colgate - FINALLY!!! i get my first daygame lay!!! after 3 years!!!

[Manganiello]

Man it sounds awesome as fuck over there.

Who was the other guy?

 

[colgate / bulldog]

I decided to just hang around and see what would happen. Rick ended up telling this girl to makeout with me. So we did. She was like 5'9" and white. Then Rick was like "I gotta get this on snap/video!" so we madeout again.

So I've learned that this chick was in 10+ pornos. I guess I can say I've madeout with a pornstar now. Make of that what you will lol.

 

[lacroix]

Honestly, her personality was kind of grating and she was acting ultra masculine. Reminded me of many chicks in Austin whom I met around my apartment.

We were trying to hook her up with @lacroix so we went up to his hotel room. She also "chose" another guy from the group whom she wanted to hook up with, and we ran into that guy later, and he came with us. Plan was to just leave them in hotel room with lacroix, and then Rick and I would bounce.

So we did that, and then later even lacroix was somehow super turned off by her as well so he left shortly after. She ended up hooking up with the other guy, and some other guy in a threesome. Then later she hooked up with yet another guy in our group.

Before I started going balls to the wall with dating, I was kind of like "omg kissing, wow!" But now I've kind of been seeing it as just some other escalation step. Like it's not a huge deal anymore. It does really get me aroused though and puts me in the mood with a girl though.

Anyway, leaving Phoenix tomorrow. Will be taking time off from focusing on dating for a while to catch up on work and sort out an environment where I can better make sustained progress over a longer period of time instead of just darting around the country. I really like Phoenix though and would consider visiting here in the distant future, it even seems like a great place to live.

She was an interesting character. Not my type but I envy her shamelessness, screwing a bunch of guys in a group and giving exactly zero fucks.

Tempe was really cool. The students are lots of fun. Assuming the surrounding areas hold up too it would probably be a great place to live.

In only a few days you got some dates/kissing in, which is awesome. If you lived there longer you'd definitely have some really cool shit happen.

 

[colgate / bulldog]

I literally was schizzing out at my parents' place from not being able to approach so I booked an AirBNB in San Jose for a week. I'm going to keep staying here for maybe a month until I get my future plans sorted out.

Strolled around getting a huge nostalgia blast though it's Sunday so no volume. Still couldn't resist approaching. I'm here because the realization that I can go up to nearly any girl and try to start something is irreversible and after how much shit happened to me in Phoenix last week, I can't not approach and stop dating. It felt like I unplugged a turbine on full blast for no reason so rather than sitting around trying to sort a long-term solution all day, I decided to come here in the interim.

I also spent some time reading Suave1's log as he had some success with approach on a campus. It's quite different than what I've been exposed to but doing approach blitzes on a campus means burning it down quickly and getting banned/blackballed (iow, even if you don't get explicitly banned, if all the girls know you're talking to them, I think you basically become notorious and none of the girls will meet you. Similar thing happened to pancakemouse from approaching too many Argentinian girls and they all told each other, effectively closing him off from many girls).

I think Suave1's log has been brushed off under the radar in particular, mainly because he doesn't necessarily do "high volume approach", but I think more people should check it out. I say this because his log seems like what a normal guy on a campus would do if he wanted to hook up with girls at school, without reading a crazy amount of esoteric theory. He managed to get a couple hookups and a plate if I remember correctly last semester.

https://killyourinnerloser.com/forums/viewtopic.php?p=22824#p22824

Daygame
3 approaches. 1 instadate. 0 pull.

1 - Hot af asian with her mom. Literally couldn't not approach. Brief convo, and then they said they were in a rush and rejection on the contact exchange.
2 - Chick on skateboard, looked like hot white chick from Arizona. Except wasn't a chick. I said "yo", and then a deep male voice said "sorry?". Instantly ejected.
3 - I was sitting around chilling when a chick came over and sat down on a bench near me. She said "hi" to me. Then she meditated for like 10 minutes. I decided not to be a total asshole and control myself until she finished her round of meditation. Then I just went up and said "hey, I'm colgate". She ecstatically told me her name, and then I just asked her if she wanted to grab some boba tea. Agreed, and she wouldn't stop talking. She's some divorced yoga chick who was talking about how we're "living in multiple layers of simulations." Also talked about how "we should embrace life and take risks and explore" blah blah. Anyway, I went for the pull after 15-20 minutes after I finished my tea. Declined. Let's decline "taking the risk" of going back to random guy's place. Talked for another 20ish minutes and walked around. I went for the pull again 2x after that and she declined again, so we just exchanged.

 

[pancakemouse]

Oh god, Man Jose. I'm so, so sorry.

Wait, you love Asian chicks.

OK, fine, you'll be in heaven.

At least every other guy is weak there, so it's not like you'll have to deal with competition.

 

[colgate / bulldog]

Oh god, Man Jose. I'm so, so sorry.

If you go out to the suburbs or the tech complexes, yeah lol.

But the gender ratio at the uni is 51.3% female. Besides it doesn't matter because I remember being here years ago never approaching the swarms of hot college girls.

I guess I *will* use this reply to talk about two times I tried to "approach" girls while at uni, just completely organically.

1 - Random asian girl sitting by herself eating. I just went up and asked if I could eat with her. 30+ minute chat, I never bothered asking for her contact information.
2 - Japanese girl I overheard speaking Japanese. Just went up to her and said I'm learning Japanese (in Japanese) and exchanged LINE. Met up for Ethiopian food some days later. Then she blocked me on LINE.

 

[1v1mekid]

I'm relatively new to this forum. I just read the first 5 pages of this log and the 2 newest pages. Holy shit dude, you've made massive strides so quickly. Keep it up.

 

[colgate / bulldog]

I guess I came to the realization that a lot of my “male drive” has shriveled up because I spent the first 25 years of my life suppressing my feelings (both emotional and sexual), and now when I’m trying to go hard on self-improvement, my past suppression has manifested itself into a physiological issue.

But surely if I can train my body into having no male desire, I can train it back, right?

Was reading some of my old logs like an egomaniac again. I would like to tell September colgate that yes, it's possible.

I'm absolutely horny af like half of the day now. Don't really want to get too TMI but I don't feel like I have this problem anymore.

Especially after last week in Phoenix, where I got blueballed from my pull+no hookup and had 2 makeouts in 2 days from nightgame, I've been so hyper-thirsty now. Literally ate at the same Vietnamese noodle place with hot asian waitresses with long slutty nails and pumps two nights in a row and paid $25 both nights.

Just go out and approach a bunch of girls over several months, it freaking works lol.

 

[colgate / bulldog]

Stealing this from CainGettingLaid's excellent post here as I've felt the same lately: https://killyourinnerloser.com/forums/viewtopic.php?p=27957#p27957

Struggling with the pussy beggar mindset

Do I really have this mindset?
Yeah I do. It's also a recent mindset as well. Now when I approach girls, I'm extremely eager to talk to her and be "hyper-pushy" about it. I thought it was just being forward, but I think it's coming off more like a child whining at his parents to "pleeeeeeeeaaase buy me mariokart omg i want it i want it!!!!"

This is also kind of a new feeling, because when I started approach, I hardly had any sex drive and the desire to actually sleep with girls was very latent. Honestly, it kind of started on an emotional premise of trying to gain back lost years of seeing so many cute girls in high school and college and not even realizing I could have just straight up approached them. But now I've pretty much satiated that desire as now I can literally go up to nearly any girl I want to in most situations anywhere, and my new unfilled desire is more primal and reptilian.

What is holding me back?
I'm naturally high-energy, and it's often uncontrolled and turns spastic. My natural state is a ball of plasma. I can do and enjoy an approach session on little to 0 hours of sleep even, and I'm literally usually up awake because I can't stop thinking about approaching more girls the next day. Usually on no sleep, I'm absolutely even more wired and spastic than usual.
1.5h of sleep: https://killyourinnerloser.com/forums/viewtopic.php?p=27153#p27153
no sleep at all: https://killyourinnerloser.com/forums/viewtopic.php?p=24349#p24349

Even on most days, I have to actively control myself and dial my energy way the fuck down, just in my general life. I used to literally run everywhere instead of walking like a normal person. If I couldn't focus on some work, I would go out and sprint like half a mile just to chill the fuck out and focus. My voice is extremely loud and inflects wildly, especially when I'm not thinking about it, and I can have high-paced chats about topics I'm interested in for hours. I can write long posts and spam chats with hundreds of messages a day. At night, I hate just having a conversation with some chick, I'm allured to the dance floor and just go wild, spam all the girls, grab their hands, twirl them around a bunch, grab their asses, etc.

Once I'd truly gotten over approach anxiety and physical contact anxiety, and started actually trying to escalate on girls, my general sex drive started coming back. Combined with what I've said above about being spastic, it's a perfect recipe for being a hyper-thirsty pussy beggar.

I literally have zero idea what types of girls this would even filter for, and I think it actually screens way too many of them out. If anything, I've noticed guys whom chicks generally are attracted to are calm, cool, and collected. The stability comes off as safety and I think that's comforting for girls. Meanwhile, I'm wild, reactive, and unpredictable.

Mental remedies
I had a pretty hallucinogenic vision (lol here we fucking go again with this shit) back in Nashville which I used for getting over being "sad" about negative outcomes and in turn, also being less "excited" about positive outcomes.

Take a square wave signal in an oscilloscope


The amplitude ("height") of the wave is quite high in this picture. If you're wildly reacting to both positive and negative outcomes, then this high amplitude square wave can model that.

The goal you should always have if you're trying to maintain a baseline is to squash this as much as possible into a flat line. That is, dial the magnitude of everything way the fuck down. Stop getting overly "excited" when something good happens to you, stop plummeting to rock bottom when something doesn't go your way. It's also what I see in my head while having a conversation with a chick, and I try to squash it down.

I mention this analogy because it worked for getting me back into approaching after getting kicked off the university campus in Nashville. So I ought to bring this back and use it as a general mental visual for maintaining a cooler and calmer presence, and dialing my thirst way the fuck down. Squash the waveform into a flat line as much as possible. Maintain your frame.

Practical changes/remedies
Shoot-the-shit bullet list:
- start using above mental trick to chill out
- figure out how to remind myself throughout the day to actively speak with a flatter tone, instead of just "forgetting"
- consciously dial myself down and being level before going up to a girl, instead of just impulsively opening or chasing her
- keep approaching girls, but be more cognizant of what I'm doing and ways to have fun with the girl during the approach''
- hit the gym consistently and keep the diet
- think about what incentive to girls have to see me. lean into those traits more and figure out what traits i need to develop to attract the types of girls i want

--

Once again, thanks CainGettingLaid for realizing this mindset in himself and documenting how he's going to solve it

Hoping this provides some insight on what I currently feel like and what I can do about it.

 

[Holden]

Didn't read your post in detail but if you're high energy and you can't tone it down, you can just push her more, and let your high energy be the pull .Say stuff like "we're never going to work out", "I'm going to make you my best friend", "I can't deal with girls who [her hobby]" etc.

Are you doing stuff like this? If not, might be something worth trying.

 

[colgate / bulldog]

Didn't read your post in detail but if you're high energy and you can't tone it down, you can just push her more, and let your high energy be the pull .Say stuff like "we're never going to work out", "I'm going to make you my best friend", "I can't deal with girls who [her hobby]" etc.

Are you doing stuff like this? If not, might be something worth trying.

Wow, I didn't realize this could actually be a vibe.

I did get that makeout with the hot half-asian chick in Phoenix from incessantly pushing like an asshole and giving zero fucks about her friend who thought I was "weird". I usually give up being pushy because I'm also impatient but if I leaned into it more and really did that more often I could potentially get some things to work out for me?

I have extremely few data points from other guys doing this which is why I started thinking about whether it's actually just coming off as hyper thirsty. Like I can't really act like "I don't care" or something yet and I just go off pure energy over anything else

 

[pancakemouse]

As much as I hate to say it, RSD Tyler is a high energy guy you could model: https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x2ynk68

 

[CainGettingLaid]

I guess I came to the realization that a lot of my “male drive” has shriveled up because I spent the first 25 years of my life suppressing my feelings (both emotional and sexual), and now when I’m trying to go hard on self-improvement, my past suppression has manifested itself into a physiological issue.

But surely if I can train my body into having no male desire, I can train it back, right? I mean suppressing myself in my younger years was probably some form of “conscious” decision to some degree, and probably at first it wasn’t natural. But then over time, I stopped having the ability to cry, the desire for women, the desire to crush my goals, and landed myself in mediocrity. Likewise, it’s probably best I just *be* cerebral for now, take the ACTIONS of approaching, fail a fuck ton and have a lot of experience at failure. That should rebuild my desire right.

Nothing makes a man horner than actually TRYING to get laid.

So fucking true.

I had my test tested after summer for the first time. It was much higher than expected. No idea why, probably genetics and many factors. A friend of mine told me it is no fucking miracle that it is high because I just spend all summer approaching 1000+ chicks with AA drills. At first I didn't get it, but it makes sense now. Of course your brain and body adapt to your lifestyle.

 

[colgate / bulldog]

I've posted a big table of my approach sessions and will probably update that, rather than making a post every time I do an approach session: https://killyourinnerloser.com/forums/viewtopic.php?p=18958#p18958

I plan on making posts about approach sessions when it's actually a session and not just a couple approaches here and there.

--

Daygame
Haven't done much approaching over the past few days because turns out my uni has online classes this week. I spent a couple hours each day walking around and only finding like 6 girls to talk to, tops.

Switched approach venues to a mall district a short drive away. I've heard guys pulling from IDs driving the girl in their car, so it was a limiting belief for me that I never did that back in Austin (I think I might have mentioned that in November too).

Anyway, 15 approaches, 0 instadates, 0 contacts over 1.5 hours. Haven't had a zero day since November.

I've been recording my approaches with Manganiello and we've been trying to get feedback on them and evaluate our interactions. I'm noticing I could be doing better approaches from them, and I have some points I want to write up specifically later from a voice message Troy sent to us, but I'll try to keep them in mind. Seems like this mall district has acceptable volume even on weekday evenings, so I hope it's poppin this weekend.

 

[colgate / bulldog]

Daygame
Friday 01/28: 2#/20. 1.5h
Saturday 01/29: 3#/30. 2.25h
Sunday 01/30: 4#/40. 3h

I've been doing intermall approach over the weekend. There are two malls right across a large boulevard and I go between the two.

This is a completely different ballpark than strolling through a university campus. Typically at a university campus, I can have a short basic conversation with all the girls I approach. This was even true for the most part at the shopping districts in Austin.

On the other hand, I easily went over 30+ approaches over the past 3 days that lasted less than 10 seconds, and didn't even get past "Hi, excuse me" on a good bunch. This was quite rare up until now. It was hilarious to see girls changing their entire trajectory because I went up to them. Probably doesn't help that most of the girls I'm approaching are Asian women driving Mercedes-Benzes with expensive purses, but it's what I'm into. They also have pretty nails. Will take a bit to get used to this dynamic.

But this venue is good because it seems sustainable. I can't burn it down like a university campus, and I can hopefully stay under the radar of security if I don't act careless. I still have the nearby university campus as well where I can do approaches here and there while walking around town, but I'm probably going to avoid doing more than 10 approaches a day there. I basically need to use self-control and be discreet.

I wasn't able to get an instadate, but to be fair I've also been approaching duos and groups to try to get more approaches in. A couple of my exchanges were from those, and as I've probably mentioned in previous logs, I'm experimenting with having the girl introduce me to her friends so I don't seem like a social retard.

As I said in my last post, I've been recording some of my approaches. I still have a long way to go with not letting anxious plasma energy steamroll through the conversation and having a more masculine tonality (speaking more slowly, fewer upward inflections, not dragging out syllables), but I'll post some soundbytes here for people to listen to (chronological order). They're kind of long, but I greatly appreciate anyone who takes the time to listen to them and give feedback:
https://www.sndup.net/rntd/
https://www.sndup.net/ftjv/
https://www.sndup.net/ssqz/
https://www.sndup.net/f2cx/

Here's a fun text conversation as a bonus:
View attachment 1


Sugar baby date flake
Normally, I wouldn't have mentioned this as another section, but this was quite a bizarre approach + text conversation with a chick I approached on Saturday night.

I approached her at a crosswalk, and there was probably an audience of 10 people standing and waiting in silence. I open extremely short Spanish chick and every question I ask her, she's like "I'll tell you the next time we meet~". I'm like, great. Then she jumps to give me her number within 30 seconds of talking. Probably could have said something like "hold on, we barely know each other" and extended the conversation for a bit, but I was quite surprised so I just took it.

The next morning, she sends me this text:


Literally every subsequent message she throws a kiss emoji at the end. Reminds me of how my mom texts me.

Anyway, she wanted "dinner and shopping" at an expensive restaurant in the mall, but I wanted a simple bar date. So she was like "text me when you're ready to take me out for dinner and shopping".

Initially I was just going to ghost her. But I got lots of conflicting advice from various guys ranging from "block and delete" to "go and meet up, divert the date location on the spot" to "shopping means she wants you to drill her bro!!". I came to a realization that I need to stop relying on other people to help me make decisions, and start thinking about + making my own decisions, regardless of my experience. So that's what I did.

I thought about it for probably 3 hours as I was going through my day, and figured ehhh, I probably need the fuck-up mileage since I have so little experience, and let's see where this goes. Then I texted "ok. meet me at the crosswalk where we first met." and she was like "see you then (kiss emoji). make sure to bring me flowers!" I was 0% looking forward to seeing her at this point.

I went to the mall to eat and do an approach session and figured I could just meet her at the end of my session. And my plan was if I did get an instadate, to cancel this date.

I didn't realize she changed the time to 6:30pm, but regardless she never sent me a text she was there. So maybe I was the one who flaked. Anyway, I walked by the crosswalk around 7:10pm and sent a text asking if she was by the crosswalk. No response. Kept doing some approaches, then sent another text that "okay, you never responded so the date is off, bye." In retrospect, I likely dodged a bullet/waste of time. And I absolutely cared less than zero because I was mid-approach session.

 

[Crisis_Overcomer]

On the other hand, I easily went over 30+ approaches over the past 3 days that lasted less than 10 seconds, and didn't even get past "Hi, excuse me" on a good bunch.

Thanks for sharing this. I've been thinking that environment of approaches is also important. You_Know_Who says intrastation approaches really show a girl's true receptiveness due to the fast-paced nature. College campuses must be baby mode from what I've seen so far. Curious to see how intramall will work for you.

https://www.sndup.net/ftjv/

There's noise so I can't understand what she says at the beginning. But

a) I wouldn't ask her if she wanted to eat something together, I'd just say let's eat something together
b) I'd have pushed more, not immediately say "Oh that's OK let's talk for a sec"

https://www.sndup.net/ssqz/

I noticed that it was recorded at 19:36:10 so I'd ask her when she's gonna meet her friend. If they were gonna meet at 8, you could pitch an instant date.

BTW, for me an instant date doesn't necessarily mean going to a coffee shop/tapioca place. Some times I say "I'm going to grab a water from XYZ place, walk for me for a bit."
.
.
.

But I got lots of conflicting advice from various guys ranging from "block and delete" to "go and meet up, divert the date location on the spot" to "shopping means she wants you to drill her bro!!". I came to a realization that I need to stop relying on other people to help me make decisions, and start thinking about + making my own decisions, regardless of my experience.

My 2 cents:

You're not at a level where you can make your own decisions about some things. You're already friends with Troy who is a legit player. I'd ask for his advice. To be clear, I don't suggest asking him about everything. But in situations like this one that you're not 100% sure how to procceed, I'd ask for his feedback or what he'd do.

 

[pancakemouse]

These are good. Keep posting them.

Your current problems:
- Tonality
- Lack of sexual tension
- Asking too many questions
- Not DHVing enough
- Talking about yourself very little, then cutting yourself off, perhaps because you don't feel like YOU'RE the prize
- Not making the conversation about YOU and HER

https://www.sndup.net/rntd/

Pure interview mode here. Think about it from her perspective. A guy walks up and is fun with her for two minutes, but she realizes she knows nothing about him. Why would she entertain a further interaction?

Tonality needs work.

https://www.sndup.net/ftjv/

You go for an immediate instadate without much compliance. This happens in the fourth audio as well. You're almost always gonna get rejected here. If a homeless guy came up and asked to eat with you, would you say yes to this? Build some trust first, then ask.

You tell the long Yosemite story. How is she reacting to this. Is she tolerating it, or is she very invested? How could you come up with a different story that demonstrates higher value?

"You and I should do that sometime" <--- good future projection

The story about your friend clutching your arm walking in Berkeley is a GREAT DHV!!! Protector of women! Come up with more anecdotes like this.

Very little sexual tension in this interaction. Just interview mode + friendly conversation.

https://www.sndup.net/ssqz/

Question mode.

What is that restaurant?
Is it any good?
Have you been to that poke place?
What are you a fan of.

She knows nothing about you.

Make it about you.
Make it about her.
And most importantly, make it about you and her.

You transition into talking about yourself for like 10 seconds... then you cut it off and start asking her questions again.

The speed date joke was funny.

I'm spontaneous
- Good, I like spontaneous girls. What makes you spontaneous?

(reward her)

Zero sexual tension in this whole conversation.

Conclusion: what is the metaframe of this interaction? What does this girl see? This friendly guy walks up to her, asks her a bunch of questions. Then asks for her number. Flake/ghost.

https://www.sndup.net/f2cx/

Receptive right away! Big jump to go for the sitting with her to grab an ice cream, you can soften this with a false time constraint: "I'm just on my way to... but do you mind if I sit with you for a minute?"

She rejects but you calibrate anyway. Good.

You talk about yourself more now, but then cut it off with another question. Maybe you can make your moving around into a DHV, and pause to let it hit and see if she reacts.

"You gotta travel more" - decent tease but could formulate it to hit harder -> "You don't get out much do you ;-)" or "We're really gonna have to get you out of the house more ;-)"

You DHV some with your international travel. EXPAND on this. You keep cutting off talking about yourself. Remember, you are the prize. You are interesting. Not her.

Some woman tries to AMOG your set. The less you engage her, the better.

OK, so she has a boyfriend. But she doesn't reveal until the close because there is no sexual tension. The earlier you create sexual tension, the earlier she will give the boyfriend objection and you will save yourself some time.

 

[colgate / bulldog]

You're not at a level where you can make your own decisions about some things.

Yeah of course, I do realize that. That statement was more of a life philosophy type thing. It's good to get feedback from those who are more experienced than yourself, but if you're always relying on other people to make every little decision for you without really thinking about it for yourself, you can't grow.

(btw, Troy said that this girl would have a zero percent chance of hooking up, which I thought as well since my initial hunch was just to ghost)

 

[Holden]

The sugar baby sounds crazy. No sane person would text something like that to a virtual stranger. (Referring to the picture and cheesy "sending you good vibes" text). I would've avoided.

 

[Jacobpalmer123]

Thats funny about the older woman. Cause if you're older than them then you're too old. If your younger then them then you're too young. You can't win. So in the end just have to do your own thing.

Honestly her first text was so weird that you did dodge a bullet. It's good to make your own choices and see what happens.