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Brandon’s 365 Days of Masculine, Self-affirming Action: Days 278-283
- Thread starter Bman
- Start date
- Joined
- May 21, 2022
- Goal
- Serve
- Age
- 30
Day 68
Actions taken:
It's been a long week with the situation with my mom. But for the last 3 days, including today, I've felt an overwhelming sense of peace, equanimity, and gratitude.
I just felt this sense of everything is ok. And even if it wasn't, I have every skill I need to make it so.
I thought about and contemplated death of myself, of my mother, of others. I just felt at ease if any of those happened. Not that I want them to, but if they did, everything was going to be ok. The world still goes on.
I also thought about some of my biggest insecurities.
One being, "Am I good enough?" Well, good enough for whom? Because if I place any other person as the answer to that question, they have a whole checklist of things that I may or may not measure up to. But that's their story. Because I feel confident I can take care of myself in order to meet my basic needs, secure resources, stay healthy, and most recently feeling confident in relationships for either cooperation or romance. I feel good enough to me. This has only really become an epiphany recently.
The second being "Do I matter?" Again, matter to whom. This 365 has helped show me I matter to me. I also get little signs all the time I matter to others. But really, one day I'm going to die and I won't matter. Even if I do something extraordinary in this world, eventually I'll be forgotten. Even the greatest people to ever live will eventually be forgotten because one day the world ends and we all die. I felt pretty ok with that too.
I just felt pretty grateful for exactly where I am right now. For who I have become.
As an update, sounds like my mom might being going into involuntary impatient depending on what the behavioral specialists decide. If not, the landlord lady is giving her 30 days notice. Then one of the scenarios I mentioned before will most likely happen. Either way, she'll be ok. When she finally gets rational again, then maybe she'll be open to working on healing.
Actions taken:
- Affirmations
- 2nd meditation in the afternoon
- Inner work
It's been a long week with the situation with my mom. But for the last 3 days, including today, I've felt an overwhelming sense of peace, equanimity, and gratitude.
I just felt this sense of everything is ok. And even if it wasn't, I have every skill I need to make it so.
I thought about and contemplated death of myself, of my mother, of others. I just felt at ease if any of those happened. Not that I want them to, but if they did, everything was going to be ok. The world still goes on.
I also thought about some of my biggest insecurities.
One being, "Am I good enough?" Well, good enough for whom? Because if I place any other person as the answer to that question, they have a whole checklist of things that I may or may not measure up to. But that's their story. Because I feel confident I can take care of myself in order to meet my basic needs, secure resources, stay healthy, and most recently feeling confident in relationships for either cooperation or romance. I feel good enough to me. This has only really become an epiphany recently.
The second being "Do I matter?" Again, matter to whom. This 365 has helped show me I matter to me. I also get little signs all the time I matter to others. But really, one day I'm going to die and I won't matter. Even if I do something extraordinary in this world, eventually I'll be forgotten. Even the greatest people to ever live will eventually be forgotten because one day the world ends and we all die. I felt pretty ok with that too.
I just felt pretty grateful for exactly where I am right now. For who I have become.
As an update, sounds like my mom might being going into involuntary impatient depending on what the behavioral specialists decide. If not, the landlord lady is giving her 30 days notice. Then one of the scenarios I mentioned before will most likely happen. Either way, she'll be ok. When she finally gets rational again, then maybe she'll be open to working on healing.
- Joined
- May 21, 2022
- Goal
- Serve
- Age
- 30
Day 70
Actions taken:
So had Psychedelic Girl come over before the munch. She has a hard time orgasming and is a bit quiet in bed. So I had her mastrubate in front of the mirror for me and made her tell me how she felt the whole time, getting her to focus on the sensations. I was getting her used to my voice and commands and tying that with pleasure. Then I took over and helped her orgasm before we left for the munch,
The munch was great. Some people returning from last time, some new people. There were a few socially anxious people there this time, but I felt we did good bringing them into the convo. Because I was doing the host thing of meeting everyone and connecting the group, Psychedelic Girl kept running to get me water which was so sweet. It was small, but it was really nice. I moved the group over to the round table and we had fun discussions about funny sex stories, fantasies, ect. Psychedelic Girl and I touched and played with each other under the table. One question that went around the table was what are you the best at in sex. She said she gives really good head. As far as other girls, one brought me a yak which is now our mascot for the munch (because its called YAK- Young and Kinky). Another dom brought a couple attractive subs towards the end, but I didn't get to interact with them much. And a very loud, very technical, socially uncalibrated, woman asked to the whole table if Psychedelic Girl and I were a thing. Said we are just casual play partners. Shortly after which Psychedelic Girl stood behind me and rubbed my back/shoulders as I was wrapping up convos with others before leaving.
On the way back home Psychedelic Girl she was really glad she came and I did a great job with leading the group.
We got back to my place and I told her to show me those great head skills. She was very enthusiastic, moaning while doing so. Fucked her rough from behind and she had her being much more vocal about her pleasure which is always a turn on for me. She is bratty, laughs, and talks back when she's nervous, but she also listens to exactly what I tell her to do. She told me about her exes and how she could not respect or trust them. She thanked me for taking the lead, but being very patient with her.
Was a fun night. Absolutely want to take my girls out like that more.
Actions taken:
- Affirmations
- 2nd meditation in the afternoon
- Ran my second munch
- Played with Psychedelic girl, before, during, and after munch
So had Psychedelic Girl come over before the munch. She has a hard time orgasming and is a bit quiet in bed. So I had her mastrubate in front of the mirror for me and made her tell me how she felt the whole time, getting her to focus on the sensations. I was getting her used to my voice and commands and tying that with pleasure. Then I took over and helped her orgasm before we left for the munch,
The munch was great. Some people returning from last time, some new people. There were a few socially anxious people there this time, but I felt we did good bringing them into the convo. Because I was doing the host thing of meeting everyone and connecting the group, Psychedelic Girl kept running to get me water which was so sweet. It was small, but it was really nice. I moved the group over to the round table and we had fun discussions about funny sex stories, fantasies, ect. Psychedelic Girl and I touched and played with each other under the table. One question that went around the table was what are you the best at in sex. She said she gives really good head. As far as other girls, one brought me a yak which is now our mascot for the munch (because its called YAK- Young and Kinky). Another dom brought a couple attractive subs towards the end, but I didn't get to interact with them much. And a very loud, very technical, socially uncalibrated, woman asked to the whole table if Psychedelic Girl and I were a thing. Said we are just casual play partners. Shortly after which Psychedelic Girl stood behind me and rubbed my back/shoulders as I was wrapping up convos with others before leaving.
On the way back home Psychedelic Girl she was really glad she came and I did a great job with leading the group.
We got back to my place and I told her to show me those great head skills. She was very enthusiastic, moaning while doing so. Fucked her rough from behind and she had her being much more vocal about her pleasure which is always a turn on for me. She is bratty, laughs, and talks back when she's nervous, but she also listens to exactly what I tell her to do. She told me about her exes and how she could not respect or trust them. She thanked me for taking the lead, but being very patient with her.
Was a fun night. Absolutely want to take my girls out like that more.
- Joined
- May 21, 2022
- Goal
- Serve
- Age
- 30
Day 71
Actions taken:
Capacity building 1: So I've mentioned before that I have been leading a men's group for 3-4 years now. Well one of my men had mentioned the group to a few of the girls he sleeps with and they got really excited to want have something like that in their lives. So he asked if I would be up for helping them setup a women's group. Today I had a call with the woman who will be the groups leader and mentored her on how to be one. I'm also going to run the first two meetings with them so she is comfortable on her own afterwards.
Capacity building 2: Got another call from my mother's landlord today. The situation is resolved. She's not kicking out my mom and we are going to work together for helping my mom to stay mentally stable. I'm both shocked and proud of how this situation has turned out. I put my needs first, THEN did everything in my capacity to amend the situation. I did not take on anyone else's problems. I coached the landlord to deal with her own problems and not let her guilt trip me into doing it for her. And I came to peace with the worst possible scenarios if did end up happening. Instead everyone did what was needed, they faced their own portion of the situation, and now we are all working together. A leader does not do everything for everyone else. They help build up those people so they can do it for themselves.
Actions taken:
- Affirmations
- 2nd meditation in the afternoon
- Developing capacity as a leader
Capacity building 1: So I've mentioned before that I have been leading a men's group for 3-4 years now. Well one of my men had mentioned the group to a few of the girls he sleeps with and they got really excited to want have something like that in their lives. So he asked if I would be up for helping them setup a women's group. Today I had a call with the woman who will be the groups leader and mentored her on how to be one. I'm also going to run the first two meetings with them so she is comfortable on her own afterwards.
Capacity building 2: Got another call from my mother's landlord today. The situation is resolved. She's not kicking out my mom and we are going to work together for helping my mom to stay mentally stable. I'm both shocked and proud of how this situation has turned out. I put my needs first, THEN did everything in my capacity to amend the situation. I did not take on anyone else's problems. I coached the landlord to deal with her own problems and not let her guilt trip me into doing it for her. And I came to peace with the worst possible scenarios if did end up happening. Instead everyone did what was needed, they faced their own portion of the situation, and now we are all working together. A leader does not do everything for everyone else. They help build up those people so they can do it for themselves.
- Joined
- May 21, 2022
- Goal
- Serve
- Age
- 30
Day 72
Actions taken:
-----------
So a shortcoming yesterday. I went up north to the pre-event munch that happens before the BDSM club party on Sunday. When I got there OF Girl was already there, so I hugged her and led her over to a table. We chatted for a bit before the rest of the friend group showed up. I was telling them about the munches I have been running and we would periodically have someone from my munch come up to the group to say hi to me, including one of the attractive subs from this Monday who was giving me something I accidently left. The event organizers also came to chat with me asking how my munch was going.
OF Girl's friend: "Wow, you're like one of the big guys now."
Me: "Of course"
Friend from my munch: "Oh yeah, Brandon's great!"
I'd chat with the group and occasionally focus my attention solely on OF Girl. Eventually I asked her if her partner, the guy who was also there and helps run the event, and her were monogamous. She said no. Later on her friend and her were telling a story about the time they kissed and how they could never do it again because her friend crashed and totaled her car afterwards.
OF Girl's friend: "So be careful if you kiss OF Girl, you might die."
OF Girl: "Oh my gawd! Bitch, don't tell him that!"
Eventually the friends left to go to another bar, leaving OF Girl and I alone. Perfect chance to escalate things, but this is where I had my shortcomings. After they left, we got closer. The conversation was platonic sometimes, more sexual others. People would come interject our convo and we make little secret jokes together. But I bitched out and did not make it explicitly known I was into her. I was not going to try to kiss her with her other partner there at the event, but I wanted to and would have liked to make it known. I know this is not a big deal, as obviously the sexual undertone was still set, but I'm flagging it because I was still nervous/ unconfident in the moment about expressing my interest when I had no reason to be. With it being a social circle lead, I just had a bit of anxiety about "messing up the friendships". Baloney. That's old nice guy behavior.
At the end of the night I was catching a Lyft home. She jokingly told me not to get murdered by the driver. Woke up this morning from a message from her.
Anyways, going to grab her number and move this shit forward properly.
Actions taken:
- Affirmations
- 2nd meditation in the afternoon
-----------
So a shortcoming yesterday. I went up north to the pre-event munch that happens before the BDSM club party on Sunday. When I got there OF Girl was already there, so I hugged her and led her over to a table. We chatted for a bit before the rest of the friend group showed up. I was telling them about the munches I have been running and we would periodically have someone from my munch come up to the group to say hi to me, including one of the attractive subs from this Monday who was giving me something I accidently left. The event organizers also came to chat with me asking how my munch was going.
OF Girl's friend: "Wow, you're like one of the big guys now."
Me: "Of course"
Friend from my munch: "Oh yeah, Brandon's great!"
I'd chat with the group and occasionally focus my attention solely on OF Girl. Eventually I asked her if her partner, the guy who was also there and helps run the event, and her were monogamous. She said no. Later on her friend and her were telling a story about the time they kissed and how they could never do it again because her friend crashed and totaled her car afterwards.
OF Girl's friend: "So be careful if you kiss OF Girl, you might die."
OF Girl: "Oh my gawd! Bitch, don't tell him that!"
Eventually the friends left to go to another bar, leaving OF Girl and I alone. Perfect chance to escalate things, but this is where I had my shortcomings. After they left, we got closer. The conversation was platonic sometimes, more sexual others. People would come interject our convo and we make little secret jokes together. But I bitched out and did not make it explicitly known I was into her. I was not going to try to kiss her with her other partner there at the event, but I wanted to and would have liked to make it known. I know this is not a big deal, as obviously the sexual undertone was still set, but I'm flagging it because I was still nervous/ unconfident in the moment about expressing my interest when I had no reason to be. With it being a social circle lead, I just had a bit of anxiety about "messing up the friendships". Baloney. That's old nice guy behavior.
At the end of the night I was catching a Lyft home. She jokingly told me not to get murdered by the driver. Woke up this morning from a message from her.
Anyways, going to grab her number and move this shit forward properly.
Manly Cockfellow
Member
- Joined
- Jan 9, 2022
- Goal
- Start a Family
- Age
- 39
- Motto
- Own Your Insecurities
Bman said:
We really need a GIF of Rollo Tomassi screaming "hypergamy" for moments like this
And great work lately Bman
Feels like you're really pushing yourself and going places
- Joined
- May 21, 2022
- Goal
- Serve
- Age
- 30
Day 73
Actions taken:
Got OF Girl's number this morning, then texted her after work. This is the middle of our convo after mentioning she was headed out on a roadtrip for couple days to get some zen. She's also a very anxious person.
No biggie. I did catch her at a semi inconvenient time because she's on that trip with her boyfriend and probably sitting right next to him. It was funny because I was in the middle of texting to setup dates with my other girls at the same time, including possibly a new one I just matched with today.
Also, the BDSM event is this weekend and she'll be there. I'm supposed to be taking Spiritual Girl with me, so she'll see me with another girl. Then OF Girl's friends want to come down to my munch, which Ad Girl will be joining me at the next one. So OF Girl might see me with another girl. And I'm betting that Psychedelic girl will want to go to the event in March. So good chance she'll see me with yet another girl.
I'll invite her out in the next couple weeks for us to spend some time together just us two, continue to escalate, and make sure to keep it clear I don't want to be just friends.
--------
Thanks, brother. I'm sure the hell trying.
Actions taken:
- Affirmations
- 2nd meditation in the afternoon
- Took a swing, missed, not phased by it
Got OF Girl's number this morning, then texted her after work. This is the middle of our convo after mentioning she was headed out on a roadtrip for couple days to get some zen. She's also a very anxious person.
No biggie. I did catch her at a semi inconvenient time because she's on that trip with her boyfriend and probably sitting right next to him. It was funny because I was in the middle of texting to setup dates with my other girls at the same time, including possibly a new one I just matched with today.
Also, the BDSM event is this weekend and she'll be there. I'm supposed to be taking Spiritual Girl with me, so she'll see me with another girl. Then OF Girl's friends want to come down to my munch, which Ad Girl will be joining me at the next one. So OF Girl might see me with another girl. And I'm betting that Psychedelic girl will want to go to the event in March. So good chance she'll see me with yet another girl.
I'll invite her out in the next couple weeks for us to spend some time together just us two, continue to escalate, and make sure to keep it clear I don't want to be just friends.
--------
Manly Cockfellow said:
Thanks, brother. I'm sure the hell trying.
- Joined
- May 21, 2022
- Goal
- Serve
- Age
- 30
Day 74
Actions taken:
So earlier this week I messaged a couple venues here in ATX basically explaining I want to do an event there where people will be naked, engaging in sex or kink scenes, and playing loud music. One got back to me and I went and checked out the space which is like a mix of a nightclub and yoga studio put together. Owner was super cool and in the kink, tantra, and conscious collective communities here. Pretty much gave me the ok to do whatever. It is a little smaller than I'd like and does not have a stage. So it's a maybe, but I want to keep looking.
We also talked rates. Now I'm typically someone who wants to have an understanding of all the factors, devise a plan, and then talk shop. This is also the first time I have ever started organizing an event this big. So I wanted to know rates so I could figure out how many hours we could rent for and what ticket price I'd need to charge to cover the rental. This guy was trying to pull all that out of me before giving me a number. Eventually he spit out a number and I was like "ok that's fine", because now I can at least work backwards and figure out the rest. I didn't think about it till I left and was running numbers that I could have negotiated the price. But I told him I was just scouting right now and not agreeing to anything yet.
He did tell me about another private owner who renovated a space into a nightclub type space with a stage and upstairs lounge. Said they've had strippers there, so it would probably work too. So went home and messaged them as well. This place seems better. And this time I'll be ready to negotiate.
I'm thinking the event will be similar to a fetish night at nightclubs with dance, an area for sex, and demo performances, rather than a full on play party. Reason being is that the other big event here does the dungeon part well and I don't want to deal with all the kink furniture. But I'll see what my community wants.
This time last year I was discussing divorce with my ex wife. Today I'm scouting venues and nightclubs to throw big sex parties. Life is fucking wild.
Actions taken:
- Affirmations
- 2nd meditation in the afternoon
- Scouted venue for sex party
So earlier this week I messaged a couple venues here in ATX basically explaining I want to do an event there where people will be naked, engaging in sex or kink scenes, and playing loud music. One got back to me and I went and checked out the space which is like a mix of a nightclub and yoga studio put together. Owner was super cool and in the kink, tantra, and conscious collective communities here. Pretty much gave me the ok to do whatever. It is a little smaller than I'd like and does not have a stage. So it's a maybe, but I want to keep looking.
We also talked rates. Now I'm typically someone who wants to have an understanding of all the factors, devise a plan, and then talk shop. This is also the first time I have ever started organizing an event this big. So I wanted to know rates so I could figure out how many hours we could rent for and what ticket price I'd need to charge to cover the rental. This guy was trying to pull all that out of me before giving me a number. Eventually he spit out a number and I was like "ok that's fine", because now I can at least work backwards and figure out the rest. I didn't think about it till I left and was running numbers that I could have negotiated the price. But I told him I was just scouting right now and not agreeing to anything yet.
He did tell me about another private owner who renovated a space into a nightclub type space with a stage and upstairs lounge. Said they've had strippers there, so it would probably work too. So went home and messaged them as well. This place seems better. And this time I'll be ready to negotiate.
I'm thinking the event will be similar to a fetish night at nightclubs with dance, an area for sex, and demo performances, rather than a full on play party. Reason being is that the other big event here does the dungeon part well and I don't want to deal with all the kink furniture. But I'll see what my community wants.
This time last year I was discussing divorce with my ex wife. Today I'm scouting venues and nightclubs to throw big sex parties. Life is fucking wild.
- Joined
- May 21, 2022
- Goal
- Serve
- Age
- 30
Day 75
Actions taken:
Very tight, fake titted, pole dancing, psychologist. Was a beautiful sight. Lay report.
Actions taken:
- Affirmations
- 2nd meditation in the afternoon
- New Lay
Very tight, fake titted, pole dancing, psychologist. Was a beautiful sight. Lay report.
- Joined
- May 21, 2022
- Goal
- Serve
- Age
- 30
Day 76
Actions taken:
Yesterday evening was Shrine, the monthly BDSM event at the nightclub here in ATX. Went dressed in red pants with red suspenders, black shirt, and black wide brim fedora. Got there for my setup shift and the other volunteer girls were commenting on how good I looked. No doubt I was also walking around with a smile on my face and big dick energy. After setup I worked the front door for the first hour which was a blast because there were five scantily clad women working it with me and I was the only guy for that shift. We were also changing procedures from normal and the organizers were a little worried about people being annoyed/aggressive about it, so I was essentially the loud voice and muscle to control the line. Didn't have to be because I was friendly, greeted everyone, and got them taken care of.
Now the girl tornado begins. OF Girl shows up to work the door after me (damn volunteer coordinator didn't put us on the same shift). We chat in between me working the line but don't get to interact much. My shift is coming to an end and Spiritual Girl meets me at the door dressed in a short, tight leather dress and red lingerie underneath. She has not seen me in a couple weeks because she's been in Puerto Rico so she is dying to kiss me and telling me how she's been daydreaming of my cock. I get her moved to the front of the line for checkin. One of the girl's that I work the door with, let's call her Door Girl, asked if my shift was over and if I was playing tonight. I pointed to Spiritual Girl and Door Girl's eyes light up, "Oooh, I'm so excited for you!" They do the female pleasantries of "I like your dress." "I like your outfit." Spiritual Girl and I chat inside while waiting to get her ticket about my munch and letting her know whats inside the club.
We get inside, I show her around, and head over to my bag to take my shirt off so I just have the suspenders on top. She's like a little kid in a candy shop and putty in my hands. As we move around she can't help but make out with me, moaning, and grinding into me. We run into a few friends here and there that I chat with. Took her upstairs to one of the spanking benches, hiked up her dress, and gave a few good wails before we attracted too large of a crowd for her comfort. So we head down to mingle so more. By this point, we are moving around, making out, and I'm sliding my hand under her dress to rub her pussy almost constantly.
After an hour or so we move to the upper stage in the front of the club where there are couches along the wall to watch the scenes and the crowd of 150-200 people at this point. I continue to let me hand peruse. She is ravenous now and starts rubbing my cock through my pants. She tells me how hot it would be if the whole place was filled with just other women and I was the only guy there. I have her climb on my lap, hike her dress up, and let he give me a lap dance and dry hump in front of the dozen other people on the couch, the people on stage, and anyone else in the crowd on the main floor who cared to look up. She was not quite ready to have sex there at the club, so she's begging me to go back to my place. It's getting late and I'm horny as a mother fucker after her perfromance on my lap, so I'm ready to roll too. I adjust the hardon in my pants and start to head for the exit.
On the way out I see OF Girl from behind with the rest of our normal friend group, including a few that I've brought into it. I walk over, tap her on the shoulder, and she turns around to give me a big hug. Now I'd been hugging and kissing on Spiritual Girl all night and I was high on sexual energy from the lap dance I just received, so I forgot for a moment who I was now hugging. As a result I gave OF Girl a very sensual hug and had to stop myself short of kissing on her shoulder. Introduced her to Spiritual Girl and again the did the female pleasantries. Told her we were heading out and went for the first exit door.
Make through exit door one, through main lobby, headed for exit door two, and I see November Girl (girl I mentioned in my lay report yesterday that texted earlier that morning). Have not seen her since our four hour date in November that had great sexual chemistry but her life was too chaotic at the time to take things forward. She's another hot professional, classy in the streets type, so she's dressed in fun, flowy sun dress. Little thicker, but beautiful face. She used to do a lot of Broadway theater performances. Anyways, I stop in the door, we immediately give each other a big hug. I'm still shirtless, so she gives me some sultry eyes. I meet the Dom she came with and then chat with her a bit. She was sad I was on my way out. Told her we had our scenes and now it was time to take it back to mine for the after party. She gave me the coy head tuck and Marilyn Monroe eyes telling me she hopes it's an amazing night.
Catch up outside with Spiritual Girl and she keeps lamenting about how amazing it is I know so many people and for showing her such a great time. We jump in her car and head back to my place. When we get back to mine our first round was passionate and rough. We cuddle for a bit, wore out and tired. Then we have very emotional, cuddly sex that turned aggressive with her 100% surrendering and squirting everywhere. I get her into her comfy clothes to drive home and send her on her way.
Check my phone to put it on the charger. Lo and behold, text from OF Girl asking where my munch is held at and asking how my night went.
Fuck, I got keep engineering situations like this. Such a rush.
Actions taken:
- Affirmations
- 2nd meditation in the afternoon
- Top guy behavior
Yesterday evening was Shrine, the monthly BDSM event at the nightclub here in ATX. Went dressed in red pants with red suspenders, black shirt, and black wide brim fedora. Got there for my setup shift and the other volunteer girls were commenting on how good I looked. No doubt I was also walking around with a smile on my face and big dick energy. After setup I worked the front door for the first hour which was a blast because there were five scantily clad women working it with me and I was the only guy for that shift. We were also changing procedures from normal and the organizers were a little worried about people being annoyed/aggressive about it, so I was essentially the loud voice and muscle to control the line. Didn't have to be because I was friendly, greeted everyone, and got them taken care of.
Now the girl tornado begins. OF Girl shows up to work the door after me (damn volunteer coordinator didn't put us on the same shift). We chat in between me working the line but don't get to interact much. My shift is coming to an end and Spiritual Girl meets me at the door dressed in a short, tight leather dress and red lingerie underneath. She has not seen me in a couple weeks because she's been in Puerto Rico so she is dying to kiss me and telling me how she's been daydreaming of my cock. I get her moved to the front of the line for checkin. One of the girl's that I work the door with, let's call her Door Girl, asked if my shift was over and if I was playing tonight. I pointed to Spiritual Girl and Door Girl's eyes light up, "Oooh, I'm so excited for you!" They do the female pleasantries of "I like your dress." "I like your outfit." Spiritual Girl and I chat inside while waiting to get her ticket about my munch and letting her know whats inside the club.
We get inside, I show her around, and head over to my bag to take my shirt off so I just have the suspenders on top. She's like a little kid in a candy shop and putty in my hands. As we move around she can't help but make out with me, moaning, and grinding into me. We run into a few friends here and there that I chat with. Took her upstairs to one of the spanking benches, hiked up her dress, and gave a few good wails before we attracted too large of a crowd for her comfort. So we head down to mingle so more. By this point, we are moving around, making out, and I'm sliding my hand under her dress to rub her pussy almost constantly.
After an hour or so we move to the upper stage in the front of the club where there are couches along the wall to watch the scenes and the crowd of 150-200 people at this point. I continue to let me hand peruse. She is ravenous now and starts rubbing my cock through my pants. She tells me how hot it would be if the whole place was filled with just other women and I was the only guy there. I have her climb on my lap, hike her dress up, and let he give me a lap dance and dry hump in front of the dozen other people on the couch, the people on stage, and anyone else in the crowd on the main floor who cared to look up. She was not quite ready to have sex there at the club, so she's begging me to go back to my place. It's getting late and I'm horny as a mother fucker after her perfromance on my lap, so I'm ready to roll too. I adjust the hardon in my pants and start to head for the exit.
On the way out I see OF Girl from behind with the rest of our normal friend group, including a few that I've brought into it. I walk over, tap her on the shoulder, and she turns around to give me a big hug. Now I'd been hugging and kissing on Spiritual Girl all night and I was high on sexual energy from the lap dance I just received, so I forgot for a moment who I was now hugging. As a result I gave OF Girl a very sensual hug and had to stop myself short of kissing on her shoulder. Introduced her to Spiritual Girl and again the did the female pleasantries. Told her we were heading out and went for the first exit door.
Make through exit door one, through main lobby, headed for exit door two, and I see November Girl (girl I mentioned in my lay report yesterday that texted earlier that morning). Have not seen her since our four hour date in November that had great sexual chemistry but her life was too chaotic at the time to take things forward. She's another hot professional, classy in the streets type, so she's dressed in fun, flowy sun dress. Little thicker, but beautiful face. She used to do a lot of Broadway theater performances. Anyways, I stop in the door, we immediately give each other a big hug. I'm still shirtless, so she gives me some sultry eyes. I meet the Dom she came with and then chat with her a bit. She was sad I was on my way out. Told her we had our scenes and now it was time to take it back to mine for the after party. She gave me the coy head tuck and Marilyn Monroe eyes telling me she hopes it's an amazing night.
Catch up outside with Spiritual Girl and she keeps lamenting about how amazing it is I know so many people and for showing her such a great time. We jump in her car and head back to my place. When we get back to mine our first round was passionate and rough. We cuddle for a bit, wore out and tired. Then we have very emotional, cuddly sex that turned aggressive with her 100% surrendering and squirting everywhere. I get her into her comfy clothes to drive home and send her on her way.
Check my phone to put it on the charger. Lo and behold, text from OF Girl asking where my munch is held at and asking how my night went.
Fuck, I got keep engineering situations like this. Such a rush.
jmand
Member
- Joined
- Nov 23, 2022
- Name
- Jesse
- Goal
- Feel fulfilled
- Age
- 30
Fuck. YES.
What really sticks out to me here the most is your total enthusiasm and positivity with all of this. Your frame is solid.
After closing a couple clients this week, I feel stoked, but also have lots of inner critique sneaking in.
Really look up to your mindset and this is a great example it.
What really sticks out to me here the most is your total enthusiasm and positivity with all of this. Your frame is solid.
After closing a couple clients this week, I feel stoked, but also have lots of inner critique sneaking in.
Really look up to your mindset and this is a great example it.
- Joined
- May 21, 2022
- Goal
- Serve
- Age
- 30
Day 77
Actions taken:
I rarely, if ever, take naps. But I was pretty tired from the night before. So I finished up 90% of my work and gave myself the leeway to take 20 minute cat nap in the afternoon.
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Life is too damn short not to be. Lamenting on the suffering only perpetuates and amplifies the suffering. If you learn to preform mental Jiu Jitsu, the challenges become fun, or at the very least more neutral allowing you to accept the reality of the situation.
As I always say, hold two opposing views in your head. Head and acknowledge the words of the inner critique, as it usually holds some ounce of truth, then continue to plow forward despite whatever it thinks. It wants you to be safe. What the hell does it know though about what you're capable of. You have only fed it examples from the past. You're playing at your edge and going to feed it examples its never seen before. With time your mental construct of yourself will update and be a little more quiet as you prove to yourself your capacity. This only happens though if you take action despite what that critique is saying.
Actions taken:
- Affirmations
- 2nd meditation in the afternoon
- Led my munch
- Took a nap
I rarely, if ever, take naps. But I was pretty tired from the night before. So I finished up 90% of my work and gave myself the leeway to take 20 minute cat nap in the afternoon.
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jmand said:
Life is too damn short not to be. Lamenting on the suffering only perpetuates and amplifies the suffering. If you learn to preform mental Jiu Jitsu, the challenges become fun, or at the very least more neutral allowing you to accept the reality of the situation.
jmand said:
As I always say, hold two opposing views in your head. Head and acknowledge the words of the inner critique, as it usually holds some ounce of truth, then continue to plow forward despite whatever it thinks. It wants you to be safe. What the hell does it know though about what you're capable of. You have only fed it examples from the past. You're playing at your edge and going to feed it examples its never seen before. With time your mental construct of yourself will update and be a little more quiet as you prove to yourself your capacity. This only happens though if you take action despite what that critique is saying.
- Joined
- May 21, 2022
- Goal
- Serve
- Age
- 30
Day 80
Actions taken:
Got pretty caught up in work and missed the 2nd meditation today. The last few days I've just been cranking out work in the day and relaxing in the evening. Because I missed my usual self care day on Sunday, I just need a bit of down time.
OF Girl and I were actually supposed to have a date this evening. She's a really big fan of animals (fun fact she owns 5 snakes, 2 rats, a cat, and dog) so we were going to take my dog out for a walk along the lake and boardwalk. But her family planned a big get together for this evening so she had to cancel. However she immediately wanted to reschedule and she has consistently been the one wanting to reengage in conversation, with teasing and flirting, throughout the week. Feel pretty confident, in time, this one will be a part of the harem. That will feel pretty cool because it'll be the first social circle lay since I started all this.
Actions taken:
- Affirmations
Got pretty caught up in work and missed the 2nd meditation today. The last few days I've just been cranking out work in the day and relaxing in the evening. Because I missed my usual self care day on Sunday, I just need a bit of down time.
OF Girl and I were actually supposed to have a date this evening. She's a really big fan of animals (fun fact she owns 5 snakes, 2 rats, a cat, and dog) so we were going to take my dog out for a walk along the lake and boardwalk. But her family planned a big get together for this evening so she had to cancel. However she immediately wanted to reschedule and she has consistently been the one wanting to reengage in conversation, with teasing and flirting, throughout the week. Feel pretty confident, in time, this one will be a part of the harem. That will feel pretty cool because it'll be the first social circle lay since I started all this.
- Joined
- May 21, 2022
- Goal
- Serve
- Age
- 30
Day 81
Actions taken:
Bought a few new items to continue to round out the archetype including some clip in Viking braids/ dreads. They are handmade in the UK so I'm probably not going to see them for a month, but I think they are going to look pretty cool. Also got some rockstar rings and some smart/professional bracelets.
Also had Spiritual Girl over today. Treated her to some wax play and some very dominant sex afterwards. Wax I got for this was perfect. Hot enough to sting right after blowing out the candle, but cools quickly enough you can get veeeeerrrry close to her pussy. The quick dry and peeling also means we could move to... other activities... very quickly. She loved every minute of it.
Actions taken:
- Affirmations
- 2nd meditation in the afternoon
- Bought some new fashion items
Bought a few new items to continue to round out the archetype including some clip in Viking braids/ dreads. They are handmade in the UK so I'm probably not going to see them for a month, but I think they are going to look pretty cool. Also got some rockstar rings and some smart/professional bracelets.
Also had Spiritual Girl over today. Treated her to some wax play and some very dominant sex afterwards. Wax I got for this was perfect. Hot enough to sting right after blowing out the candle, but cools quickly enough you can get veeeeerrrry close to her pussy. The quick dry and peeling also means we could move to... other activities... very quickly. She loved every minute of it.
