YOOOOOOOOOO!
So I felt really bad for telling the girl yesterday I wasn't feeling it. She was a sensitive girl and it has truly bothered me I didn't bring my A Game. I arrived totally fasted for 40hrs, full of cortisol, adrenaline and stress hormones from grinding for legit 8 hours on foot non stop making content with my friend.
Debrief with the secret group, pancake drops some gems and solidifies the focus of level one of re-engineering my vibe.
Shout out to Timmy who called me out for ranting like a mad man on the forums, lol. He knew I do it to vent and then I'm good, but still, many dudes call me out on it now and I don't need to keep doing it. I will fix the problems or otherwise go for a long walk or take a day off or something.
Level 1 - teasing, playful disagreeableness. Stop aggreeing with everything she says, "that's cool", "that's interesting", I say this hundreds of times.....
So getting over that is level 1.
I have date 23 tonight, cute little thing, girl is 5 ft 3 to my 6 ft 5.
I feel AWFUL for my conduct on the date yesterday and putting on such a poor show for the girl. She was a lovely human and honestly I am happy if THEY ghost or tell me they're not feeling it, but when it's ME who is initiating the cut off, it feels very horrible and also when it's my own damn fault, that is unacceptable.
In order to take action to resolve this, I do not cold approach today, I rest up, do an ice bath, light therapy, and go into the date focused on teasing, playfulness, and just building CONNECTION.
Got some good topics from Andy and Radical and diving very very deep with Pancakemouse and Rags2Bitches.
It's honestly super fun.
Day was like usual:
-Sunrise
-Core work
-Breakfast
-Work
-Instead of Cold Approach today (strategic break), I rested and read Andy's dating guide
-Dinner
-Ice bath (15min)
-Light therapy
.........DATE 23
We text back and fourth in the day, I am trying some new stuff texting wise, she tells me I'm funny. We meet.
She is so tiny. And she didn't know I am so tall. I head over to her. She is a bit taken aback! "You're very tall. I didn't know you were this tall"
I laugh and just proceed.
Bar itself is fucking awesome. Shoreditch, which is a serious vibe. No fees to book. Love it. Music and decor on point. Staff were cool AF.
OK so focus on this date was just teasing, vibing, connecting.
Brought total different energy. Laughed a lot, really let loose. Got her opening up.
Early on in the date she was looking at me is a way girls NEVER used to look at me. She was taking in all the goods, scanning my face, lips, chest, biceps, I caught her looking at it all. When I stood up to go to the bar she again really attentively was looking at everything, legs, butt. Danish Girl actually told me a lot about how women evaluate men and how women actually think on dates. Danish Girl told me when a girl is dating, she is thinking "OK, I like this one - how can I fit him into my life?" She emphasises that girls PLAN a lot more than guys could begin to know. This was very insightful for me and it stuck with me.
Point being: I was obese for 3-4 years, and it was horrible. When a girl looks at me LIKE THIS, I cannot be more grateful I lost the weight. I cannot be.
Date goes on, I am fighting my nice guy tendencies, keep having to stop myself from just agreeing, and saying "that's cool", "that's interesting". I didnt say them, I think I did maybe once and caught myself and thought fuck my game needs major work dude it's going to be brain reconditioning for me.
Overall we vibe and conversation flows easily.
-Talk about work
-Talk about goals & content creation
-Talk about self improvement
-Talk about other places we've lived
-Dating! She just go out of a 2yr relationship, 2 months ago, I am her first date in 2 years hahaha. GOOD. We are having a blast. She doesn't have to see me again but we def. had a good time so I hope she has many experiences of this sort moving forward. I used bits from a video Pancakemouse sent me on talking about dating, bringing sex in, talk about openness and the type of dynamic you'd like - when I told her most of my dating experience in London was casual and they moved on (Danish Girl), she was heavily into that and quite excited. Her eyes def. lit up. This takes me back to the concept of girls planning.....interesting.....
-Talk about nature for a while
-Ask her where she lives, she asks me where I live, and also about my apartment, how many people like here lol.....(just me and Timmy here). She may want the D, possibly
-9pm and I tell her I need to go home
I do 'seed' as countingsheep eluded to. In my case, logistics were poor tonight, as I travelled to see her. I seeded by saying we should go for a hike sometime, or when she mentioned an artist she likes, I said we should listen to them sometime. Me and my friend Matt are working hard on lower body and glutes and we are trying to build serious legs (and booty), and I told her this, and said she can be the judge of our glute contest. Just keeping it light and slightly sexual.
Walk her outside.
She is not in a rush at all, I tower over her, and ask if I can kiss her good bye. She says yeah, sure. It's a quick kiss, like 2 seconds, and she pulls away. I am also only looking for a very quick one. I am unphased and she is very smiley. Wish her a good evening and peel off home.
I was touching her throughout the night, sat RIGHT next to her. Kiss still might be something I drop until I can build better tension and escalate better. Not totally convinced and it does trigger ASD.
Overall, I left feeling HAPPY, and skipped home.
Also, I have been told by Andy and Ed to stop counting dates on the private coaching group. I personally like tracking. But I have to trust these guys.....This will be challenging because I love tracking and this is why I write on the forum so much, so when I have made it, one day I can read it all back.
Good day for me.
MAC
