in a great while I have hope of making solid progress towards a more conditioned stronger body.

11 – I made a video/vlog type video that's 40 minutes long. I don't think I have ever done that. I’m finally embracing the idea/fact that I have to start making videos and getting more comfortable with myself and a camera. Even if I don't post yet I eventually will. Getting a tripod is a good next step. Also using a tripod and learning how to take pictures of myself or anything really is a skill I need and want to learn. On a budget now of course.
 
Things I did today (Sunday) DAY 47

1– Slept from 1am-11am

2 – ate an early breakfast as well as journal

3 – I watched the video I took last night.

4 – I went back and posted all of my progress logs that I haven't posted in the past 20 days or so. I'm finally back caught up posting in the forums now and since I’m not working anymore I have no excuse to not post every day. I need to also spend some time on the forums in general hearing other peoples stories and reading their posts and replying to people. To truly become an active member rather than just a guy that posts his logs once in a while.

5 – Spent some time researching camera setups, tripod, etc. I almost have one picked out to purchase. I just have a hard time pulling the trigger on items like that sometimes.

6 – Spent a ton of time on the laptop trying to get more setup on it with the Microsoft apps and all my accounts from my phones. I struggle with what may seem like basic computer knowledge or skills to most people.

7 – ordered a tripod from amazon
 
Things I did today (Monday) DAY 48

1 – Slept 1am-9:30am

2 – journalled some in the morning.

3 – Went to a doctor's appointment. That was a tough one. I have a needle phobia and had to make the tough choice of either quitting medicine for my skin condition or trying another new one but it's not pills, it's injections. So I chose to see this issue through and got the injections in my legs.

4 – I had plans to go play pool, go to a couple bars to socialize, and then continue trying on clothes and shoes to update my style. I felt like shit and almost just said fuck it and went straight home after the appointment. I made myself go try on clothes and shoes and such. I bought some socks but can't bring myself to buy a hat even though I really would like one and the idea of one. I just feel like I look absolutely ridiculous wearing one.

5 – Went to Best Buy to consult with people about the various car issues I want to fix and upgrade. It went successfully in making a few of my next steps in the process solidified. It's a big grand picture one time project and I have half the plan firmly figured out now. At the end of the conversation the guy said “don't worry man. You're on the right path”. That absolutely changed my mood and mindframe for the rest of the day in a positive way.

6 – Stopped by my brother's house on the way home to catch up with them and make fathers day plans for dad this week.

7 – Spent more time digging through the company handbook and researching more on FMLA, short term disability, and long term disability. As well as what other options I have than going to see the company doctor for the “fit for duty exam” which feels like it is a trap and will go exactly the way the company wants it to fit their “gotta cover our asses” agenda.

8 – Had a phenomenal phone call with my friend's mom who used to work in HR. That phone call was a game changer and tomorrow I have a better mission in place of all the doctors to call, HR to contact for more in depth policies than what the handbook has, and my alternatives for the many many possible things that could happen through all of this. I was uneducated when it came to stuff like this and no amount of research on the computer was going to help my understanding like the phone call with her did. I don’t feel powerless anymore and know that the company is in the wrong and the deeper meaning behind their actions and words in the conversation before they sent me home last week. It all makes so much sense now.
 
Things I did today (Tuesday) DAY 49

1– Fell asleep at 11pm and woke up at 3am and could not for the life of me fall back asleep. I tried until 6am when I gave up on trying to fall back asleep since I had to be up at 6:50 to follow my schedule for the day.

2 – Decided to go to the nature trail 2 miles away to walk and run. Total trip was 2 miles. I fast walked the entire time but after .8 miles I ran a total of 6 minutes in 3 separate 2 minute intervals giving myself time in between each one to catch my breath. It felt great mostly. Had some minor sharp pain in the ankle where the metal plate is and some common sharp lower abdomen pain but overall it was okay. The bugs on that trail killed me though my god.

3 — called all the doctors on the list I made last night. Its 11:44am right now. I am waiting for HR lady to get done with lunch to call and get those policies and forms sent to me for the doctor to fill out. I have the one specific good doctor waiting for me to send them those forms and my job description to write a letter that agrees with my condition and will have the correct route to take with short term disability.

4 – Scheduled an appointment with my primary care this afternoon to see if he can also do this thing I’m needing done regarding the work issue. The more information from more doctors all with the same consensus about my issue the greater.

5 – I ended up calling HR to get the forms for short term disability and FMLA. I was on the phone with her for an hour and 20 minutes. It was amazingly informative. She gave me tons of options aside from FMLA and short term disability. She is working up the folder for both of those to send me by the end of the day tomorrow but sent the FMLA stuff to my work that way it's active and in place for them so they don’t fire me or have issues on their end with stuff. So I am officially not working until my neck pain issue gets fixed. It’s one of the better things that could happen to me in life now after having nearly a week of experiencing what this version of life can look like. I’m still stuck at my parents and it's going to be like that for a long time until I can get a real job again. I kind of already knew this for a long time and came to terms with it. It will be my greatest limiting factor in life aside from my actual pain itself but I’d be beyond fucked if I hadn’t had such a great support system the last few years of my life.

6 – Made spontaneous plans to go to the lake and swim with my friend and his gf. It was a really fun time. I haven't swam in 3 years and weighing 180 felt amazing compared to when I was 250 the last time. The logistics were favorable so I took the opportunity to drink. It was the spontaneous carefree adventure I've been searching for for so long. It hit different than going to the clubs a few weekends ago. He had work in the morning so it was an early night. I was home by 11:30pm but couldn't fall asleep until 2am.

7 – Journaled.
 
Things I did today (wednesday) DAY 50

1 – slept from 2am-10am.

2 – Journalled a good amount.

3 – received and reviewed the folder that HR sent me. It's pretty messy. There's a few problematic key points I’ve been trying to figure out the last two hours but I think HR may have the answers. I’m probably just going to have to call them again before sending the stuff to my doctor. I have until july 1 to get them filled and returned to HR.

4 – did some dishes and cleaned a little.

5 – Messed with the new tripod I got yesterday. It’s not good if it is stood up at a higher height.
 
Things I did today (thursday) DAY 51

1 – Slept 12am-10am

2 – posted the last few days lists in the forums

3 – journaled

4 – cleaned a ton. I cleared off and organized everything that was on my tables and desks. I got rid of a bunch of stuff I didn’t know I still had.

5 – walked but mostly ran for 47 minutes at the trail for a total of 3.4 miles. That is the most exercise I have done at one time in years. I'm building up and doing more each time I exercise so that I try to give it my best and not just do it because I know I need to.

6 — Figured out a decent little setup to take videos of myself for future content and just to work on being comfortable with myself on camera and to work on speaking skills and all that.

7 – I think the best thing I did today was kick my ass into gear around 2pm. I felt like shit all morning and didn't get anything accomplished other than consume content on snapchat, youtube, and instagram.

8 — Hooked up a new shower head that I bought on amazon the other day. I’m honestly extremely frustrated with myself for not figuring this out and doing it years ago because it makes the shower extremely better in so many different ways. Especially with how I’m way less prone to hurting from not having a low hanging shower head like beforehand. Now I can take much faster showers since it's not stuck in the wall head anymore. It is a detachable wand. That was an amazing upgrade to my life today.

9 – I took a 20 minute video vlog type thing with the setup I figured out. I definitely did a lot better than the first video the other day. I feel so great after doing the video. It was the same kind of feeling I got after giving speeches in public speaking class during college and highschool. Or saying a bunch of stuff to my basketball teammates during pregame, halftime, and after the game.
 
Things I did today (Friday) DAY 52

1 – Slept 12:20 am to 10am. Made a decent breakfast.

2 – Played some Halo multiplayer. That may not sound like a productive good thing but it does wonders for me with relaxation and a feeling of being good at something. I can rarely play it without lag because of how bad our internet is. That’s how it was growing up too.

3 – made a to do list for today

4 – called the doctors about sending them the fmla paperwork.

5 – washed, dried, folded, and hung up all of my laundry. I put away all of my winter clothes and reorganized the dressers and hang rack.

6 – shaved face.

7 – Payed the rest of my tags off for the car.

8 – Walked and ran 57 minutes for 2.7 miles

9 – I didn’t spend any money in town except for the tags and gas for the car.

10 – got gas and cleaned the windshield.

11 - Journaled
 
I've been bad and haven't posted my lists in a couple weeks. I'm on day 70 but am catching up posting from day 53. A for effort or something like that.

Things I did today (Saturday) DAY53

1 – slept 12AM to 9AM focused on rest the first hour of the day to try and have a lower pain level than the last 3-4 days.

2 – went to town and did the following: went to the bank. Walked half a mile in between stops. Got a car wash, it was long overdue. Got lunch for 4$ at taco bell. Played two games of pool at the north bar. Went to Walmart and spent 10$. While in Walmart I actually socialized with two of the workers that I found attractive. I pussied out in trying to ask them for contact information or future projecting in a situation that has the “we” frame. I was so close to doing that with the first one too so I’m kinda sad about that but hey they’ll probably still be working there in the future.

3 – walked for 30 minutes in the evening.

4 – I was depressed most of the day and made myself go to town to do all those things. Outside of going to town I didn't really do much today.
 
Things I did today (Sunday) DAY 54

1 – Slept from 11:30 to 8:30. I set alarms to wake up and be out of bed by 8:30 this morning. I haven't set any alarms in the 11 days I haven't been working. Last night in the shower I realized that maybe my shitty attitude and higher level of neck pain the last few days could be because I’m sleeping too much and or not getting up early enough. I remember a couple months ago I had this similar issue when I had an extended weekend using some vacation time, as well as Christmas time, so I am trying to fix this by waking up around 8am from now on.

2 – went to fathers day lunch.

3 – walked for two miles on the trail in town after lunch.

4 – hangout with a friend for a little bit in the evening.

5 – filled out more of the short term disability paperwork.

6 – Made a to-do list for tomorrow of highly important things regarding records, doctors, paperwork, morning routine, etc.

7 – I was stressing out trying to accomplish stuff on the computer in the later part of the evening so I made myself watch netflix to try and relax a little.
 
Things I did today (Monday) DAY 55

1 – Slept from midnight to 7:40 am.

2 – Crossed off EVERYTHING on my massive to-do list today. Today has been absolutely wild. There’s close to 20 stacks of documents around me that I've been organizing since 9pm. It’s 1:27am. I'm wired and crushing it with this stuff. They are records from my visits with my primary care physician from 2015- spring 2022. I've been needing/wanting/trying to do exactly this for many months. I was over analyzing the last few days until I decided to truly condense my focus and go all in with the stuff that matters the most for my overall life and its future as an awesome human being. This has been such a massive obstacle to get past my entire life. ANALYSIS PARALYSIS. I can’t let that continue to dictate my progress with my goals, mental health, and entire life as a whole. So getting this dumb condition figured out #1 Learning all of the medical stuff in these documents to where I can decipher them and form my own calibrated opinions and alternate options. Continuing to get more pieces of clothing to better my style #2. Borrowing and learning how to use my sister in laws dslr camera to take pictures of everything to start but more importantly myself to get them tinder worthy pictures in my bag to market myself. Getting a better skin care routine, tan, exercise legs, keep moving forward with positive vibes.

3 – Jounralled a bunch

4 – Went to doctor appointment.

5 – Spent 10am-2:30am working super hard on going through, organizing, and making copies of certain documents. Basically I had a bunch of important documents and mail from the last two years that were in a massive stack and never opened or went through properly. Crazy how tonight I did the exact same thing with all the doctor records.

6 – Explored a lake I hadn’t been to before. It was 8 minutes outside the town my appointment was in so I decided to check it out. It's small and has a great tiny trail that would be great for walking. I found several places to hang out in the future. I had my swimming/lake pack with me so I was prepared and wanted to swim but the swim beach was FULL of people.

7 – I tried on more shorts. One pair was a slam dunk if it were a little bigger and had smaller pockets on the front. That pair is the one I want for my next purchase.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top