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Vizzy's Progress Log

Things I did today (Tuesday) DAY 56

1 – slept from 3am to 9am.

2 – Absolutely crushed it with my to do list today. It took me the whole day until right now at 4:23pm.

3 – Several phone calls to doctors to acquire records.

4 – I’ve read through 20 new pages of records I got today and made notes on them. I half-assedly organized them.

5 – I ordered a new high quality skin routine for my face along with a shampoo brush and foot file.

6 – tanned for a very short period of time to play it safe.

7 – cleaned. I still have a fat stack of the other records from yesterday that I haven’t even looked through.
 
Things I did today (Wednesday) DAY 57

1 – slept 1am to 8am.

2 – called more doctors. I'm having a really hard time with one of them. Over a year it's like talking to a black hole with them trying to get my records for just two appointments I had with the doctor, one of which was an injection into my spine. It would be nice to know what drug was put in me and why the doctor wanted to do it and why he thinks it didn't work. I am so fucking angry about this. But whatever I’ll get it figured out I’m tired of giving up on very important stuff like this. Fuckem.

3 – organized more of the pile of documents/records I have.

4 – Went to my brothers to visit them. I’m borrowing my sister in law's Canon EOS M200 camera to start learning and taking pictures. It’s mirrorless so it's not a DSLR camera but it's a hell of a lot better than my cell phone that has the worst camera out of all their models on it.

5– Went to the usual town after visiting my brothers. Without having a job I'm not drinking at places now. It was late when I got to town so a ton of the things I wanted to do there were out of the equation. I’m disappointed in myself now for not just going tomorrow during the day to do all those other things that I wanted to do because it costs 20$ in gas to go to that town and back. But oh well at least i have the camera to start working with.

6 – played pool with a few different people at these places. Got to know them at the basic level the usual. No real connections or future projecting or exchanging of social media or anything. I'm still working on putting myself out there more in that sense of making future plans and trying to be friends because I'm so goddamn weird at these places by myself sober with the neck always being a cunt doesn't matter much if i take the muscle relaxers and smoke. It's always there unless I get completely drunk. So with me being limited and trying to be included in other people's stuff it just doesn't work because of how limited I am with the basic stuff in life like sitting at a hard table on a barstool or standing in one spot. It's so depressing when I want to push through this awkward weird social lack of experience but the neck rules so much out of the equation. I just feel overwhelmed and like I'm fighting too many uphill battles all the time. But who isn't you know. Like andy said in one of his recent videos “no fucking arms. No fucking legs. Look at this guy. No fucking arms no fucking legs. If this guy can accomplish his goals and have a beautiful wife and family then you can do whatever the fuck it is your dealing with”.
 
Things I did today (Thursday) DAY 58

1 – slept 3am to 10am. I fucked up and somehow my watch was on silent overnight so I didn't have any alarms go off to wake me up

2 – journaled 1358 words so far (4:09pm)

3 – organized , cleaned and got rid of a bunch of old junk

4 – finally figured out the way I want to rearrange my room after months of tormenting myself trying to figure out a way to comfortably utilize my desk and desktop pc.

5 – speed walked on the treadmill for 30 minutes

6 – deleted some old pictures and screenshots I found relating to my ex.

7 – I set up the canon camera app and took a bunch of pictures of random stuff in the house trying to use different settings and rule out what setting with what lighting does not work. It's hard because I can't see the picture after I take it unless I toggle out of the menus to view it but I can probably fix that somehow.
 
Things I did today (Friday) DAY 59

1 – slept 1am to 9:20am

2 – looked up and added new songs to my library.

3 – had a phone call with someone from short term disability.

4 – Hardcore cleaned today following up with yesterday. I spent at least 4 hours deep cleaning, vacuuming, and moving stuff around everywhere. I got rid of all of the trash from the house along with recycling.

5 – fought the urge to go to the gas station for a diet coke and zebra cake. Honestly really proud I won that battle today. If i can manage to not binge eat tonight then this will be the first good day diet wise in weeks. I've really been struggling the last month or two.

6 – received 130 pages of records I ordered the other day that I looked through and read on the laptop. I am beyond pissed that the format is fucked up and I can’t print it in full pages. It's too zoomed in so you can only print the left side of a page rendering the entire thing useless for printing. So I’ve got to get that figured out. I need it physically on hand. To combine with everything else.

7 – journalled.

8 – Around noon I pulled myself out of the depressional slump I was in and kicked it into gear to be productive and get shit done.

9 – Downloaded the canon camera software to the laptop so I can instantly transfer pictures and freely edit them there. I’m going to put that into practice tomorrow when I take a bunch of pictures.

10 – Washed, dried, and put away a load of laundry.
 
Things I did today (Saturday) DAY 60

1 – Vacuumed. Organized. Got rid of a bunch of stuff I thought I needed but didn't actually need. Rearranged my room and living area.

2 – spent two hours hand washing my car and minorly detailing the inside of it. I have a horrendous sunburn on my entire backside from that because I forgot to put a shirt on beforehand.

3 – Speed walked a total of 4.5 miles on the treadmill today which was fucking amazing.

4 – Drank four or five 32oz cups of water.

5 – Took a bunch of photos with the camera outside of random stuff. The camera was a complete pain in the ass and I couldn't hold it steady for a not blurry picture to save my life but I made myself continue trying. I'm about to look through the photos and work with the companion app on the laptop to try and utilize this whole situation to its fullest potential.

6— slept 12am to 9am. I woke up feeling decent and wasn't in as much pain this morning as I have been the last week or more. Undoubtedly the reason I felt so inspired and motivated to get shit done today.

7 – I messaged 3 friends I haven't talked to in a while to see if they wanted to grab a drink or something in these next few upcoming days or this week
 
Things I did today (Sunday) DAY 61

1 – Slept 1am to 8:20am

2 – Journalled 391 words so far. (10:37am)

3 – finished vacuuming everything FINALLY.

4 — took a tire off my car to see if it will fit in the back under the compartment. It does not fit so RIP to having a legit spare tire.

5 – inspected the rear toe link bar and what would entail for me replacing it. It looks simple but there's gotta be something I'm missing in my evaluation because the dealership would charge 195$ per side to do the rear axle. There's a long complicated story on this issue that I dug up while researching it after taking the tire off. I'm going to pursue this issue tomorrow or Tuesday after I take care of the doctor business.

6 – Speed walked on the treadmill for 4 miles today.

7 – Visited a friend and his girlfriend.

8 – Organized a bunch of files and documents on my laptop. I learned a basic computer thing everyone probably knows that I didn’t know in the process of doing so.

9 – I got my documents prepared, schedule, and a game plan made for tomorrow.

10 – I finally got the canon app and everything working on my laptop in conjunction with the camera itself now and transferred all the pictures over that I’ve taken so far.

11 – Drank several 32oz cups of water.
 
Things I did today. (Monday) DAY 62

1 – Crushed it with my really long to-do list. Phone calls with the doctors went really well today compared to normal. One had a cancellation 2 days from now so that changes the game for me big time with my job situation regarding fmla, short term disability, and advancement in my treatment in general. I took a chance even calling this doctor not expecting anything and then it turned out to be such a great opportunity so I’m really really happy about that.

2 – Journalled. Drank several 32oz cups of water. Hit the treadmill for 20 minutes so far 1:32pm

3 – Did a bunch of dishes.

4 – updated and tried to get my desktop pc working to its potential like it should be.

5 - I finally got the records from the one doctor that I've been trying to get for over a year so I am very relieved to finally get that taken care of after so much negativity over it in my life.
 
Things I did today (tuesday) DAY 63

1 – Made several calls to doctors offices.
2 – Acquired many new records from doctors, analyzed and organized them
3 – Overstressed and went really far down the rabbit hole of trying to get everything properly prepared and organized for tomorrow's doctor visit and long drive to KC.
 
Things I did today (wednesday) DAY 64

1 – Slept 3am to 8am

2 – Went to the doctor's appointment. It was to get the fmla paperwork done and discuss further treatment. Well, turns out further treatment could have been trying another injection. So I got one. It went wayyyyyy better than the first time. All around was a much better experience and less painful. She went in depth with me on the paperwork and treatment as a whole which tremendously helped me with my mental state and gave an immense sense of relief. Funny story with the injection last time. I saw the needle last time and flipped my lid because of my fear of needles. But this time I wanted to see the syringe and take a picture of it to kind of face my fears so I did it and it was a milestone for me mentally with facing my fears.

3 -- After the appointment and getting the injection I spent some time in the area. I took a bunch of pictures from on top of the parking garage of the hospitals and surrounding environment. I also went to this memorial place on top of this massive hill that had a really big arch structure. It was pretty cool. I didn't get very many actually good pictures of it simply because I’m not good with the camera yet and there were trees above me blocking the light. I spent probably 30 minutes there taking pictures of it. After that I went to this well known park 15 minutes away and spent an hour there taking all kinds of pictures. I loved that park in general. I had to rest and try to pace myself through all of these photo sessions because of the pain and having two full syringes of drugs recently put into my neck and shoulders. There was a bunch more stuff I wanted to do in the city other than take pictures but I decided pictures were the most important and productive thing I could do while up there.
 
Things I did today (Thursday) DAY 65

1 – Slept 2am to 10:30 am

2 – I stayed in bed all day today because most of the time my neck was in very little to no pain in bed which NEVER happens in bed or in general. So I grabbed on to that painlessness and made the most out of its precious time in my life while I could.

3 – Emailed and faxed the completed fmla paperwork to HR

4 – I tried to do a couple things and get on the computer for a bit today but immediately got back in bed when the pain level started to come back. One of the smarter decisions I’ve made in recent history
 
Things I did today (Friday) DAY 66

1 – Slept 12am-10:30am gave my neck some rest time before getting out of bed

2 – Called HR and left a message

3 – Called a short term disability claim worker to update them on my status.

4 – Went to town for lunch with a friend and his coworkers.

5 – Got groceries
 
Things I did today (Saturday) DAY 67

1 – Slept 1am to 11:30am. Made a nice healthy breakfast

2 – Made spontaneous plans to stay with a friend and his girlfriend in a town 80 miles away. She was housesitting the place we stayed at.

3 – Did laundry. Shaved. Packed my stuff for the trip. Got gas. Checked the tire pressure and oil.

4 – Drank a bunch after getting to the house and played catch outside in the street along with waterpong inside. I hooked up my xbox to take advantage of the fast wifi there in order to download updates that would take over a week of constant updating at my house to complete.
 
Things I did today (Sunday) DAY68

1 – Slept 4am to 8am

2 – Went to some local places for breakfast in this new town that I was staying in.

3 – Got my nephew a badass birthday present

4 – Went home. It was an hour and 20 minute drive with a few really dumb detours or things i had to stop and fix with my car.

5 – Washed most of my bedding and pillowcases.

6 – Went to my brothers for my nephews birthday party and 4th of july thing.

7 – Went clothes shopping in town. I bought one new pair of shorts and some logo-less socks so that was a success.
 
Things I did today (Monday) DAY 69

1 – slept 4am to 11:30am

2 – Played cod for an hour or so enjoyably

3 – Listed to a couple informative podcasts

4 – Did all the laundry and betting then put it all away.

5 – I was depressed and in a really bad place mentally all day despite trying to break myself out of it most of the day. I didn’t get much accomplished today because of this.

6 - Watched a few new movies on netflix as a distraction from tormenting myself trying to get in a better mood and get stuff done.
 
Yoo bro, hope you're good. Just logging in here to see what you're doing to work towards your 2022 goals.

2022 goals-

2 new lays
Buy a car
Move out
Make five new friends that I talk to every day
Make one new close friend
Journal every day
Click to expand...

I can see you're journaling every day which is fantastic but are any steps being made for the others.
 
TimmyTurner said:
Yoo bro, hope you're good. Just logging in here to see what you're doing to work towards your 2022 goals.

2022 goals-

2 new lays
Buy a car
Move out
Make five new friends that I talk to every day
Make one new close friend
Journal every day
Click to expand...

I can see you're journaling every day which is fantastic but are any steps being made for the others.
Click to expand...

Hey man I appreciate you checking in!! On those goals listed the only concrete thing I have crossed off is buying a car. I've made one more friend that I'm close with and talk to every day. There are a few others that I casually talk to every few days or on the weekends. I go out and socialize with strangers as much as I can. The 2 new lays I've been working towards everyday in one way or another. My primary mission in that sense is fixing my style/wardrobe and taking pictures. I'm slowly making progress on my style every couple days. As far as pictures, that's what I am really struggling with. I haven’t been able to find someone to take pictures of me yet. That would speed this process up immensely. I already have locations and “poses” for tinder worthy pictures. I just need someone to take pictures of me there. Doing it solo is a very new and slow tedious process that I am learning and giving a shot. In the last week I got a new daily skin care routine and I started teeth whitening. As far as my goal to move out….. That goal has pretty much been shattered for me in 2022 honestly. My job sent me home from work 28 days ago because I couldn't physically tolerate the different job they wanted me to start doing. I have no income and only about 4 months of minimal living expenses saved up. I can’t get a job because of my pain and application for short term disability. So I’m making the most of it and improving myself as much as I physically can. If I get medically fixed in October when I have the next appointment and then return to work I will move out ASAP. I cannot wait for that day to come.
 
Things I did today (Tuesday) DAY 70

1 – Slept 1am to 10am

2 – Finished bfast and morning routine by 11:30

3 – Called in a prescription that I forgot to fill before the holiday.

4 – Caught up posting in the forums.

5 – picked up meds from pharmacy

6 – made 10$ helping a friend with something.

7 – walked for 20 minutes. I need to get back exercising. I've been taking it easy since the injection last wednesday but I think the pain level should be normal with exercise now and not be too high hopefully.
 
Things I did today (wednesday) DAY 71

1 – Slept 1am to 9:30 am

2 – Journalled. I finally wrote a bunch about some stuff that I needed to get out of my mind that has been stopping me from making better progress on my goals this last week.

3 – Went to a doctor's appointment, the bank, Walmart, and two auto parts stores to consult about my car situation. Finally got what I'm basically looking for on that front. I also got two new pairs of shorts in town so I finally have a few GOOD pairs of shorts to wear when I'm out and about. The wardrobe is slowly growing.

4 – Made several changes to my bathroom that reduce the amount of painful things I have to do as part of my morning and evening shower routines.
 
Things I did today (Thursday) DAY 72

1 – slept 1am to 7:20 am. Did my morning routine really early. Felt good this morning for the first time in a week.

2 – Crushed it with my to-do list today. Called several doctors to get some billing and insurance stuff squared away, Set up two appointments with new doctors.

3 – went to town for a couple groceries, got a haircut, and confirmed with the dealership doing a future alignment on my car that the new parts I found are acceptable to put on the car in order for them to properly do the alignment. I ordered the parts and they will be here tomorrow.

4 – Journalled a decent amount.

5 - spent some time researching bathroom sinks. I’m going to replace my current one with an all new everything. It's not as complicated as I thought it was originally. That will be a fun little project to do.

6 – Cleaned and organized

7 – Posted in the forums.

8 – made a to do list for tomorrow and then planned a trip to a different town.

9 – Spent an hour and a half researching and trying to pick a car navigation system to purchase. Not having one of those has been killing me when I’m out and about.
 
Things I did today (Friday) DAY 73

1 – Slept 1am to 8am. Did my morning routine fairly early.

2 – Had a phone call with two different medicine companies/pharmacies for this new medicine I started a couple weeks ago.
3 – deleted a ton of sad songs from my library.

4 – Put away laundry.
5 – Organized all the files on my desktop pc and flash drive

6 – I found a forum for owners of my car and hopped on to read on this tow link issue that I’ve been dealing with the last couple weeks. I got the parts today and plan to put them on tomorrow then get it aligned. That's my plan. I cannot wait to post a success story on there because there are so many people struggling with the issue and are further behind than i was a week ago.

7 – I spent an hour reading in my cars handbook to learn more about many things I’ve been confused with recently
8 – Called a Cadillac dealership and got information on several of the things on my list of fixes/upgrades for my car.

9 – went to a few bars and socialized after running some errands in town. I finally got a decent tripod for the camera from an old lady on craigslist for 10$ so i'm pretty happy about that.

10 – Had a spontaneous camping trip with a friend that I hadn’t seen since late 2019. Him and the 6 other of his friends camped out all night but I just went out from 10pm to 2:30 am since I had a 45 minute drive back home. It was a really good time. They were all really nice and chill people with good senses of humor. I was the only one not drinking. We made plans to do the same thing next Thursday or Friday night except this time we will all be much more prepared and I'll be drinking and staying the night out there as well. I’m really looking forward to it and hope it goes through. I haven’t camped since the summer of 2018. I used to do it all the time and loved it but things changed with work and everything.
11 – journaled 472 words
 
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