DATE #6 W/ L
Quick writeup for you bros, not a lay, nothing even goal related, but I feel this has been important for my development. Date #6 with L.
We had a dialogue previously around companionship, and how my priority is pursuing my goals. She understood I’m heading home for a few months, and was fine with this. I will still be coming back and fourth to London – I am now an entrepreneur, this is where the money is, and I am out here looking to GET IT.
So….
I fast all day. BW was 193.7lbs in the morning, so looking solid. Biz work gets a lil wild and I end up not being able to make the gym, so I push gym to tomorrow and Sat to make sure all sessions get done.
Blast out work. 6, eat a small amount, record it and then off to see L at 630. She’s vegan, and we reserve a table at a lovely vegan restaurant which is about 10mins from me and one of the top 10 vegan places in London. I am not vegan, just to be clear. I believee consuming DHA from marine fish is one of the best habits we can ever have for health and will be writing more about this.
Anyway.
We first meet at a pub right near the station. She rocks up, looking just lovely.
We hug, she looks me up and down and tells me I look good today. Nice. I compliment her back. We chat for a while. It’s such a pleasure being around her and always makes me feel good.
We then go to the restaurant, and banter a little. We’re being a bit silly and having a good time. We order our meal, get a beer, and I am thinking in the back of my mind, fuck man I am going to suffer on the scale tomorrow because of this. And of course, I did. This is why physique development sometimes has to be a true focus for a guy. FOCUS is what gets results, when you sacrifice other things and just do ONE or at most TWO things with extreme vigour, to the point of obsession. That’s how you win. Esp. if you’re an underdog. That’s how people like Andy did it, go back and read Musings of a Non-Completionist: The Hustle.
L is really a lovely woman, she’s smart, funny, good looking, and importantly, kind.
When her meal arrives, the first thing she does is try a little, and then have me taste some. When her beer arrives, she takes a sip, and then has be taste it. Little things like this feel incredibly good to me and contribute very positively to my process of healing.
We eat, and then go to pick up a bottle of wine. YUP. We split a bottle of rose. I did OMAD, I rode through hours of hunger, and then I saw L and drank too much. However, I didn’t eat the entire meal – I ate, at best, 50% of it because I knew I was fucking up. I will be better today I assure you.
Go back to my place. As I am nearing the door, my psyche begins to start distorting. I am convinced she will get to the door, and turn around and say “Right, I have to go home now”. I am feeling all over the place. But we get to the building, enter, and go over to the lift no worries.
We enter my apartment, and I start to feel all distorted again, thinking she will be hella uncomfortable and want to leave.
I show her around, take a seat on the sofa, we have a glass of wine and talk.
She then asks me to bring over a throw so we can get under it and talk.
“Sure, it’s in my room, we can just go over and listen to music”
I then do sense some real tension in her, I also feel the same tension in me just asking.
“OK”
Phew…….
We keep talking on my sofa, get up close, and make out briefly.
Head to my room, and start listening to music. Mostly 80s soul stuff, I was in that sort of mood.
We talk and get super close, get under a throw and slug a further glass of wine.
“It’s my one free evening before I go to Thailand, I have absolutely no time for any of my friends or family, and you got it…..I demand you appreciate that ;-)” she tells me, and I can feel her vulnerability
I know L is telling the truth here, she is doing well in life, making quite a fair bit of money (near 6 figures), has a very thriving social life and is doing a lot. I know many people want her time. And yet, despite that, I am able to get it above so many other people. That is just amazing.
Our conversation gets incredible deep and we share a bunch.
We talk about sex, kinks, and things we like sexually for quite a while. We’re right next to each other, my hand is on her ass, she is looking just so good, her ass, boobs, everything is just lush.
We’re cuddled up close and kiss here and there.
CREATING A BUBBLE
Pancakemouse has infomed me of the importance of being able to do this on dates, in being so engaging, so connected, and stimulating, that the entire world fades away and you and the girl create a bubble around yourselves.
I had never experienced this. Until last night.
We’re talking about attraction, and what we’re into physically, and the subject of attraction beyond looks comes up. She tells me she has met many men who were just stunningly beautiful, and utterly chiselled (goals) but in conversation will just talk endlessly about themselves. I commented a little on this, and how attraction can occur beyond looks (game in a nutshell).
I noticed as I was communicating this, she was utterly spellbound, hanging on my every word, and the experience was intense. I was aware it was happening, her face was inches from my own, and everything seemed to go into slow motion, the entire world faded away and it was just Me & Her.
The way she was looking at me was like nothing I’ve ever experienced before.
“...I was hanging on your every word, Ravi”
I felt it. This was an epic moment and the first time something like that has happened for me.
We talked BIZ. L is pretty smart and she told me a bunch about sales, and how she did her client outreach and calls for years. She told me her approach is all about being very present, and targeting clients with money basically. She told me she splits her outreach process into 3 categories, and interestingly, spends some time pursuing experienced people in her own industry to ask to pick their brains – she called this her “ego calls”, and told me she got invaluable information from this and also a lot of business, many of these folks had client overflow which they referred to her.
“How can that help you?”……..
The first thing she thinks of is how this can help me with my accountability coaching business, IronWill. This is very sweet and we discuss how I could do this kind of outreach. I will also talk with Andy about this, as well as my bros more broadly, and of course, you all.
We talk about our different dates, and she opens up about date #1, which I wrote 13 fucking pages about and posted a few weeks back.
“Ravi, when we were texting, I thought you’d be a brash, overly confident tosser. When I met you, for the first few hours, I did think you were an asshole. But by the end of the date, my anxiety went all the way up to the maximum, because I really liked you. I want you to know, after our first date, I went home and cried for 10 minutes straight, because it went so well”
I an listening intently, and so much of the advice I was given from Pancakemouse and The Dom was ringing true, it was quite mindblowing
“In particular, there was a moment at the start of our first date when I was really shocked. I asked if it would be OK if we headed outside, because I was feeling quite hot, and you told me you felt more comfortable indoors. You said no to me. I was genuinely shocked and couldn’t believe it. My first thought was, “Who does this arrogant bastard think he is saying no to me? Men NEVER say no to me…..” That really threw me. But I knew I had to give you the benefit of the doubt”
Bros, this is so important.
You MUST make her feel.
“Take risks, push the limits, be incorrigible. STAND OUT”
-Pancakemouse
“Women live in the world of emotions, they want to FEEL, Ravi. Logic will bore her, and like Dracula recoiling from the light, she will be repulsed”
-The Dom
If you’re not getting the outcomes you want: time to learn DATE GAME.
Mine is still weak, but I got it right with L, and have had very fantastic experiences out of that performance. It paid dividends.
L commented further:
“Most dates with men, and dealing with men in general, you see them in this “YES” state. Everything you say, everything you do, they’re just nodding their head “YES” and going along with everything you say, you want, whatever. It’s because all their thinking is one thing: penis in the vagina, penis in the vagina, penis in the vagina, penis in the vagina…..”
Fascinating because I remember when I was like this, very nice guy, agreeable – I still have to work on this hard, but damn dude, this shit makes women truly sickened.
Furthermore, shows you the reality of attractive girls. Men in the world generally fawn over L and behave like total spastics around her. She finds it extremely creepy and gross. Over the course of the self improvement process, endless dates and approaches, you burn your nice guy tendencies and agreeableness away.
Like poison dripping from the the veins, it just seeps away, drop by drop. Every date, every approach, every time you push it, the pain you feel inside, it is the subconscious change we need to KILL THE BETA and allow something else to shine through
TRUE MASCULINITY
MAC ACOUSTIC PERFORMANCE
We’re winding down and I then decide to pick up the guitar and play for a bit.
She gets very excited by one particular song she remembers, and claps her hands, it’s super adorable. She is fan girling a bit and is loving it.
I stop playing after a few songs, and look over to her. She is kinda melting. It’s an epic sight, and is burned into my brain now….wow…….
I jump over and we make out, quite passionately, holding each other quite tight.
We chat a bit more, and then she calls herself an uber at around 11.
A lovely evening, with a truly lovely creature. What a lady.
I worked my fucking ASS off to have experiences like this. I am sat there with her and just pinching myself, asking is this real. At one point, her pretty head is in my lap and I am sipping a glass of rose, running my fingers through her hair, listening to music, and just truly in disbelief. Every thought that is exploding in my brain is telling me she is going to look up, see my ugly face, notice how unattractive I am, and her face is going to distort into disgust. I am so convinced this is going to happen, I am actually seeing it in my minds eye as I am with her, and she looks up and says something, and I am convinced she is about to say she has to go home and isn’t feeling it.
But it never happens.
I am just asking myself, what is happening man?
I was an incel. I was a virgin until 29. I had never been on a date and I used to weigh 275lbs. I used to have so much anxiety I didn’t leave my parents house for 2 years at one stage (the lost years, 25-27). I was a shut in, an obese wreck, who cried himself to sleep many, many nights. I had one of the most fucked up and sick minds of all time and lived in the absolute core of hell, sometimes literally so sick I was close to death. One day in particular I think I was close to death and it terrifies me to this day.
And yet…..I am now here.
I think it’s fucking crazy sometimes, how a guy that fucked up can experience things like this.
The ladies will never know what some of us have been through, just for the chance of redemption, to throw the dice just once more, to dance under the lights, to feel he sun on our skin, to just rise above our challenges and demons and say, I too am in this world, and I too have a chance.
Somewhere along the line, the underdog is forced to go deep inside of himself and make a decision, the supreme decision, that either he will make something of himself in this world and become someone he respects
Or he will literally die trying
There is a treasure buried itself myself, I know it, I know it, I absolutely know it
No matter the situation I was born into and what happened, I know I was not destined to lose
There WILL be a path for victory for me and one day I will know in my heart of hearts, that I too, have fucking made it
That day will be the sweetest day I will ever know
But until then…………..
KEEP WORKING
POSITIVE SELF TALK,
MAC
