STATUS UPDATE – CURRENT LANDSCAPE
The Phoenix Project is in Week 18. We’ve been working hard for quite a while!
Month 5 in London, and I am fully applying myself to self improvement.
Dating is the focus. How is it going?
WE ARE MAKING PROGRESS AND THAT IS ALL THAT MATTERS
FUCK the poor results. FUCK them.
My outcomes generally are poor. SO WHAT?
Let this drive you, let it become your fuel, let it become your obsession, let it take you further and further until you have become something else entirely. GOOD outcomes are possible.
I am not absolutely ugly. I am about average in looks. I am not totally clueless socially, I can actually talk to people and am fairly outgoing. I need game, and that can be learned. I can play the numbers game. I can strengthen my profile. I can gain muscle and looksmaxx. That is enough for GOOD outcomes.
What I would define as ‘good’ in this regard would be a girl or two who are interested in me, in some capacity. That is, they are willing to reply to texts, to meet up, to just explore whatever there may be to be explored.
This isn’t as far away as I may think right now.
The chinese/turkish stunner still replies to me! She had eye surgery and is out the game right now, she looks cute in her eye patch the little pirate…..lol…..but I will see her for date #2 and that will be MAJOR
A lot of GREAT progress is being made.
I have been on a lot of dates, and have begun asking them back to mine, getting more physical, and pushing for a makeout or just something or other. Often, they’re not really into it, but I am still taking action and that is progress.
The biggest win so far has been my first ever lay, with Danish Girl, lovely human who was quite nice to me before I saw her for like the 5th time and then interest was legit dead.
SO WHAT IF SHE GHOSTED? I learned.
I fucked her like 4 times, and learned about women. I got experience.
I learned my current level: SCRUB.
She was sitting on a date with me openly smiling as some other dude. I know guys who’re shorter will have some bullshit to deal with around that which I totally empaphise with and it also bothers me, but this chap was tiny, legit tiny, and she was way more into him than she was me a guy whos 6 ft 5 so remember this bros.
The vibe being off and not having game is a serious destroyer of outcomes.
THIS LESSON WAS WORTH IT.
I noticed a lot from her and learned tonnes. She ghosted for 2 weeks after that and then politely told me she wasn’t interested.
My attitude: Thank you for making me a better man! Best wishes and good luck
She met me very early on in my journey. It takes endless experiences of this sort to become a better man, you have to approach thousands, literally, you have to be put through the literal grinder in the dating market, until you begin to embody something else.
It was not date 11 or 12 that I was able to stand up and leave when a chick was being a total vile cunt to me on a date. I didn’t have the guts. It was not even at date 20 I could do that.
Date 25, after being ghosted or rejected 25 times in a row, I grew enough of a spine to say fuck this, stand up 30 minutes into a date, and literally walk off.
PROGRESS
The Not Feeling The cOnNeCtIoN eRa
I get these texts coming in all the time. I got a few this week, including this morning. Either that or they ghost entirely.
Jan – April in The Phoenix Project will be known as the Crisis of Connection Era.
During this time, I was rudely awoken to the weak points of my inner being, and have been advised on actions to take.
I am putting together a serious game plan which will be outline below, and I will furiously attack it like I always do.
There needs to be deep change in my psyche and I need to learn how to emotionally stimulate a woman. If I do this, I will get past my current sticking point.
My sticking point has driven me a little crazy and I have been way way more stressed than usual the past few weeks, because I was (A) beating my AA, which took fucking intense effort, and (B) processing my absolute shitty dating abilities.
This sticking point DROVE ME FUCKING CRAAZZZZZZZY
Let it be known. I hate that I sucked as bad at this as I do. But geuss what?
I hated that I couldn’t cold approach. It drove me NUTS.
I grit my teeth, turned the lock of the door, and ran out to approach 7 days a week, 3 hrs a day, often not approaching a single chick.
I went back again, and went back again, and again and again. FOR WEEKS.
Until my brain said:
“OK, this fucking psycho IS NOT GOING TO STOP. This cunt is willing to kill us with stress hormones before he stops. We are not going to be able to stop him. OK, fine. We will switch off the stress response and let him do what he is trying to do”
It took off the brakes, and I started building up the volume.
And will continue to build the volume, with intent, until I get this shit down.
I am willing to grind for years if needs be. So be it.
The current landscape is as follows:
WINS
-GOT A LAY (1 OF 10 FOR THE YEAR)
-GOT DATES
-LEARNED A SERIOUS AREA FOR DEVELOPMENT (THE DATE ITSELF)
-BROKE INTO APPROACHING AFTER AA FOR MANY MANY WEEKS
AREAS FOR DEVELOPMENT
-VIBE & INTENT
-OVERALL GAME
-CALIBRATION
-EMOTIONAL CONTROL AND STOICISM
-LEARNING OPTIMISM AND NOT GIVING INTO PESSIMISM
General Thoughts
Overall, while my outcomes are not good, I am making progress.
I am open minded to the possibility that I can achieve my goals this year, but it will take some fucking going let me tell ya!
9 more lays somehow – haven’t had a date go anywhere at all since Jan.
BUT I AM MAKING SMALL PROGRESS AND AM WILLING TO GO TO EXTREME LEVELS TO ACHIEVE MY GOALS
So what if girls don’t like me?
So what if they don’t want to spend time with me or be near me?
So what if they don’t text?
I am willing to approach 10 thousand more, I won’t even stop, until I get one who will give me the light of day.
And right now, I am able to get texts back from a stunning woman. That, I am told, may be a sign of things to come.
If I just keep working….and make the correct adjustments.
Pain of Failure Vs Pain of Regret
It is better to take action and have it not work out, than to not even be stepping up to the plate. Better that I am out here trying and learning, because with enough practice and work, I will improve.
HARD WORK, CONSISTENCY AND PATIENCE: Is My Situation Hopeless?
No, it is not.
Do I have what it takes to succeed with women? Do I have what it takes to be attractive?
Honest answer: No.
You might find that unpleasant to read.
But the thing about it is that this is my CURRENT FORM
My current form will be surpassed in 6 months by something else. And that guy will be better than this current one.
Just because I am not there NOW, does not mean I can’t ever be.
TURNING THE TABLES: TAKING BACK POWER FROM WOMEN
What I am trying to do here is pretty audacious shit.
I am taking a dude who society and nature does not want in the next generation, and fucking FORCING MY WAY into the genetic lineage. LMAO.
I am saying to women: no, FUCK YOU CUNTS, you will not limit me and the possibilities of my life – I will MAKE YOU acknowledge me as a person, and I will succeed in my goals and rejoice at the winners table while the rest of you demons get old and rot.
The feeling will be fucking ecstasy itself.
Somehow, some way, I WILL SUCCEED.
Getting It Easy VS EXTREME WORK
Some get it easy, some have to bleed.
I am obviously in the latter camp.
But what does that mean?
If I some how break through, will there ever be a bigger victory in my life?
Who the fuck, after 30 years of this bullshit, could break through all that bullshit and become successful, with nothing other that the fire inside to not be broken by circumstance. That I know will be some legendary shit that will be a transcendental feeling for me.
I could live in that moment for the rest of my life.
I could sit on the beach and reminisce on that for many lifetimes.
“You’re finished, the best thing you can do is get your parents involved and get an arranged marriage”
-Quote from a guy I used to go out with, year 3 of pick up
Hahah he was savage man. Guy did not give a fuck and killed it with women. Naturally good looking and confident, he cleaned up.
How many times did people tell me this in my life?
My best friend from school, pulled me aside last year, sat me down with a glass of whiskey and took a big gulp and nervously said “I am so sorry nothing ever happened for you, I am so sorry dating apps have ruined our society”
We never talked about dating. We’ve been friends for 20 years. I was the best man at his wedding. We never discussed women.
Without any of us saying anything, sat in his stunning property in the countryside, the sun glimmering down, his wife upstairs asleep, his overall demeanour said it all: you poor bastard, you missed out. Sorry, but you’re done.
Do you guys remember when I went to a Person Centred Therapist? She was a nice woman, but after a few months of sessions, want to know her conclusion?
“Well, not everyone is meant to find someone, and that’s OK”
If most people were to read this log, they would think I am literally insane, mentally disturbed or something, and just a stuborn prick who refuses to take the hint that he is not good enough and that he should fuck off and stop bothering women.
And maybe that is true.
But the thing about it is, I am willing to literally sacrifice it all, put it all on myself, gamble the whole house on myself, just for the fucking feeling of:
“I did it. I actually….fucking…..did it. I won.”
In life: NO ONE IS ALLOWED TO LIMIT YOU – NO ONE.
Women can have the rug pulled on them and the tables turned on them.
I am sure they are enjoying how easy they can toss guys like me aside right now, but these idiots do not know that for many dudes like that, there is one psycho out there like me who is willing to grind for literally years to stop them being able to force dudes into limitation and loneliness.
My day will come and I will fucking make hay while the sun shines trust me on that one LOL.
That is the feeling I want, and I want it BAD. The feeling of outworking God’s plan, and going from nothing to something.
For that feeling, even if it lasts just one second, everything will have been worth it.
Everything.
That I didn’t let life make me quit.
That I didn’t allow women to force me into a lifetime of loneliness.
That despite every fucking obstacle that came before me, despite the fact that I sucked fucking shit and had no aptitude or no innate ability, had no idea how to do this, and had to put all my faith, all my trust, literally the very hope I have for a better life on those around me guiding me the right way as I do not fucking know what to do…...if I pull this off, and there is a chance I could, this will be a truly epic victory.
This ship went off course a long, long time ago.
Turning it back round to calmer waters was never going to be easy.
I expected chaos, and there is much more to come.
Shaking up the very foundations of your brain is not for a weak hearted man.
“When you’re playing with the big boys, you’re gonna get brusied”
-The Bastard
This game claims souls.
I have some fucking LEGENDS around me. There is no better group of people on planet earth I could have assembled to help me do this.
I have Andy and Radical and a whole group of private coaching members pushing me.
I have the secret group backing me 100% and we are grinding like hell.
I am in London with Timmy, I have some solid ass dudes around me in London town.
Somehow, I will make it.
I can’t tell you when, or how, and I am willing to tell you the truth in admitting I know how unlikely me pulling this off is. It should be damn near impossible at this stage.
But I will find a way to do it.
And from that moment on, I will be able to walk into any room, anywhere, and know deep inside the work that it took to build this fucking guy: MAC. We will have built this guy together, a guy who did not exist, and that will be a story for next generation of self improvement let me tell ya.
There will be other motherfuckers like me, rats from the sewer who had nothing but a dream of escaping the dungeon and finding just a slither of light.
Before my time is up, I am going to feel that light on my skin. It will feel good. More than you could ever begin to know.
ACTION PLAN: MOVING FORWARD
CA Skills: developing. I can approach in the day. This is a major win and I can begin to get the volume up.
CA Next Steps: Remain consistent and focus simply on bringing INTENT. 6 days a week cold approach. Sunday off.
Night time pickup: Non existence. Need to start.
Nightgame Next Steps: (1) Begin getting a night out in once a week, and go from there. (2) Focus on INTENT and HAVING A FUN NIGHT.
OLD: Improving ability to get dates, often of questionable quality women who seem to consistent be a poor fit.
OLD Next Steps: (1) Plan next shoot, create overview document and have this reviewed by coaching group and secret group, (2) Overall text template, experiment with Alex from PwF’s approach following reccomendation from @countingsheep
The Date: MY CURRENT STICKING POINT. This, for me, sucks. You know what I am going to say – all my dates so far have either ghosted or sent me the not feeling the connection next. A lot of bullshit. This needs major work, and I will take it one step at a time.
The Date Next Steps: Keep focusing on INTENT, PUSH/PULL, and BUILDING TENSION. Lower expectations BIG TIME here, and just practice this over and over and over and over.
STUDY
Time to actually dive into the theory and brainwash myself. Time to drive endless data through my brain and reknit this thing.
-Spend time watching game related content: start with PwF & reccomendations Pancakenmouse has made
-Spend time reading game related content: study the manual Pancakemouse sent, study the series he sent from GirlsChase. The Pillars of Attraction by Pat Stedman as per Crisis_Overcomer's reccomendation.
-Notes / Audios / Flashcards
You will now really need to learn, study, and fucking obsess over this shit.
Gut up and get it done.
Your life depends on it.
There is A LOT of work to do. No one can do it for you. The help is there, the community is there, the mentors and examples are there. Everything is there.
You just have to shut up and grind for another 6 months and change your brain. Keep hammering in the gym. Make a tonne of content and get to 100 subs ASAP and then work towards 1k.
The drive is there, the drive is actually a raging infero there is no one who can stop this at this stage.
The only one able to turn this person around IS ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ON TO VICTORY & SUCCESS
…..AND REMEMBER
KEEP HAMMERING,
-MAC